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Published: 2010-01-16 23:35:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 227; Favourites: 6; Downloads: 6
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Description
These secrets waft through the air.Silent, undisturbed.
We pretend they don't exist.
We see them
Like looming shadows and mindless pits.
That one over there, she slits her wrists covers them only with a bracelet.
This one, he drinks away his pain
And another she smokes away her worries.
Some of them take turns in our minds, wretch at our guts and consume our guilt.
Rape⦠molestation.
Murder.
Still collecting, silent and gathering around the air.
Contaminating, like a vivacious disease.
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Comments: 18
thank you
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welcome
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i hope you dont mind but i submitted this to my group "Emo Poet society". if you would like me to remove it i will. i just really liked the piece lol, and it nice to have work in the group thats not mine
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We see them
*like looming shadows and mindless pits.
I think those lines would flow better if they sort of melded together. (: Just a thought.
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thank you for that. ill really take that into consideration. i love when people critique my work. it helps me so much. thank you.
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Really like how well put-together... it meshs from one ill fate of personal destruction to another. It's linked in a way that flows smoothly... but still breathes the pain behind such actions... the cost from trying to defeat our own personal evils... that even those deeply disturbed had some ill beginning... some saddened situation that over took them, and they evolved into something so much worse.
It's odd how to make one think things with this... very many thoughts are racing through my mind.
Can they be helped, is it too late.... are we all so plagued?
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does it really make you think this much? i based this off of my family to say in the least, we arent the best communicators, and we dont know everything the other does. but i can still see their pain looming over them like clouds of endless destruction, like the snakes that coil around our throats, tighten and choke us to death.
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I do think that much from it.
As for your family, sounds a bit like mine. I don't keep in close contact with most of them due to 'issues'. I would like to think that my older sister is the one least plauged by regrets in life - but the closeness we share is in interests, more friend than sister bond. It's hard to explain.
Other than her, I have one other member of my family I keep in touch with... my older brother. I know he'd help me in bind if he could - plus he's an ear I can complain to.
*sighs* These two people pretty much are my family. I'm not close to either of my parents, I view my second brother as a good friend,... I often I'm cringing at mention of my lil sis's life. She's... a bit of a drama queen.
*lol* I do get the 'looming shadow' feelings with some of my family at times... so, I can see how it inspired your work.
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i know how that feels. the only ones in my family that i talk to are my brother and my sister, and even then i barely talk to them since i moved out. im not really talking to my parents much lately these days. i find it hard to hold a phone conversation. i love them better from a distance.
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From a distance seems safer with most of my family. Less likely for my mother to over-react, my lil sister to get me blamed for something else she did... and I stress enough as is.
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Very powerfull and also very true and nicely writen I like this very much
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thank you so much, that is a huge ego boost
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Sorry for the lateness of my reply but what you had written was so nice so great so honest it was the only comment I could think of saying I should be thanking you
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AWE that was so sweet. thank you so much 
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wow. beautiful. really beautiful.
brilliant similies and metaphor's (:
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thank you.
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