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Xsanaty — Team SWET - Erica Yukiusagi (Rwby OC) (OUTDATED)

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Published: 2019-03-12 21:38:30 +0000 UTC; Views: 9768; Favourites: 145; Downloads: 0
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Description Check out my new and improved character profile for Erica:  www.deviantart.com/xsanaty/art…

The third member of Team SWET. I'm not sure If i should try and make the backstories shorter, or if people like reading them. Let me know As always, feel free to give feedback for both the character and the artwork itself. If you have any questions about the character, feel free to ask  

See the rest of Team SWET here:
Scarlett Dahlia:  www.deviantart.com/xsanaty/art…
Wisteria Sakura:  www.deviantart.com/xsanaty/art…
Erica Yukiusagi:  www.deviantart.com/xsanaty/art…
Taliyah Primrose:  www.deviantart.com/xsanaty/art…

Hope you like her and stay tuned for the final member, Taliyah, in the future  

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Character Profile:

Name: Erica Yukiusagi

Name Explanation: Erica can mean "Eternal Ruler", "Yukiusagi" steams from the Japanese word for "Snow" and "Rabbit" and is pronounced "Yuu-Keyu-Sah-Kii"

Nickname (If any): Yuki

Age: 17

Birthday (Year excluded): July 12th

Sex: F

Race: Faunus (Bunny ears)

Symbol: Bunny head

Affiliation: Beacon Academy

Team: SWET

Team Leader: No

Physical Appearance:

Height: 168cm (5"5')

Weight: 66kg (145lbs)

Eye color: Yellow (Red during active semblance)

Hair Style: Short

Hair color: Light brown

Complexion: Light

Body Type: Small, Hourglass

Cup Size (If female): A

Scars (If any): Three claw marks across her face

Tattoos (If any): No


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Personality:

Erica is a calm, quite girl who seems very carefree without much energy to her. She speaks in a soft monotone voice with little to no emotion, which does give the impression that she is shy and introverted. However this isn't the case, as she does enjoy talking and hanging out with others. She can become chatty if the topic interests her. Beside social skills, she is very determined in her studies along with training and loves every moment she spends improving herself to become a great huntress.

Since she was unable to partake in many outdoor activities due to her situation, she spent most of her childhood indoors reading a lot of books together with one of her family members, usually her mother. The books she reads are a mix of fantasy novels and educational textbooks. She loves reading books and enjoys talking about what she has read to anyone that are willing to discuss them with her. She especially loves the books around adventure and heroes, which sparked her dream of being a hero herself by becoming a huntress. But while she does enjoy talking about what she knows, she can quickly see if the person doesn't know anything about the topic or isn't interested, and will often then switch topics or stop talking entirely.

Spending most of her time reading means that she is very intelligent about various subjects about the world, but she focuses a lot more on the books that teaches her to become a better huntress. Any books about other huntsmen, information about the Grimm and various combat training books are all things she reads the most. In addition, she also reads a lot of robots and mechanical teaching books in order to maintain her own legs. This is because she has spent most of her childhood relying on others, so the more she can do herself the better she feels about not being a bother to others, but will of course ask for help if she needs it.

Erica may be a quiet and simple girl, but her sheer determination to become a hero is what drives her to do her best.   She isn't afraid to share her knowledge and is always ready to help those in need.

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Likes: Reading(Fantasy hero stories / School text books), Training, Studies, Huntsmen, Her Bunny Plushie, Scarlett's Cookies, Talking about things she enjoys, Her older brother.

Dislikes: Swimming, Oceans, Sailing, Being wet (Generally being near water), bullies, relying too much on others, talking about her scars.

Strengths: High intelligence which she doesn't mind sharing, friendly and helpful, calm and collected, rarely shows negative emotions such as anger.

Weaknesses: Sometimes too quiet which makes it hard to communicate with her, unless the topic is of interest.

Fear(s): Erica is afraid of any bodies of water, lakes, rivers and oceans all terrify her. This is due to a traumatic event during her childhood where she almost lost her life during a boat ride. This also means she never learned how to swim, which was near impossible anyway due to her robotic legs.

Habit(s): Has a habit of completely spacing out when reading, making it hard to get her attention.

Fatal Flaws(s): She completely shuts down when near any bodies of water, leaving her shaking in fear. Even worse is if she falls into deep waters she completely panics while trying to stay above water, screaming and crying in fear which might attract water Grimm.

Hobby(ies): Reading books, maintaining her Legs.

Skills: Robotic engineering: Erica is knowledgeable enough about robotics limbs that she can repair, fix and maintain them. This also extends to other similar technologies.

Quirk(s): Erica has a bunny plushie that she keeps on her at all times and can't sleep without it. The only exception is out-of-school missions since she is afraid that she might lose it. 


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Weapon:

Weapon name: Snow (Right leg) and Frost (Left leg)

Weapon Type: Robotic Legs w. Blades & High Caliber Guns

Weapon Description: Having been born without legs, her father, a robotics engineer, created a pair of mechanical prosthetic legs for her to replace her normal ones. Unlike her usual ones, these are created specifically for combat with implemented shooting and cutting capabilities.

In Travel mode the legs work as any other and is used to walk around. The heel of the feet is the gun part that fires high caliber bullets that are enough to propel her in any direction, but they are very difficult to aim. The gun itself can't be fired without a hard kick, which ensures it doesn't accidentally fire off while walking normally. In combat mode, the feet fold in on itself with the heel folding along the bottom of the foot. The lower leg opens up and quickly deploys the blade part, that fold out a long blade that connects along foot, which also extends the gun part.

The legs themselves are of lightweight but sturdy materials so she is able to walk and swing them around without much effort. They are able to be detach for maintenance which Erica can do herself.

Color scheme:  White, Dark blue, Red, Gold.


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Semblance:

Erica's semblance is "Predator sense", which has a passive and active effect.

Passively: She can sense the presence of any living being; Humans, Faunus, Animals or Grimm, within an approximately 100 meter radius. She won't be able to tell exactly what it is she senses, but she know it's there and in which direction.

Active: Once her semblance is active her eyes turn from yellow to red, and her pupil turns into a vertical slit. While her eyes are in this form; her vision has a red tint to it, all solid material becomes see through to an extent and all living beings that she senses appears to her as a white misty form.

Strength(s): She is always able to know if there are any living being near her, and can use this to know where her enemies and how many there are. This is also strong against any form of illusion or invisibility powers, as she can see where the person is at all times.

Weakness(es): Having this semblance on for longer periods of time can strain her eyes, but not to a point of causing damage to herself. Another problem is any solid material becomes see through, which can cause some problems when trying to navigate towards her target while her semblance is active. 

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Stats:

Physical Strength: (3/10)

Born without legs, Erica has had no chance to partake in or have been interested in any physical activity and was often carried around by her family until her father build her a pair of mechanical legs for her to use. Even then, she spent little time outside or doing any training leaving her body fairly weak. It wasn't until she got her dream of becoming a huntress that she started training, but her body would still be fairly physically weak.

Endurance: (4/10)

Being a smaller person her body is not able to handle too much abuse before tiring out. This, along with her being mostly inactive growing up, also means that she has little stamina to use in combat. She has been training in preparation for becoming a huntress which has improved her body and stamina a bit, but is still lower than your average huntsmen.

Intelligence: (9/10)

Having spent most of her childhood indoors reading various textbooks, she gained a lot of knowledge about the world around her and everything she needs to know about being a huntress. She is especially knowledgeable about robotics, being able maintain her own legs or work on other similar technologies.

Agility: (8/10)

She is able to move around quickly with the help of the push from her weapon. This along with her fighting style of high and low kicks, as well as swinging her legs around while standing on her hands, makes it hard to get close to her. Additionally, she is able to run quick, parkour over and around obstacles, either to escape from dangerous situation or, as it's mostly used, to hunt a target she has focused on with her semblance.

Melee Combat: (8/10)

Her combat style involves a variety of high and low kicks, so with the blades on her legs, this makes it easy for her to decimate any Grimm that comes close. Even against multiple opponents, she jumps an moves around so quickly it's hard to get a hold of her. Some other ways of attacks are her standing on her hands, using the momentum of her moments to swing her body and legs around to slice up anything around her, or using quick close range kicks to fire her guns.

Ranged Combat: (2/10)

The guns on her legs have two modes; Travel or Active mode. In travel mode the guns are the heels of her legs, but are still able to fire if Erica kicks her leg outwards. In Active, or combat mode, her legs folds out the blade and extends the gun part which is mostly used to propel herself around. She still uses her guns for offensive purposes, but are extremely difficult to aim making it pointless to try shooting far away enemies

Defense: (3/10)

Erica relies on her legs to block attacks and have pretty much no armor on herself, which makes her defensive capabilities fairly low.

Aura: (3/10)

Being a fairly small person and having been avoiding attacks during combat, her aura has had little chance to become stronger by regeneration. Her aura levels are fairly low, so she is unable to take as much abuse as others, however she is agile enough to avoid most attacks. But if she gets into a situation where she is unable to dodge attacks, her aura could vanish fairly quickly.

Semblance: (7/10)

Her semblance makes her a powerful hunter with her being able to track and hunt any living being, mostly Grimm. In addition to being able to find her target, it also makes her immune to any sort of illusion effects as she is able to see the person casting the effects. Any invisible target also becomes visible to her.

Teamwork: (7/10)

Erica is a great fighter in combat and she trusts Scarlett or others to give commands and tactics enough to follow them through. Even in situations where Scarlett goes off the rails, Erica is great at adapting to the situation and go fight on her own instincts or work together with the other team members.

Social skills: (4/10)

Having been isolated for the most of her childhood she had a hard time making any friends, with the only people she really talks too being her family. She is not one to be the first to try and make friends, but usually waits for others to make the first move to talk to her. If they manage to talk about something that interests her she becomes quite chatty. She isn't shy in the sense that she can't talk to others, but only speaks to them if she has something she needs and even then she uses very few words or uses gestures. 

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Background(Story):

Erica was born in a small town in the kingdom of mistral. She grew up living with her family, which consisted of her Father, a Robotics engineer working in Atlas, her Mother, a School teacher at the local school and her big Brother, a  huntsman which Erica looks up to. Growing up was especially difficult for her, as she was born without legs. This didn't stop her family from loving her uncontrollably and tried to give her the best childhood they could. Erica was not one to show much emotion while growing up, unless she was doing or talking about things that was interesting to her, but even then it might only be a small smile. 

Having been born without legs, Erica didn't get to enjoy the outdoor activities that other children would. She spent most of her time indoors at home, either with a babysitter or with her mom when she eventually returned home. One of the things that her mother would do is teach her all the things she would learn if she went to school. Other than that, Erica loved to have adventure books read to her, especially the stories about huntsmen saving the world. Since her Brother was a Huntsman, she looked up to him and wished to become a huntress herself one day, but was constantly reminded that it was nearly impossible for her. That didn't stop her from dreaming about it, and she would keep asking her mom to get new adventure/fantasy novel whenever she was out. 

Her brother would occasionally return home from missions to visit along with giving Erica a few gifts from his travels. She loved the things he would bring back, but most important to her was to hear the stories he had to tell about his adventures. Every time he was home, she would cling to him and ask to tell her these stories, which he didn't mind. One day she brought up how it was unfair that she was unable to become a huntress herself, or how she couldn't even walk. Her brother would cheer her up by carrying her on his back to go for walks, not only to enjoy the outdoors, but so her could show her his skills. She loved seeing him play fight and would often fantasize about them training together, but she knew that would probably never happen. 

One day their father returned home to visit during a job he had to complete in the area, much to their delight. He told them that her birthday was approaching but he would be very busy during that time. Therefore the brought her gift with him right now. Grabbing a long rectangular container from the back of his work vehicle, he brought it inside and placed it on the floor for Erica to open. Inside the case were a pair of robotic legs. She stared at them with wide open eyes not sure what to say. Her father explained that he would take her to the hospital to get the necessary connection on her legs operated in, along with a happy birthday greeting. Erica was so happy she couldn't stop crying in joy. After a nice bonding moment they all gathered and left for the hospital. 

After a few hours of careful operating, Erica has now been equipped with a neuro connection that attaches to each of the legs, that allows her to control them like any other limb. She would spend time with her father and brother, to help her learn how to control her legs. It was tough at first, but she persevered and was eventually able to move the legs without much problem, but the walking itself still took some time. From that day on, she would spend every waking moment practicing how to walk no matter how long it might take. Her father gave her some books, manuals about the legs, robotics engineering, so she could maintain her own legs when he was not around. Later that day her father had to leave as it was his only day off, saying goodbye to his family and reminding Erica to never stop following her dreams. 

A few years have passed since that day and Erica is now able to talk as if she had her whole life, even things like running and jumping had become second nature to her. Her brother would take her for walks to a special place in the woods for one thing; Combat training. It had always been a dream of hers to be a huntress, so now that she finally had legs, she felt like it was time for her to learn how to fight in practice, not just from textbooks and stories. Her brother taught her what he could about close combat including hand-to-hand, various forms of kicking, various stances along with dodging and blocking. Not only that but various tactics along with knowing to pick your fights  were things that she learned from her brother. 

As time went on, she became more and more confident in her fighting style, which mainly involved using her legs for kicks while using her body to swing around on her hands to build momentum. Since her small body didn't allow her to make big strong punches, she instead uses her lightweight body to dart around the battlefield or dodge attacks. She loved training out in the woods and it became their special place for training. Whenever they were taking a break, Erica would keep asking about the world along with being a huntsmen. The more story he told her, the more exited she became. She couldn't wait to start attending combat school herself, telling her brother that her biggest dream was to become a hero. 

One day while out training, Erica felt something different about today. It would always feel to her like someone was around her in the forest just moving around. Since she seemed to distracted, her bother asked what was wrong which she had a hard time explaining, other that it felt like someone was nearby. Just as they were talking about it, she suddenly felt like there were a few things approaching towards them. She pointed this out to her brother and the moment they looked towards where she felt the presence, three wolf Grimm appeared from the tree line. They didn't waste any time, preparing themselves for attack. They were quick to dispose of them with her brother being the one making the final strikes. Erica felt more approach and pointed out from which direction. Sure enough, more wolfs appeared. Using their training to good use, both of them fought them off without much trouble. 

Erica could once again sense a presence from the forest but this one was much bigger. They both readied themselves for an attack but suddenly it stopped to run the other way. Confused at first, Erica looked at her brother to tell him what it was doing. Realizing the way the presence was heading was towards their home, they both sprinted in the general direction, however the forest was thick and they eventually got lost. Surrounded by various wildlife in the forest, Erica could no longer tell the difference between all the presences she senses. She was afraid that the Grimm would reach the town before they did. Her Brother calmed her down while encouraging her to concentrate to locate it. Taking a few breathes, Erica closed her eyes and began to concentrate, focusing in on each of the things she senses to locate the one she felt before. It wasn't long before her semblance kicked in, so she opened her eyes wide, the color and pupil changing. Suddenly she could see everything around her, distinguishing between the small wildlife while being able to see through the forest around her. 

Erica looked around at the various living things, she finally found the Grimm she sensed before, located just at the end of her vision range. It was a Deathstalker that was still on its way towards the town, which they quickly rushed towards. Just as the Grimm appeared on the road that lead to the gate, Erica and her brother jumped out of the forests, him taking a few shots at it to gets its attention. The fight was focused on getting it away from the Town, so they lured the Grimm away to an opening a bit away from the main gate. Once they were in the clear, her brother was the one to take it on directly, as he had a real weapon. It took a while, but they managed to defeat it by getting the chance to slice at its belly. As the Grimm dissipated into smoke, Erica ran to her Brother to hug him tightly while telling him how excited she was about the encounter and how awesome it was seeing him fight. They hugged before making their way back home.  

It's been a few years since then and Erica joined a combat school to learn how to fight, which was the beginning of her journey in becoming a huntress. The training she did with her brother has really help her to prepare her for this type of teachings and quickly became one of the most popular fighters in the school with high grades, which made her happy although all the attention she got from her classmates made her uneasy. She wasn't used to being this popular or being around other children since she was homeschooled for most of her life. One day they were on a ship back home from a school trip in Vale, having visited other combat schools including Beacon academy which was the high point for her, getting to visit the school her brother attended. Erica was never good with ships or anything near the ocean as she wasn't able to swim due to her condition, so she spend the entire trip inside her room on her bunk bed reading one of her books.

Suddenly she senses something approaching from below. The presence felt way bigger than any other fish in the ocean. She activated her semblance to see exactly what it is, seeing a big serpent Grimm getting closer to the ship. She jumped off her bed to run out and warn everyone, but the ship was hit by something big which made her fall on the ground. She managed to get topside to a group of confused passengers looking over the ocean, seeing the serpent emerge, roaring down at the ship. The ship's captain told everyone to get down to their rooms while encouraging any huntsmen on board to help protect the passengers. Erica's teacher instructed her to follow the captains direction and get down to their room. But before Erica had the chance to get back inside, the serpents tail hit the bottom of the ship which sent her and a few others towards the edge of the ship.

Hanging onto the railing, Erica looked down at the surface and felt a sudden immense amount of fear. The ship settled back and Erica was able to get back up. She shuffled back towards the wall to stay as far away from the edge as she could. Looking up at the big Grimm, she took a deep breath while her teacher called out to her. As a few other huntsmen began the fight the Grimm, Erica made a sprint towards her teacher to get back inside the ship, but unfortunately the serpent made another attack by first diving under water before jumping up over the ship to smash its tail down the middle. The attack was strong enough to smash a good part of the top of the ship which made it rock even harder. The attack fell close to Erica, who was flung around due to the attack and the ship moving so much. Looking around at the damage, she tried to calm down to assess the situation while thinking what she should do. She managed to get back on her feet, but was a little frustrated that she was unable to do anything against the Grimm itself, so she did what she could by trying to get the passengers from the deck to the lower levels.

The huntsmen on board were doing their best to kill the serpent while the captain tried to maneuver the ship to avoid its attacks. Meanwhile Erica was doing a good job escorting passengers towards the nearest stairwell, using her semblance to make sure all civilians topside were inside the ship. Once the last passenger on her side of the ship was inside, she made a quick sweep with her semblance to make sure she didn't miss anyone. The few huntsmen around her praised her for her efforts before telling her to get inside, as they would take it from there. However, the ship was hit again from the side throwing Erica and the others off balance. Before she could compose herself, an attack from the serpent's tail flew across the top deck, smashing into Erica who was unable to dodge who was  thrown off the ship into the water.

Erica hit the water hard, getting dazed from the attack and the impact. Once she regained her senses, she tried to swim towards the surface but her legs made it difficult, since they weren't built for swimming. This along with her fear of the ocean, made her go into a panic. She trashed around the water trying desperately to reach the surface. The Grimm could sense her fear, so it dove underwater to attack her directly. At this point her body and mind was completely shut down, frozen in fear. She didn't even try to struggle as the Grimm quickly approached her. Just as the jaw of the Grimm opened over her legs, an attack from above hit the serpent in the head, forcing it further down. Unfortunately one of her legs got caught in his mouth, getting ribbed off by the knee. Shortly after this Erica passed out.

She woke up in a hospital hearing various equipment beeping around her, various tubes and wires connected to her body. Once she realized where she was, she looked around to assess her condition. She could feel the bandages around her head along with a few other places on her body, both of her legs were detached and it was hard for her to breathe. Her Teacher was there as she woke up who called for the nurse to check up on her. She explained to Erica that after she fell into the ocean the huntsmen onboard worked together to rescue her while managing to kill the serpent before it could do any more damage. She praised Erica for her bravery and told her she would be right back. Shortly after, she returned with not only the nurse, the doctor, the captain, and a few of the huntsmen, but also her family who was extremely happy that she was okay. The Captain thanked her for helping saving the passengers, praising her for being an exceptional brave person. As a reward, they each wrote letters of recommendations for her to send to any academy she wished once she graduated from her current school.

However, Erica was still shocked from the experience. She even started doubting herself. She didn't know if she could even do it considering her current state, although the doctor kept telling he that she will recover just fine and would be out of the hospital in a few days after a few final tests. She thanked them all and they left to give her some time with her family. They were happy and very proud of what she did, praising her to no end, but Erica didn't feel so cheerful. After explaining how she felt that she couldn't do anything about the Grimm itself and her fear of the ocean, they explained to her that what she did was an important part of being a huntress, protecting those who can't protect themselves. This made her feel a little better, but she was still skeptical about her recovery. She felt bad about the legs since it was a present from her father, but he assured her it was no big deal, that he even excepted something like this to happen. In fact, he was working on a new pair of legs for her as a graduation gift. He pulled out a tablet and showed her the blueprints along with some demonstration videos of how the new legs worked. Erica was glued to the screen, being impressed by the work her father had put into her new legs. Slowly but surely and doubts started fading away. Her brother gave the last confidence boost she needed, by telling her that what she did on the boat made her a hero. With happy tears falling from her eyes, she regained her determination and insured everyone she would never give up on her dream to become a huntress.

Years later she graduated top of her class, along with the recommendations from her teacher and the huntsmen, she nailed the entrance exam and was welcomed to Beacon academy where she would live out her dreams of becoming a hero.

Related content
Comments: 8

shadowflux1909 [2020-10-12 15:12:16 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

caboosemcgrief [2020-05-06 06:23:45 +0000 UTC]

cool design! anything to do with legs is pretty great in my book

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TK-Epsilon117 [2019-10-09 20:17:50 +0000 UTC]

I’ve been meaning to leave a review on this oc for the longest after managing a bit of work of my own for the past few weeks, but here it is!



||Design
Personally, the one thing I remember most about Erica is her design. In all honesty, i feel in love with her the moment i saw her and wanted to know more, i just never had the time to sit down and indulge in her till now. I believe the clothing is a perfect reflection of her personality and how the hoodie is modified for her faunus trait. Speaking of which, while I personally see rabbit and bunny faunus somewhat common, but not in the same extent of wolves and most felines, you at least managed to incorporate her trait into her design in a unique fashion. I’m a huge fan of the robotic legs and the overall appearance of them. It’s not too overwhelming, but it adds some flair to Erica, which is really nice. 



||Weapon & Semblance

As I said before, huge fan of the robotic legs. The mechanics work out well for Erica and the details as to how they work and the fail-safe is good attention to how much effort and detailing you’re willing to put into your character outside of just the art.



Since I adore hand-to-hand/CQC characters, I already have a strong sense of how Erica fights and i’d say it's pretty interesting to see someone like her fight. I would definitely love to see a combat art-piece of her shown one day, but that’s up to you. No pressure.


The semblance isn’t complicated in any sense and it's fairly easy to see how she’d use it in a combat situation. It’s perfect for her if she’s assigned the “Scout/Tracker” role of the team and she could really put Frost & Snow to work to keep pace with her target.



||Stat

Stat system is always a nice touch to add. It’s a nice extra bit of detail to show the extent of their capabilities, as no one is a jack-of-all trades.



||Background

The background is very well put together and it personally felt like i was reading a small novel of sorts — which is a good thing. Some people can hardly manage to do a backstory of any kind without it sounding tragic or overly dramatic. One thing i really enjoyed about it was how it correlates with the information mentioned beforehand in her profile such as her personality,  fear of water, the reason why she likes certain books, how she acquired her legs and the mention of how she unlocked her semblance — that part in particular is really nice as people often don’t put in the detail as to how their OC unlocked their semblance or acquired their weapons (and I'm no exception on most cases, so congrats on that end).


Overall, Erica is a solid character. I can envision how she’d be as a living character in the world of RWBY and how some of her interactions would go and a few interesting ones with a few of my own characters, though mine are of no interest in this topic. In the end, congrats on making such a wonderful character. It was a blast learning about Erica Yukiusagi and i hope to see more of her if possible!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xsanaty In reply to TK-Epsilon117 [2019-10-10 06:40:50 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TK-Epsilon117 In reply to Xsanaty [2019-10-10 20:03:01 +0000 UTC]

I'll be looking forward to them! In the meantime i'll gradually make my way to the other members of Team SWET, so be expecting a review on them as well! Hope everything works out IRL and keep up the good work!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheDukeOfDestiny [2019-03-31 18:21:17 +0000 UTC]

She got leeeeeegs and she knoooows how to use em~

Glad I got to see more of your design work. Love the combination of the hoodie and the zip up underneath, showing her shy and isolationist mindset. And that better be a combat skirt young lady.

Weapon idea is sweet. I'm a bit iffy on replacement limbs as weapons since most of them just tend to be over specialised, but this seems sleek and nice enough it can work out. Props for tying the gunshot to kicks and having a failsafe so she doesn't shoot the ground when she walks, details like that are delightful. 

Semblance works out, I think the idea of her being able to see others whilst losing track of her surroundings is a nice trade off, that'd be interesting to see work out in an actual fight.

Backstory. Wow, a character who was born without legs instead of losing them in some horrible accident? That's pretty rare even beyond RWBY standards. You do such a nice job describing their backstory as stories about their lives, events leading into who they are. Needs some work in terms of punctuation and spelling, remember place names like 'Mistral' should be capitalised, but otherwise this is all great.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xsanaty In reply to TheDukeOfDestiny [2019-04-01 10:04:02 +0000 UTC]

Thanks so much. I'm happy you like her  

I always get nervous when coming up with a Semblance because it has to be balanced in some way, but I think I got a good trade off here as you said. I'm still working on my grammar. Before I read through it after writing it the first time, I used the word "And" like a 100 times. Reading it again, I noticed I also use the wrong word in a few places. Oh well, can't catch them all.

And you bet your ass that's a combat skirt  

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheDukeOfDestiny In reply to Xsanaty [2019-04-01 12:33:30 +0000 UTC]

Mmh, semblances are very hard to balance. But most don't even bother so you're already doing better than 50% of folks. I once saw an OC who could copy and keep another's semblance with no limits at all.

Yeah it happens, the more you write the better you'll get. You've still got a good sense of structure, tone and pacing, it's just the nitty gritty you need to work on.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0