BloodMirana [2016-03-28 12:39:46 +0000 UTC]

I got a brirthday present this morning，but today is not my birthday.I thought maybe somebody had wrong about my birthday date,or that  is not even for me.So I found a passage on the gift,it said "happy birthday,maybe its too early.En, just like it.This is a gift for your watch last year you gave me(never mind).Best wishes. --ND"I was puzzled when I saw that.Because it sounds like say goodbye to me .I like her in first grade（high school）,but she didnt respond to me and find a another boyfriend.At that time I was so sad ,when I saw her I never spook to her.Maybe my behaviors made her sorry for me .So she said ti me ,"please dont always ignore me ,I dont want lose you as a good friend."So we be friends in that year.In second grades,we were in different class and talk less.Until this gift ,it broke the “silence”.Did she still think its sorry for me?Maybe I shoud have a talk to her.En ,I should do that.Thanks for your text,up.Thats all.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

leannetran [2013-10-09 03:42:36 +0000 UTC]

Much like everyone said: Very thought provoking!

A very good read that I'll think about whenever I see the little bar on the right.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

maxnort [2013-10-03 17:35:09 +0000 UTC]

happy birthday!, Merry Christmas, even if you don't celebrate, because at that time of year, we need all the help we can get.  Happy New Year!

other than a shadow, who are you? I will have to go look at your profile...   Avenlea...   hmmm; I will have to read...

a birthday is a special event. if people are "special" to us, we feel should remember rather than be reminded by a machine. at least that's how I feel about it.



oddly enough, today is my birthday. Since I have never actually told this to any machines, I expected nothing for it, but coincidence being what it is, and this appearing today, thought I should mention it. 

of course, I should also mention that coincidence is a close personal friend of mine, and would never forget my birthday (it was probably reminded by the NSA. they know all about me, probably even what I'm getting for Christmas this year).

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Bluebellwriter7 [2013-09-30 23:22:40 +0000 UTC]

I have to thank you for typing this. Because you're right- we really need to learn how to communicate better with the people around us, weather it is on a social media site or in real life. But, I think people react to reaching out better online because, really, at first glance, it's anonymous. We're better protected, unless we wanted to hack, but that's another story. I could go on and on about technicalities about both the human subconscious and technology, but I don't think you to hear that, so, I'll end this comment here.

But you're right. People feel safer talking online to people they don't know in passing, rather than in person or even online to people they used to know. Thanks again.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

J-ko [2013-09-30 23:10:18 +0000 UTC]

Having had the same insecurity myself, I can relate to this. I haven't removed them from my flist, but eventually it'll happen.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Maple-Girl [2013-09-30 19:42:23 +0000 UTC]

We are afraid of connection, because we might be hurt. We are afraid of touch, because we might be sued. We are now taught to regard strangers with suspicion, because they might be _____ and they might _____ us.

When we stop seeking connections, we cease being a civilization.

Thank you for your words.

And Happy Birthday - whenever that may be. ^_^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

matrixdll [2013-09-30 10:40:12 +0000 UTC]

Also I must point out that:

>>No response yet. I'm not expecting one. He might say thank you. He might say nothing. And that's okay. Because I said happy birthday. I extended that tiny amount of energy to cheer for him. To acknowledge his existence, to notice that he is alive and aging and important too.
>>And you know what? It didn't hurt to type those words. It didn't hurt a goddamn bit.

That's genuinely good that you didn't afraid to put tiny amount of energy to cheer that person. It's not much and almost certainly won't affect the world to change by itself, but you know... Desert (or better the ocean... i like sands but they are associated more often with lifelessness) is formed from the myriad of small sand dust pieces (or the water drops, if ocean is your choice P)
And the powerful sand storm that changes lots of things is also consists of millions of little sand bits.

So, even slightest effort must be encouraged.
Cheers, Shadow! :thumbs up:

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

matrixdll [2013-09-30 10:33:27 +0000 UTC]

[Omg I'm so sorry in advance for that terrible tl;dr - as I'm not the native English-speaking bloke I can't just blurt out and describe my thoughts more shortly P
So please disregard if not interested in this discussion. Ok, let's just try and go..]

That is what's being scientifically called "social isolation".
And I'm not just talking about social-media addict, ho no.. To start with, the culture of social-media communication has somewhat derived from our normal reality.

So, about the theory of social isolation that proved itself to be there so much times already. It's not in a terminal stage (like a sociophobe or anything), but a completely destroyed common sense of average individual's feel that everyone around you is as person and human with feelings and dreams as yourself. (because group of compassionate people, especially the large one, is not something easy to control... As once smart Napoleon has said "Divide and conquer", so the society is much easy conquered when it's not really a society, just a bunch of isolated from each other individuals, each of them performs very effectively any commands)

So, back from the global politics' intrigue, and back to the direct topic. Because current social skill development program for individual encourages almost every-fuckin-where, starting from school to be the best of the best, instead of, you know, being ALWAYS a loving and lovable part of people that surround you in a first place (the latter one won't bring much money and personal success, culture, parents and teachers of life say you), thus it becomes more and more having more sense to spend your time either with your own self-development or only the "chosen ones", limited amount of people who can make a boost for you in gaining that success (that's the current western way... I know that cuz' I'm suffering from the same f(ckin issue)

Q: Why is it scary to type out a friendly message?
A: that's the years and years of self-isolation on the way of getting yourself ahead of the curve, being successful, and care later about friends and even less about strangers (there are all the enemies and terrorists all around you in this creepy world, they say, but the truth is... this is not the foreign people are fighting you or plotting your country in ruins... these are the politics who drain out dry our planet, and then tell to the people of their nations that "the enemy is stealing/killing/violating our X" (x could be anything - from real material resources up to some morality treasures/values the nation has achieved and wants to prosper, such as, ahem... "democracy"/), but "our" doesn't mean that this X belongs to people of that nation, oh no.. Almost always it belongs to that 1% of the nation people, which are sitting there and trying to keep up growing of their accumulated wealth (and share a bit with others so they won't complaint)
But the truth is that society currently FIGHTS against dragonian law projects the giant corporations lobbists are trying to push through the interests of society in aim to gain more wealth for a corporation, not people (jesus, just look at the endless pages at avaaz, where people are trying to stop using those deadly for humans pesticides for agriculture, flavor enhancers, preservatives that absolutely lethal-inducing agents in a long term of a living human being... and society with mass-media are wondering why the cases of cancer of various forms has such drastically increased in so many countries. And what about multiple-times increase of suicides in 21-st century in comparison to 20-th? (that's not actually related to product poisons... more likely are a reaction of weaker persons to unhealthy condition of our society) There's a good old saying "don't shit in the living room", but we seems like children who just don't yet understand that seems like sensible thought.

And this is the problem of almost each country in the world, not just western ones (the laughable China's "communism" is a slavepit... the russians democratical vote system is an old fart's joke... the us.. well, i'm not saying anything about those guys cuz i friggin scared of their government with long-grasp hands... russland is basically their 51-st state so I better keep my mouth shut)
Back to the topic - the whole system of achieving personal wealth is the base ground for the problem of that semi-understanded feel of social isolation... my take is all people around the world have to say "f/// you" to their govn-folks next time they'll tell you to bomb and/or slaughter someone, that would be the good for start. Oh, and also say to everyone hello and look at poor/bad people not with hatred, but with compassion, cuz those social rejects - smelly hobos, drug dealers and maniac harrassers-psychopaths - are the result of the current system failure, and not the people's fault in the first place (i know you'll tell me that "they are just lazy - anything - so that is their fault in the first place" but i say that almost always even the biggest efforts of an individual to gain a success depend on external conditions - they depend from completely random people that have the power to decide, what to do with said individual... And even if the child's lazy - it's the small portion of love and the encouragement will put the child not on the way of social rejection or moral code corruption... Yes, there are the streets full of gangs that turn people into bandits, but that is also a failure of the system that encourages people to achieve personal wealth.
And this is just sad that small bunch of people who found their way to the top are feasting upon the bacchanalia of masses and nations, ripping each other throats for whatever reason they've been told to rip.

Q: Why do we hesitate to smile at someone we pass on the street?
A: um, same reason as previous one) we are AFRAID of strange people, because we've been told that there are so much of crooks, muggers, rapists, pedophile teachers, foreign terrorists, smelly hobos, crazy junkies, craving-to-kill maniacs...
Well, i have the question: if the system tells us if there are so much of bad people around that you better not even bother yourself to try to communicate with strangers (or even those vaguelly familiar, acquainted persons, who we don't know what to expect from them), why for the f*ck's sake there are so much of them, dear system, and why they keep re-appear despite of your so much for a desperate attempt to dispose of them (kill, hide from society's eyes)?! My take is that the race of individual gain is the core source of this terrible problem (to look even deeper - that's the human's egotistic nature is the source of problem)
But we are intelligent just preciselly for that occasion - to modify our egotistic instincts into something useful (i admit - the egoism is what prevents human organisms to simply fall from a cliff and die out, like a bunch of cartoon lemmings... it prevents us, INDIVIDUALS, to survive and being safe. Now, individual egoism won't certainly provide us, as an animal species group, to survive from fallout and burning the ecosystem of our planet - that is the result of civilized Individual egoism..

But what should we do then? I say we have to start transforming our Individual egoism into a Rational Egoism - when power egoism turn us into altruistic helping machines. When each other feels egotistically great, when helping and loving as much people around as they can.
That sounds a bit ideological (or even somewhat religious - in that case i'm sorryl; tbh with you - i don't want neither your money nor houses for granting you promise of salvation P), but it's achievable actually.

Q: Why is starting a conversation with a stranger so terrifying?
A: same as for previous two, i guess



Many-many thanks to Ms. xShadow-of-the-Herox (sorry, not so sure about your real name, sweet heart P) for the raised topic.
It would be good for humankind to ask themselves more often those seems-at-first-glance awkward, but actually the most core questions to themselves at the slightest moment they start to feel something is wrong around them (sadly most of the wealthier people from western countries are just feeling well enough themselves to start asking such questions to themselves... when the person is happy, they aren't asking themselves about meaning of life or any other "how" or "why"
Let me just remind you that happiness should not be achieved at the expense of others misfortune.

Peace to all of compassionate and kind people around the globe.
Greetings to you!
Привет!
Buenos dios!
Kali mera!
Barev tzes!
Bonjour!
Guten Tag!
Buon giorno!

etc. etc. P

Gather yourselves up, good folks, and start making people and world a better place (start with presenting a box of chocolates to a post office clerk... end up with protesting against stupid decisions of corporate/govern blunt power - there are some crazy heads sitting on the chair, but they are a smaller part of society to decide for everyone what is "better for us"... avaaz might probably one of a place for start)

I think I might gonna get troubles in reallity for such expressive critics of what-s-wrong with society.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

kashi16 [2013-09-30 06:04:03 +0000 UTC]

interesting, my bday is in less than a week. I appreciated this. Mind if I memorize this. I'll credit you when I find an event to recite it for. I don't have to use this if you don't want me to but i love this

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TariaRobotnik [2013-09-30 05:14:43 +0000 UTC]

Great and thoughtful observation!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Sugashi [2013-09-30 05:12:56 +0000 UTC]

I 

am

in

LOVE.

How can I not favorite this.

Now your writing has inspired me to share the exact reason why I have favorited this. Welp, here we go.

Well, first of all, I LOVE questions like this. Questions where when I think about them, I end up in a completely different place. A place of wonders, curiosity, and interest. They make me realize that we know nothing about this world, or so close to nothing, that all human awareness made into a solid object would be about a billionth of a size of a germ. Onward to the point, the fact that this is a DD caught my attention, and then the first few lines were just gorgeous to me, so I came over to this awesome piece of literature. Replying to the point you made, in my opinion speaking digitally to a human being is easier than talking face-to-face. Reason being, talking to a stranger in real life would require blurting your replies out (in this case in a conversation), and you never know WHAT you might say when you do that. Speaking through a computer, however, would give you a chance to think twice about what to say. In an addition to that, I'm pretty sure some people fear angering others. If you don't know who the person is, like what their personality is like, you never know what they might do to you. This is why 'trolls' on the internet exist. In reality, they're little 9-year-olds that wouldn't dare say a thing irl. Because, when speaking through a machine to others, they don't know who you are, where you live, and all that personal stuff, therefore, you can't come in contact with them in any way. That kind of sums up my reason for favoriting.

Wooooohmygodmyfingersaretired. I'm gonna sleep now.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

FlyingNinjaCat [2013-09-30 04:11:13 +0000 UTC]

Hiiiiiii!

I came across this from the Daily Deviations. The first lines caught my attention. Aaaaaand the rest was really interesting so I staaaaayed. You make a valid point! I've never experienced this before, but I know many others do. I guess it's because they know what some people may be thinking when they receive a "happy birthday" message from someone they hardly know, perhaps because they themselves have had the same reaction? "Who IS this random person saying happy birthday to me?" I've known a few people like that. They get weirded out. It's weird! It's like people don't believe in the kindness of strangers anymore. =o

Anyway! This is going on my favorites. It was all so beautifully written and well-thought out. To me, it did read a little bit like a poem. It had that nice flow to it and that effectiveness I think poetry should have. =]

Congratulations on the Daily Deviation! ^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

spider123357 [2013-09-30 04:08:22 +0000 UTC]

I say happy birthday to all my deviant art friends and give them 7 pieces of cake a week before their birthday. 

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Im-Sabbo [2013-09-30 03:37:39 +0000 UTC]

I can relate to this, but whenever I avoid saying it, it's because I fear they would take it to mean something more than it does. (...And a couple of times a year, for specific people, when it does mean that little bit more. >_>)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MsGeekNerd [2013-09-30 02:40:52 +0000 UTC]

Happy birthday to your "friend". Why? Because I can!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

KohakuBlah [2013-09-30 01:44:59 +0000 UTC]

I wasn't going to log in today because I have work to do. But for a second I took a break and browsed dA's daily deviations, still not logged in. When I stumbled upon this, though, I HAD to log in. I had to favorite it. I had to comment I had to say something because... I really resonate with this. I've been thinking about this lately. Maybe not about saying "Happy Birthday," but about just talking to someone in general. Sometimes it can just be so damn hard to just talk to someone. On facebook or face to face sometimes it's downright intimidating for no good reason, if I'm honest. You really put my...or our, or your... thoughts into words quite well here. :>

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Iron-Stride-EX [2013-09-30 01:42:29 +0000 UTC]

That's why I don't "friend" anyone I wouldn't dare speak to outside of Facebook... It would be a sham "friend list" otherwise.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

iowaguy1979 [2013-09-30 01:31:03 +0000 UTC]

a very deep and well thought out piece about anonymity, and strangers and how we deal with them.
...that's what I got out of it, anyway. excellent work, it deserves the Daily D accolaide.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

TheGalleryOfEve [2013-09-29 23:55:27 +0000 UTC]

Congratulations on your well-deserved DD!!!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

rinthehuman [2013-09-29 23:52:04 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the observation. I admire your bravery and thoughtfulness.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

werter555 [2013-09-29 23:35:30 +0000 UTC]

In answer to the questions you pose, I offer you this: it is because we have fallen prey to the illusion of separation.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Sherly97 [2013-09-29 23:29:19 +0000 UTC]

I personaly fear this things because of a psychological Problem, but I think that other people are afraid of this because many people don´t trust others, especially strangers. When a old man gives a Little Girl a candy, the parents are afraid that he might kidnap her, and when somebody sees that somebodys birthday is today, he or she is afraid to type those words because they fear that somebody answers somthing rude without a reason. But this is just my opinion and I really like your thoughts about all this. And have fun with the studying. (and sorry for my bad english)

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

AzureCanine [2013-09-29 23:16:31 +0000 UTC]

I think a main reason we are afraid of socialization with strangers now is that we can no longer trust anyone due to a variety of factors, often media.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

PerrinSloop [2013-09-29 23:06:41 +0000 UTC]

Happy birthday and happy life.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

kori-hibana [2013-09-29 23:04:34 +0000 UTC]

thank you for and sharing this observation with us

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

CRMdrummergirl [2013-09-29 22:11:58 +0000 UTC]

well that's the story of my life in a nutshell. Congrats on the well deserved DD. (and, because it just popped into my head, I will add: did i just, by commenting and congratulating you, who I don't even know, wish you happy birthday, in the metaphorical sense)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NemuKK [2013-09-29 21:49:41 +0000 UTC]

This does make me think. I smiled at a couple people today and they just gazed at me like I was some strange... thing? I was simply making a happy or kind gesture and got treated like an outcast. Isn't it terrifying to know people are that unsure about friendliness? I certainly think so.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1