Krianna [2005-05-19 18:43:39 +0000 UTC]
Hmmm, I think you have a good thing going here, nice imagery and even a bit of sound effects... But honestly, for this poem, I think it could have been a lot better without the cliche rhyme scheme. Oh, and do keep the archaic language, if you want, that is, and you might not even edit it ^_^ But I think it sets the mood for your poem, which I happen to like just how it is...
Okay, I just contradicted myself, and happen to be rambling now... Er... I'll stop... Any minute now... Yup... Just gonna stop typing... >.<
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