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Description
Title: His Snotface

Author: XxRazorbladeLovexX

Disclaimer: I don't own Drop Dead Fred...but if I did...haha >

Pairing: Fred/Lizzy

Warning: Cursing and sexual situations

She sat in her bed, knees pulled to her chest, protectively, as she stared at the red haired man in front of her. The man only she could see. His blue eyes were, for once, sincere and caring. He actually looked scared. Fred…scared…he usually laughed at the word. Drop Dead Fred never got scared. Scared was for babies and they were grown ups. It made Lizzy's heart break, seeing him like that. She had just got done telling him exactly what it felt like when she lost him the first time…and she realized that everything was completely true. But Fred…he had grown up, too. No, not physically. She wasn't even sure if he could grow like that…but that was a question to be asked later. He changed…he wasn't his wild, crazy self anymore. Now, he just cared. Lizzy was changing too…actually, she was having a change of heart. All her former feelings for Charles were now focused on her childhood best friend. But, dammit, that wasn't supposed to happen. He was strictly imaginary….however, something deep inside Lizzy told her otherwise. She couldn't help it…it was impossible to avoid him anyways. He was always there…like he was a part of her. He was a part of her…a big part of who she was. She gulped., thinking to herself, "This can't be happening…it can't be…I can't fall for Fred. It's un-normal…weird…wrong. But why? Why can't it work? Well, because I'll be sent to an asylum for having an imaginary boyfriend. But, being in an asylum with Fred all your life wouldn't be that bad…it would be wonderful, even. But how do I know he even sees me that way? He said it himself. 'I don't love you. I don't love anyone. Love is for girls. And girls are DEES-GUS-TING!'" She could hear his loud voice clearly in her head. Somehow, it was sweet to her…but the words hurt. Her face must have shown it, because Fred got an even more worried look, "Snotface? A-are you alright?"

Lizzy nodded, biting her lip.

He didn't look convinced, "No you're not…what's wrong?"

She shook her head, her hair flopping around on her face. "Nothing."

Fred pouted, "You're lying…you can tell me. I don't tell secrets. I'm Fred."

She smiled. He thought so highly of himself. He really was a rather good-looking guy if you got past the crazy red hair that stuck up in every direction and the tacky green suit. But Lizzy didn't care about that stuff. She loved his hair and his outfit…it was Fred. She wouldn't change him for the world. "It's nothing, Fred."

"No…it's something. Tell me!" He whined.

She couldn't. She just couldn't tell him that she had fallen for him. He'd reject her and fake-barf all over the place. It was too much to handle. Love wasn't something Fred was an expert at. For God's sake, he killed a few pigeons, screaming his head off that they had taught her how to "do it." He just wasn't ready. Then again, when would he be?

"You really wanna know?" She asked.

"Yes, I really wanna fuckin' know. Spill." He demanded, playfully.

"I love you…" she declared bluntly. If she had done it any other way, she would have chickened out and said something completely off-topic.

"Love? You LOVE me? " He asked, stunned.

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, preparing for the worst. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes to see a smiling Fred.

"That's it?"

Her shoulders sunk, "What do you mean, 'that's it' ? It took a lot of guts to tell you…"

He shook his head, "Snot…err…Lizzy…I didn't mean it that way. I meant, you didn't have to be scared to tell me."

"What?"

"I love you  too."

"What about 'I don't love anyone. Love is for girls.'?"  Lizzy asked, thoroughly confused and surprised.

"I changed my mind. I can do that, y'know. I'm Fred." He grinned. "No, really, when I was in that damn box all that time, I got to thinking, cause really, there's not much you can do in a box. Anyway, I thought of everyone I had ever been assigned to…as a friend. And you're different, Lizzy. And then, I came out. And God, you were beautiful. Everything hit me, then. Just to why I thought you were so different. I fell for you. I denied it for awhile, thinking how could I be in love with my Snotface? But, that didn't last long. Then I found out you were married and it broke my heart. And I thought, 'Of course she wouldn't love me. I'm imaginary…' so I decided to bug you. But I found out Charlie was cheating on you and taking advantage of my Snotface…and I got pissed. But you seemed so in love. I just wanted you to be happy, so I tried to help. That didn't work out so well. And then, Mickey came in and I got jealous…so jealous. I tried to ruin your date with him, but he acted like an idiot and went along with it…by the way, he wants in your pants and yeah, now we're here."

"Wow…" Lizzy said, hardly believing it all.

"Oh, and that note, yeah, I wrote it. I was going to confess, but I ended up chickening out and signing Charlie's name on it. Then, I figured out it would bring you to where I was and we could be alone…so I was gonna tell you there, but I chickened out again and acted like a dumbass. You have no idea how bad I wanted to kiss you then." Fred blushed.

She tilted her head, "Kiss me? But you're…you know…imaginary."

Fred looked hurt, but poked her. "Can you feel that?"

Lizzy nodded.

"I can touch you, so why can't I kiss you?" Fred asked.

Lizzy shrugged, smiling. "Can you?"

Fred smirked, leaning closer. Lizzy closed the remaining space between them and layed her lips against his. They were soft, and yes, solid. She pulled on his red hair and they deepened the kiss. Their makeout session soon ended when there was a knock on the door. Somehow, they had gotten to a rather suggestive position, where he hovered above her, their legs tangled, and lower bodies meshed together.

"Just a second, mother!" Lizzy called, crawling out from underneath him and straightening her nightgown.

He went to a sitting position and waited for Lizzy to get back from talking to the Mega Bitch. When she finally did, she threw a green pill out the window, smiling.

He looked up at her. "I gotta go back, Lizzy."

Panic overtook her, "What?!"

Fred smiled, "No, not forever. I have…stuff to take care of. I'll be back in a few hours, maybe minutes."

Lizzy nodded and Fred disappeared with the sound of a Jack-In-The-Box.

*Fred POV*

He appeared in a strange white room. All white. There was a desk in the middle and a black chair, where a crazy looking short guy in rainbow sat. "Fred, it's nice to see you. Did Lizzy tire of you?"

Fred shook his head.

"Oh, really? Well, this must be important. You know my rules. Only come to me for new assignment and dire emergencies."

Fred nodded, "Yes sir. This is extremely important. Do you remember Gus?"

"Indeed, I do." The little man crossed his hands like some kind of imaginary Mafia leader.

"Do you remember how he felt about his last assignment?"

The little man nodded.

"Well…I think I've fallen for Lizzy." Fred blushed.

"Oh, Drop Dead Fred is blushing. This must be real, then."

Fred blushed more and nodded again.

"What do you want me to do?" The little man asked.

"Well, is there any way I could be…not imaginary?"

"There is, Fred, but, it's rare that this happens."

"I know."

"What do you want to be?"

"I want to be like her…"

"Human?" The little man asked.

Fred nodded.

"This is very dangerous. You could either come out human, or become gone…forever." The little man explained.

"I know."

"And you're still willing to try?"

He nodded, "I'm Fred…I'll be fine."

"Alright…well, close your eyes."

Fred obeyed, breathing heavily.

The little man placed his hand atop Fred's head, and whispered something unintelligible. Then, he said, "Good luck, Fred. I'll miss you."

A blinding white light overtook his senses and he thought he hadn't made it. But, when he opened his eyes, he was in a bright pink room. Lizzy's room. He heard a gasp and suddenly her face appeared above his. He smiled, "Hi, Snotface."

She kissed him, "Fred…I missed you."

"How long was I gone?"

"An hour." Lizzy blushed, realizing she sounded like a lovesick teenager.

Fred sat up, brushing the hair out of her face and kissing her softly, "I missed you too."

She grinned, kissing him more forcefully, pushing him onto the bed. And soon, they were doing it like the pigeons.

After a rather intense euphoria, they layed there, breathless, grinning.

"Fuck…" Fred said. "Is it really always that good?"

"Yeah…" Lizzy breathed.

"Damn…no wonder pigeons do it all the time."

Lizzy burst into a fit of hysterics. Suddenly, the door opened, revealing her mother. "Lizzy, why are you laugh….WHO IS THIS IN MY HOUSE?!"

Lizzy sat straight up, not bothering to cover herself. "Wait, you can SEE him?"

"OF COURSE I CAN SEE HIM! I can see ALL of him!" She screamed.

Fred smirked. He had to admit, he was pretty hung.

Lizzy beamed. "Mother, this is Drop Dead Fred."

"Do not say his name in my house…wait, what do you mean, this is Drop Dead Fred?"

"I'm Fred, what are you, deaf?" Fred growled.

Polly's eyes grew twice their size, and she fainted.

Fred jumped up and yelled, "HA! MEGA BITCH IS DOWN!"

Lizzy laughed and followed him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I love you  Drop Dead Fred."

He turned around and captured her lips with his own, "I love you too, Snotface."

FIN

Description
Title: His Snotface

Author: XxRazorbladeLovexX

Disclaimer: I don't own Drop Dead Fred...but if I did...haha >

Pairing: Fred/Lizzy

Warning: Cursing and sexual situations

She sat in her bed, knees pulled to her chest, protectively, as she stared at the red haired man in front of her. The man only she could see. His blue eyes were, for once, sincere and caring. He actually looked scared. Fred…scared…he usually laughed at the word. Drop Dead Fred never got scared. Scared was for babies and they were grown ups. It made Lizzy's heart break, seeing him like that. She had just got done telling him exactly what it felt like when she lost him the first time…and she realized that everything was completely true. But Fred…he had grown up, too. No, not physically. She wasn't even sure if he could grow like that…but that was a question to be asked later. He changed…he wasn't his wild, crazy self anymore. Now, he just cared. Lizzy was changing too…actually, she was having a change of heart. All her former feelings for Charles were now focused on her childhood best friend. But, dammit, that wasn't supposed to happen. He was strictly imaginary….however, something deep inside Lizzy told her otherwise. She couldn't help it…it was impossible to avoid him anyways. He was always there…like he was a part of her. He was a part of her…a big part of who she was. She gulped., thinking to herself, "This can't be happening…it can't be…I can't fall for Fred. It's un-normal…weird…wrong. But why? Why can't it work? Well, because I'll be sent to an asylum for having an imaginary boyfriend. But, being in an asylum with Fred all your life wouldn't be that bad…it would be wonderful, even. But how do I know he even sees me that way? He said it himself. 'I don't love you. I don't love anyone. Love is for girls. And girls are DEES-GUS-TING!'" She could hear his loud voice clearly in her head. Somehow, it was sweet to her…but the words hurt. Her face must have shown it, because Fred got an even more worried look, "Snotface? A-are you alright?"

Lizzy nodded, biting her lip.

He didn't look convinced, "No you're not…what's wrong?"

She shook her head, her hair flopping around on her face. "Nothing."

Fred pouted, "You're lying…you can tell me. I don't tell secrets. I'm Fred."

She smiled. He thought so highly of himself. He really was a rather good-looking guy if you got past the crazy red hair that stuck up in every direction and the tacky green suit. But Lizzy didn't care about that stuff. She loved his hair and his outfit…it was Fred. She wouldn't change him for the world. "It's nothing, Fred."

"No…it's something. Tell me!" He whined.

She couldn't. She just couldn't tell him that she had fallen for him. He'd reject her and fake-barf all over the place. It was too much to handle. Love wasn't something Fred was an expert at. For God's sake, he killed a few pigeons, screaming his head off that they had taught her how to "do it." He just wasn't ready. Then again, when would he be?

"You really wanna know?" She asked.

"Yes, I really wanna fuckin' know. Spill." He demanded, playfully.

"I love you…" she declared bluntly. If she had done it any other way, she would have chickened out and said something completely off-topic.

"Love? You LOVE me? " He asked, stunned.

She nodded, squeezing her eyes shut, preparing for the worst. When nothing happened, she opened her eyes to see a smiling Fred.

"That's it?"

Her shoulders sunk, "What do you mean, 'that's it' ? It took a lot of guts to tell you…"

He shook his head, "Snot…err…Lizzy…I didn't mean it that way. I meant, you didn't have to be scared to tell me."

"What?"

"I love you  too."

"What about 'I don't love anyone. Love is for girls.'?"  Lizzy asked, thoroughly confused and surprised.

"I changed my mind. I can do that, y'know. I'm Fred." He grinned. "No, really, when I was in that damn box all that time, I got to thinking, cause really, there's not much you can do in a box. Anyway, I thought of everyone I had ever been assigned to…as a friend. And you're different, Lizzy. And then, I came out. And God, you were beautiful. Everything hit me, then. Just to why I thought you were so different. I fell for you. I denied it for awhile, thinking how could I be in love with my Snotface? But, that didn't last long. Then I found out you were married and it broke my heart. And I thought, 'Of course she wouldn't love me. I'm imaginary…' so I decided to bug you. But I found out Charlie was cheating on you and taking advantage of my Snotface…and I got pissed. But you seemed so in love. I just wanted you to be happy, so I tried to help. That didn't work out so well. And then, Mickey came in and I got jealous…so jealous. I tried to ruin your date with him, but he acted like an idiot and went along with it…by the way, he wants in your pants and yeah, now we're here."

"Wow…" Lizzy said, hardly believing it all.

"Oh, and that note, yeah, I wrote it. I was going to confess, but I ended up chickening out and signing Charlie's name on it. Then, I figured out it would bring you to where I was and we could be alone…so I was gonna tell you there, but I chickened out again and acted like a dumbass. You have no idea how bad I wanted to kiss you then." Fred blushed.

She tilted her head, "Kiss me? But you're…you know…imaginary."

Fred looked hurt, but poked her. "Can you feel that?"

Lizzy nodded.

"I can touch you, so why can't I kiss you?" Fred asked.

Lizzy shrugged, smiling. "Can you?"

Fred smirked, leaning closer. Lizzy closed the remaining space between them and layed her lips against his. They were soft, and yes, solid. She pulled on his red hair and they deepened the kiss. Their makeout session soon ended when there was a knock on the door. Somehow, they had gotten to a rather suggestive position, where he hovered above her, their legs tangled, and lower bodies meshed together.

"Just a second, mother!" Lizzy called, crawling out from underneath him and straightening her nightgown.

He went to a sitting position and waited for Lizzy to get back from talking to the Mega Bitch. When she finally did, she threw a green pill out the window, smiling.

He looked up at her. "I gotta go back, Lizzy."

Panic overtook her, "What?!"

Fred smiled, "No, not forever. I have…stuff to take care of. I'll be back in a few hours, maybe minutes."

Lizzy nodded and Fred disappeared with the sound of a Jack-In-The-Box.

*Fred POV*

He appeared in a strange white room. All white. There was a desk in the middle and a black chair, where a crazy looking short guy in rainbow sat. "Fred, it's nice to see you. Did Lizzy tire of you?"

Fred shook his head.

"Oh, really? Well, this must be important. You know my rules. Only come to me for new assignment and dire emergencies."

Fred nodded, "Yes sir. This is extremely important. Do you remember Gus?"

"Indeed, I do." The little man crossed his hands like some kind of imaginary Mafia leader.

"Do you remember how he felt about his last assignment?"

The little man nodded.

"Well…I think I've fallen for Lizzy." Fred blushed.

"Oh, Drop Dead Fred is blushing. This must be real, then."

Fred blushed more and nodded again.

"What do you want me to do?" The little man asked.

"Well, is there any way I could be…not imaginary?"

"There is, Fred, but, it's rare that this happens."

"I know."

"What do you want to be?"

"I want to be like her…"

"Human?" The little man asked.

Fred nodded.

"This is very dangerous. You could either come out human, or become gone…forever." The little man explained.

"I know."

"And you're still willing to try?"

He nodded, "I'm Fred…I'll be fine."

"Alright…well, close your eyes."

Fred obeyed, breathing heavily.

The little man placed his hand atop Fred's head, and whispered something unintelligible. Then, he said, "Good luck, Fred. I'll miss you."

A blinding white light overtook his senses and he thought he hadn't made it. But, when he opened his eyes, he was in a bright pink room. Lizzy's room. He heard a gasp and suddenly her face appeared above his. He smiled, "Hi, Snotface."

She kissed him, "Fred…I missed you."

"How long was I gone?"

"An hour." Lizzy blushed, realizing she sounded like a lovesick teenager.

Fred sat up, brushing the hair out of her face and kissing her softly, "I missed you too."

She grinned, kissing him more forcefully, pushing him onto the bed. And soon, they were doing it like the pigeons.

After a rather intense euphoria, they layed there, breathless, grinning.

"Fuck…" Fred said. "Is it really always that good?"

"Yeah…" Lizzy breathed.

"Damn…no wonder pigeons do it all the time."

Lizzy burst into a fit of hysterics. Suddenly, the door opened, revealing her mother. "Lizzy, why are you laugh….WHO IS THIS IN MY HOUSE?!"

Lizzy sat straight up, not bothering to cover herself. "Wait, you can SEE him?"

"OF COURSE I CAN SEE HIM! I can see ALL of him!" She screamed.

Fred smirked. He had to admit, he was pretty hung.

Lizzy beamed. "Mother, this is Drop Dead Fred."

"Do not say his name in my house…wait, what do you mean, this is Drop Dead Fred?"

"I'm Fred, what are you, deaf?" Fred growled.

Polly's eyes grew twice their size, and she fainted.

Fred jumped up and yelled, "HA! MEGA BITCH IS DOWN!"

Lizzy laughed and followed him, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. "I love you  Drop Dead Fred."

He turned around and captured her lips with his own, "I love you too, Snotface."

FIN