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Yaoi0Yuri0rules — Dear Edward, From Jacob
Published: 2011-12-20 17:24:50 +0000 UTC; Views: 2097; Favourites: 76; Downloads: 33
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Come on people, think!Related content
Comments: 46
Now don't get me wrong, I don't like Twilight. But...
BURN
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BURN! When Bella got knocked up I immediately thought two things: 1-how can Edward even get it up? He's a vampire. No heart beat = no pulse = no wood. And 2- (said in Maury's voice) Edward, you are NOT the father!
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Edward's response:
Dear Jacob,
FUCK LOGIC IM A GODDAMN FAIRY!
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... my question was always what happens to edward when Bella gets her monthly gift from mother nature and that too
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Not only that, but since they don't age, don't mature and the females can't get pregnant, how did Edward, um....produce anything in the first place? XD!!! He couldn't have!
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Yes, females can. The explanation is on the book...
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but blood flows everywhere how can Edward move at all?
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le gasp!! You are right!! Even if someone was a vampire, they could not move!! . . . I better go tell my friend that (she be-eth a vampire) lol.
That's actually a good point. Thanks! ^_^
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I think that the venom continuly flows through vampires like blood does
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that makes sense
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your welcome
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Hmmmmm good point. If you are dead your blood does not flow thus you cannot get an erection. Blood flows to that area and when you are dead blood does not flow. Science is epic but Twilight sucks.
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I've asked myself the same thing. It's kind of sad that's not one of the most messed up things in the, dare I say, book.
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A very good point!
But honestly, that question is just too sordid for my brain to dwell on it, even for me, and I've read books that have more "fucks" in one page that I could ever write in a whole book, and liked them (i.e. Joe Abemcrombie's First Law)! No, I'm sorry, but I'm afraid that if I start to think about tjis question, I'm just going to come up with scenarios of Bella raping poor unsuspecting men and sucking their inteligence and souls from their mouth. Sorry.
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Lol I think her father is sieriously either Seth or some poor guy raped by the Bella.
Information:
the Bella is a lazy stupid creature that feeds off your smartness and makes you as stupid as it and is usually mated with a sparkly ass wimp vampire creating a parasite offspring be aware of these creatures have your Anti-bella with you at all times and they will be warded.
Symptoms:
Breathing heavily like a fish.
Looking stupid and dumb all times.
Mouth hanging open breathing.
And have clumsiness.
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My sister said the same thing to me a while ago. Poor Edward...
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AJ: lol that is so wrong! I shouldn't laughing but oh well!!!
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Actually, fresh male corpses can get an erection and impregnate women. That and some vampires are alive.
However, Twilight vampires are not alive, which means Bella is a necrophiliac, and might need rubber bands to keep Edward up, depending on how 'fresh' he is.
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Or maybe a splint-type deal? Or maybe they have a pulley-system.
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Possibly, but I've read rubber bands and tons of vigorous foreplay on a VERY fresh corpse (You get weird trivia in researching pathological forensics).
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Seriously, I thought that when I read Breaking Dawn.
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haha and I get it if i didnt even read the books and only watched 2 movies and im like im not going to bother seeing the new on it looks terrible and i watched a review and the guy drank and he isnt a drinker it was funny but really sad
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