Comments: 13
ChaosCreator001 [2012-01-31 16:40:05 +0000 UTC]
also, you should make spencer and Leo fight! haha!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ChaosCreator001 In reply to yayleo [2012-02-01 02:01:31 +0000 UTC]
^^ yea, so who's all in you're story/gonna be in it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ChaosCreator001 In reply to yayleo [2012-02-02 02:36:35 +0000 UTC]
...ok then! ^^' and what do you mean as fishy?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yayleo In reply to ChaosCreator001 [2012-02-02 04:10:13 +0000 UTC]
mintyfishbowl. that's my lame little nickname for him.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yayleo In reply to yayleo [2012-02-01 02:10:16 +0000 UTC]
Leo will be the main focus of the story, in case your wondering. I know it's in third person point of view, but it's mainly gonna be about him, with brief moments of Aeris, Ronny, Shawn and Ashley being in the spotlight.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
LtLink [2012-01-19 02:16:40 +0000 UTC]
i do like the way this is going. alot more to it. paints a picture in my head. i hope to see ALOT more from you! keep it up!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ChaosCreator001 [2012-01-18 22:14:08 +0000 UTC]
nice, sounds like the story's got something going on!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
MintyFishbowl [2012-01-18 21:11:29 +0000 UTC]
This is a very well-executed start. The detail is nice, and almost never feels as though there's too much or not enough. I also enjoy the interactions between Leo and his other friends, but it would be nice to get some explanation as to how Leo knows Ronny, Ashley, and Shawn in the first place. Also, make sure to give the Fancharacters some personalities of their own too.
However, it is pretty short. If you're using the idea of Aeris' date never arriving, then it probably would've been possible to just fit that into this chapter. It would make the beginning chapter more interesting and intriguing to the reader.
But with that said, this is still a good way to begin. I'll make sure to keep up with it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
yayleo In reply to MintyFishbowl [2012-01-18 22:19:04 +0000 UTC]
lol. Preview dude. Preview. the rest will be uploaded by the end of the week.
I will go into detail on how everyone met. Leo and Aeris will have the default of meeting in elementary school, but they meet Ronny and early on in middle school, Ashley too, then Shawn near the end, in grade 9 I'm thinking.
I'll definitely go into detail on each of their backstories after a few chapters of How Do You Know and when I write up profiles for everyone.
You'll see character development slowly in each chapter, with one being the exception. I'm planning on making this one HUGE story dude, like, probably one of the biggest ones on here. It's gonna spand 10 and a half MONTHS. You'll be able to see all my OC's grow in due time. Trust me.
Glad to hear to hear you'll stay up to date with it! thanks for that!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
yayleo [2012-01-18 06:19:04 +0000 UTC]
Why is everything italicized!?!?
👍: 0 ⏩: 0