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Description

Wish I was Free

(A/N: Here is Chapter 1 of ‘Ksh, I’m broken’ light language, possible OOC.)

(Music)

-Corliss’s POV-

After a day’s worth of waiting, a list of those who passed the balance test was posted in the mess hall. Christa informed me that I was at the top of the list, then dragged me and my apple over to her table. I growled at Sasha when I saw her pleading expression, scowled right back at Ymir, and gave Connie a blank stare.

“Engel, why did you bring me over here? You know I like to eat alone.”

“Oh, kitty are you upset?! I’m sorry! You can leave if you want!” I nodded my thanks and drifed through the throng of trainees to get to my table, only to find that Annie girl from yesterday sitting there with her tray of food. She gave me a nod, her newly healed face blank. I nodded back and we both proceeded to eat silently. Until Reiner Braun and Bertolt Hoover decided to pester Annie and myself. Bertolt sat next to Annie and Reiner sat uncomfortably close to me. I threw a leg over the bench so I was straddling it and facing him, before taking another bite out of my light breakfast. Bertholt was speaking softly to Annie and Reiner was leering at me. I finished my apple, and in the process of getting up, knocked Reiner off the bench with a kick to the head. Oops. I smirked behind my hair as I walked out of the mess hall to the training grounds, looking for a tree I could climb. Ah, here we go. I effortlessly climbed my way up to a forked branch I could lay across and sleep. Close enough to the training grounds that even if I fall asleep, when the bell rings I’ll be able to get there on time. I relaxed and went over a few memories from my time before the military while drifting into a light sleep.

-Dream-

I was skipping home from the market with my tiny seven year old legs, happy because the candy vendor’s husband had snuck me a small bag of candy for only a few coins. But when I arrived home, it was too quiet. I walked inside, and my first sight was my father’s body, all twisted and bloody. The smell of that blood, it was tantalizing. I made my way further into our little home, fighting down laughter, hysterical, insane laughter. Up in my mother’s room, I could hear voices. I opened the door silently and was greeted with the image of my mother tied to the bed with men in a semi circle around her. She was battered and bruised, but alive. I moved out of the room to the secret trapdoor I wasn’t supposed to know about. I pulled out a machete and a small revolver. I checked the sharpness on my thumb and made sure the gun had all six bullets loaded. I made my way back to my mother’s room and could hear screams from the staircase. This time, the door was closed all the way. So I used my above-average strength to kick it open. The men inside all looked around to meet my steely eyes and gun barrel. I quickly aimed and shot at the one nearest my mother, moving from closest to farthest one after the other. Headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, click. One man left. I tossed the gun aside and pulled out my machete, I ran towards the last man silently, a fighting grin now stretched across my face, insane giggles coming from my throat. I wasn’t very tall, so I aimed for the artery in his thigh. He seemed to be frozen in fear, too bad for him. I made a cut in his left thigh, severing his artery and a few major tendons. He fell to the ground and my crazed laughter only got louder when his blood sprayed all over me. I licked it away whenever it got close enough, and I licked it off the blade of my machete, I licked my hands clean. I drank his blood after killing him and it felt oh, so good. My hysteria died down and I remembered my mother was tied to her bed. She was battered, bruised, and now horrified by her daughter. I cut her free with my machete and then threw it away from myself. I couldn’t trust myself with weapons. My mother held me while I screamed and laughed about how pretty the dead bodies were. My hair fell over my face and I left it that way, hide the killer’s face. My mother passed away from blood loss, an injury I didn’t notice in her wrist killed her because it didn’t receive immediate teatment. The Military Police medics told me that she was probably dying before I even got home. I couldn’t stop laughing, the blood was so pretty in splatters all over the house, I loved it like the sick freak I am. I lived on the streets until I turned the proper age to join the military, and then I joined so I could get outside the walls, away from all the people.

Away from the temptation and the madness.

-Armin’s POV-

I watched Corliss kick Reiner off her bench after he checked her out, and had to stifle laughter. She made her way outside with a nod to Annie, whose face was fully healed. I finished my breakfast and waited for Mikasa and Eren so we could go to the training grounds together. I saw Corliss fall out of a tree just to land on her feet at the exact moment the bell rang. She ran from her tree to her place in line, just as Shadis came from the command building. He yelled out our instructions like everything he says, loud and insulting.

“ALRIGHT MAGGOTS! TODAY YOU WILL BE WORKING ON BALANCING IF YOU DIDN’T SUCCEED YESTERDAY, THE REST OF YOU WILL BE BRUSHING UP ON YOUR HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT SKILLS! THOSE OF YOU WHO DID NOT SUCCEED YESTERDAY, TO THE BALANCE MECHANISM! THE REST, HERE ARE YOUR PAIRINGS FOR TODAY.” He waited for Eren and a couple others to leave for the balancing mechanisms before continuing.

“ANNIE AND JEAN. MARCO AND REINER. MIKASA AND BERTOLT. ARMIN AND CORLISS…” I tuned out after my name was called. He finished assigning pairs, gave instructions to get the dagger,and then he left to supervise those still working on balance (*cough cough* Eren *cough*). I found Corliss stretching and cracking her joints. I stretched but didn’t understand how to crack that many joints, so I just left it at stretching. Both of us had a dagger. I got into a shaky stance, and she just stood there with her dagger in a loose grip by her side. I looked at her, unsure, and she nodded. I attacked with a great deal of hesitance, and she didn’t move until we were almost touching. She simply shifted a few inches to one side faster than the blink of an eye, and my pathetic strike hit empty air. She was behind me now, in the time it had aken me to process what happened she made her way to a spot a few feet behind me. I turned around only to see her speeding towards me. I flew backwards when she planted a kick firmly into my stomach. I felt the wooden knife fly out of my hand as I went the opposite direction. I landed on my back, but quickly got onto my hands and knees to vomit. That hurts, a lot. She snatched my knife from the ground, tucked it into one of the straps on her hips like a holster, then closed in on my weakened form. I flinched when she reached out a hand, but when no blow descended I opened my eyes. She was leaned over with her hand outstretched for me to take. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and put the opposite hand into her long fingered one. She pulled me up, but didn’t let go of me. She moved her grip up my arm to my wrist so she could sling my arm across her shoulders. I was glad for the support, because I really didn’t trust my legs. She walked past the other pairs, dragging me by the arm around her shoulders. She defeated me effortlessly with just one strike. I’m pathetic, but it usually takes a few hits to down me. And her speed… it’s beyond human almost. She dragged me towards the infirmary and dropped me off in a bed before going into the office and informing the nurse on duty. She moved to sit by my bedside, motionless, while the nurse gave me some painkillers and made sure there was no internal damage. The nurse bandaged my few lacerations from falling on the ground before telling Corliss to bring me back to my quarters for the day.

“Don’t forget to give him the proper amount of painkillers every two hours.” Corliss nodded, and then lifted me from the bed I was on and carried me bridal style down the hall. I squeaked when she put my feet on the ground to open the door to my dorm room. I vaguely remember giving her directions. I was incredibly tired, must have been something in that medicine.

“Lo siento, I should have been more careful with you, mouse. Rest up, I will bring you dinner when it’s time.” She turned to leave after depositing me on my bed, but I summoned the last of my strength to grab the sleeve of her jacket.

“Stay with me?” I managed to say in a whisper. She brushed her hair back, showing her confused expression and beautiful face. She lowered her hand and her face was covered again, but she did drag a chair over and sit on it backwards, facing me over the backrest. I felt safe for the first time in a while, before I fell into sleep.

-Corliss’s POV-

He fell asleep the instant I had settled on my chair, so I reached over to his bedside table for one of the many books he kept there. The particular one I grabbed was about plants that used to grow in this area before the wall. There were a few flowers I could remember from my mother’s garden back when I was little and happy. By the time the bell rang to signal the beginning of dinner, I had read all the books on Armin’s nightstand, given him two rounds of painkillers, and taken a nap. But when the bell rang, I got up to stretch every muscle that had grown stiff from staying in one place so long. I was humming the tune to my song as I stretched myself back to total flexibility. I finished just in time for Armin to wake up and look at me.

“Hey there mouse, you feeling up for dinner? If not I could bring you something.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes sleepily. So. Freaking. Cute. Squeee!!! Calm. The fuck. Down Corliss. After he finished blowing out my cuteness receptors, he got up and stratched a bit before pulling his boots on.

“I feel a lot better, we can go to the mess hall.” We walked in together and received a few stares before I walked outside by myself. What am I thinking? It can’t possibly happen. I am a sick, insane, sadistic freak that Erwin has to literally put a leash on. He couldn’t feel the same. The moon was just peeking over the wall in the distance, and I could hear my brothers and sisters outside communicating while they ran free. I am so glad I can see through your eyes my friends, it’s almost as good as being free myself. I wanted so badly to run free, like the wolves outside the walls, have a pack and fresh blood when I wanted it. I jumped up into a tree and tried to fall asleep, but the moon kept making noise in my head. It told me that I could never be free, Erwin controls me so I am not free. Armin makes me feel free. Why can’t I just be free? Freedom used to be there waiting for me, but now I’ve been broken in. Domesticated, how long has it been since I hunted? Almost two years? No more like three.

I wish…

I was free.

Description

Wish I was Free

(A/N: Here is Chapter 1 of ‘Ksh, I’m broken’ light language, possible OOC.)

(Music)

-Corliss’s POV-

After a day’s worth of waiting, a list of those who passed the balance test was posted in the mess hall. Christa informed me that I was at the top of the list, then dragged me and my apple over to her table. I growled at Sasha when I saw her pleading expression, scowled right back at Ymir, and gave Connie a blank stare.

“Engel, why did you bring me over here? You know I like to eat alone.”

“Oh, kitty are you upset?! I’m sorry! You can leave if you want!” I nodded my thanks and drifed through the throng of trainees to get to my table, only to find that Annie girl from yesterday sitting there with her tray of food. She gave me a nod, her newly healed face blank. I nodded back and we both proceeded to eat silently. Until Reiner Braun and Bertolt Hoover decided to pester Annie and myself. Bertolt sat next to Annie and Reiner sat uncomfortably close to me. I threw a leg over the bench so I was straddling it and facing him, before taking another bite out of my light breakfast. Bertholt was speaking softly to Annie and Reiner was leering at me. I finished my apple, and in the process of getting up, knocked Reiner off the bench with a kick to the head. Oops. I smirked behind my hair as I walked out of the mess hall to the training grounds, looking for a tree I could climb. Ah, here we go. I effortlessly climbed my way up to a forked branch I could lay across and sleep. Close enough to the training grounds that even if I fall asleep, when the bell rings I’ll be able to get there on time. I relaxed and went over a few memories from my time before the military while drifting into a light sleep.

-Dream-

I was skipping home from the market with my tiny seven year old legs, happy because the candy vendor’s husband had snuck me a small bag of candy for only a few coins. But when I arrived home, it was too quiet. I walked inside, and my first sight was my father’s body, all twisted and bloody. The smell of that blood, it was tantalizing. I made my way further into our little home, fighting down laughter, hysterical, insane laughter. Up in my mother’s room, I could hear voices. I opened the door silently and was greeted with the image of my mother tied to the bed with men in a semi circle around her. She was battered and bruised, but alive. I moved out of the room to the secret trapdoor I wasn’t supposed to know about. I pulled out a machete and a small revolver. I checked the sharpness on my thumb and made sure the gun had all six bullets loaded. I made my way back to my mother’s room and could hear screams from the staircase. This time, the door was closed all the way. So I used my above-average strength to kick it open. The men inside all looked around to meet my steely eyes and gun barrel. I quickly aimed and shot at the one nearest my mother, moving from closest to farthest one after the other. Headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, headshot, click. One man left. I tossed the gun aside and pulled out my machete, I ran towards the last man silently, a fighting grin now stretched across my face, insane giggles coming from my throat. I wasn’t very tall, so I aimed for the artery in his thigh. He seemed to be frozen in fear, too bad for him. I made a cut in his left thigh, severing his artery and a few major tendons. He fell to the ground and my crazed laughter only got louder when his blood sprayed all over me. I licked it away whenever it got close enough, and I licked it off the blade of my machete, I licked my hands clean. I drank his blood after killing him and it felt oh, so good. My hysteria died down and I remembered my mother was tied to her bed. She was battered, bruised, and now horrified by her daughter. I cut her free with my machete and then threw it away from myself. I couldn’t trust myself with weapons. My mother held me while I screamed and laughed about how pretty the dead bodies were. My hair fell over my face and I left it that way, hide the killer’s face. My mother passed away from blood loss, an injury I didn’t notice in her wrist killed her because it didn’t receive immediate teatment. The Military Police medics told me that she was probably dying before I even got home. I couldn’t stop laughing, the blood was so pretty in splatters all over the house, I loved it like the sick freak I am. I lived on the streets until I turned the proper age to join the military, and then I joined so I could get outside the walls, away from all the people.

Away from the temptation and the madness.

-Armin’s POV-

I watched Corliss kick Reiner off her bench after he checked her out, and had to stifle laughter. She made her way outside with a nod to Annie, whose face was fully healed. I finished my breakfast and waited for Mikasa and Eren so we could go to the training grounds together. I saw Corliss fall out of a tree just to land on her feet at the exact moment the bell rang. She ran from her tree to her place in line, just as Shadis came from the command building. He yelled out our instructions like everything he says, loud and insulting.

“ALRIGHT MAGGOTS! TODAY YOU WILL BE WORKING ON BALANCING IF YOU DIDN’T SUCCEED YESTERDAY, THE REST OF YOU WILL BE BRUSHING UP ON YOUR HAND-TO-HAND COMBAT SKILLS! THOSE OF YOU WHO DID NOT SUCCEED YESTERDAY, TO THE BALANCE MECHANISM! THE REST, HERE ARE YOUR PAIRINGS FOR TODAY.” He waited for Eren and a couple others to leave for the balancing mechanisms before continuing.

“ANNIE AND JEAN. MARCO AND REINER. MIKASA AND BERTOLT. ARMIN AND CORLISS…” I tuned out after my name was called. He finished assigning pairs, gave instructions to get the dagger,and then he left to supervise those still working on balance (*cough cough* Eren *cough*). I found Corliss stretching and cracking her joints. I stretched but didn’t understand how to crack that many joints, so I just left it at stretching. Both of us had a dagger. I got into a shaky stance, and she just stood there with her dagger in a loose grip by her side. I looked at her, unsure, and she nodded. I attacked with a great deal of hesitance, and she didn’t move until we were almost touching. She simply shifted a few inches to one side faster than the blink of an eye, and my pathetic strike hit empty air. She was behind me now, in the time it had aken me to process what happened she made her way to a spot a few feet behind me. I turned around only to see her speeding towards me. I flew backwards when she planted a kick firmly into my stomach. I felt the wooden knife fly out of my hand as I went the opposite direction. I landed on my back, but quickly got onto my hands and knees to vomit. That hurts, a lot. She snatched my knife from the ground, tucked it into one of the straps on her hips like a holster, then closed in on my weakened form. I flinched when she reached out a hand, but when no blow descended I opened my eyes. She was leaned over with her hand outstretched for me to take. I wiped my mouth on my sleeve and put the opposite hand into her long fingered one. She pulled me up, but didn’t let go of me. She moved her grip up my arm to my wrist so she could sling my arm across her shoulders. I was glad for the support, because I really didn’t trust my legs. She walked past the other pairs, dragging me by the arm around her shoulders. She defeated me effortlessly with just one strike. I’m pathetic, but it usually takes a few hits to down me. And her speed… it’s beyond human almost. She dragged me towards the infirmary and dropped me off in a bed before going into the office and informing the nurse on duty. She moved to sit by my bedside, motionless, while the nurse gave me some painkillers and made sure there was no internal damage. The nurse bandaged my few lacerations from falling on the ground before telling Corliss to bring me back to my quarters for the day.

“Don’t forget to give him the proper amount of painkillers every two hours.” Corliss nodded, and then lifted me from the bed I was on and carried me bridal style down the hall. I squeaked when she put my feet on the ground to open the door to my dorm room. I vaguely remember giving her directions. I was incredibly tired, must have been something in that medicine.

“Lo siento, I should have been more careful with you, mouse. Rest up, I will bring you dinner when it’s time.” She turned to leave after depositing me on my bed, but I summoned the last of my strength to grab the sleeve of her jacket.

“Stay with me?” I managed to say in a whisper. She brushed her hair back, showing her confused expression and beautiful face. She lowered her hand and her face was covered again, but she did drag a chair over and sit on it backwards, facing me over the backrest. I felt safe for the first time in a while, before I fell into sleep.

-Corliss’s POV-

He fell asleep the instant I had settled on my chair, so I reached over to his bedside table for one of the many books he kept there. The particular one I grabbed was about plants that used to grow in this area before the wall. There were a few flowers I could remember from my mother’s garden back when I was little and happy. By the time the bell rang to signal the beginning of dinner, I had read all the books on Armin’s nightstand, given him two rounds of painkillers, and taken a nap. But when the bell rang, I got up to stretch every muscle that had grown stiff from staying in one place so long. I was humming the tune to my song as I stretched myself back to total flexibility. I finished just in time for Armin to wake up and look at me.

“Hey there mouse, you feeling up for dinner? If not I could bring you something.” He shook his head and rubbed his eyes sleepily. So. Freaking. Cute. Squeee!!! Calm. The fuck. Down Corliss. After he finished blowing out my cuteness receptors, he got up and stratched a bit before pulling his boots on.

“I feel a lot better, we can go to the mess hall.” We walked in together and received a few stares before I walked outside by myself. What am I thinking? It can’t possibly happen. I am a sick, insane, sadistic freak that Erwin has to literally put a leash on. He couldn’t feel the same. The moon was just peeking over the wall in the distance, and I could hear my brothers and sisters outside communicating while they ran free. I am so glad I can see through your eyes my friends, it’s almost as good as being free myself. I wanted so badly to run free, like the wolves outside the walls, have a pack and fresh blood when I wanted it. I jumped up into a tree and tried to fall asleep, but the moon kept making noise in my head. It told me that I could never be free, Erwin controls me so I am not free. Armin makes me feel free. Why can’t I just be free? Freedom used to be there waiting for me, but now I’ve been broken in. Domesticated, how long has it been since I hunted? Almost two years? No more like three.

I wish…

I was free.