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Once upon a time there was a princess named Lauren who was born with a cleft ear--

“What do you mean, cleft ear?!” she protested, though finding it very amusing. That had to have taken some imagination to come up with.

“It’s self explanatory!” he exclaimed. “Now are you going to let me get on with the story?”

“Yessir.” she replied, silencing herself instantly.

Her parents decided that she was ugly and sent her away to an abandoned island. She lived there for many years until her parents realized that they had no other heir to the throne.

So they decided that they would create a large money reward for the man who was brave enough to marry princess Lauren. A knight in shining armor named Stephen (At this line, her heart skipped a beat.) decided that he could use the money; he and his noble steed set off galloping across the country side. They galloped for a while before they remembered that she was on an island in the middle of the ocean.

Stephen and his pony started to swim across the ocean of jello.

“An ocean of jello? That’s ridiculous!” she gasped through her laughter. This story had been well worth the wait; she could tell that she was going to have a nice night’s sleep after this.

“Shhh! Do you want me to stop telling you the story right now? I’ll do it.” he threatens, though only jesting.

“Go on.”

Before long, they became stuck and started to sink into the ocean of jello. As we all know, jello can suffocate you. Just as all hope was lost, Stephen remembered that princess Lauren needed his help. After all, if he didn’t marry her, who would? With a surge of determination, he and his noble steed began to eat the jello.

It took three hours, twenty-nine minutes, and twelve seconds for the knight and his pony to finish eating the ocean of jello. When they finished, they began to walk across the sea-floor until they reached the island. Finally, they found the clerk and asked where princess Lauren was being kept.

“Wasn’t Princess Lauren on an abandoned island though?” she inquired skeptically.

“What’s your point?” he states bluntly.

“Well, everyone knows that abandoned islands don’t really have a lot of people on them…” she trails off.

“Everyone knows that abandoned islands have clerks, though. How does the knight find the princess otherwise?”

“He and his noble steed-”

“Hey -- who’s telling the story?” he cuts her off.

“You.”

“Very good. Now what does that mean?”

“I’m supposed to listen.”

“And?”

“Not speak.”

“Very good. Now I’m going to continue.” he resumes telling the story and she listens eagerly.

The clerk responded that she was kept in a tall tower (because towers are tall), but the door was locked. Fortunately for them, however, the key was located in the stomach of the turkey they were eating for dinner.

Upon hearing this, Stephen considers just giving up. He comes to the conclusion that he had come too far to turn back now. Even though he and his noble steed had stomachs full of jello, they sat down to eat the turkey dinner and retrieved the key. The clerk gave them directions on how to reach the tower, so they set off.

Because princess Lauren’s tower is very tall, they were able to burn off all of their fat while climbing the stairs. After what seemed like eons, they reached the top. Stephen, the knight in shining armor, then pulled the key out of his pocket. He tried the key, but it didn’t work.

Inside the room, he could hear princess Lauren singing emo songs--

“Emo songs! Don’t make fun of me!” she bursts out in protest, though not offended at all.

“You sing emo songs.” he reminds her.

“Yes, but you’re making fun of me now.”

“It’s all in good humor, I assure you.” he dismisses her comment and starts to continue with the tale.

“But you said that you have bad humor! And you do!” she cuts in before he can finish a single word.

“This is good humor, though. Now hush.”

He couldn’t let this continue -- she must really need help -- so he busts open the door. Princess Lauren stopped singing emo songs and her cleft ear had magically vanished!

“I didn’t know that cleft ears could just go away.” she remarks.

“They can’t.” he replies dryly.

“But then how did Princess Lauren’s cleft ear go away?”

“It’s a fairy tale, I can do whatever I want. Be quiet and let me finish now!”

“Yessir.”

She, Stephen, and his pony returned to her parent’s house. They were shocked at how brave Stephen (She rolled her eyes at this part.) was and gave him the money reward. However, they were more surprised that princess Lauren’s cleft ear had disappeared. And they lived happily ever after, the end.

“Did they really live happily ever after?” she pressed further.

“Of course! It’s a fairy tale after all. Everyone lives happily ever after.”

Description
Once upon a time there was a princess named Lauren who was born with a cleft ear--

“What do you mean, cleft ear?!” she protested, though finding it very amusing. That had to have taken some imagination to come up with.

“It’s self explanatory!” he exclaimed. “Now are you going to let me get on with the story?”

“Yessir.” she replied, silencing herself instantly.

Her parents decided that she was ugly and sent her away to an abandoned island. She lived there for many years until her parents realized that they had no other heir to the throne.

So they decided that they would create a large money reward for the man who was brave enough to marry princess Lauren. A knight in shining armor named Stephen (At this line, her heart skipped a beat.) decided that he could use the money; he and his noble steed set off galloping across the country side. They galloped for a while before they remembered that she was on an island in the middle of the ocean.

Stephen and his pony started to swim across the ocean of jello.

“An ocean of jello? That’s ridiculous!” she gasped through her laughter. This story had been well worth the wait; she could tell that she was going to have a nice night’s sleep after this.

“Shhh! Do you want me to stop telling you the story right now? I’ll do it.” he threatens, though only jesting.

“Go on.”

Before long, they became stuck and started to sink into the ocean of jello. As we all know, jello can suffocate you. Just as all hope was lost, Stephen remembered that princess Lauren needed his help. After all, if he didn’t marry her, who would? With a surge of determination, he and his noble steed began to eat the jello.

It took three hours, twenty-nine minutes, and twelve seconds for the knight and his pony to finish eating the ocean of jello. When they finished, they began to walk across the sea-floor until they reached the island. Finally, they found the clerk and asked where princess Lauren was being kept.

“Wasn’t Princess Lauren on an abandoned island though?” she inquired skeptically.

“What’s your point?” he states bluntly.

“Well, everyone knows that abandoned islands don’t really have a lot of people on them…” she trails off.

“Everyone knows that abandoned islands have clerks, though. How does the knight find the princess otherwise?”

“He and his noble steed-”

“Hey -- who’s telling the story?” he cuts her off.

“You.”

“Very good. Now what does that mean?”

“I’m supposed to listen.”

“And?”

“Not speak.”

“Very good. Now I’m going to continue.” he resumes telling the story and she listens eagerly.

The clerk responded that she was kept in a tall tower (because towers are tall), but the door was locked. Fortunately for them, however, the key was located in the stomach of the turkey they were eating for dinner.

Upon hearing this, Stephen considers just giving up. He comes to the conclusion that he had come too far to turn back now. Even though he and his noble steed had stomachs full of jello, they sat down to eat the turkey dinner and retrieved the key. The clerk gave them directions on how to reach the tower, so they set off.

Because princess Lauren’s tower is very tall, they were able to burn off all of their fat while climbing the stairs. After what seemed like eons, they reached the top. Stephen, the knight in shining armor, then pulled the key out of his pocket. He tried the key, but it didn’t work.

Inside the room, he could hear princess Lauren singing emo songs--

“Emo songs! Don’t make fun of me!” she bursts out in protest, though not offended at all.

“You sing emo songs.” he reminds her.

“Yes, but you’re making fun of me now.”

“It’s all in good humor, I assure you.” he dismisses her comment and starts to continue with the tale.

“But you said that you have bad humor! And you do!” she cuts in before he can finish a single word.

“This is good humor, though. Now hush.”

He couldn’t let this continue -- she must really need help -- so he busts open the door. Princess Lauren stopped singing emo songs and her cleft ear had magically vanished!

“I didn’t know that cleft ears could just go away.” she remarks.

“They can’t.” he replies dryly.

“But then how did Princess Lauren’s cleft ear go away?”

“It’s a fairy tale, I can do whatever I want. Be quiet and let me finish now!”

“Yessir.”

She, Stephen, and his pony returned to her parent’s house. They were shocked at how brave Stephen (She rolled her eyes at this part.) was and gave him the money reward. However, they were more surprised that princess Lauren’s cleft ear had disappeared. And they lived happily ever after, the end.

“Did they really live happily ever after?” she pressed further.

“Of course! It’s a fairy tale after all. Everyone lives happily ever after.”