Comments: 16
Trava [2005-11-15 20:35:45 +0000 UTC]
"I see as a necessary evil. I have to write, though." -If you see it as necessary, why add the "though"? It doesn't seem right, to me. Awkward. It is contradictory.
A nice job, though it seems terribly rushed and muddled together. Almost as if there's so much going on, that no definitive meaning and impression can escape. Bravo, despite.
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Zekio In reply to Trava [2005-11-17 04:51:24 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, a bit muddled, I agree, though I think that helps the tone of the idea of a writer frantically working to get an idea out before it kills him. That effect probably got lost, though.
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Kirjailija [2005-11-15 19:46:45 +0000 UTC]
...*fav* thats really all I can say. This was brilliant. Incredible personification, and very well written!
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Kirjailija In reply to Zekio [2005-11-17 20:19:15 +0000 UTC]
You're very welcome!
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Zekio In reply to JL-Miller [2005-11-14 04:22:01 +0000 UTC]
Thank you.
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YouThiefofLove [2005-11-11 23:51:00 +0000 UTC]
It's good. A little vague, I think it needs a little more description here and there. But I like the overall idea.
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Zekio In reply to YouThiefofLove [2005-11-14 04:25:47 +0000 UTC]
Thank you. And, yeah, it was a bit rushed at times, so I lost some detail.
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demonlight [2005-11-11 23:20:12 +0000 UTC]
I hate unnatural late - typo - 'light'.
The soft glow from the computer screen, however I see as a necessary evil - The grammar here is a bit messed up. You don't really need the comma or the 'however' - that strikes me as being filler.
You do need to go through this and even out the language; there is some repetition that seems unecessary, and some of the grammar is inconsistent.
Hah - meta-literature. I've experimented with that lately as well. I suppose you're describing the obsessive urge to create and complete. It doesn't sound like my experience, but that doesn't mean it's any less valid. This is fine as far as it goes, but it's very much a small, concept snapshot, and as such, is limited.
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Zekio In reply to demonlight [2005-11-14 04:29:39 +0000 UTC]
Thank you for the typo fixes, and you are correct about what I'm describing. And yeah, it is rather limited based on how small of snapshot it is, but I can't see myself expanding it.
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Podkayne In reply to Zekio [2005-11-15 00:37:07 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome. ^_^
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Webcomiker [2005-11-11 22:59:12 +0000 UTC]
wow. i like it. its very good. has a nice, dark feel to it. kinda makes me think that poe must have felt like that, staying up late at night, working on the type writer, trying to get all of his twisted thoughts out before they could get him, haunt him when he tried to sleep... wow. im scaring myself. *nervous chuckle* im never gonna get on the computer late at night again...
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