Description
[Orange-Earth/Vendetta/ Earth Tribe Camp]
She wasn't sure what to feel. The death of Ross, a good friend, who had accepted her for all her strengths and weaknesses, even tried to show her how to hunt, startled her. She wasn't sure how to take it or what to make of it. The death of their leader, Zaeli, and tribe mate, Yossarian, hadn't made it any easier. She had know Zaeli, visited her while she was sick. The cat hadn't appreciated her stutter but appreciated her generosity and kindness. Vendetta even thought she was getting better. However, she died. She died in her sleep. Perhaps that was a peaceful, easy way to go, but it still left her feeling.... empty.
What made her feel even more so was Yossarian's death. She hadn't known him, but now she no longer had the chance to know him, and that revelation scared her. How many cats would she no longer get to meet? How many more would die? Ross.... Zaeli, you didn't deserve to die. Why did you die? Maybe if I had done something different. Something..... She curled up in a ball, under a rock, in depression. She had dug a deep burrow of sorts under one of the large boulders, remnants from creating or recreating the mine in the new territory. The original purpose was to hide, to avoid cats until her guard shift came up, but it now served a new purpose. The rock now hid her tears from the rest of the world.
Ross... you accepted me. I was insane, I was dangerous, but you were my friend anyway. You didn't care. You just didn't care. You didn't have to die. All those times we spent together, all those failed attempts at hunting. So many speak so poorly of you. Yes you instigated fights, but you were just.... lost. You wanted to be accepted, you tried too hard. You were genuine. You spoke your mind. You were protective.... She moved her tail, in order to hide her face, as she cried. She hated crying, she hated being upset, but she couldn't help it. She had so much going on. Zaeli, you didn't know, or you knew and never cared. You didn't seem to know, but if you had known, you wouldn't have judged me. You lead our tribe in a valiant, caring way. You checked in with cats, despite your illness. You smiled through the pain... She shivered, her body started to shake. There was too much going n, way too much. She knew everybody was grief stricken but she couldn't handle death. Memories, from her childhood, prevented her from coping with it normally. If things weren't already worse, she was dealing with feelings she didn't understand, for a tom in a tribe far away. She hadn't told him what was so wrong with her, he didn't know. She feared telling him would break what they had already. She felt disgusted with herself, thinking about the Fire Deputy and her love life over the death of those close.
She was trying to escape the bigger problems by trying to focus on the smaller ones. The tan and gray she-cat sniffled, trying to keep her weeping soft so she wouldn't be found out. She needed a friend now more than ever, she had never felt so... alone.
Conan's dark eyes swept over the Earth Tribe camp and the tom noted, with a pang of sadness, just how quiet the camp was. The series of deaths the Tribe had experienced had left them all rocked and as a result the camp had been eerily quiet, with a distinct lack of laughter and happiness overall.
A soft sigh fell from the Green-Earth’s maw as he stood from his vantage point, softly padding into the heart of the camp. Conan paused when he heard the distinctive sound of crying coming from .... a rock? Both curious and concerned Conan moved to investigate the source of the sound.
His eyes widened slightly when he saw who exactly it was - his friend, Vendetta. "Hey, hey." He meowed softly, getting on his stomach to poke his head under the rock. "Come here Vendetta. Come on. Talk to me." His voice was soft yet soothing, concern filling his navy hued eyes.
Vendetta sniffled. She enjoyed the silence and the darkness from underneath her rock. She liked her rock. However, she hadn't noticed how loud she had been crying, for someone was heading near. She moved to as far back in the burrow she could but it didn't prevent a certain tom from seeing her face. It was Conan, which relieved her in some way. A stranger. However it bothered her in another, he didn't want to worry him. She sniffled, using her paws to wipe her eyes. Her ears pinned back, more than usual, and her expression dropped.
"I don't-t-tt wanna come out--t-t... I like being under my rock-k-k..." She muttered, as she curled up in a ball. It appeared she wasn't going to budge. The last thing she wanted to do was be seen by public. They'd probably figure she was mentally unstable and dangerous in her current state- for the cats that had already pinned her as crazy. She scooted over in the burrow, her silver blue gaze looking into his deep blue one, "There's-s-s enough room..... you can-n-nn come in here. I'm not-t-t... coming out-t-t.... " She sniffled, tears streaming down her dirty face.
Conan doubtfully eyed the space under the rock for a moment before he shrugged his shoulders slightly and scooted himself underneath the rock. It was a tight fit and his side and Vendetta's were pressed together but it was ... cozy, in a weird way.
Another sniffle from his companion drew Conan's attention back to the reason he'd come underneath the rock in the first place. The Green-Earth turned, as much as he could, given the tight fit, to look into Vendetta's silver-blue gaze. "What's wrong Ven?" He asked softly, though he had an inkling of what it was already. Ross had been one of the many who had passed away recently and the tomcat knew that the large Air Triber had been a friend to many within the Tribes. There likely wasn't a cat in the Tribes who wasn't grieving the loss of the caring tom. Conan knew Aza would be devastated and made a note to try and talk to her soon. It was times like these that made the guard hate that he and his mate were in different Tribes. Trying to see and talk to her was always more chance than it was planning.
It was strange, being called 'Ven'. She had forgotten that was her name after sometime now. Well, Vendetta, anyway. She had gotten accustomed to using her kit name she had forgotten that a few did know her true one. Well, few that she trusted very much. The ones she'd call family, Bandit and Conan. It was a tight fit between the two in the small burrow under the rock but it worked. When he looked her in the eyes she looked away, unable to hold his gaze, her eyes too watery, and her heart to heavy. Part of her wanted to be left alone while the other half just wanted to cry into someone's fur.
"The better-r-r question is, what is right? Zaeli is dead-d-d, a cat I don't really know took her place. And a cat I've never heard-d-d of took his. I don't know-w-w Rey, I don't-t-t know Soren... and Yossarian died too-o-... I didn't know him but it appears no one did and it's just plain sad not to have someone be sad over your death so I figured I might as well be sad for him too-o-o..." She sniffled. "Don't even get me started on Ross... a tree-e-e... really? A freaking-g-g tree.... He was a good tom, Conan... there aren't-t-t that many of those. He even tried-d-d to teach me how to hunt...." She shook her head. "Why did they all have to die-e-e? Why not me-e-e? It's just too much... too-o-o much death... on top of my personal problems. I just can't-t-t take it..." She sighed, curling up in a tight ball and hiding her face in her tail. "All this dea-t-th, all this change-e-e. First we leave home-e-e to come to here, and now this-s-s? Just too much-h-h.... and so much more-e-e, stuff I haven't even told Ocean."
Sadness reflected in Conan's eyes as Vendetta spoke of the deaths that had haunted the Tribes. "We have lost a lot of great cats in the past moon." He agreed solemnly, his heart suddenly very heavy as he thought of all of the cats that had lost their lives.
Pulled by a force he couldn't deny if he tried, Conan pressed his side against Vendetta's, tongue rasping over her cheek. "I'm always here for you Vendetta. Always. If you ever need anyone to talk to don't hesitate to get me, ok?" Fierce determination and sincerity reflected in Conan's dark blue eyes as he stared intensely at the cream hued she-cat. He knew that Vendetta was a quiet cat, who didn't like to bother others with her problems but he also knew that he would lay down his life for her. She, much as Ameena, Zarya, Aeiro and several others, had found a way into the tom's heart and that earned them his undying loyalty and support. "Who's Ocean?" His voice was still soft, though his tone was curious, a hint of a smile forming across his maw.
Vendetta nodded to Conan, she knew he was there for her. It was the best and worst thing about him- his loyalty to his friends. He was loyal, almost to a fault. She knew he would do anything for her. She was the closest thing to a brother that she had- despite having real brothers.... however they weren't really brothers to her.
However when he asked about Ocean her ears twitched- she hadn't meant to say the part about him. It was an accident. Her whiskers twitched but she sighed- figuring she'd answer the other words of his first. "Yes we have-e-e, and I wish he hadn't-t-t." She meowed softly, a solemn look on her face. "And I know-w-w, you can ask the same of me-e-e." She sighed, her tail curled tighter around her, and she lowered her head onto her paws.
She was still crying, but she was crying much softer- the smile on his face seemed out of place, but it caused her to smile back. "A tom. A close friend to me....that-s-s all.... I just wish I was more true-e-e to him." She sighed. "I haven't even told him about-t-t my.... issues.... is all-l-l."
Conan's eyes sparkled faintly, noting the slight change in Vendetta's tone as she talked about this 'Ocean'. Had she found a love interest? He hoped so - Vendetta truly deserved a mate who was calm and understanding of her many unique qualities.
"You still have time to tell him, Ven." Conan mewed softly, smiling faintly. "If he is as good of a friend as he sounds like he is then I'm sure he'll understand." Then, as an afterthought the tom added, "Is there a reason you haven't told him yet?"
Vendetta shifted uncomfortably. She hadn't really talked about Ocean to anybody before.... She looked at Conan, her eyes a little less sad. It was strange but, despite the circumstances, talking about Ocean had a strange way of cheering her up. "I know-w-w I have time...." She said softly. "If anything, too much time-e-e...." She sighed, her paws twitching as she rested her head on them. "I haven't told him-m-m because I'm afraid of what he might think-k-k.... I'm not sure if he'll understand-d-d.... is all...." She said softly.
"I don't know-w-w why but I really want him to understand, I want to tell him-m-m.... but I don't want to take the chance of losing him, despite how-w-w slight that may be...." She shook her ad. "How could I even think of my own troubles-s-s? Considering all that has happened-d-d.... just too much Conan...." She leaned against him. She was glad she had Conan, he was like a brother to her, and she enjoyed his company.
Conan nudged the she-cat slightly as she explained why she had yet to talk to this ... 'Ocean'. "I'm sure if he truly care for you, as a friend or otherwise," Here Conan paused, winking slightly at Vendetta before continuing. "He'll understand." The tom smiled at his friend, affectionately licking her forehead as he listened to her continue to speak.
His ears flicked back momentarily as he thought over his words. "Just because there are other troubles in the world doesn't mean you can't talk about yours. Cats have it worse, yes, but that doesn't take away from the bad things that are going on in your life. It's ok to talk about your problems Ven." Conan's voice was soft and comforting as he gently head-butted the Orange-Earth beside him. "Now, what do you say we come out from this rock? Perhaps go sit by Lifespring Pond? I'll grab us some prey, too, if you're hungry."
Ever since her first few days in Earth Tribe camp Conan was there for her-and this was another shining example of that. Vendetta loved Conan like he was family, he made her feel better, secure, stable even. She let out a soft purr when he had licked her forehead, calming down a bit- the tears starting to stop. "I.... g-g-guess you have a point." She mumbled, softly. The tan and grey she-cat shifted in position. "And food-d-d doe-e-es sound nice but...." She looked around in her small burrow under the rock. "I do-o-o love my rock...." She muttered.
She thought it over- she could just stay under this rock, or she could get some food with the only cat in Earth Tribe that she really loved. After a few moments of consideration she nodded. "That-t-t sounds great." Her ears twitched, "I am going-g-g to miss my rock though." She joked. "Sometimes-s-s I wish I was a turtle- just so whenever I needed some alone-e-e time I could just go into my shell-l-l. That is what this place to me-e-e, but fresh air and some food-d-d might improve my mood." She slowly rose up, about read to get out, before she licked Conan's muzzle. "Thank-s-s, for everything."
Conan smiled at Vendetta's response, knowing he had gotten her past the rough part of her grieving, which was his intention. He knew that all cats needed their own time to grieve but given Vendetta's condition he didn't want her grief to cause her to lash out or something similar.
Conan playfully nudged his companion at her words, "Your rock will always be here, Ven. Just like me. It isn't going anywhere." He mewed softly, comfortingly as he brushed his tail over her flank. Vendetta was like a sister to Conan, something he felt strongly in that moment. He loved the tan and grey she-cat beside him like he loved Ameena. Both of them weren't related to him by blood but were his kin nevertheless.
The Green-Earth licked Vendetta's cheek as she explained how she wished she were a turtle sometimes. "Keep this between us but uh,"Conan leaned forward conspiratorially, love and laughter causing his dark blue eyes to glow, "Sometimes I wish I could be a fish. Doesn't seem like they have any worries at all. They just swim and flop about."
The fluffy tom's eyes softened as Vendetta stood and licked his muzzle, a small smile pulling across his lips. He waited for Vendetta to head out from underneath the rock before he followed suit. The tom shook dirt from his fur before retuning his gaze back to Vendetta. "No need for thanks, Ven. It's what I'm here for." He mewed in response to her earlier words. Affection glittered in Conan's jewel-toned eyes as he lightly bumped his head against Vendetta's. "Come on, lets go get some food. I know you have to be hungry. And Ven?" Conan paused for a moment, moving to briefly to brush his muzzle against hers. "I love you. I'm always here for you. No matter what happens."