Comments: 171
zewhatcher In reply to ??? [2015-01-15 04:59:29 +0000 UTC]
Thank you kindly for the critique. I am glad that the story was enjoyed by you. Of all my works I feel this is one of my best. (Followed by the perfect voraphilic companion)
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CosmicGrounds In reply to zewhatcher [2015-01-15 15:13:01 +0000 UTC]
Voraphile companion? I gotta' read that one too.
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MrCandyMan007 [2013-06-19 23:41:10 +0000 UTC]
Overall
Vision
Originality
Technique
Impact
Wowzers, I can't believe that this story is about 5 years old! And a pretty awesome one at that ;D
I make it a habit to always check out my watchers, and I'm always thrilled when I discover fellow authors out there :3
Alrighty, so let me begin with the critique!
I've been reading for as long as I can remember (novels, manga, fanfics, you name it), but one perspective that has always captivated me is 1st person.. Done right, it has the ability to pull you right into the story and make you feel as though you are the "I", an experience that leaves you wanting to read more stories that mirror the technique. I can tell that this particular idea was crystal clear in your mind, and it made a smooth transition over to the computer.
I don't know when it started, but pregnant women have long been one of my favorite types of female, and my emotions fluctuated right along with the narrator's feelings throughout his experience. For a moment, I took the liberty to sit back and smile, closing my eyes and sighing deeply as I imagined the wonderfully curvy goddess that you describe in your story.
Since I'm on the subject of imagery, I daresay that the setting and scenario are quite superb. Night time is my favorite time of day for a story to be set in, especially for a lovely, romantic stroll while discussing a belly fetish with a hot, green-eyed girl ;D
I couldn't help but chuckle as this delectable pregnant woman caters to the main man's fetish, whispering seductively into his ear the very words any of us would be deeply pleased to hear.
My favorite part, though, was at the end when the woman's bathing suit reveals her belly! The narrator sure is one lucky guy for being able to relax in a Jacuzzi with such a lovely lady. As you say on your profile page, I can already agree and count this as one of your best works. Though I've yet to read any of your other stories, so that decision is till up in the air e.deviantart.net/emoticons/w/w… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="454" title="Wink/Razz"/>
Overall, the tone of the whole story is very genial, calming, and chimerical. I had a good laugh when I read the ending (the narrator writing the story out as we speak), as it's a little touch that I, too, enjoy adding into my stories.
Loved it through and through, this dated very well e.deviantart.net/emoticons/b/b… " width="15" height="15" alt="" data-embed-type="emoticon" data-embed-id="366" title=" (Big Grin)"/>
10/10
~007
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Roxten [2016-09-02 00:14:21 +0000 UTC]
Lol cute story, I thought for sure this was gonna be some hardcore preggo escorting! 😆
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johhnn279 [2016-07-21 09:23:02 +0000 UTC]
I'd hire that fat bitch!
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Zihilism In reply to zewhatcher [2016-02-16 00:24:27 +0000 UTC]
I've heard that this was one of your most epic pieces. And now I see why.
The kind of story our kind would dream about.
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Zihilism In reply to zewhatcher [2016-02-16 20:34:15 +0000 UTC]
Not to mention a not so far fetched reality. Just maybe.
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zewhatcher In reply to Zihilism [2016-02-17 04:59:44 +0000 UTC]
If I had the guts, I may have tried putting something like this together.
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zewhatcher In reply to MadiKitten [2014-08-01 03:38:57 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you liked the story I tried keeping it sweet and sensual without pushing the envelope too far.
Hot tubbing for short periods and with only warm water is ok. Its when the core body temperature gets too high that there is a problem. A lot also depends on the baby's development stage. During initial organ generation it is bad, but during later months it ccan be ok, but only for short instances. The doctors I have worked with said no more than 10-15 minutes max. And preferably keeping the majority of the upper body out of the water.
One of the great lady doctors I worked with used her hot tub with all three of her kids to help with low back pain. She set the temperature to like 80, so it was a lot cooler and she would use it for a cycle of the jets to give herself some relief.
www.webmd.com/baby/tc/pregnanc… <--- not a replacement for an actual doctor!
Most people do say that, but trust me, I actually did research for that aspect of the story. However as a disclaimer I am not a doctor, you should always consult your local witch doctor, Shaman, DO, MD, PHD and whatever else you call them before doing it yourself. People vary and so does development/timing etc.
Bottom line, if y ou think it will be a problem, avoid it. However you can run into the same problem with a bath tub or staying in a hot shower too long.
Glad you are concerned though.
Thank you for the lovely comment and my apologies for the wall of text.
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Hexalt [2014-04-06 18:57:35 +0000 UTC]
Ah, I remember reading this story a while ago and loving it. Glad I found it again!
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zewhatcher In reply to Hexalt [2014-04-06 20:35:53 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad you did too! Thank you for liking it enough to remember it.
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Hexalt In reply to zewhatcher [2014-04-06 20:38:49 +0000 UTC]
No problem! Thanks for being a good writer.
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Gunnousai [2013-09-24 04:10:43 +0000 UTC]
Nice
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mezz-morph [2013-07-06 22:51:12 +0000 UTC]
This is very well written.
They're date was adorably cute, and his bumbling throughout the night was charming to read. I am so glad it didn't devolve into smut at the end, and remained what in essence it is. A charming little tale.
Best story I've read on dA in a long, long while.
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zewhatcher In reply to mezz-morph [2013-07-14 06:51:56 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. I tried to pull it off to be cute and less creepy.
Which trust me, is a lot harder than it sounds.
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mezz-morph In reply to zewhatcher [2013-07-14 10:29:39 +0000 UTC]
I can imagine. You manage to make him seem like a real character. And the evening was certainly loveable to read. Not creepy in the slightest.
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Tracker2222 [2013-02-19 15:46:41 +0000 UTC]
Will there be a follow up
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zewhatcher In reply to Tracker2222 [2013-02-26 04:10:52 +0000 UTC]
I hope so. What do you think would make a good follow up?
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Tracker2222 In reply to zewhatcher [2013-02-26 04:34:34 +0000 UTC]
You should pick up where you you left off she wakes up and wonders what happened but I'm not a story writer so
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zewhatcher In reply to Tracker2222 [2013-02-27 05:15:58 +0000 UTC]
I have had that idea. I just don't want the story to turn creepy at all. However there may be an update in the future.
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bluchevalier [2012-09-24 00:17:50 +0000 UTC]
That was a fun story to read, seeing how the woman got him out of his shell. Those are really the best types.
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zewhatcher In reply to bluchevalier [2012-09-24 01:38:42 +0000 UTC]
Thank you very much. It was a fun story to write as well.
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AtlanticSoldier8 [2012-08-29 03:48:13 +0000 UTC]
Words are useless.
I can't find the words in any language to descibe how awestruck I am. I mean that positively.
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Bookworm579 [2012-06-06 06:29:21 +0000 UTC]
This is really cute :3
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SelenaParthenopaeus [2012-01-21 06:30:30 +0000 UTC]
I LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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zewhatcher In reply to T-Graver [2011-05-25 23:08:49 +0000 UTC]
Thank you.
I agree, twould be a nice night.
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