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| WickedPrince
WickedPrince
♂️
[2429119]
[2006-03-26 02:53:35 +0000 UTC]
"Chocolate?"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 12931; Deviations: 909; Watchers: 1222
Watching: 283; Pageviews: 211550; Comments Made: 66060; Friends: 283
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: Pick ONE? :OFavorite movies: 5th Element, Willow, Legend
Favorite bands / musical artists: Collective Soul
Favorite writers: Tolkien
Favorite games: Neverwinter Nights WITH addons
Favorite gaming platform: PC
Tools of the Trade: DAZ studio, Windows Word.
Other Interests: Heroic Fantasy, RPGs, BDSM (NOTE; I am not submissive - don't even ask), anthro, Sci Fi, Star Wars, Beautiful Women
# Comments
Comments: 2479
You are welcome; you llama'd me first and I always try to eventually return them.
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Man I'm sorry to hear you are going through the big C. Yeah I agree it's hard on everybody associated. I wish you all the very best.
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Not really, I had to renew my drivers license and that was enough of an ordeal that a trip to White Castle on the way home was all I was up for and then I went home and played Star Wars the old Republic for the rest of the day. I was terrified I'd fail the eye-test: their test doesn't feel accurate to what I can actually see when I'm driving. I can see distances better than close up and the eye test tries to fake distance with small letters which isn't really the same. I wear glasses and I can actually see close-up better without them; but for the test I HAVE to wear them so I'm handicapped by that in addition to the naturally fading vision as I get older.
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Well in theory, but people also tend to get more laid-back and static and unwilling to change.
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I've gotten tired of fighting uphill battles I can't win so I've pretty much given up. Of course I'll admit my worst failures were caused by fear of failure that kept me from even trying, but then even most of my successes ended up having severe downside failures in the end that weren't my fault really. The girls that I was REALLY interested in that I managed to start romances with all turned out to have their own brands of insanity that I couldn't quite fathom and the romances died because of that. All of us are flawed in our own ways, some people can accept this and forgive others for their mistakes, but most don't seem to be able to.
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Unfortunately for myself I am that old baggage; it formed who I am and it's impossible to leave it behind without leaving my entire being behind. But knowing that I am fallible I struggle to be forgiving of others. There's a saying that goes "to say that you have forgiven, but not forgotten, is to say you have not forgiven." But it's hard to overlook and really forget the really bad mistakes people make. I don't even forgive and forget my own mistakes most of the time. But I've been struggling to convince myself to try to see things from other people's points of view when I can, to understand why they made mistakes. Realizing that people are people helps make things feel less personal, less like everybody is specifically out to screw ME over. Accepting that people make mistakes simply because they make mistakes helps mitigate the fear and distrust.
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We all are what our history taught us to be, that's hard to overcome. I try not to expect the same sorts of bad behavior from the next person I meet, but I can't help but be wary.
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The trick is not being so wary that you become paranoid. I have some problems with that one. For instance I get upset if I think somebody is picking on me. I just do not respond very well to that.
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I can be a bit paranoid. Sometimes I can't tell if a person is actually picking on me or if it just looks that way to me because I've been through so much of it I'm imagining it everywhere. I play D&D with a paranoid GM who imagines his players are constantly trying to cheat so every time he imagines he's caught us he throws fits because he imagines we're purposely cheating when it's an accident. That's the sort of thing I have where I imagine something is MORE wrong than it really is and get upset. I'm trying to learn to be more aware of it but sometimes it's hard to recognize when I'm being triggered into a PTSD thing. This guy especially gets me because when he's pointing at somebody as a cheater it's usually me and he's almost always wrong and that makes ME angry so we have little temper spats.
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Can't help it. My only real choice is to quit the game and over-all I'm enjoying playing: it's not a frequent problem it just pops up randomly and it always catches me off guard. For myself when somebody starts blaming me for something I KNOW isn't my fault my automatic response is to start fighting back. Every so often I realize I'm not going to get anywhere with situations like this and then the only response I have is to just leave. Even then I'm sure you can see the steam coming out of my ears for days.
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I try, which is why I'm still playing after about eight years of this; but I'm reaching saturation point and when we finish the current 4E campaign I'm dropping out. It stresses me out too much and I don't really have the emotional control to just ignore it and forget about it when he's acting up.
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I realize that to a large extent it's me being over-sensitive as so many others seem to be able to put up with his antics just fine; but I find them just too frustrating. I really don't want to lose the friendships I built up with the other people but I don't know how to just swallow the distress and forget it like they do.
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I know, it's a struggle though. I have an obsessive-compulsive streak that especially hits on stuff like that.
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Unfortunately I've never been any good at that. Either it doesn't really bother me at all or it bothers me to NO END. Lol.
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I don't either, that's why I see a therapist: if he'll ever get back to me after I got confused on the dates of my last two appointments. He recently decided to switch from working with a low-cost assistance company to solo work and he's been moving my schedule around every appointment; that always leaves me confused. So it may be time to contact the companies I've been getting my therapy from and finding a new therapist. I missed an appointment last Friday and I've called him twice apologizing and asking he return the call so we can schedule something and here the week is half over with no response so I'm wondering if he decided to write me off.
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Yeah I'm seeing my psychologist next week so I'll chat with her about it then assuming I haven't heard anything from my therapist by then. But it's been an entire week since I made my first call and I have heard nothing. But it's state fair time here and his office is vaguely near the fairgrounds so he might have decided to close his office this week or something.
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Not that I'm aware of, he's supposed to be affiliated with a company but it doesn't seem that way at all.
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Yeah I'm considering calling and leaving one last message suggesting that his apparent dropping me without informing me is unprofessional to see if that gets a response.
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Hm, weird; my home landline is out of service: no dial tone: I called the phone company and it's going to take them nearly a week to come check things out. I can't call him until I have a phone-line he can call me back on. It's weird because my internet is still connected and they are both on the same phone line.
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Yeah I called my local phone company to find out if they'd shut down my phone but I get internet through their DSL and that's still working. The tech tried calling my home line and got a busy signal: I heard nothing. I wonder if my phone has died, I replaced the battery that was dying far too fast recently and I'm wondering if the new battery wasn't good. But the phone seems to be working otherwise other than that when I turn it on all I get is static and no dial tone.
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Yeah I want to be sure of that though before I have to pay for a repair-visit that turns out only that my very old phone has died. I get my internet via dsl through the phone line and that's still working and they are on the same exact line - even connected to the same outlet. Of course I don't have any old phones and my roommate who DOES can't be bothered to dig one out so I can test.
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Yeah I admittedly sometimes like to complain about something just to complain but I'm not going to call a Customer Support person to do that.
Guh; currently having an issue with Facebook; I got a message from a friend "I think you might be in this video" with an included video: attempting to watch it takes you to a new page that asks you to log "in to Facebook" and then they want you to download "a video player" and agree to make that player the default player for everything: I declined the latter and it refused to play. Then a few days later I suddenly started spontaneously sending the same message out to all of my FB friends. I've posted two notices on my main page to NOT OPEN THIS. I've also changed my password three times: the last time after a friend suggested that I use the "do you want to log out of Facebook" button because it will allow me to log out every other location that is logged into my account. Problem maybe solved. But in an effort to be sure I tried to figure out how to contact FBs customer support. But I cannot find any way to do so; so I typed Customer Support into FBs search engine; it took me to a page that doesn't give a lot of info so I tried to contact them through FB messenger; I got an immediate response that "Customer Support" does not support Facebook. I tried to ask if perhaps they knew HOW to contact FB customer support and they started being all snide with me; so I chewed them out for being unprofessional and misleading.
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Yeah exactly, the guy I've been talking to is such a jerk I can't imagine he's Customer Support for anything. I wouldn't hire him to do my customer support if I was the administrator in HELL.
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