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Xioswar ♂️ [925797] [2004-06-16 02:28:07 +0000 UTC] "ciaran dowling" (Ireland)

# Statistics

Favourites: 289; Deviations: 57; Watchers: 32

Watching: 15; Pageviews: 12746; Comments Made: 2560; Friends: 15

# Interests

Favorite visual artist: Robert Frost
Favorite movies: Apocalypse Now
Favorite bands / musical artists: The Frames/Doves/Arcade Fire
Favorite writers: Robert Frost
Favorite games: Warcraft 3
Favorite gaming platform: PS2
Tools of the Trade: Keyboard, mouse and Olympus E-500
Other Interests: Photography, thinking.

# About me

Current Residence: Dublin, Ireland.
Favourite genre of music: Alternative Rock
Favourite photographer: Noah Grey 'atm'
Favourite style of art: Photography
Favourite cartoon character: Cartman
Personal Quote: People keep secrets, because secrets are fun.

# Comments

Comments: 285

jesusbite [2005-01-30 05:27:36 +0000 UTC]

This LotN really isn't a link at all. Every once in a while, I like to post some poetry from some of my favorite writers — and this would be one of those times. This is due to me digging them up and/or watching them perform these certain pieces, and the fact that in my peruzing of the DA poetry tiers, THERE HAS BEEN NO GOOD POETRY, ARRRRRG.

Anywho.

Have fun, enjoy, see you later.





Convenience Stores
by Buddy Wakefield

We both know the smell of a convenience store at 4 am like the backs of a lotta hands.
She sells me trucker crack (Mini-Thins[like Vivarin]). Doesn’t make me feel awkward about it.
She can tell it’s been a long drive, and it’s only gonna get longer.
Offers me a free cup of coffee, but I never touch the stuff.
Besides, I’m gonna need more speed than that.

We notice each other’s smiles immediately.
It’s our favorite thing for people to notice – our smiles.
It’s all either one of us has to offer.
You can see it in the way our cheeks stretch out like arms
wanting nothing more than to say “You, are welcome here.”
She -
shows brittle nicotine teeth with spaces between each one.
Her fingers are bony. No rings. And she’d love to get’er nails done someday.
One time she had'er hair fixed.
They took out the grease, made it real big on top, and feathered it.
She likes it like that.
She will never be fully informed on some things just like I will never understand who really buys
Moon Pies, or those rolling, wrinkled, dried-up sausages, but then again, she’s been here a lot
longer than me. She's seen everything from men who grow dread locks out of their top lips to
children who look like cigarettes.
I give’er my money. I wait for my change. But I feel like there’s something more happening here.
I feel -
like a warm mop bucket and dingy tiles that’ll never come clean.
I feel like these freezers cannot be re-stocked often enough.
I feel like trash cans of candy wrappers with soda pop dripping down the wrong side of the plastic.
I feel like everything just got computerized.
I feel like she was raised to say a LOT of stupid things about a color.
And I feel like if I were to identify myself as gay –
This conversation would STOP.

It’s what I do
I feel.
I get scared sometimes.
And I drive.

…But in 1 minute and 48 seconds I’m gonna walk outta here with a full tank of gas, a bottle of Mini-Thins, and a pint of milk while there’s a woman trapped behind a formican counter somewhere in North Dakota who wants nothing more than to hear my whole story. All 92,775 miles of it.
I can tell, though, she’s heard more opinions and trucker small talk than Santa Claus has made kids happy, so I only find the nerve to tell'er the good parts; that she’s the kindest thing to happen since Burlington, VT and I wanna leave it at that... ...Because men - who are not smart - have taken it farther; have cradled her up like a nutcracker and made’er feel as warm as a high school education on the dusty backroad, or a beer… in a coozy. I feel like she’s been waiting here a long time for the one who’ll come 2-steppin’ through that door on 18 wheels without makin’er feel like it’s her job to sweep up the nutshells alone when she’s done been cracked again. A man who won’t tempt her to suck the wedding ring off his dick, but will show her - simply - Love. She doesn’t need me or any other man, but she doesn’t know that either, and I’m just hopin’ like crazy she doesn’t think I’m the one because the only time I’ll ever see North Dakota again is in a Van Morrison song late (LATE) at night. I Promise.
Y’all, I feel like she’s 37 years old wearing 51 (badly), dying inside (like certain kinds of dances around fires) to speak through you, a forest, if you weren't so taken with sparks.
But she wasn't given those words. She has not been told that she can definitely change the world. She knows some folks do, but not in convenience stores and NOT with lottery tickets.
So I finally ask’er what I been feelin’ the entire time I’ve been standin’ there still getting’ scared like I do sometimes, really (REALLY) ready to drive, I ask…
“Is this it for you? Is this all you’ll ever do?”
Her smile
collapsed.
That tightly strapped-in pasty skin
went loose.
Her heart
fell crooked.
She said,
(not knowing my real name)
“I can tell, buddy, by the Mini Thins and the way ya drive,
That we’re both taken with novelty.
We’ve both believed in mean gods.
We both spend our money on things that break too easily like… people.
And I can tell that ya think you’ve had it rough,
So especially you should know:

It’s what I do -
I dream
I get high sometimes.
And I’m gonna roll outta here one day.
I just might not get to drive.









Love Like
by Shihan

I want a love like me, thinking of you, thinking of me,
thinking of you type love
or, me telling my friends more than I've ever admitted to
myself about how I feel about you type love
or, hating how jealous you are, but loving how much you
want me all to your self type love,
or seeing how your first name just sounds so good next to my last name,
and shit, I wanted to see how far I could get without
calling you, and I barely made it out of my garage.
See, I want a love that makes me wait until she falls
asleep then wonder if she dreaming about us being in love
type love,
or who loves the other more,
or what she's doing at this exact moment,
or slow dancing in the middle of our apartment to the music of our hearts, closing my eyes and imagining how a love so good could just hurt so much when she's not there.
Shit, I love not knowing where this love is headed type love.
And check this, I want to place those little post-it notes
all around the house so she never forgets how much I love her type love then not have enough ink in my pen to write
all there is to love about her type love.
Hope that I make her feel as good as she makes me feel, like believing that her being in my life makes me a better person type love or I want her to distract me form whatever I'm doing type love
and I want to deal with my friends making fun of me the
way I made fun of them when they went through the same kind of love type love.
Only difference is this is one of those real love type loves.
and just like in high school, I want to spend hours on the phone with her not saying shit,
then fall asleep then wake up with HER right next to me,
and smell her all up in my covers type love
I want to try to counting the ways I love her, and then
lose count in the middle just so that I have to start all
over again type love
I want to celebrate one of those month anniversaries even
though they ain't really anniversaries, but doin' it just
cause it makes her happy type love.
And I want to break down the time we spend together into seconds just so it sounds like we spend more time together type love
And check this, I want fall in love with the melody the
phone plays when her number is dialed into it type loves
and then talk to her until I lose my breath, she leaves me breathless, but with the expanding of my lungs I inhale all of her back into me
I want a love that makes me need to change my cell phone calling plan to something that allows me to talk to her longer
because, in all honesty, I want to avoid one of them high cell phone bill type loves.
I want a love that makes me regret how small my hands are
I mean the lines on my palms don't give me enough time to love her as long as I'd like to type loves,
and I want a love that makes me st-st-st-st-stutter just thinking
about how strong this love is type love.
I want a love that makes me want to cut off all my hair
Well, maybe not all of the hair
maybe just cut the split ends and trim my mustache, but
it will still be a symbol of how strong my love is for her.
And check this, I kinda feel comfortable now, so I can tell y'all this I even be fantasizing about walking out on a green light just dying to get hit by a car just so I could lose my memory
get transported to some third world country just to get treated then somehow meet up again with you so that I could fall in love with you in a different language to see if it still feels the same
I want a love that's as unexplainable as she is, but I'm married, so she is going to be the one that I share this love with.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

studio7designs In reply to jesusbite [2005-03-24 03:54:21 +0000 UTC]

wicked storys.. I havent read in so long I forgot what it was like.. love this part ALOT

"I feel -
like a warm mop bucket and dingy tiles that’ll never come clean.
I feel like these freezers cannot be re-stocked often enough.
I feel like trash cans of candy wrappers with soda pop dripping down the wrong side of the plastic.
I feel like everything just got computerized.
I feel like she was raised to say a LOT of stupid things about a color.
And I feel like if I were to identify myself as gay –
This conversation would STOP."

amazing

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Xioswar In reply to jesusbite [2005-01-30 19:22:03 +0000 UTC]

Oh poetry, nah i'm not really that interested in poetry, to much in depth stuff. To truly understand a poem you have to study it, and i ain't got no time for that.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jesusbite [2005-01-23 22:34:21 +0000 UTC]

Due to me getting involved in a bunch of shit, and being a lazy twat, there is no more "nightly" thing going for the LotN. I should call it "Link of the WheneverJesusbiteGetsOffHisAss" as it would be more truthful.

I've been delving into prose as of lately, as I'm getting back into the habit of reading and writing. These two caught my eye and I need to pimp them.

Vodkagina - [link] - by
"Once..." - [link] - by

And, of course, send feedback to because he likes it when people do that. And he's horny, too.


(PS: I plan on trying to get back on the ball with this, at least as a bi-weekly habit from now own, if not weekly. If you're not on the list (read: didn't get this message) and want to, please note me and request to be put on the list. I'll get right on it.)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to jesusbite [2005-01-30 19:19:58 +0000 UTC]

Soz, i only looked at my page there
Anyway, what's this whole thing about?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios [2005-01-19 13:39:23 +0000 UTC]

lol you favourited it

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

howling [2005-01-16 12:58:48 +0000 UTC]

Hey thank you for the ! Much appreciated

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios In reply to ??? [2005-01-12 01:40:22 +0000 UTC]

Think about this... You may not realize it, but it's 100% true.

1. At least 2 people in this world LOVE you so much they would Die for you.

2. At least 15 people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyone would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A Smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, SOMEONE thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special&unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists, loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you Believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you received. FORGET about the rude remarks.

14. Always tell someone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to Orphenxios [2005-01-18 18:53:56 +0000 UTC]

I nver noticed this thing before.
I really gotta read my page more often

I don't know about 3 but i'm pretty sure the rest are true. Especially number 7.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Orphenxios In reply to Xioswar [2005-01-19 02:10:22 +0000 UTC]

i was spammin ya know ^___^
but i gavens you nice spam
cos i likens you

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to Orphenxios [2005-01-19 09:03:17 +0000 UTC]

That'sa nice'a spam'a (Pizza man accent-Italian)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Orphenxios In reply to Xioswar [2005-01-19 09:13:38 +0000 UTC]

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

meigui [2004-12-28 11:27:47 +0000 UTC]

yo ^_^ just to let you know that I've read your stuff, and I will be back to critique at some point, but everything is a bit hectic at the moment. thanks for the link to the adoption lot! take care xx

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

TheCuddlyDevil In reply to ??? [2004-12-25 01:36:19 +0000 UTC]

I feel for you, you just can't get advanced critique around here, it's difficult.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Keitaro333 In reply to ??? [2004-12-24 07:15:40 +0000 UTC]

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year 2005
Have wonderful Christmas Eve.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

experiencia624 In reply to ??? [2004-12-22 19:52:28 +0000 UTC]

Please don't flame me becau I don't know nothing of English! *cries*
I don't live in one English country! So , I don't know many thinks! So , go clean yourself!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios In reply to ??? [2004-12-17 13:47:42 +0000 UTC]

know wat Mister Irishman? yup i'm reading a book called the secret of prisoner 1167 and it's all about James Kelly. and i got like two books on Jack the Ripper that i haven't read yet.

sooo i'm gonna be annoying you bout stuff ^ ^ and nagging you into reading up on it cos it's really interesting.
i reckon that you could handle a non-fantasy *coughs*

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios [2004-12-17 00:37:27 +0000 UTC]

!!!!!
watcha invisable for?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

illicitfingers [2004-12-16 19:20:06 +0000 UTC]

The next time you comment on something of mine, I would appreciated it you were a little more respectful. I found your comments on my Jawa picture to be quite rude, and frankly, insulting. If you did some sort of fan art about something I'm not interested in, I wouldn't talk shit about it like it was below me. I'm not asking for much...

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios [2004-12-15 02:25:41 +0000 UTC]

how much is too much mister irishman?

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

SukiToku In reply to ??? [2004-12-12 19:51:03 +0000 UTC]

hello just to tell you i wrote somting new
Love katie

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Orphenxios In reply to ??? [2004-12-08 08:51:01 +0000 UTC]

WAHOOO! happy birthday!! time to smashed and puke all over some hot chicks

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ShadesOfGray7 In reply to ??? [2004-12-07 21:19:20 +0000 UTC]

Hey, decent gallery. Hooray, a Warhammer fan. I'd play 40K if I had money... but I don't.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to ShadesOfGray7 [2004-12-07 23:29:30 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for browsin, yeah i kinda stopped buying things but i like the stories and painting the models, the games fun too but i find it easy to beat peeps. (not to brag or anything)

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

ShadesOfGray7 In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-08 00:58:05 +0000 UTC]

Heh. Yeah, well, I'll be checking out your work in a bit. Stop on my gallery for a good time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

devastated In reply to ??? [2004-12-06 21:49:44 +0000 UTC]

came to you thorugh the photography community, the Irish one, thought it would be nice if we, members, got to know each other better

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-07 00:28:49 +0000 UTC]

Well as u might have seen i ain't much of a phtographer but i will have pics up oon enough
so wat part are u from?
I'm from west side of dublin.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-07 15:34:19 +0000 UTC]

I am from East Cork, pretty far away... I am sort of wanna-be photographer and chemical engineer, great mix

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

devastated In reply to devastated [2004-12-07 21:10:39 +0000 UTC]

oh yes, oh yes, our favorite Na and K, loads of them and loads of water, the effects are awesome!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-07 23:28:22 +0000 UTC]

Good ole calcium, maybe ahh, damnit wats it called, it was on Braniac, govenrment wouldn't let em use it cuz it was to reacitve.
Well i would love some of that shit.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-08 21:38:02 +0000 UTC]

ah forget the gov, we can always try to manufacture some TNT's using some organic chemistry... oh how about Benzene!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-09 19:15:35 +0000 UTC]

Nah lets go all he way, NAPALM :fire: yeah thats the stuff, a few pipe bombs and we could wage our own miny war aginst that ian paisley chap for tryin yo embarass the Ira

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-09 20:09:51 +0000 UTC]

:exctied: Yeah! cool, sorted, thats my plan for the next few months so, get all the stuff ready you know, cant even recall why we started this whole explosives conversation, but I love it next time, for a faster and more efficient transfer of information we should use cell phones and messages

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-09 22:06:50 +0000 UTC]

Nah if we use them we could be tracked and then maybe just maybe [link] will realize that there are terrorist organizations in this country. ( since he doesn't know yet)
And we started it cuz u work in a chemical place.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-10 18:39:23 +0000 UTC]

yeah, in school but hey, we got labs, so yeah... Aw whatever you say dont mock the US, I am a member of so, hence I am for the US and sorta part of it
How was your day???

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-10 19:20:32 +0000 UTC]

well i never like partriots, and well today i was forced o do some caroll practice for some stupid event each year in the local arish, it was fun in some ways but i'll slagged like kid with an ass for a face.
But other than that i think i might aswell say it was good.
Yourself?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-10 21:31:01 +0000 UTC]

Carol service? I always say I cannot sing, and well... I am the only atheist in school so even when teachers try to force and inspire everyone to sing, I just say that I dont practice Christian Faith, and it is true, so they cant say much to me, I love it, but I complain a lot in religion, how they make us pray... it is just shitdog, but huh, part of school that I will miss once I graduate this coming June 2005 What year are you in?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-10 22:03:51 +0000 UTC]

5th but since my school is multi-racial there ain't no praying done, and the only practition of christian faith is the tiring christmas mass.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-12 02:26:34 +0000 UTC]

oh yeah, I see now, our school is catholic, so I am a kind of rebel, but well, it is my last year. Any plans for college? my CAO form is due soon, so I am kind of worried...

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-12 02:29:04 +0000 UTC]

well maybe just some writing courses, or architecture, or maybe just some engineering, but alls well that ends well.
Fight the system and shouldn't u be in bed.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-12 16:26:34 +0000 UTC]

lol Me went to bed at around 3am, yeah. I am thinking of chem engineering way to go with our plan of explosives! what were you doing up so late, huh?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-12 18:06:47 +0000 UTC]

To be honest, i was talkin to friend here, then looked at some porn, but my mam and dad came home so i went straight to this site so i would look all and replied to ur message

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

devastated In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-12 19:50:03 +0000 UTC]

Bad, bad boy, jee are all guys at this age fascinated with porn you get way too many viruses from those sites, I personally dont go there, but when looking for a crack for some prog, you get those pop-ups along with nice fat worms, sometimes I think Norton must be my pet or something.

👍: 0 ⏩: 2

Xioswar In reply to devastated [2004-12-12 23:14:35 +0000 UTC]

no all guys like porn, its just the way we are, but anyway i don't really care about worms or virie since this comp is gona be formatted next week. my firewall ain't up and running.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Orphenxios In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-13 02:39:24 +0000 UTC]

Porn makes me horny

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to Orphenxios [2004-12-13 16:31:30 +0000 UTC]

Yes porn makes us all horny, unless ur a super religious freak who finds sex disgusting and evil in the eyes of good, which is a complete contradiction of the tools god has given us

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Orphenxios In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-13 16:33:52 +0000 UTC]

yes Ciaran is horny

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to Orphenxios [2004-12-13 16:35:24 +0000 UTC]

ur awake
go to bed

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Orphenxios In reply to Xioswar [2004-12-13 16:36:12 +0000 UTC]

nuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!!!! i can't sleep. you can't make me you mean irishman

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Xioswar In reply to Orphenxios [2004-12-13 16:40:25 +0000 UTC]

maybe i will, well i has to go, playin halo 2 with some friends at his house, if he has the net u will know. but don't hold ur breath.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1


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