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| ASHoffman
ASHoffman
βοΈ
[20177250]
[2011-12-13 22:02:59 +0000 UTC]
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 214; Deviations: 23; Watchers: 10
Watching: 47; Pageviews: 4259; Comments Made: 825; Friends: 47
# About me
I'm a writer, but I heard that DA is trying to be more writer friendly. I'm always interested in doing comics, so comment me if you'd like to collaborate. I'm also on the writing website figment at figment.com/users/56428-Aaron-β¦ .# Comments
Comments: 134
Hope you donβt mind me tagging you 
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Thank you very much for the watch! Im' really glad! <3
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Panel 3 "Half a year ago..."
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Change "So you coming back" to "So your return"
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That's all. Finally it's the end
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This might take a couple replies.
page 18 -- "No need to thank me ma'am." 'me' can be replaced by 'us'. The line "We are happy to have business with you." can be "It's our pleasure to serve you." It could also be "We're happy for your business."
page 19 -- fine
page 20 -- fine
page 21 -- missing?
page 22 -- fine
page 23 -- fine
page 24 -- fine
page 25 -- fine
page 26 -- fine
page 27 -- fine
page 28 -- fine
page 29 -- fine
page 30 -- "This here looks worser" change to "This looks worse."
page 31 -- "Ne, kid" change to "hey, kid"
page 32 -- fine
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It's fine. Also it's sad! X*(
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Oh it's my pleasure! I hope you go back to doing "Misanthrope Cassandra". I loved that series!
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I'll go back to the Cassandra strips in some months, because now I don't have enough time for it... but I still have a lot of them that I want to draw!
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Page 15: Panel 4- "I didn't think..."
Page 16: Panel 1- The 'd' got cut off in his dialogue.
Page 17:Fine
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Just look at the speech bubble. The letter d got cut off.
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Still don't get it... "now i'd...."?
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Open the file and look at the dialogue balloon for panel 1. It says: "Now I remember the family that lived here." However the 'd' in 'lived' got cut off, so it looks like "Now I remember the family that livec here." I don't know how else to explain it.
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so it's that. And I was thinking I was stupid or something ^^. Thanx
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Thank you for the fave! 
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You're totally welcome! If you have sometime check out my story Overpowered Highschool, it's as awesome as it sounds!
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uploaded a new chapter, thought you'd like to see it
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Cool, I got Chapter 13 up for Overpowered Highschool. It's epic!
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alright, i'll get into my reading zone...
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That page had some pretty sweet action in it. I'm really looking forward to when Dream introduces a credible threat to its protagonists!
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Thank you!
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Page 12: Panel 2 - "Coming*" the other spelling should be avoided at all costs!
Page 13: fine
page 14: Panel 1 -- "After all,..."
panel 3? -- I would change it to "It's natural that her parents-..." but it's fine as it is.
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OMG! I love the twists! I'm completely hooked!
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Page 5: Fine
Page 6: Fine
Page 7: Either change the comma to a period, or finish the sentence: "It's ironic that I was faster." OR "Ironic."
Page 8: Fine
Page 9: Panel 4 -- "When I opened my eyes, I was in the hospital." Panel 7 -- Change 'hic' to 'sob' or '*choke*' or a different onomatopoeia (sound effect) like: "hyungh". 'hic' is usually only used when someone is drunk.
Page 10: Fine
Page 11: Panel 1 -- "Looking at my unfamiliar body in the mirror," "somehow felt surreal" Panel 3 -- "Is this who they call me?"
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Arigatou gozaimas!!!
^^
You are a lifesaver
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No, Lithuanian (Europa, Baltic Sea). Why ask?
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I didn't think you were, but you said "Arigato".
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I'm learning Japanese.
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Good luck with that. The hardest part is the vocabulary.
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No problem! Check out my stuff if you have the time.
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