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| Ashida17
Ashida17
♀️
[15955266]
[2010-12-14 04:26:43 +0000 UTC]
"Out Run my Gun"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 334; Deviations: 1; Watchers: 23
Watching: 33; Pageviews: 11149; Comments Made: 2215; Friends: 33
# Comments
Comments: 249
forgive english, i am Russia.
i come to study Mechanical Engineering at American university. i am here little time and i am very hard stress. i am gay also and this very difficult for me, i am very religion person. i never act to be gay with other men before. but after i am in america 6 weeks i am my friend together he is gay also. He was show me American video game and then we are kiss.
We sex together. I never before now am tell my mother about gay because i am very shame. As i fuck this American boy it is very good to me but also i am feel so guilty. I feel extreme guilty as I begin orgasm. I feel so guilty that I pick up my telephone and call Mother in Russia. I awaken her. It too late for stopping so I am cumming sex. I am very upset and guilty and crying, so I yell her, "I AM CUM FROM SEX" (in Russia). She say what? I say "I AM CUM FROM SEX" and she say you boy, do not marry American girl, and I say "NO I AM CUM FROM SEX WITH MAN, I AM IN ASS, I CUM IN ASS" and my mother very angry me. She not get scared though.
I hang up phone and am very embarrass. My friend also he is very embarrass. I am guilt and feel very stupid. I wonder, why do I gay with man? But I continue because when it spurt it feel very good in American ass.
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Here in my garage with my pasta linguini, but you know what I like more than pasta linguini? Macaroni. That's why I bought 7 new cupboards and filled them with over 2,000 new Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. It's like the master chef Betty Crocker said, "the more you eat, the more you pasta." Now maybe you've seen my ted ex talk where I talk about how I eat a box of mac and cheese a day. You know, I eat a box of mac and cheese once a day not to show off, again it's about the pasta. In fact, the real reason I keep this pasta linguini isn't to show off. It's a reminder that wet noodle dreams are still possible. Not long ago, I was in a little town across the country, eating spaghetti scrap from an italian restaurant dumpster, no culinary arts degree to my name. But you know what, something happened that day that changed my life. I bumped into our lord and savior, the flying spaghetti monster, hallowed be his name. He showed me what he did to become a true pasta lord. Now this isn't a "get pasta quick scheme". I'm not promising you that tomorrow you're gonna go out and buy yourself some pasta linguini, but what I am telling you is, it can happen faster than you think if you know the proven steps. So, I record a little two minute video on my website. Not too impressive, like I said, it's on my iphone, but it's real. So, I'm gonna give you the three most important things you can do today. Invest in macaroni. Always start your pasta cooking with a rolling boil. Don't be a crooked noodle.
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A woman pours so much hand sanitizer on her hands that it runs off and spills all over the floor. It is pooling at her feet. She continues pouring it. A security guard comes over. Ma’am, you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to ask you to leave. The security guard slips, falls. The security guard is covered in hand sanitizer. The security guard is so clean. The woman is so clean. The woman’s hands are so clean.
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I wake with the sight of Thomas the Tank engine at the foot of my bed. I welcome him to my home and offer him some water. He declines and says “Come with me to Sodor.” I come with to Sodor where I meet Sir Toptam hat. He tells me that Sodor is where I should live for the rest of my life. I said yes and came to the junction to get a house. I wake up and realize that it was a dream, and wish I was back. My parents take me to therapy because I know I was there. I was told to forget Sodor and Thomas, but I can’t. I love Thomas and I want to live with him forever.
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何ってたか、てめえ？特殊作戦群の卒業クラスでは一番だった俺は無数のアルカイダに反して極秘の使命に関わったし、公認キルは３００人以上なんだぞ。游撃戦兵で、自衛隊の最高の狙撃兵だ。てめえなんてありがたりの目標、それだけ。間違いない、この世に見たことない正確にぶっこわすぞ。ネットでそんな悪い口なんて許せると思うのか？考えなおせ。話しながら日本中のスパイネットワークを呼んで、IPをたどってるので、嵐のために準備を。生活と言う可哀想さの殲滅を持ってくる嵐だ。お前はもう死んでいる。
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¿Qué carajos acabas de decir sobre mí, maldito bastardo? Para que lo sepas, me gradué como primero de mi clase como marino SEAL, he estado involucrado en numerosas operaciones secretas contra Al-Quaeda, y tengo confirmado alrededor de 300 asesinatos. He entrenado en "gorilla warfare" y soy el mejor francotirador dentro de todas las fuerzas armadas Estadounidenses. Tu no eres nada para mí, solo otro objetivo. Acabaré contigo de una manera que jamás has visto sobre la tierra, recuerda mis palabras. ¿Piensas que te vas a escapar de mí después de decir esa basura en internet? Piénsalo de nuevo, bastardo. Estoy contactando mi red secreta de espías a lo largo de USA. y tu IP está siendo rastreada en este momento, así que mejor prepárate para la tormenta, gusano, esa que liquida tu vida patética e insignificante.
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What the heck did you just flipping say about me, you big meanie? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Tiny Tots Program, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on the girl's bathroom, and I have over 300 confirmed noogies. I am trained in Nerf warfare and I have the most gold stars in the entire kindergarten class. You are nothing to me but just another butthead. I will beat you the heck up with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my dang words. You think you can get away with saying that baloney to me on the glowy type-box? Think again, doodiehead. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of teachers across the USA and your parents are being called to pick you up right now so you better prepare for the spanking, junior. The spanking that wipes out the dumb little thing you call your playtime. You're in big darn trouble, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can wedgie you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed fartfights, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States PTA and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your dorky bottom off the face of the playground, you little poopypants. If only you could have known what serious punishments your little "smartypants" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your goshdarned tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you silly doofus. I will spray boogers all over you and you will cry about it. You're frickin grounded, buttmunch.
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So ur with ur honey and yur making out wen the phone rigns. U anser it n the vioce is "wut r u doing wit my daughter?" U tell ur girl n she say "my dad is ded". THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
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PISS ON ME FUCKING PISS ON ME BUT DO IT IN THE ANTARCTIC SO THAT THE PEE FREEZES IN MID AIR WHILE YOU ARE PISSING OFF A BUILDING AND THE PISS TURNS TO SPEARS IMPALE ME WITH FROZEN URINE AND THEN SHIT ON MY BUTT CORPSE IM A FAT GAY AND I WANT TO GO TO ICE HELL FTW
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Wot the fok did ye just say 2 me m8? i dropped out of newcastle primary skool im the sickest bloke ull ever meet & ive nicked ova 300 chocolate globbernaughts frum tha corner shop. im trained in street fitin’ & im the strongest foker in tha entire newcastle gym. yer nothin to me but a cheeky lil bellend w/ a fit mum & fakebling
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>>493771 the end of eva sucked so much i mwan they set up a badass show down sinje (i know that his name is misspelled) power dubled from the loss of misote and ascoka Vs 9 or so M.P.E. hat come back after you kill them but no they star the 3rd inpact ever bady dies and then senjie and askuke came back and the little dicj head tres to kill the hatest gril in the show what the fuck man
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Life is like a cabbage: Sometimes it is green and crunchy, sometimes dad stabs the cat with a knife because his foot ball team lose again Life is like a cabbage: sometimes it is green and round, and sometimes mom wish you were never born If you throw a cabbage in the air he will alway come right back down to you because he is lonely without you. If there is a fire in your house make sure you save all the cabbages before you even think about finding your children A cabbage does not wear a watch but he always have time for you Instead of drinking coffee in the morning try laying down with a cabbage on your stomach and you will be wide awake trust me
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You ask for a hamburger, I give you a hamburger. You raise it to your lips and take a bite. Your eye twitches involuntarily. Across the street a father of three falls down the stairs. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. I give you a hamburger. You swallow and look down at the hamburger in your hands. You cannot swallow. There are children at the top of the stairs. A pickle shifts uneasily under the bun. I give you a hamburger. You look at my face, and I am pleading with you. The children are crying now. You raise the hamburger to your lips, tears stream down your face as you take a bite. I give you a hamburger. You are on your knees. You plead with me to go across the street. I hear only children's laughter. I give you a hamburger. You are screaming as you fall down the stairs. I am your child. You cannot see anything. You take a bite of the hamburger. The concrete rushes up to meet you. You awake with a start in your own bed. Your eye twitches involuntarily. I give you a hamburger. As you kill me, I do not make a sound. I give you a hamburger.
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I sexually Identify as a spicy memer. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of filling every web page in the known universe with my spicy memes. People say to me that posting memes is a disgusting habit and I'm a pleb but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install pepe's on my face and 100 dongers on my body. From now on I want you guys to call me "spicy memer" and respect my right to fill your browser history with cancer. If you can't accept me, you're a filthy tumblr newb and need to refresh your browser. Thank you for being so understanding.
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Original, hand-crafted copypasta; The perfect present for a wedding, christening, new baby, birthday, anniversary, retirement, mother’s day, thank you, school reunion - any occasion you can think of! Our copypastas are each individually handcrafted by a skilled and dedicated chef and guaranteed to be of the highest quality.
These beautiful and decorative copypastas are hand-crafted from crushed and powered words bound up with only the finest pasta. Every copypasta is completely hand made, from the basic raw materials through to the finished product every process is carried out by hand. The only exception is a cleaning and polishing process in which the copypasta is put through special machines. Even these machines have been developed for particular use in the preparation of the copypasta, for, although the copypasta is quite durable, fine details such as noses, horses ear's, swords, daggers and flag staffs could be snapped of if treated too roughly.
The National Association of Copypasta Chefs (NACC) is dedicated to protecting artists and crafters - their work, creativity and intellectual properties and marketing rights. I believe to keep the true work of the artist and copypasta chef alive we must act to promote and protect our art and craft.
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Casual Kripp has finally reached the bottom. He has descended to casualness not often witnessed. He watches other people play and imagines their wins as his. His ego is inflated to enormous levels, and he cannot help but pat himself on the back and take credit for a game he did not play. His ego is satisfied for now, but what comes next?
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shake it bake it booty quake it
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ROLL IT AROUND DON't FAKE it
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BOOTY BOOTY BOOTY ROCKIN' EVERYWHERE
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TWERKS SUGGESTIVELY
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