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| Birchteeth
Birchteeth
βοΈ
[21390262]
[2012-03-19 03:24:26 +0000 UTC]
"Drink to me."
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 2882; Deviations: 94; Watchers: 562
Watching: 360; Pageviews: 37760; Comments Made: 1692; Friends: 360
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: A-hoy, Kesame/Sullivan.Favorite movies: How to Train Your Dragon, James Cameron's "Avatar", The Expendables (Dolph Lundgren <3)
Favorite TV shows: House, Forensic Files, Nature, CSI: Miami, Invader Zim, He-Man, Bravestarr.
Favorite bands / musical artists: Kamelot, Two Steps From Hell, Suicide Commando, Combichrist, God Module, KMFDM, Lights, Florence + the Machine, Van Canto.
Favorite books: ...Too many to name.
Favorite writers: Again, too many to name.
Favorite games: Mass Effect (Entire series!)
Favorite gaming platform: Xbox 360, Playstation 3, PC
Tools of the Trade: Photoshop CS5 Extended, Paint Tool SAI, Wacom Bamboo Create tablet
# Comments
Comments: 210
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These adopts that you make are absolutely amazing. I have told my friends about them. Keep up the amazing work!
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Hello there! I am curious when your commissions open up!
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Hi there! Commissions of what type, exactly? o:
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Ahhh, I'm sorry it took me so long to reply to this, it's been crazy here!Β I LOVE this, thank you so much for doing it for me!
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AYYY IT'S THAT EVEN FINER LADY
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Thank you for blessing me with your asshole juice
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Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the βloser,β and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3Γ5 card reading, βPlease use this M&M for breeding purposes.β
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this βgrant money.β I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
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that's right and don't u forget it
/ gang signs
(also, accurate)
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Greetings; my given name is Richard Harrison and the facility we have entered is a retail establishment that specializes in unredeemed goods, which is the legal property of yours truly. I currently employ my paternal parental unit, alias, "Elderly Male," and the offspring of oneself, whose given name is Corey Harrison, yet has assumed the identity, "Large Hoss." Each individual item currently possessed by my ο¬ne retail establishment beholds a lengthy narrative and of course, this being a legal retail establishment, can be acqulred for reasonable compensation. I have been the legal facilitator of this established haberdashery since the year MCMXCV, and in those XXI years, I have been gradually lnformed that; thy shall, at no time in the past, future, or present, be aware of by means of observation or inqulry, any details whatsoever of the material goods that will proceed past the aperture of my structure where goods are acquired and distributed simultaneously.
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Don'tdoit.Ibegofyou.Thesuguaromaylookcuteandcuddlyandmayevenoffertheirarmsouttoyoutolureyouinforthattempinghug.butdon'tdoit.Youwillregretit.Youwillexperiencepainandhorrosnomortalbeingshouldeversuffer.andthenwhenthecactusisdonerapingyouandfillingeverporeofyourbodywithneedles,thesunwillthentakeyourdefiledbodyandslowlyincinerateyou
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ADVICE FOR ANYONE MOVING TO TEXAS
1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.
2. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Just stay home the two days of the year it snows.
3. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.
4. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals & bait in the same store.
5. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
6. Get used to hearing "You ain't from around here, are you?"
7. If you are yelling at the person driving 15 mph in a 55 mph zone, directly in the middle of the road, remember, many folks learned to drive on a model of vehicle known as John Deere, and this is the proper speed and lane position for that vehicle.
8. If you hear a redneck say, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" Stay out of his way, these are likely his last words ever.
9. Get used to the phrase "It's not the heat, it's the humidity". And the collateral phrase "You call this hot? Wait'll August."
10. There are no delis. Don't ask.
11. In conversation, never put your hand on a man's shoulder when making a point, especially in a bar.
12. Chili does NOT have beans in it.
13. Brisket is not 'cooked' in an oven.
14. Don't tell us how you did it up there. Nobody cares.
15. If you think it's too hot, don't worry. It'll cool down-in December.
16. We do TOO have 4 Seasons: December, January, February, and Summer.
17. A Mercedes-Benz is not a status symbol, a Chevy, Dodge, or Ford is.
18. If someone tells you "Don't worry, those peppers aren't hot" you can be certain they are.
19. If you fail to heed my warning in #18 above, be sure to have a bowl of guacamole handy. Water won't do it.
20. Rocky Mountain oysters are NOT oysters. Don't ask.
21. If someone says they're "fixin" to do something, that doesn't mean anything's broken.
22. Don't even think of ordering a strawberry daiquiri. What you really mean to say is 'Margarita.'
23. If you don't understand our passion for college and high school football just keep your mouth shut.
24. The value of a parking space is not determined by the distance to the door, but the availability of shade.
25. If you see a slower moving vehicle on a two lane road pull onto the shoulder that is called "courtesy".
26. BBQ is a food group. It does NOT mean grilling burgers and hot dogs outdoors.
27. No matter what you've seen on TV, line dancing is not a popular weekend pastime.
28. "Tea" = Sweet Iced Tea. There is no other kind.
29. Everything is better with Ranch dressing.
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hey! found your deviantart<3 hit me up on SL when you get back on!
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Why did the chicken cross the English channel?
It had been months of preparation for the chicken. He knew if at first he didnt succeed he would be dead, and his family would be alone without him. He stepped off the pier from england, and fluttered down to the rough seas below him. He started sinking, which was weird, as he knew chickens have buoyant shapes. He remembered his physics teaching back at school and inhaled as much oxygen as he could. Doing so, he floated up to the surface. He remembered that the english channel at its shortest was 35 kilometres. If he could remain like this for the next 34.99 metres he would be set. The plan worked, until he ran out of oxygen. as he gasped for air, he began sinking again. Suddenly, with the force of 10 cans of beans and 10 cabbages, the seeds he ate earlier, which were now brown and white, blasted out of his behind. βScuse me!!β he said. as that phenomenon finished, he started floating again. Those seeds really weighed him down! Things were going swimmingly (ba dum tss) until the seas got rougher. He was tossed about, and suddenly he saw the front of an aircraft carrier sailing towards him! he felt cartilage from below him push him away, and was relieved. These must be dolphins! he thought. But no, they werenβt. Two basking sharks, known for staying close to the surface of the water, began circling him. suddenly, a small boat came sailing along. the man in the boat saw the sharks harassing the chicken, and stabbed the sharks in the eyes. With this turn of events, the chicken saw the shore ahead of him. The boat man picked the chicken up and took him to the shore.But this didnβt answer your question did it? the real reason the chicken crossed the english channel was to visit relatives in turkey. duh.
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β( Β° ΝΚΝ‘Β°)βBorn too late to explore the Earth, born too soon to explore the Galaxy. Born just in time to post DANK β³β°β³β°S β( Β° ΝΚΝ‘Β°)β
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listen here cumslut, nice legs daisy dukes make the ridiculously photogenic peasants gangnam style away from actual scalene triangle shia labeouf as cole sprouse performs a sociology snapback so dope and the ikea monkey watches from the window and we didnβt catch kony but you tried to save the ecce homo painting by restoring it with twinkies as the world ended, god bless you (with equius)Β #2terms
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That gets spread like wildfire and that's dune everyone and can be done in a million ways memes are a way and memes are light and memes mean a lot to me so If you try to take this from white culture then what do we have besides that cancer? Mayonnaise? Showtunes? No whites are wavy and have A E S T H E T I C S vaporwave all that's white culture memes for thousands of years in history whites did nothing then we made the Internet made memes in 1976 now we run this earth MEMES ARE LIFE I WILL DIE FOR MEMES
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Anyway, like I was sayinβ, shrimp is the fruit of the sea. You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it. Thereβs shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo. Pan fried, deep fried, stir-fried. Thereβs pineapple shrimp, lemon shrimp, coconut shrimp, pepper shrimp, shrimp soup, shrimp stew, shrimp salad, shrimp and potatoes, shrimp burger, shrimp sandwich. That...thatβs about it.
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Honestly, I've never actually figured out a price for them, as I've only done them for a couple of people as gifts - may I ask where you saw one of them, or who told you about me? o:
What type of logo were you wanting? You can contact me on Skype under Skaervind if it's easier for you, too.
β‘
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Haha.Β 
The logo just needs to say: Pass on the fire. Perhaps with some fire and the red, yellow and black colors of the Australian aboriginal flag.
Not anything too elaborate.Β
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Derisive green eyes draining a pool of thoughts combined, a social string organized by fractions of my time. The morbid act left a deafening ache, but this time will surely render me a blank slate. The purest, pale palm a tragedy has yet to touch-- with the grace of empty atmosphere and a hint of lust. Now wading in my oblivion, I remember quite suddenly: Holy shit, I forgot to switch the laundry.
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Wanna know how to make this poor man's tuna casserole for approximately $2.85???
No, it isnt cat vomit.
STEP 1: buy one of those $1 rice sides from the grocery store. Broccoli + cheese flavor is the best value because, unlike those other chintsy flavors, these bad boys have about 1 1/2 freeze dried broccoli stems included.
Total money spent so far: $1
STEP 2: prepare that rice side just like your mama taught you. Or read the directions
Total money spent so far: $1
STEP 3: hopefully you read the whole instructions before you started making this dish because you're gonna need more ingredients. Once the rice is done, part the seas of rice so that there's a nice hot piece of pan showing. Crack an egg on that sumbitch and scramble that motherfucker all up into the rice once it starts getting, uh, not raw.
Total money spent so far: $1.30
STEP 4: more ingredients!!! Hopefully you have frozen peas and corn in your freezer for those special times, once or twice a month, you want to treat yourself to some fancy ramen that has more than cardboard noodles, water and salt. Dump some frozen peas in. Dump some frozen corn in. Stir until they are peas and corn instead of frozen peas and corn.
Total cost: $1.75
STEP 5: this is where it gets spendy. Dump a can of 60 cent walmart brand chunk light tuna in and repeat your stirring technique you perfected in step 4.
Total cost: $2.45
STEP 6: chuck a slice of cheese in that bitch. Now what? Oh, more stirring. Dont worry, when you cook like this you obviously dont have a girlfriend so those stirring muscles are probably used to the exertion.
Total cost: $2.65
STEP 7: if you dont have frank's redhot in your fridge then fuck you. Defriend me. Ok so for those of us who are still left, pour a bunch in. How much? Depends how desensitized to salt you are. Since we're all seasoned (pun intended) ramen connoisseurs here there is really no amount that is too much.
Total cost: $2.85
Enjoy your colon-clogging meal!
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α΅Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ αΆ¦Λ’ Λ’α΅ Λ’α΅α΅αΆ«αΆ« α΅α΅ Κ³α΅α΅α΅ α΅α΅α΅αΆ° αΆ α΅Κ³ ΚΈα΅α΅ α΅Κ³α΅β α΄°α΅αΆ°α΅ α΅Κ³ΚΈ α΅α΅ αΆα΅αΆ°α΅αΆ¦αΆ°α΅α΅ Κ³α΅α΅α΅αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅α΅αΆα΅α΅Λ’α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅Κ³ α΅ΚΈα΅Λ’ Κ·αΆ¦αΆ«αΆ« Λ’α΅α΅Κ³α΅ α΅α΅ Κ°α΅Κ³α΅ Λ’α΅α΅αΆ° αΆ¦αΆ ΚΈα΅α΅ α΅α΅αΆ°α΅ Λ’α΅α΅α΅β α΅Κ°ΚΈ α΅α΅αΆ°α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅ Λ’α΅α΅α΅οΉβ β β β α΅α΅ α΅Κ·α΅ΚΈ α΅Κ³α΅ α΅αΆ°α΅ Κ³α΅α΅α΅ α΅Κ°α΅ αΆ°α΅Λ£α΅ αΆα΅α΅α΅α΅αΆ°α΅β Λ’α΅α΅α΅ Κ³α΅α΅α΅αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ α΅αΆ«Κ³α΅α΅α΅ΚΈοΉ α΄΅ Λ’α΅α΅ α΅Κ°α΅α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅ α΅α΅αΆ°α΅ Κ·α΅αΆ°αΆ°α΅ α΅αΆ¦α΅α΅ α΅α΅ Κ³α΅α΅α΅αΆ¦αΆ°α΅οΉβ β β Κ·α΅αΆ«αΆ« α΅α΅, ΚΈα΅α΅ Κ·α΅αΆ° α΅Κ°αΆ¦Λ’ α΅αΆ¦α΅α΅, α΅α΅α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅ Λ’Κ°α΅α΅αΆ«α΅ α΅αΆ¦α΅α΅ α΅α΅ α΅ αΆ«αΆ¦α΅α΅ αΆ α΅Κ³ Κ·α΅Λ’α΅αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅Κ³ α΅αΆ¦α΅α΅ α΅αΆ°α΅ Λ’α΅Κ³α΅Λ’Λ’αΆ¦αΆ°α΅ ΚΈα΅α΅Κ³ α΅ΚΈα΅Λ’ α΅Κ°α΅
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Now listen here sonny, I've been mining these here dank memes since you was nothing but an itch in yer daddy's pants. Don't you ever think yeh know more than me about rare pepes, cuz yeh don't, you little hooligan
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ππππππππππππππHAPPYππEARTHππDAYππβ¨you hippy hoeπ this is the day we all suck Mother Earthsππππ π©BIGπ©FATπ«THROBBINGπ© COCKππ¦π¦π¦π¦ or should I say rockππππππ make sure you have all your big dick daddyβs plant π³π²their tree into your ground todayπ by digging a huge gaping holeπ©π© (just like my big dicked daddy stanly yelnats and zero) ππππ«π«π«ground I mean assπππππ LET ALL THE BIG COCK DADDYS PLANT A SEED IN THAT ASSπππ the first earth day was in Philadelphia π³π³π²π©π©π©in 1970 and I want you to FILLadapphia my dripping pussyπ©π©π©π©π©π©the earth is getting warmer ππand I am getting πππhornyerπ¦π¦π¦π¦π¦ππΌ reduCUMe reuse, and reCUMycleπ―π―π―π―π― leave your carbon foot print in my assπ©π©π©π©π¦π¦π¦π¦π¦ send this to all you sexy ass earth loving CUMMIES ππππππΏππΏππΏππΏππΏ if you get 0οΈβ£ back your a earth hoeeee ππΎ if you get 6οΈβ£9οΈβ£ back you are getting some good dick tonight from a earth loving daddy ππππ if you get 4οΈβ£2οΈβ£0οΈβ£ back your getting Anal π©π©π©π«π«ππππππππππππππππππππππππππ
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Iβm not allowed back in church after god caught me hotboxing the confessional booth ββπ¨ I told him βgod, if you donβt want me smoking weed, then why the hell did you make this shit so dank???βππ god paused for a sec, looked me dead in the eye, and said βmy son, im not mad at you for blazing itβ¦Iβm mad at you for not passing that shit!!βππππππππ lololol ππ send 2 420 ppl or U will never smoke kush again !!!!!!!!!!!!
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Look at that text! Would anyone use that? Can you imagine that, the text of your next webpage?! When other websites give you text, theyβre not sending the best. Theyβre not sending you, theyβre sending words that have lots of problems and theyβre bringing those problems with us. Theyβre bringing mistakes. Theyβre bringing misspellings. Theyβre typistsβ¦ And some, I assume, are good words. This placeholder text is gonna be HUGE.
Lorem Ispum is a choke artist. It chokes! When other websites give you text, theyβre not sending the best. Theyβre not sending you, theyβre sending words that have lots of problems and theyβre bringing those problems with us. Theyβre bringing mistakes. Theyβre bringing misspellings. Theyβre typistsβ¦ And some, I assume, are good words. Look at that text! Would anyone use that? Can you imagine that, the text of your next webpage?!
If Trump Ipsum werenβt my own words, perhaps Iβd be dating it. Lorem Ispum is a choke artist. It chokes! Itβs about making placeholder text great again. Thatβs what people want, they want placeholder text to be great again.
You could see there was text coming out of her eyes, text coming out of her wherever. Itβs about making placeholder text great again. Thatβs what people want, they want placeholder text to be great again. This placeholder text is gonna be HUGE. An βextremely credible sourceβ has called my office and told me that Barak Obamaβs placeholder text is a fraud.
This placeholder text is gonna be HUGE. That other text? Sadly, itβs no longer a 10. You know, it really doesnβt matter what you write as long as youβve got a young, and beautiful, piece of text.
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Here in my garage with my pasta linguini, but you know what I like more than pasta linguini? Macaroni. That's why I bought 7 new cupboards and filled them with over 2,000 new Kraft macaroni and cheese boxes. It's like the master chef Betty Crocker said, "the more you eat, the more you pasta." Now maybe you've seen my ted ex talk where I talk about how I eat a box of mac and cheese a day. You know, I eat a box of mac and cheese once a day not to show off, again it's about the pasta. In fact, the real reason I keep this pasta linguini isn't to show off. It's a reminder that wet noodle dreams are still possible. Not long ago, I was in a little town across the country, eating spaghetti scrap from an italian restaurant dumpster, no culinary arts degree to my name. But you know what, something happened that day that changed my life. I bumped into our lord and savior, the flying spaghetti monster, hallowed be his name. He showed me what he did to become a true pasta lord. Now this isn't a "get pasta quick scheme". I'm not promising you that tomorrow you're gonna go out and buy yourself some pasta linguini, but what I am telling you is, it can happen faster than you think if you know the proven steps. So, I record a little two minute video on my website. Not too impressive, like I said, it's on my iphone, but it's real. So, I'm gonna give you the three most important things you can do today. Invest in macaroni. Always start your pasta cooking with a rolling boil. Don't be a crooked noodle.
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It should be noted that I've upvoted every single person who's disagreed with me here, as far as I know. That said. In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?
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Your dick π ainβt good π
πΏππΏβΉοΈ enough to be stylin πππΎπ on me Youβs a bitch πΆπΊπ© ass nigga π±πΏβπΏοΈππΎto keep on wildin πππ³ on me πΈπΏπΈπΎπΈπ½ Hit ππΎπ₯ my side nigga π¦πΎπ¦πΏπ¨πΎ quick fast ππΏππΏπΆπΏpull up in that quick fast πππ I ainβt talkin π
πΎπ£π³ pancakes but he flip πππ a brick π± fast π¦ A bunch π― of bad bitches ππ½ππΎππΏainβt doin the dab ππΏππ½ππΎ bitches ππ Do be in some gangs ππΏππΏππΏ couple Cs πΆππ΅ on their bag πΌππ bitches ππ€βΊοΈ Fuck you mean π€ππβοΈ Fuck your little memes πΈβοΈ Even Queen Bey ππ had to tell them π©π»π©πΌ Iβm the queen πΈπΎ Check the D π blessed indeed πππ The executive producer πΌππ bitch rest in peace β°β Then he put his hands ππΏ in my pants π Felt them thick lips ππ and got wood π²π³π΄ He said π±πΎπ―, βKylie ππ©π wuss good π?β I said πΈπΎπ―, βMiley π§πΌπ©π wuss good π€?β I said πΈπΎπ―, βCould you pay πΈπΈπΈ my bills βοΈπ€π like O'Reilly π΄ππ΅? Wuss goodπ€π€π€?β I just sit back π³ππ and observe πππ All these niggas π¨πΎπ¨π½π¨πΏthat I done curved βπΏπβπΏοΈ If it go down π½β¬οΈπ½ in your DM π¬ then baby boy πΆπΏπΆπ½πΆπΎ you lucky πππ Cause 9οΈβ£9οΈβ£.9οΈβ£% of these fuckboys π±πΎπ±πΎπ±πΏ canβt fuck me ππΏβππ½
Yo I seen πΈπΎπ your man π¨π½post a quote π and a pic π±π·πΉ in bed π So I hit ππ½π₯ him in the DM π¬ like, βHey bighead ππ Remember π€ππ when I was your woman crush πππ©?β He said, βYeah ππβ Told him πΈπΏπ¬π¨π½that Iβm headed home π‘π he could meet ππ me there πππΎ Try to beat πΆπΎππΎ me thereπππΎ let me be clear ππΏππΎππ½ Is you eatin ass ππ΄π tooβNigga pinky swear ππΏππΎππΎ Iβm just lookin ππ for a dude π±πΏπ¨π½π±πΎ that could eat π½π΄ the twat π±ππ« Do he make more dough π€ππ than the pizza πππ shop π¬ ? Do he dress πππ every day ππ
like itβs Easter Sunday π°π£β? Can he give ππΏππ½ππΎ me more head π€πΆπ than Peggy Bundy π©ππ
π»? Man fuck I look like βΉοΈππ± turnin down π£π
πΎsome dome πππ? Man thatβs sorta like a dog πΆπ turnin down some bone β β β Nigga know π±πΏπthat Iβm a 1οΈβ£0οΈβ£ thatβs Celine π¨π¦π€π«π·on my lens πΆπI donβt need π
π½π
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πΏanother friend ππ»ππΌππ» itβs just me πΈπΏ ππΏ and my Ms π°πΎπ― I said πΈπ½π―, βWhat you π±πΏπ±πΎπ±π½ like πππ about me πΈπΎββ He said π±πΏπ―, βThat your ass fat πππ°β He said π±π½π― would I let him eat π½π±π¨ this ice cream π¦π¦π¦out my ass crack πππ He said π±πΏπ― that itβs abstract πΌπΌπΌ, he said, βYo your ass π crack π¬πβοΈβ I told πΈπΎπ― him I never π
πΏ front π₯ and then I threw βΎοΈπΎπthat ass π backβΌοΈ
π: 0 β©: 0
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