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| CriticalRed
CriticalRed
♀️
[20448902]
[2012-01-06 19:24:43 +0000 UTC]
(United Kingdom)
# Statistics
Favourites: 5758; Deviations: 76; Watchers: 9
Watching: 32; Pageviews: 3879; Comments Made: 216; Friends: 32
# About me
Please check out my Polyvore too!criticalred.polyvore.com/
# Comments
Comments: 234
Thanks for the faves 
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many thanks to you for faving the colourful kitten, i raise my beer in salute for someone with a good eye and being in uk 
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Haha its a real shame i dont drink :c
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well thats fine youre not the one with the beer
i dont drink really only the occasional beer which is nice for the taste (except last time APPARENTLY) and youre the only person who has had a beer raise for a fav so even though you dont drink you can feel very special that you were "CHOSEN"
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OH MY DAYS AM I JESUS!? Oh wait, i dont have beer AND i dont have a penis :'c fml
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wtf was that about? im completely lost other than you not having beer ive no idea where any of that came from. never said anything about you being fictional or a man? DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON
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well thats fair enough, i thought you were really pissed off at something i said (if you are, soz i meant everything in a humerous manner not an intentionally trying to annoy you one)
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Haha noooo of course not XD
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aaahhhh *lets out breath finally* (after suffocating and being reborn as a beret XD)
thats good i cant just go round pissing people of by talking to them, that would be disgraceful haha still i have choc milk now and is that a good substitute for beer raising? (this is where you say youre diabetic and lactose intolerant and that i should go die in a chimney...i dont know why but i can imagine it happening)
(imagine choc milk emote here
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I just dont like Chocolate milk or plain milk D: But strawberry milk on the other hand.... that is the sex. THE sex.
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oh well that is at least closer and not as catastrophic as predicted so yay. and wow in like 3 messages youve mentioned, and i quote: "sex", "boobies" and "dick". got something on your mind much? haha (would like to put some smart arse comment hear about you thinking that way when you see my avatar but if thats the case youre attracted to little green monsters and thats pretty odd...and thats coming from ME 
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Ooft, green monsters is my secret fetish. *cough* bewbs, pussay, penis, dick, cock, balls *cough* c:
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nice choice of fetish 
haha love that spelling of bewbs i think i shall adopt that and use it in all the convos i have involving bewbs....ah wait i dont have any convos like that 
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Hmm, well lets create one.
Bewbs are scary and amazing at the same time. I mean when they are big they can either be like OMNOMNOMNOM, or OH DEAR GOD IM GONNA GET KNOCKED OUT.
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i think the things on tv ar hilarous when people come on and are like "my back hurts so much and my spine is broken and made of dust because my boobs are too big and heavy" all the food that was currently in my mouth is now flying through the air in a vain attempt to fly through the screen and meet said biological weapons hahaha always look horrible though. (then apparently im weird cause i dont like them big big, anything slightly large to small is nice i think but i dont understand the archetypal man logic of the bigger the better. like if you think that go date some fat bloke haha im breaking the mold boom im weird and dam proud of it
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It's the same with asses though. I mean, dont get me wrong, im definetly an ass girl, but bitch, when they wobble as you waddle around in jeans that are 65763848995 sizes too big, just too fit you phat ass in in- you are about the polar opposite of sexy.
But back to the bewbs. Literally.
Back bewbs.
One thing that sykes me out more that melon knockers and a tidal wave of an ass.
get a bra, or rather a lion tamer, for those backwards beasts!
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haha one of my mates was called wobble butt, i cant even remember how it came about but one of my other friends hit him in the ass and said that it never stopped wobbling like ripple in a pond XD haha so yeah thats the kind of person i have as a friend (thing is wobble butt wasnt even fat really but we did get the school to officially award him cleavage of the year
saw someone the other day on the dev homepage uploaded a pic of themself sitting down and i couldnt work out if they had an arm across them for ages (it wasnt an arm it was a MAHUSIVE roll of flabby belly....my eyes were then sick all down my face haha)
i have a really boney butt like im pretty sure if i sat on someones leg i could cut it clean off like a leg guillotine
clearly youve found a gap in the market for ass bras. that could make you a millionaire
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I have a well hard bum, everyone was slapping it in sociology 0_o
It's funny because you can kinda get an ass bra. Its like biggggg padded pants 0_0
[link]
You should get Mister wobble but some of theses for christmas, and maybe the padding could smooth your spikey bummyness!
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nice, seems your bum is very popular (more friends than you? time for its own fb page cause it no longer needs the rest of you to maintain a high social status XD )
ahahaha padded pants, i had no idea there was such a thing. does that mean there will soon be push-up pants, wonder pants, bumtubes and other things of that nature?
i have no need for more padding, i already employ the use of disposable obease babies gaffa taped to every surface i may sit on to prevent unwanted something or others....idk i forget, the idea of obease babies gaffa taped to everything is too distracting and amusing for me to think straight
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I'm pretty sure they make this stuff already.
One person who doesn't need padded pants-Anne Widecombe.
Was just working away in my shop today, and she walks in, couldn't miss her ass bless her.
I stood there, just staring, she must of thought i was retarded. But i couldn't work out where I knew her from. Oh my days Harriet- your such a political spaz.
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seriously? Ann Widecombe? haha well tbh shes not the kind of famous/semi-famous person you would ever want to meet. did you help her out? like "oh yes let me direct you over here to the large and old section because nothing else will work with you, errm cough, figure....."
haha i can imagine her face looking at you while shes thinking "fucking person is staring at me, but why?" as if there was anymore reason needed to stare than the obvious, i know ive seen the strictly clips XD haha
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In all honesty, I spent all day wondering where i recogised her from. I thought she was a historian for the majority of the day, so i was super nice to her. Thinking id seen her on a doccumentry :L
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