HOME | DD | Gallery | Favourites | RSS
| Demosthenes-H
Demosthenes-H
♂️
[19797726]
[2011-11-10 08:21:45 +0000 UTC]
"shake eternity and lick creation"
(Australia)
# Statistics
Favourites: 446; Deviations: 26; Watchers: 59
Watching: 94; Pageviews: 19307; Comments Made: 978; Friends: 94
# Interests
Tools of the Trade: Toasted Fruit Loops# About me
Allow me to begin honestly. I am unfinished, like the rest of you. Perhaps even barely a beginning.I was raised on soul butter, in a world where some larders are just crumbs.
I have been writing profusely to navigate the world. My pages are my sails.
My own sea is one that has been diagnosed with mental disorders and the ships are all flooding.
Simply put, I am a human before I am a writer. I will drown for you in my head if that's what it takes.
Why do I do it this way, you ask?
To involve everyone in filling themselves with something other than things or careers or loathing or injustice.
To expose what we conceal in closed walls or wars or muscle or in that crackly pile of leaves that are our memories.
Love and truth, let the rest come full brunt and hurt me as it does.
Now a question for you: Why not?
"The world is paradise, and as soon as everyone realizes this, paradise will be established across all the world tomorrow." -Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov.
# Comments
Comments: 311
Thank you for the favorite and happy very late birthday! <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Happy late birthday! Sorry I I'm two days late!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thanks for the fav
WeightMy words lack the endurance
required for the marathon
between my mind and my mouth,
Parched lips crackling with strain
in the search for nectar
from a long diminished race in the sands.
My tongue lies in the gutter,
shrivelled and dilapidated
amongst gravel, grime and sludge,
Yellowed teeth clacking
in tune with the wind,
staled by and fleeing expired lungs.
My vision lacks colour,
slate grey and matted
and dry as prehistoric bone,
While bright-eyed, ravens,
cackling and gambolling,
frolic, fight and flirt between my shattered ribs.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Keep writing and one day when we're old and our names our held against the night sky I'll say I knew you when you were just a budding poet.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Friend, you are far too generous with your kind words! I have not done anything to deserve such high praise; and yet, and as always, I am grateful for your support!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you, talented/attractive/charming deviant!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Well, 'talented' is up to you, but attractive
and charming!?! Hmmmh.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I want to thank you so much for enjoying and for faving my poem "Naked in the Cafeteria"!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
<3 x10 to the power of disco
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Many thanks for your 
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you for being awesome
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I'm really glad you liked my poem, mate. Thanks for the fav.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ahhh a WB Yeats lover, no wonder I enjoyed your poem
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Thank you for the favorite on my poem. It's very kind of you. ^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks very much for adding
war
to your favourites. It is appreciated!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
your poem is appreciated!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Hey, just wanted to stop by and wish you a happy birthday...and many more.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
anytime *virtual high five* damn straight.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
your icon is adorable.
in other news, you're welcome. ;D
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thank you for the faving!
I really appreciate it and hope you have a nice weekend
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Hey, thanks for the fave!
What did you like about it?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Always a fan ;D
Sorry I hate it when I come across as ambiguously favouriting things. I'll tell you now and redeem myself on that.
Overall the piece retains a feeling of brevity whilst being highly sensual with a particular visceral feel with the language used etc ... And the enjambent gives it a lot of punch. I really enjoyed the second stanza the most because of the direct address in second person gave me leverage into the poem. The last stanza is also interesting in how you've related the images to the actual line breaks.... One of my favourite things in poetry.
The downsides- you leave quite a few non-images in the lines where you are glueing what you've said to what you are going to say next.
The enjambent works with that to make the non-images stand out because there is emphasis placed on it. Thus, the poem feels a tad empty.
Besides that, a particularly yummy piece.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Your critique is better than my poem. (x
I'm glad that you saw what I was trying to do, at least!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Naww well any time you want an opinion, I won't be afraid to blatantly offend you in the name of bettering a piece of writing ;D
I'm joking, I try to be nice... *cough*
Much love <3 you have beautiful poetry.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
;D my pleasure mademoiselle.
Oui oui.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thank you so much for the fave! Means a lot
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Appreciate you for existing and producing yummy work. Means more than a lot <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
My sincere pleasure!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
| Next =>