EndlessDoubt In reply to flubaphone [2014-01-23 12:32:38 +0000 UTC]

It's been a while

Been good! I actually might have found the love of my life... It's all awesome and stuff.

How about you? How's it going in your corner of the world?

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EndlessDoubt In reply to flubaphone [2013-12-02 06:13:34 +0000 UTC]

Sorry for the super late reply! I have been quite busy with University lately. I apologize. And well, everything is cool. Better I guess. Still having trouble with love stuff as usual. 

I got a band! I'm singing on it. We're doing metal, I don't know if you enjoy the genre. 

Lately I haven't written poetry. It's a good sign, seeing as how I used it to vent unpleasant feelings. I kinda miss writing, however.

How about your life? How have you been?

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-06-25 16:49:48 +0000 UTC]

I'm not dead though <3

How have you been? I'm excited, I'm going to France in a month and a half!

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-06-25 17:19:36 +0000 UTC]

SEAN!

Oh my god, you have no idea how excited I am to talk to you. ^_^

Wait, really?! that's so awesome! I'm happy for you!


I'm doing quite well. I've had some interesting things happen recently... That guy and I are done. He "broke up" with me on the ninth. I'm actually pretty happy it's over though, it was hurting too much.

How've you been? It's so good to hear from you.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-06-25 17:26:41 +0000 UTC]

How are you feeling about that break up?

I've been all right, quite smothered by the moving out + starting to live alone thing. A lot of paperwork and other annoying things. I just realized I have no idea of what I'm doing when it comes to banks, insurance or getting an apartment.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-06-26 23:35:49 +0000 UTC]

Honestly? I'm happier than I was with him. He really just sort of brought me down and made me feel like crap, so, it's good to have him out of my life. I feel bad that I lost a friend, but, it's better for us to be apart. It's a good thing that he's gone. Besides, for a while I had been sort of head over heels for another and I realized I liked him a lot more than the other. So, honestly, I'm glad we broke up.

Oh wow, I didn't realize that you were moving out! Congratulations. Living on your own is a huge step in life. I'm happy for you. I do apologize that there's so much paperwork though. I know it's a completely different lifestyle and it's definitely going to take some getting used to. Hang in there, you'll be fine, I know it. ^_^

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-05 05:05:30 +0000 UTC]

If you're better off without him, then I'm glad for you

Thank you!

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-05 06:31:05 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, it's definitely a good thing. Especially since things between myself and this other guy have taken a turn for the better. *fingers crossed*

Of course!


How are things?

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-10 14:31:31 +0000 UTC]

Everything is average, my heart still dreams of her, my mind still dreams of awesomeness. For the moment, I just dream of things.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-10 14:41:45 +0000 UTC]

I understand. I'm sorry.


So...yesterday I got the courage to tell him how I felt.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-11 04:18:38 +0000 UTC]

Unrequited love sucks.

How did it go, what did he tell you?

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-11 05:52:41 +0000 UTC]

I totally understand.

Surprisingly, he took it really well. He told me that no matter what, he is going to stay my friend through this. And I'm so thankful for that. He's told some other people that he's not quite sure how he feels about me yet, but I'm more pleased about the fact that nothing has changed between us and he still trusts me and enjoys talking to me more than anyone.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-11 13:01:17 +0000 UTC]

Oh, well I'm quite glad he understood your position. It seems like this is on a good road.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-12 02:55:02 +0000 UTC]

Yeah. Especially today. I saw him and we talked about it in person and...he kissed me on the forehead. I know it's a small symbol but it meant the world to me. I've never been so happy.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-12 04:42:37 +0000 UTC]

Oh wow... Do not get your hope's up with this... But I've read countless times that a kiss on the forehead signifies that you mean the world to him, and possibly more...

I can't say I'm happy in my little corner of the world, but she and I still are pretty good friends. I guess I'll have to live with that. I know for instance that I will still suffer as long as I keep seeing her and talking to her like if nothing was happening. But at the same time, taking some distance would mean putting in peril the friendship we've so thoroughly sewn together.

Sorry to cast my shadow of sorrow over your moment of joy. I hope you understand I need someone to talk to. I am glad you are happy.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-13 01:00:28 +0000 UTC]

I am very happy about it. Things have gone well so far, and I'm glad for where they are going.

Well. There's no easy way to talk about that, I'm sure. It's hard when it comes to that. There's a few things you could do here. And it has to be what's best for you. You could tell her that you don't know if you can physically do it, seeing how you still care about her so much and it's just hard. You could try and fight away the feelings to keep your friendship together. or you could tell her the truth, and maybe try and hold the friendship together. It is a very hard decision to make, but you have to realize it has to be what's best for you, and not in anyone else's interest. And that's a hard thing to accept.

Do not apologize for talking to me. I am here for you, always. You have been here for me through so much, Sean, and you deserve your moment to talk about what is bothering you. No matter what happens, I am here for you. Alright? You care more about me than some of my real friends that I've met. That says a lot.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-18 18:05:25 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I think I'm going to tell her. I don't know how, I don't know when. But I will, I guess. I need to get it out of my chest.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-18 18:28:41 +0000 UTC]

If you think that the best decision, do it. You need to get it out of your system. Be strong, everything will go as it is supposed to.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-18 21:09:49 +0000 UTC]

Is wishing for everything to happen just as I want it to happen asking for too much?

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-19 06:09:12 +0000 UTC]

No. It is human nature. You want what you think is best for you. I do not blame you at all.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-19 07:06:02 +0000 UTC]

Oh, wow, I'm becoming human, ew

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-19 07:07:47 +0000 UTC]

That's never a bad thing, haha. You'll be fine. Things in life will settle out how they are supposed to. Just give it time.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-19 07:19:13 +0000 UTC]

I hope so. I'm sorry my latest deviation is in spanish, I really love how it turned out to be.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-19 07:26:00 +0000 UTC]

Don't be sorry. I'm taking Spanish so I understand a little.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-19 07:36:14 +0000 UTC]

Oh, nice

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-19 19:14:05 +0000 UTC]

Haha, yeah.

How are you feeling today?

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-20 01:10:24 +0000 UTC]

I don't know. Better than yesterday that's for sure. I just feel this silly emptiness. It's not good, but it's not overly bad either. It's just a void that calmly pulsates.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-20 06:12:33 +0000 UTC]

I have been there. I understand. I pray that things continue to go well for you. I really want you to be happy.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-20 06:23:51 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I appreciate it. How rude of me though, I haven't even asked you about your day. How has it been?

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-20 08:01:31 +0000 UTC]

No, do not think anything of it. It's fine, my friend. But my day has been quite good, thank you. Today hopefully will be better. He and I are going to a quincenera together. I'm quite excited. ^_^

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-20 21:29:44 +0000 UTC]

I hope you have tons of fun!

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-22 02:38:23 +0000 UTC]

I did. It was a very good day. He kissed me again, which was lovely.

How are you?

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-22 02:58:21 +0000 UTC]

I'm doing good enough, I guess. I had a few drinks yesterday. I got slightly drunk. In fact, I achieved an optimal point of alcohol which allowed me to clear out my mind but not lose any cognitive and intellectual abilities. I was a bit dizzy though. Nothing too serious, I only bumped into a wall once. Oh, and I slept like a baby. It's been years since I've been able to sleep that well. I'm glad I have a strong will and don't become addicted easily, otherwise I would be drinking all the time.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-22 06:44:02 +0000 UTC]

Please promise me you will not become hooked on alcohol. I have a friend who used to drink and smoke all the time and I'm worried all the time that she'll start again. Please, promise me you will not become hooked. You have other ways to cope. I am here for you. 

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-22 17:51:19 +0000 UTC]

Don't worry, I won't. I don't drink often, really. I rarely drink at all in parties. This time I just was in the mood for it. But I'm not a heavy drinker at all.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-22 19:37:16 +0000 UTC]

Alright, I'm glad to hear it. I'm here for you if anything worsens. 

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-23 06:04:15 +0000 UTC]

I know, and I appreciate it a lot.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-23 06:46:02 +0000 UTC]

I am not trying to turn this back to me, but, I figured you would want to know.

He told me tonight that he has feelings for me. And that he really cares about me. He kissed me again, and told me how gorgeous I looked at the quinceanera, and how he wanted to slow dance with me and tell me of his feelings there. I am...I am so beyond happy. 

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-23 07:20:32 +0000 UTC]

I'm always happy to hear about your happiness. You know that. Never doubt talking about yourself! I'm always here to listen.

It is wonderful! I'm sure you'll get far with him. I'm so glad for you.

Here, have my happy face

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-23 07:29:59 +0000 UTC]

I really appreciate it, Sean. That means a lot. You're a great friend.

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-23 07:34:58 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. You're an outstanding friend too. Putting up with my constant negativity and mediocre poetry can't be easy!

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-23 07:36:08 +0000 UTC]

Hey, your poetry is far better than mine! It's absolutely incredible, Sean. 

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-23 07:40:29 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. It really means quite a lot!

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-23 07:53:05 +0000 UTC]

Of course! I really wish my poetry was as good as yours. 

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-23 07:59:19 +0000 UTC]

Don't say that. It is, if not better.

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xXxMusicNinjaxXx In reply to EndlessDoubt [2013-07-23 21:42:09 +0000 UTC]

Hardly. I just whine a lot. XDD

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EndlessDoubt In reply to xXxMusicNinjaxXx [2013-07-24 01:18:38 +0000 UTC]

Not too different from what I do. I whine, ask and give hints as to what I feel. That's about it.

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