Shiena-san [2019-03-30 00:41:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the follow!

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Willfire-Z-Tiger [2019-03-21 16:04:55 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fave! 

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KaidokJ [2018-11-09 11:07:12 +0000 UTC]

Sorry about the late reply. Been trying to clear the backlog...

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 31: Slice - Goober, Gunderson Goober

No funny story for this one. I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for their support during Inktober, and for joining me on this bizarre adventure with Sir Goober. What started out as an overly ambitious direction for an inking challenge turned into quite an interesting ride. And surprisingly, it’s been a lot of fun.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. But, if you missed it, don’t worry, the whole series is here. Hopefully it will be enough to hold you over till next year when the intrepid knight is sure to return. Maybe.

#Inktober2018Completed

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KaidokJ [2018-11-09 06:52:37 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 30: Jolt - CLEAR!

I knew a guy who had a thing for electro shock therapy. I say therapy, but in all honesty, there really wasn’t anything therapeutic about his approach to electricity. He just like to get his buzz on and just didn’t feel right unless he’d had a few volts running through his body. Like most addictions, he started young. I remember, in grade school, you’d often find him hanging out behind the bleachers licking batteries, and as he got older, he got hooked on the hard stuff. Defibrillators. It’s kind of sad, really. My greatest fear is that one day I’m going to get a call from the police that they found his body in some random field after a massive thunderstorm, killed chasing the ultimate shock.

#LightningJunkie

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KaidokJ [2018-11-05 07:20:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 29: Double - Old-school Uber driver

I don’t really understand the whole Uber thing. Which is strange, because I’ve been getting into strangers cars for as long as I can remember. Nothing criminal, you understand, I’d just hop into the backseat of cars waiting at the corner or at the lights, you know, to say hello. And once the yelling and screaming stops, more often than not, you get the opportunity to have a frank and open discussion about the merits of ownership and personal space. So I totally understand that part. What I want to know is why anyone would ever want to pay for that kind of an experience?

-HarmlessCarInvader

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KaidokJ [2018-11-04 09:02:36 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 28: Gift - Unofficial Goober/Kevin X-Over

Sometimes I really wonder what it was that I did to ever get saddled with such an attention hungry creature like Kevin. I mean sure, there are plenty of reasons why it was bound to happen, but it would be nice to know which one specifically I’m being punished for. It’s not enough that he has his own series, promotional material and there’s talk of an upcoming comic adaptation for his life story but now he feels compelled to just randomly drop into another character’s storyline, all because it seems to be garnering a little bit of attention. And what’s worse, he has the nerve to blame me for the whole thing. Take it from me, if you’re ever asked to housesit for your sister’s Aunt Tilly’s hairdresser’s dog groomer, then just make sure not to open the door to any seemingly harmless looking alpaca salesmen named Kevin. He lies.

#StillWaitingForMyAlpaca

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KaidokJ [2018-11-04 02:20:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 27: Thunder - Any thunder-box in a storm

Using a thunderbox is a risky thing in the land down under. A rusty tin shed exposed to the elements, the Australian outhouse was home to a whole number of fun creepy crawlies. I’m sure some of you might have heard of the term “red back on the seat”, well, it’s actually a thing. Thankfully, modern plumbing has significantly reduced one’s risk when squatting on the throne, but even then, it’s not without its perils. An example. Up in Northern Western Australia, there is a large sand goanna sometimes called a bungarra. It’s dangerous, but not deadly, for the most part. Anyway, I know someone who used to live up there and one day they went to use the loo (bathroom) without turning the light on. Only just barely sensing that their butt was imperilled, they turned the light on and inside the bowl was the large head of a bungarra, watching them. Apparently these enterprising lizards climb up sewerage pipes looking for clean water and get stuck. It’s quite an ordeal to get them out, but nothing compared with the shock of finding one in the first place. Anyway, just thought I’d share that. Although it’s probably best if you try to forget it the next time you really need to go number two. Might make things harder for you.

-ParanoidPooper

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KaidokJ [2018-11-01 05:28:51 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 26: Stretch - Yoga Class of 2018 BCE

I never really understood the big fuss about yoga. Then I tried it. Only once, but once was enough to completely change my life. After just one 2 minute super express, highly condensed teaser class, I was able to perform incredible feats. Like touching my nose to my navel, or my earlobe to my eyeball, or, and this was really impressive, my tonsils to my pancreas. Unfortunately the effects were short lived, and I realize now that this is how “they” get you. Once you experience the awesome powers that yoga bestows, you become hooked, and in order to keep them you must continue the classes. Sounds a lot like an extortion racket if you asked me. But nobody does. All because I now resemble a human pretzel. It’s my own fault, really. I should have read the warning in the class pamphlet. Don’t practice advanced poses unattended. My superhuman yoga powers wore off halfway through the attempt and now I’m stuck.

#CantYogaBearIt

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KaidokJ [2018-10-31 01:10:59 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 25: Prickly - Mommie dearest.

Everyone knows that parents are embarrassing. It’s a fact of life, like scurvy, or an IRS audit. And 14 out 10 times, your mother is the worst offender. Well, not your mother specifically, I’m sure your mother is very nice, I mean mothers in general. I bring this up not as some grand rant about embarrassing mothers, but rather to provide you with the small consolation that you do not have the most embarrassing mother ever. It might seem like it, but you don’t. I know, because I have met the most embarrassing mother ever, and her poor son John. And just for the record, I am not John. This is not some cry for help, “this happened to a friend of mine” kind of story, no. My mother is bad, I won’t deny that, but John’s mum sets the standard for embarrassing her kids. How, you ask? Well, imagine you’re talking to a girl you like, or boy, I guess, and just as you’re finding your groove, you’re suddenly pantsed, by your own mother. This isn’t a joke. I was there, I saw it happen. And this was just one such incident. So it will come as no surprise that when asked, poor John would vehemently insist that he was a test tube baby and in no way biologically related to his mother. Now this was well and truly before IVF was a thing, so you have to admire his commitment to this line of defence. That kind of a claim took research to pull off, and he always made a pretty compelling argument. I often wonder what must have become of ol’ John. With the sort of quality parenting he received, he probably ended up in politics. Either way, I thank God daily that my mother never took a page from John’s mum. And you should too.

#TrueStory       

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KaidokJ [2018-10-28 01:38:28 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 24: Chop - Quick drop, wet plop...

I kind of feel sorry for Eddie the Executioner. He’s a decent fellow. He pays his taxes on time, calls his mother every week, and he wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless that fly had been sentenced to a public execution for various criminal activities, like murder, or public indecency. So tell me why Eddie should have to suffer from the historically poor workplace morale typically found in his chosen profession. Can you really blame him for trying to bring a little cheer to his clients? Some people have called it ghoulish or a little creepy, but with a charismatic smile like that, it almost makes the experience of having your head violently severed from your body seem bearable. I know it made me feel better.

#GallowsLevity

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KaidokJ [2018-10-23 05:54:36 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 20: Breakable - By the power of Grayskull

I had the power of Grayskull once. It was nice. And really useful for opening tough jar lids or that time I had to help a friend move house. It also came in handy when a raging horde of interdimensional hell fiends decided to invade my apartment bathroom. I still have no idea what they were after, although I suspect my toilet sit cover was the likely target (it’s enviably soft and fluffy). Glen, from marketing, can’t keep his hungry eyes off it whenever I host the weekly game of corporate mandated snakes and ladders. Team building exercises are the worst, am I right? Anyway, if I had to put money on who sent those infernal imps, I’m going with Glen. Ralph, over in accounts, is giving me good odds so fingers crossed that I win the pool. As for the power of Grayskull, well, I kind of lost it to unsavoury individual in a game of high stakes, backroom SNAP! But I’m sure he’ll put it to good use.

#MyMoneysOnGlen    

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KaidokJ [2018-10-23 03:05:50 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 19: Scorched - I'll just be a minute...

It goes without saying that touching an orcish laundress’ iron is a sure fire way to land yourself in a shiny black pot of trouble. But it’s the dwarven confederation of delicatessen owners that you really need to be careful of. Don’t let their reduced stature and boisterous good nature deceive you, these deli demons don’t mess around. Back out on a big order, bad mouth the store’s premier selection of salted animal carcasses or even cut the line and that’s it, you’re done for. Now, I know what you’re thinking. What’s the worst that could happen? To this I say, cheese platter. Sorry, I meant cheese splatter. If you cross a dwarven deli owner, you win yourself a lifetime supply of cheap, low grade, barely edible, mouldy cheddar cheese. The thing is, it’s delivered as a lump sum, by airmail, directly on top of your house. And with dairy based ballistic targeting being what it is, chances are your neighbours are going suffer right alongside you. So if you don’t want their deaths on your conscious when an avalanche of cheese jettisons you into the great hereafter, don’t tick off the deli people.

#AerialCheeseAssault     

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KaidokJ [2018-10-21 03:30:44 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 17: Swollen - Begin the Bloodletting

This is something that not a lot of people know, but I have a pathological fear of my own blood. Sure, it’s not that uncommon, nobody really likes to see it, but my aversion goes a little further than the norm. So great is my fear that I periodically need to drain my entire supply every three days or I start to go into paralysing states of nonsensical rambling. It’s not so bad, although admittedly, the process is quite complicated, involving a lot of opaque tubing and plastic bottles, so as to not risk any chance of seeing red. The final precaution is to apply an airtight, full face blindfold, just in case there is some accidental spillage. I realize this is a lot of work just so that I can manage my fear of the bright sticky stuff, and it does involved long periods of unconsciousness, but I think the cost outweighs the benefits. The only real downside that I can see is that my boss is seriously considering firing me for taking so many sick days, which sucks. I really like working at the abattoir. I know right, it’s the funniest thing. I don’t mind the sight of blood, as long it isn’t my own. It’s quite relaxing, actually.

#AsLongAsItsNotMine    

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KaidokJ [2018-10-19 07:03:11 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 16: Angular a.k.a Will shatter on contact

While Leopold’s Impractical Armor Sets is no longer selling its relatively useless and oftentimes harmful defensive accoutrements, in its heyday, you could really pick up a bargain. They had a helmet made of a fine aged Gouda string cheese, which for health reasons, was completely inedible; a set of boots that consisted of two biodegradable plastic shopping bags strung together with recycled waxed twine, for the environmentally conscious adventurer; a cloak of completely bald, former circus weasels, which had been painstakingly trained to remain absolutely motionless until it rained, at which time it attacked the wearer; and a breast plate of wet diatomaceous earth, the application process of which involved standing outside while Leopold slapped you in the chest with handfuls of carefully selected grains of high quality mud. Personally, with stock like this, it’s kind of hard to understand how it all went wrong.

#OnePersonsTrash        

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KaidokJ [2018-10-16 05:37:35 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the fav on Inktober 13 - Guarded a.k.a Priceless Pickle Caper

The delightful fellow on the left, a one Alan Beauregard Yance XXVII, has, believe it or not, never played a game of hockey in his life. Can’t stand the game actually. Too many passages of play between fights, apparently. However, he is an avid supporter of team loyalty. And although he knows nothing about the Pathological Unicorns as a hockey franchise, nor has he ever seen one their games, their dedication to lax sportsmanship, hyper aggressive harassment of elected officials, and fanatical counter-indoctrination of pigeon migration, as evidenced by their team mascot, is something he cannot ignore. He wears their colors in solidarity of these ideals. The guy on the right, Hognork the Defenestrator, used to work mall security. He doesn’t like to talk about it.

When they aren’t protecting solid gold fermented cucumbers, they’re hitting the streets. Don’t worry, they wear gloves so the asphalt doesn’t tear up their knuckles. And they do all this in search for the goat that murdered their father. And no, they’re not brothers. That would be ridiculous. They’re fathers were brutally murdered on completely separate afternoons. By the same goat…

#VengefulBuddyCopMoviePitch  

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KaidokJ [2018-10-16 05:31:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you for choosing AbsurdAir, your captain for this flight is KaidokJ . I have no license, I’m considered legally blind and I’m easily distrac… Wait, what was I talking about…

But not to fear. There’s a good chance we’ll never make our destination, but since this whole flight metaphor is just a weak attempt at a humorous anecdote, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem. Ah damn, I just shattered the illusion by crashing through the 4th wall.

Anyway, thanks for the watch.

I’m sure you regret your choice by now, considering this madness is basically what you signed up for, but since all tickets are non-refundable, welcome to Crazytown. Quarantine measures come into effect upon arrival.  

On a more serious note, here’s basically the run down. Posting regularly (fingers crossed), free funny stories in almost all fav replies, and an intro to Kevin the Llama in the Llama Badge reply. Also, if you haven’t already heard, I’ve been designated Kevin Llamason’s official biographer, so you can check out what he’s been up to in The Kevin Chronicles . (Unfortunately “The Kevin Chronicles” are currently on hiatus, while Kevin gets a handle on his pinecone addiction. In the meantime I hope to experiment with a new format in the near future, so keep an eye out for that)

So that’s about it. Thanks again for flying AbsurdAir, and I hope you enjoy the ride.  

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TheArtistJ [2018-09-26 21:06:36 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for added me to your watchlist! I appreciate it

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Meowniac [2018-04-03 03:00:01 +0000 UTC]

Thanks you for the watch! <3

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GoIosita [2016-11-20 02:02:11 +0000 UTC]

SEKIBANKI IS A ROKUROKUBI
THE MYSTERY IS SOLVED

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Colbington [2016-10-15 01:00:27 +0000 UTC]

I swear I've met you irl

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GoIosita [2016-09-28 21:40:39 +0000 UTC]

youtu.be/8Iy6ucY2mlI
I think you'd like this Touhou game
It has one of my favorite characters in it

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Virgilio-XyZ [2016-09-25 15:56:00 +0000 UTC]

Thanks for the DeviantWATCH!    

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pastel-birbs [2016-09-23 19:39:49 +0000 UTC]

goiosita.deviantart.com/status…

DO YOU WANNA JOIN GIO AND I ON THIS

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GoIosita [2016-09-21 00:34:46 +0000 UTC]

WHERE
IS
ABSINTHE????????

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GoIosita [2016-09-06 22:44:40 +0000 UTC]

DON'T VISIT MY PAGE YOU DINGUS

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LarkspurRamos [2016-08-28 20:42:42 +0000 UTC]

neko-anyomus-neko.deviantart.c…

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GoIosita [2016-08-28 17:30:09 +0000 UTC]

youtu.be/FrVYD2Ac6nM

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blossoma [2016-08-14 20:52:42 +0000 UTC]

happy birthday dude  

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LarkspurRamos [2016-08-14 17:22:21 +0000 UTC]

OH MAN IS IT UR BIRTHDAY
O 👨 IS IT UR 🎂🎈🎈🎈🎊🎉🎉🎇🎇📆📅???

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LarkspurRamos [2016-08-14 17:21:17 +0000 UTC]

Hows it goin

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