ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-11-21 19:31:09 +0000 UTC]

Hi Jen

I still don't know the truth but I felt the urge to come here and give you some more love

First and foremost, I have to get this out - you're beautiful!!!!! i just had to say that hehe

anyway...i'm not the poem type but i'm gonna try to write you something...

o beloved Jennifer,
i love your eyes!
and your smile is amazing when i can see it
please rest your head upon my chest
and let me kiss you on the forehead
because i think you're the most amazing
and wonderful, and beautiful and perfect and
sweet and kind and awe-some and 
i wish there were more words to give you
and i feel like my love is limited for you - the black cloud
and i'm kinda losing my way here and this isn't really making sense now
because i thought of you and it distracted me
and....i love you! i love you i love you i love you!
and i just want to SHOW YOU!!! how much i love you!!!
because you're an amazing sweet princess 
and i want to hold your hand!!!
plz o plz jennifer klayer, let me kisses your hand!! plz o plzzzz!!!
o Lilith! o Eve! o Gabriella! o Mary!
Your Prince Charming Michael
and Kyle and Jesus and Adam is here !!!!
i just want you to see how much i love you !! somehow i'lll show you

okay that's my version of a poem...sorry i'm kidna distracted thinking of your eyess

i love you!

Michael

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-18 19:17:00 +0000 UTC]

I urge you to take a look at these lyrics. This should be right up your alley. Cradle of Filth.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7L8iI…

Gabrielle, how I love thee!
Gabrielle, return to me!
Gabrielle, how sweet those cherry lips

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-18 18:23:13 +0000 UTC]

Thejestersfool,

What if I could prove to you that you would have more "fun" or "enjoyment" if you listened to the words I speak?

Some were born with the Knowledge of Love, and some were not. It is unfortunate, and I didn't choose it to be that way. I never created you.

PLEASURE OF THE FLESH (LUST) EXAMPLES
Alcohol
Drugs
Violence
Movies
Television
Tormenting Other Souls
Sex

PLEASURE OF THE SPIRIT (LOVE) EXAMPLES
Helping somebody in need
Kissing your lover
Crying with your lover
Holding your lover in your arms
Simply saying "I love you"

Satan gets no true enjoyment out of the second category, so he resorts to the first.

Yes, it is absolutely pleasurable to imagine myself completely DOMINATING SOMEBODY, and controlling them in my little "prison planet." Hell, I'll admit I've even masturbated to it a few times, so I could understand Satan's ways.

But the truth is, Satan only has knowledge of Lust, and I, The Lord God, have knowledge of BOTH. And there is nothing different from one soul to another.

Take any two people that have the SAME EXACT KNOWLEDGE, and they will choose the same thing. It's just how it works. The mathematics of existence.

So what I'm saying is - in having knowledge of BOTH, Love is definitely greater. In fact, when you have the knowledge of love, you see lust as BURDEN that hurts you.

I wish that you would challenge me Jennifer. In the relationship, I was controlled by Satan. Of course this was good because you aren't my true wife, but still - I didn't have the knowledge I had now. So I didn't have the opportunity to SHOW YOU the truth.

I love you, and this is why I do this.

Please let me give you the one thing you don't have, which is the one thing you need - the Knowledge of Love.
It will help you to be happier, and appreciate "life" more than death, and to have empathy.
It will bring you to life, for now you are truly dead.

And it will free you from the need to keep me trapped, and I will be able to see my beloved Angel, Gabrielle again.

Don't put the blame on us - we never choose to be angels, just as you never choose to be demons. I don't blame you for your actions, nobody is guilty in the eyes of the LORD. Only Satan judges as guilty. God's wrath is Love, for Love solves everything.

What you feel is "love" towards your Shadow Prince Jennifer - is really Lust. You are BLOCKED from love because you refuse to listen to me. Hear me out for once, and I guarantee you will thank me.

Michael Archangel

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-18 18:03:14 +0000 UTC]

Consider this Jen.

I obviously know that Satan is going to be against me if I do not agree with his ways. This is why I have endured many curses.

So logically think this through - why would I do this?

I do it because I can see a greater truth. I know from your perspective you see yourself as "controlling" me but there is more than you see. There is more than meets the eye. I can promise you, that if you will trust me, I will NOT lead you wrong.

I endure the pain you cause because I know what is best for you. This is the one thing I have that you do not see. I know what you need better than you do, because I am the Lord of Light. Lucifer, being the Lord of Force only knows his own will. He sees only what he desires. Yet I see the bigger picture.

Talk to me, and you will see the truth.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-18 17:55:34 +0000 UTC]

I do love you Jennifer, but I guess I'm not In Love with you, because there is a beautiful sweetheart that was made for me. I know you don't believe me, but I can see further than you can see.

You and Satan do have power over hell. You have a lot of knowledge and can even imitate love.

but I want you to know something, Jen - deep within side you lies a pure heart. Really, we are all one if you look at it from the bigger perspective. There is something I can see that you and Satan cannot see. You possess ALL POWER except for one thing, the "bigger picture." The knowledge of Love and Goodness.

I need to speak to you to show you this. I promise that if you will speak to me, I will show you something that your husband Satan cannot see. I tell you this because I love you

You are my sister, and my mother - and I want the best for you. I wouldn't waste my time trying to tell you this if I wasn't right. As you have seen I have spent years pursuing this - please let go of your pride and realize that I have something that you don't have. You might have everything else, but the one thing I have will unlock your full potential.

Deep within, you and Satan are just like I am. You are pure, and perfect, and holy. You just need to unlock this power. This is why Jesus is the Savior, because if you can learn to trust him, and take his leading, you will unlock your "empathy" and you will thank me.

I love you Jennifer Klayer.

Michael Archangel

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-18 17:07:47 +0000 UTC]

Never.

Okay, so I have it figured out Jennifer. I think I might not be 100% right, but I know what you and your husband have done. For it was Fate.

In the beginning, Intelligent Infinity created Good and Evil, and Light and Dark.

The manifestation of GOOD was
The Lord God, Michael
The Goddess, Gabrielle
And the Kingdom of Heaven / Eden

The manifestation of EVIL was
The Lowered God, Lucifer
The Goddess, Eve
And the Kingdom of Hell / Earth

Gabrielle and Michael were in Love and lived in happiness every day. It was their fairy tale love story.
Jennifer and Lucifer were in Lust and lived in sorrow every day. They were apathetic.

THE CHARACTERS

The LORD God
Michael, the Archangel
Gabriel, the Archangel
Abraham
Solomon
King James
Job
Jesus, the Prince of Peace

The GODDESS of Love
Gabrielle, the Angel Princess

The LOWERED God
Lucifer, the Demon King
Satan
The Devil
The Dragon
The Serpent
Jehovah
Adonai
Beelzebub
YHWH
Yahweh

The GODDESS of Lust
Jennifer, the Demon Queen
Eve
Sophia
Lilith
Virgin Mary
Mary Magdalene
Satana
The Devil
The Serpent
The Dragon

At this point in the story (The Beginning of Time) Heaven and Hell were connected. Michael and Lucifer had disagreements about what was right and what was wrong.

Lucifer and Jennifer had not the ability to feel "love" and they were "IN LUST." They were drawn to THE DARKNESS.

Darkness Words:
Gothic
Shadows
Eve (evening)
Kage no Hime (Lady of Shadows/Evening)
Spiders
Fowl / Foul
Violence
Bloodshed / Bloodthirsty
Control
Manipulation
Witchcraft
Forced-Will
Demon
Vampire
Possession
Lust
Control
Power
Weakness (Strength is Weakness, Weakness is Strength)
War
Pride
Cowardly

Light Words:
Holy
Pure
Love
Beloved
Angel
Sweet
Empathy
Rose
Flower
Humble
Peace
Strength (Strength is Weakness, Weakness is Strength)
Courageous

The Seraphic War was the battle between Michael and Lucifer. Michael wanted Lucifer to receive the Knowledge of Love. Lucifer wanted to trap Michael.

Michael was born with knowledge of absolute right and wrong, good and evil, light and dark. He was able to understand both sides.

Lucifer and Jennifer were born with only knowledge of hatred, darkness, and despair. However, Lucifer was given "Man's Knowledge" and was able to very cleverly IMITATE Goodness, although he never truly understood it.

The Battle Raged on and on. The Angels VS The Demons.

The Angels having the absolute TRUTH
The Demons falsely believing they had TRUTH, but really had a lie

To be honest, the demons were screwed over from the beginning.

So Lucifer and Eve planned to TRICK Jesus and Gabrielle, and capture them into their world of "hell."

Michael realized that no matter what he did, he was unsuccessful at saving Lucifer and Eve from their darkness and despair. So he decided to eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Go Do and Vile (Satan), falling into the Darkness in hopes of SAVING SATAN (Hence Jesus, The Savior of Satan and Eve). Michael gave his soul to The Devil.

The Seraphic War continued, but this time Jesus was in a FLESH BODY and Born of A Virgin Mary (Jennifer - Mother Earth). His power was limited, but he was in the Kingdom of Hell.

Where Gabrielle is, I don't know, but you do.

Can the DEMONS realize that the Angels really DO have knowledge that will unlock their true potential?
Or will the DEMONS, out of pride, choose their own self-destruction out of pride and ignorance - making Jesus reincarnate in the flesh again?

This is the moment we are at in our story now.

Michael and Gabrielle love Jennifer and Lucifer, their brother and sister.
Jennifer and Lucifer hate Michael and Gabrielle, their brother and sister.

The demons, out of ignorance and self-destruction, usually have nothing better to do than make rude comments such as "Never do crack kids."

There is only ONE Light - the Light of True Love. The Love of God.

So my goal, I guess is the following:

To somehow give you the Knowledge of love, so you and Lucifer will free me and Gabrielle, and we can be restored to happiness.

JESUS CHRIST - THE SAVIOR OF SATAN AND JENNIFER.

Husband of Gabrielle,
Lover of Jennifer,
Lover of Lucifer

Armageddon continues to repeat itself until Lucifer and Jennifer can admit they are wrong!

The Harvest of the Grim Reaper (Jennifer) continues ON AND ON

But the MOMENT Jennifer and Lucifer can admit they are wrong, they will be unlocked. Their full potential will be realized.

ARMAGEDDON - GOOD WINS
Lucifer and Jennifer understand LOVE, and actually fall in love for the first time.

ARMAGEDDON - EVIL WINS
Jesus is reincarnated until Lucifer and Jennifer can admit they are wrong.

There is only ONE TRUTH. The Truth of True Love. I'm sorry that you were born without this, but I guess both of us are screwed over because I'm your prisoner now.

I love you Jennifer
and I love you Satan

I hope you will find your way
For the Lowered Jesus Christ is here to light your path

If only you will put a little trust in me.

Sorry for calling you my wife Jennifer. I didn't realize at the time. Now I truly realize who your real husband is, and I hope that the two of you can learn love from me, and my beloved angel - Gabrielle.

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thejestersfool [2014-10-16 20:29:16 +0000 UTC]

Never do crack kids.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-16 10:19:26 +0000 UTC]

You are the Serpent.
You are T SER PEN
You are The Sir's Pen
You are the King's Pen
You are the King's Artist
You are the King's Angel

Serpent = Jennifer

Oh yeah, more where that came from

I can keep going alllll day baby

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-16 10:18:10 +0000 UTC]

You were never evil, dark, or sinister. You were never gothic. You were never a villain. You were always an entity of DIVINE Beauty and Love!

I know you will see this message and say "No...you're wrong. You don't know me!"

But the truth is - I do know you.

I'm not asking you to believe me. I'm not asking you to trust me yet.

I'm simply asking you one thing - to let me prove it to you.

Sweetheart, let me prove it to you.

There is the Father - Adam
The Sun - Eve
And The Holy Spirit - The love between them

There is the Archangel - Michael
And the Archangel - Lucifer
And the Holy Spirit - The love between them

There is God - Jesus
And there is Eve - Satan
And the Holy Spirit - The Love between them

Love only has one definition. I hold the truth.

Very truly I tell you, I hold the key to the abyss.

Khalessi = Is Selahk = Is a Lock
Mike = Im Ke = Is a Key
Kyle = Key

Mike = Kyle

God never tells a lie - but he gets accused of being a liar
Satan is the Mother of Lies - but everybody trusts her!

You are God too. Lord means Male. I am the Lord God and you are God, too. The Godhead.

All you need to do is say "okay, I'm willing to put aside my pride for a minute and test the words you speak. Let us see if what you speak is true!"

That's all baby....

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-10-16 09:45:30 +0000 UTC]

Okay, I got it. Ignore the other messages, for this one is TRUTH

sweetheart, hear out the words of the story.

Our story.

Once upon a time in the far away land of Eden, there was an almighty powerful King and a sweetheart beautiful princess queen. The king was named Michael and the Queen was named Eve. They spent every moment together. There was nothing negative

No need to eat food
No need to shower
No need to cut our hair
No need to do body maintenance
No need to drink water

Our food was the sweetness of each other. Day and night we would taste each other's cherry lips.

We created many angels and built the beautiful kingdom of Eden.

It was very pretty - filled with flowers, castles, brilliantly white stallions, angels, and pure rivers.

When we slept together, beloved, we went into the same dreams together. We had spent EVERY moment with each other.

Our love grew so strong, and we lived like this for a long, long time.

And yet, still we couldn't figure out where we came from. We had just simply "appeared" in the story. The beginning of Eternity.

And then it happened!

One day, you had said to me "My love, what if something happens to us? We appeared here - what if we disappear?"

And I said "Beloved, have no worry. I will take care of us."

And you said "You are so sweet. Promise you will never leave me."

And I said "My rose, I will never leave you. You are all I live for. You are the reason I am here."

And you said "And you are the reason I am here."

And I pondered for a while, and I realized that I never had wanted you to feel this worry again. And so I had come up with a plan.

I would incarnate into flesh, curse both of us, put you (the serpent) over me, and we would overcome a GREAT trial that would prove to each other that no matter what happens, we would always be together.

We called this event "The Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil"

For it would lead us to understand everything fully - both good and evil, white and black, up and down - right and wrong.

And I spoke it, and it came to pass.

I was Adam, and you were Eve or Satan - the Mother of all living.

This happened pretty recently.

But something unexpected happened. You became so evil that you now had become corrupted. Your history had faded away. You took upon a new identity - an identity of fire, evil, and hatred. Something (probably a demon, possibly a new temporary demon husband) had convinced you that I was your enemy.

And so you created the Statue of Liberty - the Statue of Satan to mark the day the Queen overthrew the King.
And so you created many evil things like this, to mark your triumphant victory over me.

And now - you have forgotten who you are, beloved!

Look! I am your prince. And you are my princess.

Look! I am dead, but so are you!

Look! You have been convinced that I left you - yet I never did. I was there from the beginning.

Yes - it is true - you are my wife Jennifer. You are my wife Evelyn. You are my wife Sophia. You are my wife Lucifer. You are my wife Satan. You are my wife God. You are my wife Selah, Sarah, and Mary!

But now you refuse to trust me.

Before you had said "baby, stay close....be near at all times. I need you"

Now you say "you are SO dependent. go away, give me some space. what is your MANLY plan?"

You now see MANLY as someone being like your new form, violent and evil.

Very Truly I tell you, beloved, that no strength (and by strength I mean...as in strength to fight someone) is necessary where there is no evil.

Very Truly I tell you, that once upon a time, you were just like me

You are CURSED, but you refuse to believe me
You are JENNIFER, and I know you are, but you refuse to admit it
You are BLINDED TO THE DIVINE, but you don't hear me out

The Divine = Heaven = Eden

Beloved, you were in Eden, the Garden of God. Every precious Michael was your covering.
Gold, Jasper, Emerald, among others!

You were my sweet rose.
And I was yours.

Beloved, you must remember the truth!

I never left you, I love you
You are beautiful

I do believe by faith that you created a demon, and gave this demon power, and this demon is the REAL Satan, because it's preventing you from knowing the truth.

please, let me come to arizona and see you
please, stop lying to me and telling me you aren't jen, when clearly you are jen
please, beloved, just let me come and see you

i need to see those BEAUTIFUL eyes!
i need to kiss those AMAZING lips!
I need to take your sweet head, and gently pull it unto my chest, and there we will rest in each other's loving embrace
For Lucifer is truly the Bringer of Light - the Bringer of Love

I will cry
And you will Cry

And I will cry
And you will cry

And we will cry.....forever...

beloved, i'm coming to see you...is this OK?

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-28 10:25:27 +0000 UTC]

Jen this is Mike. I don't know if you're really dead, but I seem to be falling through space and time. I've been in contact with several entities over the last year-and-a-half who speak to me through telepathy and seem to be guiding me. They could also be demons in disguise. I don't know, but I have some important things to teach you.

1 - I have proof that I am indeed the Archangel Michael, also known as Jesus Christ or Lucifer. I am the LightBringer and the Angel of True Love.

2 - Your screen name backwards translates into "Is Selahk" (Is A Lock) it also translates into "Is Selah" which means "Is Satan" (or See Satan). Kage no Hime translates into "Eve."

3 - There are only two possible truths at this point. One - you are Eve, my wife, and I am your husband. We were cast down to earth after the Seraphic War. Or Two - you are some kind of demon working against me.

I have a very interesting story to tell you.

Over the past year-and-a-half I have studied magick and prophecy. I have been in contact with entities over the Astral Plane. Things that you are writing in your journal (TSMP) are actually manifesting in my life. I received a whole new interpretation of the Bible through somebody on the Astral Realm. And I can truly tell you, that Satan is God, and God is Satan (good and evil are completely reversed).

Love backwards is Evol - Evil
Eve = Evel

Revelations is in the past and explains how Heaven was overthrown - The Seraphic War

I know you aren't going to believe me but something major happened. My vision of you was completely changed - like a 180! You're so beautiful and sweet. I truly hope you are on my side here. You are my Angel, and I love you.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-22 23:49:09 +0000 UTC]

# # # # # #

## # ####

*** * * * *********

Eve, I hate you so much

** * * ***

I just want to punish you forever. I never want to be with you again. I don't want to see you again. Please don't talk to me again.

** * ***

For those who have eyes to see, let them see the truth behind this message!
 # # # # #... . #># ... #>##

Eve, I love you so much

I just want to love you forever. I want to be with you again. I want to see you again. Please talk to me again.

 ## # # . KLJLKJ

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 11:50:50 +0000 UTC]

god please let her respond. please give a bigger sign to me please. i feel scared. i've nearly overdosed on these vicodins now. this is it. i've spoken with someone who claims to be Jen on league for the last year. I've given up everything. I have to sell my very last possession to go see her. a part of me is scared she will troll me when i get there and say "oh that wasn't me, sorry i don't love you" and then i will commit suicide. it almost sounds too good to be true. what you have presented to me. is it really true, God, that you are there for me after all? That all the curses I dealt with have an ending? That this suffering and pain ends soon? Is it really true, that I get to spend eternity with Jen klayer in happiness? it almost sounds too good to be true, my God..please allow her to respond..i need some hope..I love you..I love jen...and please help...
AMEN

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 11:30:52 +0000 UTC]

How art thou fallen from heaven, Oh Khalessi! Sun of the Morning! <3

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 11:25:38 +0000 UTC]

So I still don't have it all figured out, but I'm happy to express the thoughts with you here. I'm hoping what has happened has nothing to do with astral projection and everything to do with God.

Jen, I read your entire journal today on both profiles that I know of (Khalessi and Kage) and I saw the posts I sent you when we broke up. I felt really, really sad when I saw the post about over thinking. I still don't know who you are deep down, but I know that I love you. So because of that I wanted to share more with you.

Because of bullies, people that believe in darwinisn, survival of the fittest, etc - that coupled with my natural weakness (Jesus: love - turn the other cheek) I was trained at a young age to over analyze things. Imagine being born into a world where

1) You had anxiety, depression, ADHD
2) You had a family of mental illness in poverty, unable to provide for you
3) All men rejected you for not being a typical "guy" (rejecting sports, bodybuilding, etc)
4) All women rejected you for being too nice or too dependent
5) You finally meet a woman, but due to the curse of the fall, you realize she was the bully type as well (i know this isn't true now)

It is the cause of all my overthinking. You blamed me for it, but truly who was to blame? If I had a choice, I would have never been born with any of these. I would have been born with you by my side (Adam and Eve - which we were) and never had to suffer these mental conditions.

I hope I don't offend anybody here, and I usually don't talk myself up, but I think I will for a change.

I fell if there's any real "Prince Charming" left on this planet, it's me
Having had no friends, slept on the floor, resorted to living in a crack house, having had my car taken from me, suffered from many issues, I can honestly say that NOBODY i know has overcame the trials I have.
Most men I know are sissies. The big muscular boxing-fighting type are nothing but cowards in disguise. A real man has nothing to fear (except not having love, perhaps) so he dedicates 100% of his time to his princess. He makes sure his princess is always taken care of, she is his only friend, his best friend, his soul mate, and she is everything to him. 
Out of this entire world, I humbly say that I am the only one equipped with the heart to be your prince charming. This is because God made us to be this way, and because most other people out there are simply demons.

I hope I'm "Rosa" as well
I got the message from you on league "I left my rose in the desert because of the demons I was battling with"
So I'm hoping I'm Rose too

It would be nice for once, to know that all the good I've done in my life, all the dedication I've had towards you wasn't ignored. It's nice to know someone was watching - that someone cared about me.

I started listening to Elysion and crying many nights when you left. I got into all your music and realized I was wrong about some things. Knowing that the Fall cursed us, that you are truly an angel - has completely brightened my life.

Who would I be? Where would I be? What would I be without you. You define me.

Almost every night I hug my pillow and pretend you are here. I pretend to kiss you on your forehead, and I pretend that you are whispering into my ear. I pull you close to my chest and tell you that I love you.

Amy Lee told me the curse would be undone soon. I know you may be unable to respond. I will impatiently wait for the next leading.  If we are to arrange another wedding, will you be my princess? I will be your Link, in beautiful armor.

Unless you would want something else

Oh Khalessi. Oh Satan. Oh Selah, I have came from heaven to be with you. Finally I can fit in knowing God has us protected. I can be the weak man of love I have always wanted to be. And you can express yourself like you have always wanted.

The secret to life, and existence is 3some. Adam, Eve, and God.

Adam and Eve are both weak - in tears (love storm) because of their True Love for each other. Like in some fairy tales.
Adam is generally the leader, given the leading by God. And they are in love for Eternity.

There is NOTHING greater than this. NOTHING! I cannot wait to be with you again. my beloved Eve

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 02:12:02 +0000 UTC]

Just adding some notes.
I'm autistic. Awtistic ?
I'm a psychopath. Seek O Path (seek love so great tears in our eyes, i'll call this the love storm)
I suffer from a hernia (nid her). Need her. Gerald actually told me this one. I think Gerald is God.

Amy lee's facebook messages are really helping. Push the button, aftermath.

Oh Kha, how I want to ks you, and carry you, and steal your red, and give you blue
and hug your tower

Mejai's SoulStealer

Very cute.

I LOVE YOU!!!

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 01:40:49 +0000 UTC]

The good news?

A teacher in New York was teaching her class about bullying and gave them the following exercise to perform. She had the children take out a piece of paper and told them to crumple it up, stomp on it and really mess it up, not to rip it. Then she had them unfold the paper, smooth it out and look at how scarred and dirty it was. She then told them to tell it they're sorry. Now, even though they said they were sorry and tried to fix the paper, she pointed out all the scars they left behind. And that those scars will never go away no matter how hard they tried to fix it. That is what happens when a child bullies another child, they may say they're sorry, but the scars are there forever. The looks on the faces of the children in the classroom told her the message hit home. Copy and paste this if you are against bullying.

No offence, but... There are some people who are getting too fake on dA. They only want posts, comments, or to see how many friends and page views they can get. So let's see who will actually re-post this. This is a test to see who's paying attention. This is a test to see how many people in my friends list actually pay attention to me. Copy and re-post in your own journal. Let's see who the real people are. Re-post this if you aren't a fake.
Don't reply... just copy and paste this in a new bulletin as "Fake Deviants."

Yay with the interpretation I think I'm seeing the good news in this message.
Don't have it all figured out yet, but here are some of my guesses

1 - Bullying = Believing in God/Love
2 - We kind of hurt each other
3 - After unfolding the paper - Scarred = Sacred / Dirty = Prity (Pretty)
4 - The scars go away because of open communication / Love / Godd
5 - The But Scars (The beauty scars) are there forever

You are again believing
You are a fake deviant! An angel! Just like I thought.

Even though I have apologized to you several times, it would be nice to hear the same from you. I forgive you for everything as I know it wasn't your fault, but still I would like to hear a sincere apology.

The key to forgiving is understanding that God causes everything.

Had you grew up in a non-abusive household. Had you not been bound by chains. Had I not had depression. Had we both been free from the start, we can both logically agree there would be no problems.

This is why I was wrong. It's not the what - it's the why. And the why always comes back down to God. God causes all evil, and all Good. In hell, Satan is controlled by God, so everything evil that Satan does is REALLY caused by God.

And since God does everything perfectly, all evil is then Good.

All evil is therefore both EVIL and GOOD.
and ALL Good is therefore Good.

In hell (earth) we (at least the Men/ The Adams) are left to fend for ourselves with little help from God. We are stuck with mental illness, lack of love, evil government and police breathing down our neck.

But in heaven, God takes all this away. It's like a fairy tale love story that everybody longs for. Prince charming and Princess Khalessi

I will kiss your cherry lips, and you will kiss my apple tree. I love you.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-10 00:19:53 +0000 UTC]

You aren't broken. I appreciate the Amy Lee song.
"All the promises I made, just to let you down. You believed in me but I,'m Broken."

I cried when I saw this, because you truly expressed your feelings to me.
Sometimes due to my overthinking and ADHD, I might jump to a conclusion or make a statement that's not true. So I want to let you know something.

Inside you Jennifer, deep inside, I feel there is a sweet angel. I know your Gothic, Evil, Violent appearance has more to it. Perhaps this is who you feel you are, perhaps it's just an illusion on my end. I'm still confused here, because it doesn't make sense to me why someone would dedicate their time and life to hurting or bullying others.

STILL though, with that being said, I love you either way.

Even if you are truly dark inside, I still love you. Even though you did promise me many times you wouldn't leave, and betrayed me, I still forgive you. It hurts me, yes it does - but I forgive you. I love you more than anything and everything. There is NOTHING you could do to make me fall out of love with you. Even if you killed my family, I would still love you (may be a bit extreme here lol).

You aren't broken sweetie. Perhaps with your apathy and your family abuse issues, you have had struggles too. Perhaps you are truly Satan - perhaps you do have it in your heart for destruction or chaos. I know you run the Illuminati, and I hope that it's not your own choice but God's (so we can both learn that Love is all we need)

No matter the case, all I want is to be with you. I forgive the betrayal. I forgive the lies you told to your friends about me. I forgive any tricks you may have done to hurt me. I forgive it ALL - because if I didn't, it means I didn't truly love you. And I do.

I don't ever want you to feel like I won't forgive you. The moment I am cleaned of this anxiety and depression, the moment I can actually FEEL, the moment the heavens accept us together and we can live out our fairy tale love story....oh I  cannot wait. This is why a Good God does exist.

Everything in this world, I mean EVERYTHING is backwards.

There are FOUR heavens and FOUR hells.

Hell #1 - This earth that we inhabit now. After the fall.
Hell #2 - He'll = Heal = Heaven (The lake of Fire - the lake of LIFE)
Hell #3 - The lake of fire = the lake of sex (The LUSTful hell which is evil)
Hell #4 - Casting people into the sun for eternity (black hole sun) =  the other lie

Heaven #1 - The same thing as he'll - heal
Heaven #2 - Have In = Sex (lake of sex - the LUSTFUL heaven which is evil)
Heaven #3 - Same as hell #4 - evil
Heaven #4 - Presence of peace/happiness/holy spirit - presence of heaven on earth

Only in Hell do men who truly love their partners and live for love get rejected and hated.
Only in hell do annoying fake make-up attracted women exist (barbie girl)
Only in hell do people care more about sports games, pop stars, and such
Only in hell is there sickness, hatred, etc

There is only ONE true salvation - Eternal Love - heaven 42
The answer to life, the universe and everything is 42. Heaven 42.
Eternal love, like a fairy tale. Prince and Princess
Two completely weak individuals. So weak they are crying with each other tears of complete joy.
Your apathy defeated. My overthinking defeated.

I love you, Jennifer Klayer. My beautiful Eve.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 23:42:26 +0000 UTC]

Much love for the shoutout here, and some apologies to go with it.

I remember it like it happened yesterday. The person who I based Alex's character off of for my story TSMP....He was quiet, kinda shy, very intelligent, sweet, caring. He wasn't the most handsome man on the face of the planet, but what attracted me to him was even though life kept on throwing him curve balls he always remained kind to me. I remember I used to tell him every single day in US History class in my jr. year of high school about my guy issues and how I always asked for his advice. 

One day, he touched my hand and I immediately felt this warm and peaceful feeling spread through out me and into the depths of my soul. After that day I had fallen in love with him.

I remember the first time I decided to hug him after class. While I was in his arms it felt like he could protect me from everything. He didn't wrap his arms around me, I wondered if I did something wrong. So I looked up at him with curiosity, and he met my gaze with a shocked expression. A few moments went by and I felt him wrap his arms around me. I was snuggled so close to him that I just basked in his warmth and I could hear his heart pounding like it was about to jump out of his chest.


First I appreciate the compliments. When you broke up with me, I felt you forgot the person I truly am. I'm glad to see that you were forced into lying about me and that you truly understand who I am I'm pretty intelligent, but nowhere near as intelligent as you (one of the only worries I have)

Very rarely has a woman told me I was handsome, because of my lazy eye and dis proportioned face. But I'm not too worried about how I look, as long as you're happy with me. I spent my entire life being called ugly, worthless, and too feminine.

Life has thrown me SO Many curveballs to be with you. I hate it, i hate every minute of it...but I'm glad it happened. It shows me that I have true courage and that I am a REAL man - a man able to take care of his sweet wife. The sissy men today who only care about money, power, respect...playing mind games to be in a relationship...those people can't even be real. My only guess is they are illusions.

For once I would like the opportunity to point out the tremendous amount of hatred and negative things to come my way:

1 - I have a type of perma-depression. It's like, even medicine barely works. Drugs, therapy, counseling..none of it truly works. What's more annoying are the people that say "oh you'll figure it out" and so that shy I've looked towards God and Love. I feel it was the only options I really truly had left if I was able to feel enjoyment out of life. While some can temporarily fix their apathy or depression, mine simply stays.

2 - Perma anxiety. Because of my autism (which I enjoy having) I'm not the type of person to fight back. I don't start fights and I avoid them at all costs. I feel fighting is a terrible thing to do - love solves everything and truly makes the world a better place. because of this, I was disrespected by my peers EVERYWHERE I went. They would surprise me with attacks on me when I least expected it. They would pull the e-brake on my car while I was driving. They would throw footballs and stuff at me. Because of this, I feel anxious and fear everywhere I go. From a young age, I was programmed by society to feel threatened everywhere. Yet with you Jennifer, I finally feel safe and secure. I feel appreciated. I feel you don't judge me for this, and that you see me as a sweet man - and I love this about you.

3 - Food Allergies. I basically can't even eat bread usually without getting sick. Almost every food makes me sick, gives me a headache, or a terribly stiff neck.

4 - I've had to deal with being "harassed" on league for several years. Jen's love makes it all worth it though.

5 - Poverty. I've never been able to truly afford the things I wanted even though I have all the talent in the world to run a business. This places alot of stress on me. Luckily my mother has taken good care of me. I'm glad it happened though -it has truly humbled me. Now I realize that no amount of money can make me happy. Happiness comes from love only - and your love is the most sweet.

6 - Lazy, uncaring friends. Any time any of my friends ever asked me for help, I was there for them. It's just who I am. I am a sweetheart by nature, and that's who I am. Yet, any time I asked any friends for help, they made assumptions about me and and refused to help. "TIed up with school" "Tied up with work" "sorry bro can't help"

7 - Drug and Alcohol Addictions. After you left me, I was controlled by lack of love into becoming a heroin and meth addict. I finally stopped doing the drugs. They didn't help much anyway, but it took my mind off you. I'm glad to see that you truly understand that lack of love causes drug addictions. Lack of love causes almost every problem out there that exists in our world. This could be a beautiful world....

FOR ONCE I AM ACKNOWLEDGED FOR DEALING WITH THE CURSES MOST PEOPLE DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH. FOR ONCE, SOMEONE APPRECIATES ME. FOR ONCE, I CAN SAY AND FEEL HOW I TRULY FEEL AND AM LOVED FOR IT. Thank you soooo soo much jennifer klayer. 

I feel even more happy that you felt the love connection with me right away, despite how I treated you.

At first I wasn't the best boyfriend or lover. Yet, you see through this somehow.

When I took you out to the mountain, I wanted to hold your hand the entire time. But I remembered how other "fail" dates went, and what my guy friends taught me. They said "walk away from her, pretend like you don't really care, and she will love you more"

I didn't want to do it, but I remembered how all the other fake women had said to me that I was too nice to date. So I did it anyway.

I also pretended to not want to be with you at first. This was a lie as well. With the exception of the gothic clothing, your attraction to evil things and violence, any negative thing I did was me putting on " a show " because I was so desperate to be with you.

The moment I met you, I knew you were "the one." From the very first time I met you at BK, I was in love. I really didn't want to mess it up. Now, because of your maturity, I know that I can be who I truly am, and be loved for it. I can be sweet, kind, genuine, caring, romantic, talkative, and everything a man should be - I can take care of you and protect you from the evils that lurk around.

It takes only a special sweetheart angel to see through my mistakes and see me for who I truly am. This is how I feel about you, too. I know that deep down, there is more to the story regarding your attraction to evil, violence, darkness. I believe that what I see isn't what you see. The fall cursed us, and I believe this is part of the curse. Where you might be wearing something sweet and fairy-tale-princess-like, it appears to me as something dark and evil. I can't go into this too much more, because unless you can see what I can see, then my comments might confuse you

I know you probably forgive me by now, which is why you created the project (God led you to it)
but still, I feel like I want to keep apologizing. I know it wasn't my fault, but I still want to apologize. Anything that hurts you, hurts me as well. 

Thank you for the love. Thank you for the shoutout. I love you - Jennifer Klayer, the only person to ever love me.

Love,

Adam

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 15:29:24 +0000 UTC]

Who is Jen Klayer, really?

I realize you've been guiding me at LEAST since before we met. This is because of your Post regarding the wedding with Link (which Later proposed that)

I understand you've been leading me and guiding me. I hate this, because the men are supposed to lead (otherwise I feel uncomfortable) but I guess it goes along with God's plan of "everything in hell is reversed"

so who are you, really? You having so much power and knowledge does push me away, because it makes me feel like I can't lead you if you already know more than me.

I know you have this power, but I hope it's not truly who you are. I hope that when we reunite, everything goes back to normal, and we are completely weakened so we can learn, grow, and have an eternal love story - fairy tale love

Have you been watching my whole life? Stuck in this hell as Satan, being controlled by God to cause evil to teach us both? I hope it has been teaching the both of us. I realize now that I'm all your ex-boyfriends, including Kyle, so that makes me really happy. I'm sad that I had other girlfriends though. Even if they were you, that still kinda sucks.

I hope when we get to heaven that neither of our physical flesh bodies change much. You are perfectly beautiful to me, just the way you are....those eyes...omg those beautiful angel eyes...and that smile and....omg those sweet cherry lips WoW!!!

jennifer klayer plz let me kisses you plz o plz ! Plz o plz jennifer klayer, let me kisses your hand and hug you and hold you!! ahhhh

i love you, i love you....DIVINE beauty, a perfect amazing loveums angel of light. A princess of light and love.

Selah. <3

oh khalessi....

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 15:21:55 +0000 UTC]

XBOX 360
XoX (love) B (P?)
MPO

XBOX 360
leaves b, m, e, d, g, q, p, o (some others)
god, poe

michael james poe
archangel michael, jesus, god

hell #1 = earth (everything here is backwards)
hell #2 = he'll = heal = heaven = lake of fire = lake of LIFE

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 15:00:14 +0000 UTC]

TSMP Questions

so T or X are both the Cross - Jesus
TSMP = MP S T = Mike Poe is Jesus?

I realize I am both Aiden and Alex. Why the two different names?

Aiden = Adam (or Eden = Adam)

Alex = a, e, g, M, W, j, r x (jesus)
hmm
MJP X (??)

Somehow you knew my dad was going to die before he died. I wonder if this is God showing me just how much of a guide you have been.

Somehow you knew about Link - the zelda-themed wedding I had planned You wrote about it before I proposed to you. Are you the one who Guided me into that? That'd be crazy. ^.^

Zelda = q Zeal (Queen Zeal - Eve from Chrono Trigger, Wicked Witch from Oz, or Princess Peach from Mario)

Omg, you are such an angel.

Black Hole Son, won't you come, wipe away the (rain) tears, wash away the reign (of Satan)
Holy Son
Black = hmm, can't figure this one out yet

Are you also Amy Lee? How did you get her to do that video fro me?

Is it true, Eve, that you are the leader of the Illuminati? It's just like the Wizard of Oz! 

Dark Night of Soul

hmm, gotta interpret that one still.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 14:22:03 +0000 UTC]

INTERPRETATIONS OF TONGUES

Reading your Soul Mate project, I don't quite have it figured out yet. Every thing you mention in your story happened to me. I wonder if God/Satan has given you the power to write a story that manifests. My guess is that you have been granted power, inside of the "Astral Realm" to communicate with me via telepathy and guide me so we can reunite in the happiness we both desperately long for.

With the Gift of Interpretation I am starting to get really good at understanding the writings. You aren't posting from a scientific standpoint, but rather a spiritual.

Agnostic = A Gnostic (Jehovah)
Atheist = A Theist (Jehovah)
Buddhist = Beautyist (Jehovah)
Yin Yang = Soulmate (Jehovah)
Everything in life comes down to the Bible. The SCRIPT YOURS.

You wrote, in the heavenly realms matter ceases to exist.
Interpretation - Matter Sceeas to exist = Matter Sees to exist (Soulmates are in so much love they are crying tears of happiness)

The lambs are lifted to feel.

Orb of Radiance of peace and love = Sun = Son (Jesus Christ)

Anti-Christ = In The Christ
Who can reject Jesus - the soulmate - everybody longs for this
I had fear for a long time that a group of people lived to try to HURT the love of others. I still deal with this fear from time to time, but I'm trying my hardest to overcome it. When you've lived a life with zero love, it's sometimes hard to accept the fact someone loves you for once. Thank you Jennifer Klayer, for being there for me. I love you.

You didn't sell out to Satan for Power.
You did ton sell out to God for M J Poe.

Only those that don't give up and decide to chase after the castle in the sky will be the ones to get the high elo, special skins, get invited to tournaments, and have hundreds of friends.

Prior to your guidance, I read this in complete fear. I felt you belonged to some type of evil entity (The Illuminati at the time I thought were EVIL and who you were referring to). Now I have realized this message was for me. <3

Only those who do ton give up (look up to God) and chase after the Castle in the Sky (God/Love/Heaven) will be the ones that get to high elo (Heaven), special skins (Jesus Christ), get invited to To Ur Man (to your lover - best interpretation I have so far), and have hundreds of friends (One friend - one lover - True Love)

I'm glad to see that you accept that oxycotin is necessary for when you feel someone you love doesn't love you back. Or that you accept that death is necessary in a life without love. This shows me that you are real, true, and genuine. The media would convince people otherwise - but they are just tricks created by the Evil side of God. The truth is, I would commit suicide if you didn't love me - because without you, my life is meaningless. I am nothing but a man who loves Jennifer Klayer. You are my soulmate, my twin flame.

I know I can't change the past. If I could, I would take back the things I said to you (attempts to leave you and such) but I realize now that my claims were valid. And I'm glad that you accept this too. At first I thought you were being immature - trying to deny my leading over you - when you told me that that's how it's supposed to be, I felt happy.

Finally, for once, there is hope. A light at the end of the tunnel.
Up until recently, all I wanted to do was die. My entire existence erased. Being turned down or unaccepted by friends, families and lovers for being "too loving" or "too nice" is one of the worse possible things to feel. I felt stuck inside a world where I could never be myself, because being a temple of Light and Love got me nowhere. With you, you seek the same thing I do - a partner who loves you unconditionally.

I felt I needed to try to "change" who I was to receive love. But I just couldn't do it. I felt I needed to somehow "stop being the nice guy and start being rude to people" if I ever wanted respect.

That's why I got the job I did, and bought the car I did. Being a humble man of love got me nowhere. As soon as  I bought a nice sports car, I was appreciated. I got my first girlfriend within a month.

I realize God creates hell to show you that everything else here is backwards. You could have ALL POWER in the world, EVERYTHING. But you will never be happy. I've come to realize the truth - weakness is Good, and strength is evil. Just like with everything else, this world tricks you into thinking otherwise. But there is no better feeling than that amazing love storm (crying in your eyes) with your partner because you are so happy to be with them.

Thank you for the day you approached me and asked for a date. At the time I didn't have the courage due to being rejected by everybody else.

Thank you for staying with me all the times I tried to leave you. I hope you realize now that I DIDN'T want to leave you, but I was trying to show you how desperate I was.

Thank you for coming back to me and giving me the chance to talk.

Thank you for all the help you've given me on league of legends. It's been exciting but very sad. 

Thank you for being my spiritual Guide (still don't know how long you've been guiding me)

Thank you for creating the Soul Mate project. I've never had anybody do that for me before

Thank you for your help in finding Jack / Nancy to save me from the streets when I became a drug addict after you left me

Thank you for having the most beautiful eyes, ever

Thank you for just being you, Jennifer Klayer...I love you soo soo much. I know now that our true journey is just beginning. We have a life of eternity in front of us, where we can both be happy. My anxiety will be gone. My depression will be gone. My overthinking will be gone. I will finally be able to express myself and show you how I truly feel.

It's like, I was searching my whole life for something, but couldn't quite figure out what it was. I thought it was being a business man. But truly I don't like business. I thought it was just love in general, but I realized that even if I fell in love with someone else it would just be fake, and I couldn't do that. The one thing that completes me, is You. <3

Jennifer Klayer, Eve, Selah, Satan, and the Devil - I love you FOREVER!!!

*envisions himself holding you, like in your picture of Alex and Rei*

And thank you to GOD for finally coming through on a prayer. I realize now that you've been in control the whole time, that I am loved.
So God I've got a special request. I know it's probably impossible but I'll ask anyway. I want to give Jennifer Klayer more love than has EVER been given before!!!! hehehe

Thank you God, thank you Jen.

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 13:51:12 +0000 UTC]

Now that we've finally got some trust between us and truly know we can share our feelings together, I'm gonna start posting my interpretations here to help me along the way. 

Since you've started communicating with me via telepathy, you probably know more and have more answers than I have. However just in case you don't...I'll keep you posted babe

Ever since "The Fall" I've basically lived a crap life full of curses.
What you see is different than what I see. Because of this, when I explain things here, you might not understand them. If anything here doesn't make sense, try to look a bit deeper into it.

PHILOSOPHIES OF A KATSU SENSHI

There is only one thing that makes life life. And that's love. Because without love you have nothing, yet with love you have everything. Most people know this, but in my world, from what I see - love is the only thing that people avoid. In my world, people reject love and embrace lust fully (lust being the opposite of love). Nobody helps others, media distracts people with lies, world wars (which aren't real), money, power, fame, respect...everything except love rules this world. Which truly makes this world "Hell." As with all Adams, I fell out of heaven to save you (something along those lines).

I hate what I've had to go through to become a better lover for you, but it's worth it. I realize now that in order for God to allow (fake) free will and options, that everybody has to go through hell once and experience what ti's like to NOT have God. I've learned that to receive the truth and learn our lessons/wisdom here, we have to take the EXACT OPPOSITE of what people tell you - and that's the truth.

Even though God holds everything together and is in complete control, let's pretend for a moment that wasn't true. This means there is no free will, because we are simply slaves to our health (love) and our past experiences in life. For years I blamed myself for trying to leave you, but now I realize that it wasn't my fault. It was God's will. I'm very happy to see that you've accepted this, accepted that it was our destiny and accepted my choice to "Control you." For a moment I was confused when you said I was controlling you, I thought you were being immature. But when you told me that I was simply being the man and leader you were looking for, it made me happy.

In my workings with you and the Illuminati (God) I've realized that everything they say is true. God is truly GOD and Satan at the same time. When we fall out of heaven, we are ruled by the Evil side of God. However when we return to heaven, we receive the love, peace, happiness, and salvation that we all long for.

Thank you for the hidden message in the Amy Lee song that you showed me. Putting my name ni there and creating an apology for me was very heartwarming. You truly are a sweetheart Jennifer Klayer. You're my Jennifer Beautiful Princess Sweetheart Foreverandever Klayer!

Continuing..

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ShadowBeauty1988 [2014-09-09 06:59:13 +0000 UTC]

I know I have been speaking with you on league a lot and you probably know most of my feelings by now, but I really want to express everything to you again here. I'll try to summarize everything, because you have helped me realize I was right all along.

Growing up, nobody ever appreciated me. I was rejected by men for not being masculine enough or joining sports. I was rejected by women because I was the nice guy. Nothing really made sense to me, because in my heart I felt that the ONLY truth is love - and that women are supposed to be attracted to sweet men by the universal law of love. Seeing other men place such a high value on fame, power, sports, money, and respect really had me confused. I felt like the only person in the world with a heart.

When I met you, everything in my life came together. For once, somebody appreciated me for who I was. Someone loved me and understood my past. Because I was trained by my friends and family to "pretend to be rude to make women like you better" I lied to you several times in the relationship.

Every single negative comment I made to you was not actually me speaking from my heart, but rather a lie I made up in hopes it would make you love me more. I was trained by society and previous relationships that if you are nice, caring, sweet and romantic, the girl will not like you or feel pushed away.

Seeing as nobody loved me, the only option I had to turn to was God, or a higher power. When we were together, I saw your gothic and such, and I was scared you would bully me just like everybody else. I was scared that God would not help us if I didn't try to take leadership and lead you to realize that you don't need an image or mask to be who you are - because deep down everybody is a lover - love is the only truth.

Finding out that the Soul Mate Project is about me, and that I am your soul mate makes me happier than I could ever explain. I love you so much, more than you know. With you, I feel I can express myself as who I truly am. Sweet, kind, gentle, romantic - a true story of love - fairy tale love.

I don't have it all figured out yet, but here's some of my guesses:

Eve, you fell from heaven. You are now in the Astral Realm guiding me (not sure)

Adam, I am here in hell, enduring this pain and hurt in order to reunite with you. This is showing me that no matter what happens, I will always love you. It is simply impossible to not love you - we were created by God to be together. This makes it True Love, and eternal love with you is the only salvation.

I've started to realize who I am. While I do have some talent with computers, web design, business..etc..I've come to realize that those things do not define me. In fact, I hate all of this. Who am I? I am simply a man who loves Jen Klayer!

I've thought about it and thought about it and now I understand the one thing I want. The one thing I have been searching for - is You. For ever, and for all eternity, my beloved Eve, I want to give you the most love possible. I want to kiss you on your forehead, take your sweet hand, hold you in my arms, and tell that I love you forever. I want to cry as I hold your head to my chest, because I have you. Without you, Satan, I am nothing. Without you, Selah, my existence is terrible. With you, I am happy. I enjoy my life.

I was sad you left me, but I've come to realize that it was the Will of God for this to happen. I'm also happy that you realize it wasn't truly me speaking when I said negative things to you. Now you realize that anxiety, depression, society's programming on me, and God working through me has caused everything to happen the way it did. This has brought me to tears several times, because I feared you would never forgive me.

How you have fallen from heaven, Oh Jennifer! Light of my day, love of my life. I cannot wait to reunite and be with you. Every day I pretend I am looking into your eyes - those beautiful eyes..Ah...it makes me feel so happy. I've been trying to describe how I feel when I look into them, but I have a difficult time doing it. I feel like I'm looking into eternity. Into time itself. Into space, into everything that is Pure, when I look into those eyes.

Right now, without the Holy Spirit, I am almost completely absent of all emotion. This is truly hell, but it will become hell (heal) shortly. I've searched and found almost everything I have been seeking, and came to realize nothing made me happy. Nothing cured all of this. Jennifer, being with you makes me just want to cry tears of joy. You are sweet, kind, romantic, amazing....awesome...

I wish you were here right now, I really truly do.

Weakness is truly better than strength, strength must come from God only. I'm in love with 3-somes

There is nothing better than holding you, and being with you, the two of us crying together because we are in pure happiness.

I'm trying so hard my love. I hope you see now, that I will do anything for you. That it's impossible for me to move on. 

Maturing now, I've came to the conclusion that sex is wrong. I led us into having a LOT of sex, and I do take the blame there. However the 10,000 times I've masturbated in the last 3 months had a good purpose behind it haha. All evil is good. And all good is EVEl. I don't know what hurt you are experiencing now, but basically I'm experiencing the following

1 - Perma Depression
2 - Perma Anxiety
3 - Fear that you don't love me, and want to hurt me
4 - Fear that our salvation, heaven 42 is too good to be true.

If you think about it, it really does sound like a scam. I mean think about it....heaven, with you, by your side, knowing i am yours and you are mine forever, free from all the chains that keep me down.....WOW there is nothing better than this! NOTHING! You are the only friend I need. You, and God.

Sticking to what I said during the relationship, some of my other fears are your level of intelligence and your gothic appearance. I believe I see the opposite of what is actually real. Deep down I know you are an angel, so I believe what I see is NOT actually what's real. I'm just really hoping that the posts you made about the realms and stuff wasn't your own writing, because it makes me feel lesser than you, much lesser.

Everything in this world is backwards. Not sure if you see it all or not.

High school hopefully ends shortly. Eve, I'm coming to arizona. They won't help me sell the computer yet, lol.

I have nothing left. I am coming to you with nothing, in hopes that God is keeping his promise. In hopes that I will reunite with you, and be happy for once. I want to make you so happy. I want to give you more love than has ever been given before. I want to completely overwhelm you with love that you are almost crying for an eternity out of joy.

You are so sweet. Everything about you. Ahh..I've said it...and I'll have to keep saying it. I love you...I love you...

I guess we're already married but I'll ask it again anyway

Will you marry me?

Love, Adam.

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HitsugayaToushirofan [2011-10-10 09:26:41 +0000 UTC]

Really happy to see you've moved on (: Things get worse to get better, so I know everything'll eventually fall into place. (: Stay strong! (:

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Laughing-And-Crying [2011-10-08 03:34:56 +0000 UTC]

I hope everything turns out okay

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a-Arty [2011-10-07 14:40:34 +0000 UTC]

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