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| MemoryRayneshades
MemoryRayneshades
♂️
[15848634]
[2010-12-02 02:10:45 +0000 UTC]
"Memory Angel Rayneshades"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 0; Deviations: 47; Watchers: 23
Watching: 9; Pageviews: 3785; Comments Made: 39; Friends: 9
# Interests
Favorite games: Pokemon, Final Fantasy, Kingdom HeartsFavorite gaming platform: Probably Playstation
Other Interests: Singing/Photography
# About me
Hiii :3 I'm Memory Angel Rayneshades ^-^ It's awesome to meet you :3 So thank you for taking the time to read my little bio..First about me ^.^ I love animals and nature..Love to explore :] Favorite animals are kitties :3..Favorite color is Purple. Food is Japanese. I Love Anime :D It's a big part of who I am today :] pretty much anything Japanese =] I have 3 cats Skitty Alice and Dusty (Skitty is really the only one thats mine) ummm I'm a vegan :D (meaning no animal noms o.O) and I was a vegitarian 4 years before that ....I love to cuddle =] snuggling is amazing and yea ^^ I enjoy hairstyling and makeup I love music a super mega lot =o like I have every type of music imaginable on my Laptop.. I plan to be a singer one day..I really like to inspire people into being themselves..Being open..Being happy..Not giving up on things or people..Suicide awareness..Pretty much really emotional stuff..I've been through a lot in my life and I realize that there are so many people out there like me and people who have it worse off..So I guess I'll begin my story..When I was born my mother was addicted to so many drugs..She was an alcoholic as well..unfortunately I honestly don't think she wanted me..my Father was selling drugs getting in fights and generally just a really bad guy..After I was born my mom and dad had broken up..My grandma had just gotten off of some heavy drugs because when her husband killed himself..She just wanted the pain to go away..After having picked me up at the hospital when I was born she said she felt happy again..a feeling she hadn't felt since her husband died..My mom was gonna give me up for adoption cause she didn't want me..So my grandma decided she wanted me..but my mom didn't wanna give me to her..so after having bribed her with money and a place to stay for a bit..She gave me up to my grandma..my mom left shortly after and went to California..My dad kept going to Prison for periods of time..so my Grandma and Grandpa raised me........I grew up in Madison Wisconsin and I had ADHD which makes it hard for people to pay attention along with a few other side affects as a result It was almost impossible to make friends..no one liked me..they all thought I was a freak or a monster and as a result I began to hate everyone and everything.....There was two incidents where I was molested when I was young..I won't get into them but yeah..anyway..I had one friend who I still am friends with to this day and although he never really helped me with any problems..it was nice to have a friend..I got picked on daily..beat up often just for being who I was at the time..a was impulsive back then and people teased me..getting into fights and gosh..it was just one of the worst times in my life..my family knew the struggles I had and tried their hardest to help me..but honestly it didn't help much..pain was my only feeling I would get..physical and emotional..getting black eyes and cuts on my body isn't exactly fun..My dad had married this lady who made my life even worse..she would mess with my head..and do things that are just really..unacceptable would be a good term..I had an incident with her once where a kid in the neighborhood took a gum wad and put it on the lock of her door..she automatically assumed it was me..so she came over to my house found me got the gum wad sticky smeared my hair and slammed me to the ground..I was in tears cause I had no idea what had happened..my grandma came rushing in and helped me out by telling her to leave.. didn't do much since the damage was done..I had to get a serious hair cut..there are many more incidents with her but I gotta move on..her daughter was no better at times..when I was younger I loved the idea of sleep overs but I could never really follow through with them..I slept over at their house once and after that for the longest time she wouldn't come over to my house..apparently she accused me of raping her..even though the accusation was proven false..it just hurt that she did that..She too did other things to hurt me..but at this point..I've blocked them from my mind..the memories with always be there but I have lots of friends to help me cope so it's okay ^^ and to be honest..I don't hate them that badly..sure they both did things to hurt me and upset me..but you know..It's okay..the sadness and pain made me stronger =] I'm pleased I never gave up..if I had I wouldn't have met so many amazing people out there...Middle school was the same as elementary school just worse..I got beat up more and teased more..High school..I still didn't really have friends..after I got in 11th grade I decided you know what..I'm gonna be who I truly am who I truly think I should be and so I changed my appearance and my attitude towards everything :3 I began to be happier towards most situations..though I was still pretty emotional..I would get clingy at times and a little dramatic..but in the end life..what it is really is an experience..I could've killed myself long ago but I really wanna experience things and enjoy the world..I have a very low opinion of myself..I hate the way I look though I take pictures because some people like the way I look >< I try so hard to better myself and help others that it gets hard sometimes..I won't give up no matter how stressful or painful or emotional anything gets..you only get one life..so live it up :] do what makes you happy..I don't hate people the best way in my opinion if you don't like someone just..ignore them..that's really the best option..don't let them take your ability to be free away..Don't let anyone tell you who to be..you are yourself a unique individual who has good and bad qualities..because no one is perfect and that's just the way it is..Emotions were always hard for me to deal with..I would get upset or cry often over small things and then when it came to big things..I would get severely depressed..there was a time when I was going out with someone..and they broke up with me after a few months and I was devastated maybe because it was my first relationship..a few relationships later I met a boy..his name was Chris Rayneshades..he changed my life..without him..I wouldn't be who I am today..it sounds awful but I met him on myspace..we both Lived in Madison and we were gonna meet up eventually but things happened..I honestly Love Chris I don't talk about many relationships..but this was special..I'd never met someone so caring so amazing like him before..he truly loved animals..kitties were his favorite too =] we talked for hours and hours..we would talk about our families..and our hardships..his family wasn't the greatest to him..he was often abused..his father loved him he had nothing but good to say about him..though his father disappeared..anyway..about 2 months after we began talking he..just disappeared..without a trace..his best friend helped me cope with the pain of losing him..she used to live next door to him and they just grew into the best of friends..I waited so long for him to come back because..I truly loved him I felt he was the one..and 3 years later he came back to me..explaining everything that had happened..the pain he went through the tragic stories..apparently his mother got accused of child abuse even though she did she eventually got her kids back who had been taken away from her..she decided they couldn't stay in Wisconsin and made them all move to California..even though it had been so long and I'd thought he forgot about me he didn't and he missed me very much..we talked like we used to and even said that after he graduated High school he'd come back to Madison and stay with me..he vanished again but this time I'm sure it was because his mother caught him on the computer..I'll always love him..but for now he's gone and if he comes back I'll be happy if not..well even though I'll always love him and probably wait for him I will probably open my heart to new things new people and new relationships because even though you can love someone so much..it may not always work out..and when that happens you just have to move on..as painful as it is..Life has so many experiences to offer..good and bad..and if you can experience as many as you can your life will be awesome :] ...I hope you enjoyed reading my small bio..and Thank you again for taking the time to read it..I do try to respond to all the messages I get but it does get hard at times and I apologize if I don't respond..I don't take Drama or hate they both will probably be ignored =/ hate is really immature..when you hate someone it's like taking in poison... you're only killing yourself..So I hope to hear from you that wish to talk to me take care and No giving up ^^ <3 ByeeeeeeeeeCurrent Residence: Madison, Wisconsin
# Comments
Comments: 26
Oh my goodness<3 you are extremely amazing. I read all of your bio & just wow. :c. It;s a good thing you're happy though =] I love your attitude & personality towards things ^^
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Your life must be really hard being able to afford all those clothes from Hot Topic. o:
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I don't shop at hot topic anymore to be honest my shirts come from Walmart..hence why they all tend to be black and look like cheap material..
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Nice photos. Love the hair. I know what it is like to have a horrible stepmother. Thankfully mine is out of my life now. Anyways, peace out.
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I read your Bio i hope things get better for you and i love your style ur hair and the way u dress and such X3 i wear cat ears and a fox tail everywhere i go and i know i get made fun of alot in school and everywhere i go but u do it cause u love it and wanna be yourself and be happy with urself
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yeah it's not an easy life getting made fun of will always be a part of it..anything that doesn't appear "normal".. >< but keep yourself true and be the best you you can be :]
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So i totally just read your whole bio thing and first off i want to say what you said in there reminds me a lot of Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides (he is like my Idol ^_^), like the stuff about how you can over come bad things. And second I live in Madison too! That would be kinda cool if I ever got to meet you haha ^_^ You are defiantly an awesome person and I wish you the best with your singing/song writing ^_^
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There is a lot of differences between he and I...but people think that of Dahvie Vanity and I too ...I'll always be different weather it's music style or the way I was raised or even how I look..I appreciate your encouragement..so Thank you <3
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You're very welcome ^_^
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You are a beautiful person. I hope that you will find that requitted love one day soon and follow your dreams...chances are, you will answer someone's prayers. good luck with your singing/writting career!!! i myself am an aspiring writer...i pray for your success!
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thank you..I never plan to give up even in the darkest of times I will stay strong and I hope that my friends and fans will do the same
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FRIENDSHIP WEEK~♥♥~
Send this to at least 15 people you love.
Including me if you care for me! *Let's see how many hearts you get!*
Please continue sending your own love to those you care for.
FAKE FRIENDS: Will ignore it ♥♥
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Hell yes. Your awesome, have a
Nice to meet ya.
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your welcome for the watch and i find your *short* bio very interesting and sad.
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WELCOME TO dA, DAMMIT. xD And holy shat, your about thing is long
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Welcome To DeviantART.
I Like Your Picturezz (:
I GIVE U LLAMA!
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Thanks for the add -gives you many many hugs and kisses-
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