MetallicDevil In reply to Maggotessa [2011-03-30 12:55:23 +0000 UTC]

awww, well thank you for being tremendously kind and checking out my gallery.
I do lack the finesse for art and my inspiration for art has been rather lacking as of late due to my Stained Glass Cieling has been shattered due to some small pilgrim minded assholes. The recent things I have drawn are: Jussi from the 69 eyes and The Loveable failure Du Grell one. I plan on pursuing art in college and maybe jusst maybe that part of my soul can slowly start to de-thaw from its prison of Ice and blossom again.

Yes, My ears completely adore C.O.f right now. They by far are a band I can listen to over and over and never get tired of them.
Pining a favorite C.O.F song would be hard. Although I Do love these the most: The byronic Man(ignoring Ville Vallo parts.), Babylon A.D.(so glad for the Madness.), Rise of the Pentagram, Death Magick for Adepts and a couple from the Darkly Darkly Venus Aversa C.D. I originally bought the Special Edition Boxed Set, except lost most of it in a housefire that I narrowly escaped. I was sleeping as it started and was burning the room next to me to charcoaled beems, but I still have all the c.d.'s except for the DvD and massive Art/Album book. So all wasnt lost. ^vv^

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Maggotessa In reply to MetallicDevil [2011-03-31 00:04:13 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome. I like your abstract paintings best. I've never been able to paint.

Yeah, I've never been much of a H.I.M. fan, either. I just don't really see the appeal. I have yet to listen to Darkly Darkly Venus Aversa, but I really want to. Nymphetamine (Overdose version) is one of my favorites, and so is Her Ghost In The Fog. I'll admit that I don't listen to COF as much as other bands though, like Slipknot, Children of Bodom, Dimmu Borgir and Watain. I like Finntroll, Deathstars, Evanescence, Emilie Autumn, and Eluveitie, as well.

Those stupid thugs BROKE your stained glass ceiling?! Holy shit, how much money would it take to replace it? Thats a shame. People are so effing stupid. And a housefire, too? You're tough! I would've been crying for all sorts of reasons.

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MetallicDevil In reply to Maggotessa [2011-04-01 06:25:50 +0000 UTC]

lmfao the breaking of meh stained Glass Cieling was a Figure of Speech. O.o I havnt created one of those. It would be interesting to do. I looooooong to be able to do art again.

The cost of thaaat so called Glass Cieling is A Few AssHeaded Individuals Souls&Minds. Basically signing their own Enslavement to me&being good Mild Mannered Beings. ^vv^ Okies one being in general. The other one is my mom and we have patched up our feelings torwards each other.

Yeaaaah, My glass cieling shattered under circumstances and Neanderthalic yelling and such and I couldnt get the Neanderthals to shutup soo I took a drastic measure and Jabbed myself in the arm four times, so they would fuckig stfu. Im not a verry vocal person and the Simple Minded Neanderthals voices were like Ear Shattering Howler monkeys, so in order for me to Even utter over that. I have to Inhale a Biiig breathe of air and than Keel over and scream my lungs out pretty much. -_- Which probably wouldnt of been as effective. >.> Yusss people are extremely Ignorant and Infantile.

Also with the housefire, I did break out into Hysterics and started sobbing when My friend who happened to be passing by helped me off the s.u.v and carried me to the car, than I had to go to an ambulance to get checked out bc I had black soot smears going into my nostrils. Than I seen a massive lick of flame jut outwards and the fire looked like it was spreading to my room, so I pretty much let out and Ear Shattering Banshee Shreik.(sounded like what a true banshee would sound like.) SO the peopel closed the doors of the ambulance so my heart rate etc...etc...etc wasnt soo high. I happened to have level one Carbon Menoxide poisoning. I could of coped better. Except I have had soo much loss in my life in general, that enough is enough, and I have pretty much have had Enough. Next loss that Happens Im definitely NOT moving and inch from wherever I happen to be when it occurs.

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Maggotessa In reply to MetallicDevil [2011-04-01 08:11:26 +0000 UTC]

I see. I SO fail at understanding poetic euphemisms. So, are you saying you're in an artist's funk? (Can't get inspiration, can't seem to put anything on paper) I just got some really nice new markers about 5 days ago, but haven't even used them yet because I can't think of anything to draw. I love the X-Men, so I'll probably do fanart of an existing character.

Voices....I've got a lot of shit, but I guess I'm lucky that voices isn't one of them. That must be very difficult to live with; you deserve mad props for coping so well.

Fire scares me. Well, actually, a lot of things scare me. I don't like water, either. Can't even freaking swim...Anyways, I understand how you feel about moving. I'm 16, and my family has moved at least 13 times since I was born. We've lived in this town (Tucson, AZ) for almost four years and I'm hearing talk of moving again. I'm gonna be pissed if we end up moving, 'cause all my good 'resources' are here. I have an awesome psychiatrist, acpuncturist, and otolaryngologist that I'd hate to leave behind. (Lol, so dramatic) Moving is at the top of my Hate List.

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MetallicDevil In reply to Maggotessa [2011-04-01 15:55:46 +0000 UTC]

Lmao Yeaah, The voices were other peoples neanderthalic screamings at me(which in turn cause My artistic glass cieling to shatter.) Basically My family bc I was at a young age and so on and so forth and I was pretty much failing most of my classes besides art.(I just didnt see the point in the other classes) Also my bro is bipolar and obese, sooo they both were ganging up on me and when my bro bellows he pretty much shakes the damned house down and My ears are fucking sensitive. Yup he definitely deserves to be tortured un-mercifully But yeah, they caused A bunch of unecessary stupidity annd pretty much massacred my passion for drawing soo yeah I am basically crippled as fuck at the moment.
It was when I was 17 or 18ish that that shit went down. Im 21 as of now. My recent drawings were that Jussi and Grell drawing. T_T Baaack to sucking again. Have to slowly work my way up. Thing is I try to draw buut my hand fucks up and feels all mangled and crippled.

Oh if you reallly want to listen to C.O.F's new Album I still have it in my yahoo mail. My yahoo is metallic_neoncyanide@yahoo.com.

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Maggotessa In reply to MetallicDevil [2011-04-01 18:44:22 +0000 UTC]

Yes, Bipolar disorder...I have an acquaintance who has Bipolar type I, and he is currently manic and lashing out at people - probably not only because he is cycling into the manic state, but because they're gonna move in about a month and he probably doesn't want to. He and I kinda used to be friends, but when he's not manic he's like....a stone. He shows little emotion and all he cares about is his part-time job. But NOW he wants to talk to me after ignoring me for months, because he's moving.

So, are you dealing with any disorders of your own (fuck, that was a nosy question)? I have major depressive disorder and it's such a bitch....My mood is decent right now, but it could plummet any day now; plus, I'm always so freakin' lethargic and drained. Always. Always tired...

Hey, I know what you mean. When I lose my 'muse', its gone for months, sometimes up to a year. And I'm just now getting it back. Its good to practice, but only practice when you feel like it; otherwise you'll just get upset with yourself. At least, thats what I do.

Thanks. I'll probably end up emailing you at some point. Oh, if you have the chance, check out this song: [link]

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MetallicDevil In reply to Maggotessa [2011-04-03 16:30:09 +0000 UTC]

Well the only disorder is meh being naturally nocturnal and Not being able to be up during the day or if I am I usually feel like a fhecking zombie or like my circuits are being fried. I just cant deal wth my bipolar brother very well.
Its bc I have post traumatic stress as well which makes me shake and go into fight or flight mode. The reason for that is bc I had an abusive stepdad when I was littler and so I reaaalllly REEEEAAAALLLLLLLY dont like it when people yell,scream bellow when my voice dosnt even go that high and they know that they are being asses and purposefully trying to anihilate what little self-worth I have so they can feel better about themselves and boost their own damned ego.
Im pretty normal besides being Post Traumatic stress, Nocturnal, and rather Procatinatory. Also I have a bit of a victorian mindset which is basically I view that I should have a gentleman that is the worker and I am the little housewife. It would be reallly sweeeeelll, bc I kinda reaally suck at math and am a bit dyslexic soo am not good at managing and organization. Also if I dont find somthing worthy, Im definitely not going to pursue it.

Thanks for the song. ^vv^

As for inspiration, Its alot more than that. I feel kinda Bereft of part of my soul bc of the abuse I went through, so It will probably never come back. Im pretty much Forever Crippled. Although I do have hope for a miracle, but that is just flights of fancy.

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Maggotessa In reply to MetallicDevil [2011-04-03 19:31:30 +0000 UTC]

I kinda know how you feel. Although I'm kinda the opposite: my voice is deeper than most girls', and really characteristic (everyone knows its me), but it still goes largely unnoticed against another girl, whose voice is usually much quieter and higher than mine. People my age don't 'get' or value my outlooks and opinions, so they'll listen to just about anyone else over me. I HATE people that talk too freaking loud. Its also annoying when they speak too quietly, but the other one is just freakin' annoying. Yeah, we can HEAR you. Now, shut up.

I don't think there's anything wrong with that mindset. I want to become a pharmacist (thats five years of college; weeeee), get married and just live a happy life. I don't want children (I have zero patience with them), and a blood disorder makes it very likely for me to miscarry or stillbirth if I get pregnant, so kids are out of the question. I want a lot of animals in the future; my pets will be my babies.

You're welcome.

Don't say that. I thought my ability to draw decently would never come back, and it did! Much stronger than before. Now I have writer's block, and I need to find a new instrument to play, but at least there's one thing I can do. You have wonderful means of expression through words and a great vocabulary; that's something to be proud of.

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