Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-09-18 05:24:48 +0000 UTC]

wow... thank you~! :3
part II will be release soon

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-02 08:40:17 +0000 UTC]

Uhh--will it be okay if I give you a critique? :<

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Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-10-04 09:05:52 +0000 UTC]

sure
whether positive or negative, i'll take it

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-10 10:18:37 +0000 UTC]

Okay. Here it goes-- >///<;

Your work was really difficult to read and understand. It was presented in a rather 'unfamiliar' way, like a script, but it was really 'out of page'. I couldn't get past a page without returning to the previous one I have already read and later, I found myself staring back at the first page. I gave up reading eventually.

But I really feel bad for not reading it all the way through. It made me feel like I just bought it because I have money. I bought it because I want to support you and your work. I gave it a second try, this time, I flipped and searched for a part that looks 'novel-like'--a paragraph/part that has a lot of words. Found one.

It was the love scene. xD It was really written nicely. I can see images, I hear sounds, I feel them. It was intense. I was happy when I found that part, a part that was readable, but when I get past those paragraphs, its back to confusion again.

You also used words and jargons that are hard to understand. When I was reading, I would stop and scramble for words in my head for their meanings. It made me loose my tracks from the story.

I think it has potential. It is really really rough though, but there is something nice there. I'd recommend you read *OokamiKasumi 's tutorials on writting. She's a published writer, I actually haven't read any of her works but her insightful writting tutorials and tips is enough for me to be convinced that she know writing more than I do. I learned a lot from her. And she's nice.

PS: Please don't hunt me down. ;_; I really REALLY wanted to say these things to you because I think it will help you later. ;___;

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Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-10-11 02:53:01 +0000 UTC]

thank you for your critique :3
i'll try what you recommend...

as for my way of writing which is you said a 'script' type, i have separate side story of them which is written as an actual novel (like you wanted to)

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-12 05:19:00 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!
I hope all the best for you and your work~

You do? Will you produce/post it? :>

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Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-10-13 12:31:41 +0000 UTC]

hihi... let's see since it's a side story, i might release it after the story 2 of the novel :3

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-17 09:07:00 +0000 UTC]

Will you be attending other cons to sell them? :<

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Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-10-21 01:08:19 +0000 UTC]

yes...

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-22 11:13:26 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! >u< Which cons?

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Moiviere In reply to geremoi [2012-10-25 08:20:04 +0000 UTC]

umm... we are not yet sure which con ^__^;; but our organization has been invited by UP Ame... but we'll see i'll post on my FB page if there's an update :3

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geremoi In reply to Moiviere [2012-10-31 11:05:44 +0000 UTC]

Awesome! I'll just check your updates from there~

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Moiviere In reply to Manicies [2012-03-12 09:53:20 +0000 UTC]

okay

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Moiviere In reply to Totoy888 [2012-02-27 15:09:46 +0000 UTC]

thanks ^^

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Moiviere In reply to Lushawnalu [2012-02-14 13:59:10 +0000 UTC]

thanks ♥

sorry, late reply ^^

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Lushawnalu In reply to Moiviere [2012-02-15 21:19:06 +0000 UTC]

It's ok, you're welcome

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Moiviere In reply to Lushawnalu [2011-02-12 05:56:15 +0000 UTC]

thank you

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Lushawnalu In reply to Moiviere [2011-02-12 16:02:32 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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Moiviere In reply to littleangelmimi [2010-09-17 12:05:24 +0000 UTC]

^___^

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Moiviere In reply to itachi349 [2010-05-27 03:16:44 +0000 UTC]

ehehe ^^
thumbnail palang xa, nagustohan ko ne eh

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itachi349 In reply to Moiviere [2010-05-27 17:15:07 +0000 UTC]

natouch naman ako. salamat! XDD (me bias kasi, kaya pati background, meron! XD)

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Moiviere In reply to itachi349 [2010-05-28 03:35:10 +0000 UTC]

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itachi349 In reply to itachi349 [2010-05-26 15:42:56 +0000 UTC]

este XD

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