OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-11-08 00:43:55 +0000 UTC]

well I love Hetalia it is so funny

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-11-08 00:44:45 +0000 UTC]

D'aww

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-11-08 00:45:16 +0000 UTC]

yeppers

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 21:22:47 +0000 UTC]

What do you want to talk about, and how has Kayla attacked you?

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ArzanianJoy In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:27:52 +0000 UTC]

If you call telling me I'm a bitch and that she hates me is not an attack then who knows? Meh... It doesn't matter but I cannot talk to her under any means right now.

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 21:35:32 +0000 UTC]

From what she had told me before she left, she was just explaining her to feelings about you to you, from my understanding. Anyways is this what you want to talk about, or is it something else?

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ArzanianJoy In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:57:07 +0000 UTC]

Nope. She called me a bitch in her very first message. And I tried explaining but she just said she hated me regardless. So I can't talk to her. I can't deal with people that "hate me regardless of anything I do." And what really pisses me off is that she went through our private messages to justify her attack on me. Anyway... I just needed to say bye. That is all. Apparently I'm blaming you for everything when it comes to roleplay but you never tell me anything so I can't change it. I can't handle friends that are just going to come around and attack me for something I did wrong. You don't tell me anything and I can't change unless someone tells me. No one tells me if I do something wrong and it's a damn long process to change but I cannot change when someone's just attacking me. Well, I'm saying I have to stop talking to you all together because I can't handle another attack by Kayla and I know fairly well that she just will. I've been attacked once too many times in my life. If she is going to hate me then don't tell me, just ignore me. And a friend of mine even calls her a hypocrite. She tells me to watch out for how I talk to you well she's not watching how she's talking to me. I am so damn offended by that chick that I either she needs to apologize for that or I'm out of here for good. I already gave her my apology but I can't keep talking to you in fear that she's going to attack me again later. That is like my one and only biggest fear besides change itself. I have my issues and you have yours. But she's not being very mindful of my issues by calling me a bitch and hating me without knowing a thing about me. All she knows is what you tell her and when she snoops in your messages. That is all. She has no justification to call me a bitch unless you have told her to her face that you hate me, and if so then that alone is enough to call this relationship quits. I've already lost one friend and I really don't want to lose another but I am fearful of being attacked and I can't keep up with something if no one's going to help me stop being such a bitch. I guess I should revert to my antisocial self and not talk to anyone, then maybe I won't make people hate me so much. But what she told you was an explanation of her feelings, included calling me a bitch and telling me she hated me when she has no grounds for that. I will not tolerate it, not at all. I refuse to let myself be like that. I have enough depression problems as it is. I don't think I can handle this anymore. I can say I don't want to lose you but I'm not going to keep myself in a position where it is viable to be attacked at any time. I will not let myself be lowered into a crying sopping mess over her. But no one likes being attacked and today I feel very much emotionally attacked.

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 22:11:04 +0000 UTC]

I am sorry that you feel this way I really do, I am talking to her about it and she really feels bad about it. She won't attack you again that I can promise, she does admit that she shouldn't have done it and it was wrong of her. We agreed not that we wouldn't get on each others accounts anymore, and she admits that she was in the wrong. She is also going to attempt to get to know you as you instead of what she thought she knew, if you'll let her. She has had a lot of problems lately, and she went off on you to pent it, but she knows she shouldn't have now and wishes she hadn't. It just kind of came out.
I wish for us to still talk some more like we have though, I do enjoy it, but if you do not want in fear of it happening again then I wii understand. No one likes what has happened, I know I don't and neither does Kayla.
I never told her that I hated you or anything ill about you. It was always the truth on how I think of you as a sweetheart and cute. The only thing that I said even close to being mean was that 'I wish that she would stop being hard on me.' But I could have been over sensitive at that time. But that is the only thing I have ever said remotely mean.

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ArzanianJoy In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:31:40 +0000 UTC]

I honestly don't know what to do. Because I understand everyone gets angry. I know very well what it's like to vent on people. But it's still not right. And the best person to do it on is someone that knows you well enough to know that they're not really serious and that you will end up brushing it off later. I'm okay with childish spats but not when it's an attack on me. I don't know her, I don't talk to her at all, I never even really knew she existed until she wanted to roleplay with the three way. I can't say that what I did was right either but even after I tried explaining, she still attacked me full force. I will not talk to her until she apologizes to me herself. After that we could be the best of friends but I will not even accept the idea of talking to her until she has apologized to me through her own mouth (or account). I may seem stubborn right now, but I just can't trust if what you are saying is really coming from her. I never hold hard feelings, never but I'm not letting this go until she's apologized. Now I'm going to go try and figure out how to unblock you from every site I know you on...This will take a while.

And I don't intend to be hard on you, I just pick up the little mistakes that you do. I'm OCD, horrifically, so I see a mistake and I feel the absolute urge to fix it. But when I tell you of a mistake, you don't have to fix it. I honestly don't care if you do. I'm just making you aware of them. It's sometimes a pain in the ass but I can't control that urge to fix mistakes. When I watch an anime and it has a theme song with some English lyrics I yell, "I'm going to Japan just to teach those singers proper English grammar." I mean who says, "I am dreamer." It doesn't make sense. Anyway. I'm getting off topic. But I have undesirable urges to get rid of mistakes, it's my OCD and perfectionism. It has to be perfect or it doesn't work.

And seriously, if you want me to stop doing something, you have to tell me. I can't change based on nothing. I don't even know what I need to change. It's a part of my medication being lowered. That means I'm going to be a little touchy, a little tired, a little negative and a little bossy. It will continue happening through the lowering of my dosages. I can't change if I don't know what to change. I have three therapists, four sessions a week for half the year and I still don't know what to change. Last year you didn't talk to me as much, so you wouldn't know what kind of person I was. I was so antisocial, I was a complete mess. I couldn't talk to people. I was a loner and a bitch all my life.

But just to let you see.... This is Kayla's very first message to me:

"Hey, Courtney? It's Kayla. I have something I'd really like to tell you, and it's been pent up for a long time, so I'd like to get it out there now, alright? So, here:
[3:19:15 PM] Kittie Love: Oh. My. God. You are not perfect, and you do make mistakes too, so do not dare blame everything wrong with your roleplay on Becky, because you're equally at fault. It's hypocritical, is what it is, honestly. I really don't like you. I might even hate you, which doesn't surprise me all too much. Just... God damn. You're such a bitch.

I just really needed to get that out there before I exploded on someone who didn't deserve it. Again, do not blame Becky for that, as it was completely me writing and thinking this up."

I copied that directly from Skype.

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 22:51:41 +0000 UTC]

Kayla will be coming back later today to spend the night again. She will apologize to you in person.
but you also need to apologize as well just to do it okay, please.

I didn't know how to tell you to stop, I feared if I did you would get upset and I did not want that at all on either of our parts.

But I will say this, it is hard for me at times to understand what you mean, all you need to do is say where they are at and what they are doing by explaining it in longer terms. I will try my best if you will.

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ArzanianJoy In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:13:41 +0000 UTC]

I already gave my apology. I told her I was sorry in my first reply. That's all there was to it. I'm not going to say another lie about the topic because I don't have any reason to. I never say I'm sorry with really merit behind it. I told her I was sorry and that is that. I don't intend to say another lie. I don't feel remorse because I do not see how I did anything wrong in ways to justify such actions. I gave one apology, I will not give another because that would be a lie in my being.

I get upset everyday, deal with it. I get upset over every little thing. One more little upset feeling will do me no harm. I can handle it just fine. If I get upset, don't talk to me for fifteen minutes, and I'll be back to normal it is pretty simple.

I say where they are... And indicate one what they are doing multiple times... I guess I just have to word it out more. But I do not know how to say, "They ported to Hell's room" any longer than that... I can make a single one liner take up five lines but it gets boring after the first line with way too many details. I suppose I'll just indicate three times in a row... But I can't say it's my fault that you do skip over some lines... It's not a big deal but I say everything that needs to be understood in the message... I can only suggest rereading the thing twice before replying... But I'll try to write more.....I just can't promise that it will be any clearer than it is because my writing style is to "write the least amount of words with adequate enough details to tell the reader where and what the character is doing." All that I can suggest to remedy this is to put a minimum word tax on each reply... Make it so that there has to be like five hundred words per reply or something. Then I'll be forced to write out as much detail as possible... Unless of course my character is sleeping... But I think when my Muse is high, that I can write five hundred words even for a sleeping character... So that's all I can say on this topic. A word minimum. Like I have both a 1000 word roleplay and a 500 word roleplay going right now... Adding another 500 won't be a problem... But for now, I suggest keeping kinks, lemons and awkward situations out until we've figured out a writing style that works best.... I also suggest creating a new character, I will too, so that the characters develop on their own with each other. Or do a lifetime roleplay, where children grow up together. I just think that starting with an already made character that has relationships and bonds already makes it difficult to create a romantic atmosphere with. If they were brand new characters (and this is precisely why I have so many damned characters) then they would have a direct bond with each other. Creating characters is easy for me but creating one I love is difficult. That's all I can suggest.

And I'll try to apologize again but I'm not certain I'll be able to. My mind is wired in a way that I don't feel regret or remorse. But I do try to respect certain people. That doesn't mean I have manners though. My mother is trying to brainwash me with Please and Thank you's right now... Not going so well ^^ But I'm pretty good at saying I'm sorry for random things. I just don't think I can find a reason to apologize to her about. I can say I'm sorry to you because I am genuinely in the wrong here and I know that. But with her I don't see any reason to. Because I gave her no reason to say that. If it were you that attacked me like that, I would have taken it differently. But I don't even know her. All I know is that she's been snooping in your messages, found something she doesn't like about me and attacked me for it. I don't know how I did any wrong to her at all. I wronged you not her. So I have a hard time seeing why I should apologize for my reaction to her attack. I just don't see why I should. I did nothing to her.

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 23:23:38 +0000 UTC]

She wasn't snooping through my messages, I let her look through them, so that she could help me with the mistakes that I was making and we found those and she wanted to tell you how she thought and what she felt.

I would like it if you did you apologize because it shows that you are willing to just like Kayla is going to. It shows.

Kayla just returned and she wants to tell you that she was in the wrong and that she knows it and that you don't need to keep reminding her of it. She says that she pretty much feels like shit for blowing up on you like that, and she says that she should feel awful.

She will talk to you in person to apologize.

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ArzanianJoy In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:37:00 +0000 UTC]

Yes. Well. To be honest. I don't like people reading my message unless I know them... But it's you... doesn't matter. To me you letting her read them and her snooping = same thing to me... No third party should be involved. That's like me asking my mom or Victoria to read our roleplay and tell me what to do next. If you thought you made a mistake in the roleplay...like seriously just ask me and I'll tell you every little thing you did wrong in them. Which quite frankly isn't but two things. Your spelling could use some work, but you're much better than you were before so I see no reason to complain. And two, you skip over details. That is it.

I still don't see why I should apologize but I'll see where it takes me.

And if she feels awful about it, she should think through her blow up before she calls complete strangers a bitch. Because next time it may just be someone that will actually kill her should they meet. And like earlier today when my mom asked what was wrong, I just said, "If I had been face to face with her, her face would be completely mauled by now." But that's passed. I wouldn't really do it. In THIS moment. But if she had really said that to me face to face, you don't want to know what kind of shit I would have done to her. I got so riled up by that, that I was shaking and about to cry I was so pissed. Now I can't say I am any better when I'm angry. I will maul the first thing I see until it is unrecognizable and I will throw such a huge temper tantrum that it takes a huge six foot man to restrain me and even then I still get free. When angry I attack people far more than what she did today. But that still doesn't make it right... And I'm not even talking to her so how can I remind her of something... You're the one telling her everything I am saying...

I am still a little steamy so my judgement is a little off. It will take a few moments to be able to even say anything to her at all. I'm not in the right mind set to apologize because right now I feel like this song: [link]

I'll try and figure it out but I can't say I'll be able to apologize but for another hour of chatting... My mind is wrapped in a huge fog and I'm not sure whether it's mad or sad... I can't determine.

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OutLawRose In reply to ArzanianJoy [2012-10-27 23:47:52 +0000 UTC]

Alright, I'll let you go for a few hours so that you can cool down. We will as well.

I'll talk to you later if that is what you want to do. ^w^

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-26 19:43:11 +0000 UTC]

Thanks I made it a while ago freshmen year I think it was.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-26 19:44:08 +0000 UTC]

Cool. ^^

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 21:23:38 +0000 UTC]

Yep, is it okay if you tell me abit about yourself?

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:31:32 +0000 UTC]

Sure! Should I just say my name...or. ^^

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 21:36:47 +0000 UTC]

Whatever you feel comfortable telling me. And I will tell you the same.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:41:32 +0000 UTC]

Okay!! I'm Jordan. I'm sensitive. I like to role play. I like animals. I have two cats and a dog. Aaaannnnnnd that's sort of it. c:

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 21:43:56 +0000 UTC]

I'm Rebekah or Becky whichever one you prefer, and I adore roleplaying. It's my life. I like animals as well, and I have a dog named Denali who is my best friends husband apparently, and I like writing and reading and all that other good stuff.

And on a random note, I like cupcakes. Not muffins. They're just naked cupcakes.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:44:45 +0000 UTC]

I only like chocolate chip muffins that they sell at my school

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 21:46:23 +0000 UTC]

They're a rare exception.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 21:49:25 +0000 UTC]

Yep.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 21:51:11 +0000 UTC]

I'm so bad at Portal...

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:19:36 +0000 UTC]

Portal? What's hat?

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:21:27 +0000 UTC]

*GASP* THe best thing ever, besides me of course. It is a game based on Aperture Science. Portal 1 and 2 look it up it is freaking awesome man, just like me~

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:22:13 +0000 UTC]

I think I have heard of it, actually. XD

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:24:31 +0000 UTC]

Really? Awesome~

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:25:28 +0000 UTC]

Yep. So....Becky...what state do you live in? Hehe I sound like stalker.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:25:52 +0000 UTC]

Oregon, what about you?

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:28:36 +0000 UTC]

New Jersey. -_- It's 6:00 here. Isn't it 3 there?

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:35:23 +0000 UTC]

Wow, I have another friend in New Jersey as well, you have talk to her before.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:42:49 +0000 UTC]

ArzanianjoY? Yep.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:52:00 +0000 UTC]

Yeah.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:54:59 +0000 UTC]

Are you guys in a fight? You weren't on her dA family list.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 22:56:26 +0000 UTC]

Yes we had a fight. We are resolving it.

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 22:58:30 +0000 UTC]

Okay. I think she is also mad at Tyler and his boyfriend. I dont even know.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 23:01:06 +0000 UTC]

Maybe so, but off that topic please. How is your school life any thing interesting?

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:02:40 +0000 UTC]

I don't know really...I write a lot of journals about whats going on
but no one reads them

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 23:05:04 +0000 UTC]

Well I'll red them from now on okie dokie?

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:07:03 +0000 UTC]

Okay!!!

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 23:08:08 +0000 UTC]

Yeppers~

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:20:41 +0000 UTC]

I just starte a point commision. I hope no one donates. XD

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 23:23:57 +0000 UTC]

Why?

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jordanlynch In reply to OutLawRose [2012-10-27 23:25:26 +0000 UTC]

I have to draw them stuff...thats hard to draw. liek Charizard, or Articuno.

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OutLawRose In reply to jordanlynch [2012-10-27 23:26:27 +0000 UTC]

Oh, well that is nice of you ^w^

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