Scrotal-Enemy In reply to FuzzyBunnyChainsaw [2005-01-08 11:18:49 +0000 UTC]

Of course you can watch. And no, this isn't really all that big of a secret.

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Scrotal-Enemy In reply to The-Corpse [2004-12-20 21:30:21 +0000 UTC]

Woah. Sounds like you New York fatcats really know how to live it up. I can just imagine you spraying strippers with champaign bottles and lighting cigars with $100 bills.

Unfortunately, a couple of bums like us would most definitely not fit in. I know that I, at least, would probably not even make it past the bouncers on the door. I'd be left to wander the alleys until I happened upon a bag lady willing to share her turpentine with me (and with luck she'd share something else later on). After staggering around the streets into the early hours of the morning I'd most likely be arrested, hauled off to some dank cell and beaten within an inch of my life. I'd lie semi-conscious on the damp concrete until I choked on my own puke and died.


Did you have a listen to that hilarious load of shit the Chump and I recorded a while back? Death metal is one of the funniest things in the world and it's a hell of a lot of fun to parody. We haven't "done" IYTEHM for quite a while now since we've embarked on a half-baked attempt to be "real" musicians but I personally prefer pissing around with silly nonsense any day.

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The-Corpse In reply to Scrotal-Enemy [2004-12-21 03:36:34 +0000 UTC]

eh, I'm not a fatcat, I just travel with them... You would have fit right in, I'm sure... This was a special occasion, when I was younger it was the cheap biker-type strip club with the ugly chicks. The only thing different about then and now is now I have a nicer coat and a couple extra singles for the ladies... I'm still a bum on the inside (and proud!)

Yes, I liked that song a lot (I was gonna come back to that posting with a detailed response when I had more time - but now you blew it!) I want to jam with you guys! Dear make-a-wish, I am a lonely corporate desk jockey dying of elephantitus. Oh, how I pine to jam with some crazy Australian dudes who want to make me their bitch....

The good news is, I've created living space out of the back half of my garage, and now it's painted, carpeted, and heated. My old gig equipment and multitracker are all set to be wheeled in there. Unfortunately, I've sold my Les Paul Custom, but I still have my trusty Steinberger and my Charvel bass... and I'm getting the itching in my groin to make some nasty ass music. I had also sold my Crate amp (I was doing just studio stuff near the end) so I'll need to pick another amp up... My old MIDI stuff should still work ok - R-8 and an ensoniq keyboard... now all I need is time or to become independently wealthy... oh, plus my voice sucks, gotta fix that somehow...

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Scrotal-Enemy In reply to The-Corpse [2004-12-21 23:30:14 +0000 UTC]

Man, I really miss doing IYTEHM. Being in a fake death metal band was so much more fun than actually trying to make halfway decent music. We ended up pulling a whole album's worth of ridiculous death metal tunes out of our assholes but since the drummer was a Sony Playstation we never really got anywhere with it. It would probably be impossible to find a human who could actually play IYTEHM on the drums. Dave Lombardo could maybe do it but I think you'd need to be some kind of amphetamine-fueled octopoid to pull some of the songs off.

That song you heard was one of the very first we made. The lyrics Ol' Chumpy wrote for it crack me up every time.

Green skin, slime and cold gray limbs
These are called the IYTEHM things

Ah classic stuff.

Bummer about selling your Les Paul. I used to have a crummy Epiphone Les Paul Custom but I got pissed off with it one day and hurled it neck-first at the floor. The headstock snapped right off. It sucked not having a guitar for a while but it was a good excuse to buy a nicer axe. My SG (Epiphone, of course. Do I look like a millionaire to you?) plays so much nicer than that other piece of shit.

So what kind of music did you used to play before you were flying a desk 9 to 5?

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The-Corpse In reply to Scrotal-Enemy [2004-12-22 14:57:55 +0000 UTC]

It was hard to hear the lyrics on that one. What are you recording into?

The Les Paul was a calculated sale. It was a good guitar, but it was pretty "used" by this point. It was like a 72 or something. I actually bought it (already very used) in High School for $400. When I sold it, I was living in a crappy, tiny square room, half of which held all my guitars, recording equipment, and midi/keyboard set up and a couple of amps. So basically my music stuff was renting the room and I was a guest. I was making $150 a week and the rent was $70 a week (yes, weekly rent due, pretty shabby). The Paul was heavy, and big, and I had no room to turn around in the room when I was trying to record and mix, etc. I had bought a crappy $100 honer (Steinberger copy) from a band-mate at the time, which was awesome - the headless stock and lightweight made it perfect to rest on my lap and maneuver around the mixing board and keyboard. So I wound up selling the Paul for $1000 or so on the internet. It was a win-win. I needed the cash ($1000 fed me for a year - I ate one meal a day - Taco bell, 3 tacos and a glass of water - and dinners at the girlfriend's house a lot of nights) plus I just couldn't realistically use the Les Paul. I could jamming with he band (the rhythm guitarist was loaded - he had a detached studio and his parents' home had an outdoor AND an indoor pool - the guy was very humble though - very cool guy). Problem was, I had played everything in the studio on the honer and the Paul was such a wider neck. I could play it, but it just had a different feel.

As soon as I got my first job out of college the first month I bought a real Steinberger ($800 if I recall) and I thought I must have done something finally right in life to get such a treat!

As for the epiphone my first guitar is sitting 2 feet behind me as I write this. It's a Teisco Del Rey electric, bought by Grandpa at a garage sale. I played that sucky cheapo Japanese crap-box bastard for YEARS so I know what you mean. However, I cannot part with it. It's basically un-playable, but it's my first, ya know? I may mount it on the wall just to be a dick.

What did I play? Started off as parody type stuff, because I was self-conscious about taking myself seriously. Turned into some cool heavy metal, then I got into power ballads (had to please the ladies mate!) and then some more contemporary which I shopped around to recording studios (see my mail to Chump if you're not already there with him f*ckin' around). My problem is my voice is my weakest link. Lead guitar is my thing (I can jam for hours - I never wrote out a solo in my life - they all just come out of my fingers, each one unique) I like power chord rhythms, and I'm decent on the bass. I play great keyboard if you allow me to go back into the midi and fix all my mistakes (read: I suck at keyboard but I'm good at programming the midi). And I LOVE recording - all the effects and levels, mics, and fun mixing tricks. That's a blast, just trying to get it right. I always had cheap equipment, but I think that made you work harder. If I do re-set-up my studio, I'm gonna shell out the bucks for the hard disk recording. I can't even imagine how cool that would be...

eh, that's me in a nutshell. You now know more than any man ever truly should. It's like you've got a speculum in my anal orifice and you're peering into the cavity that best describes my life. I can die now... fully sated.

Corpse

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