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| ShamGlumb

ShamGlumb ♂️ [20818199] [2012-02-05 04:43:25 +0000 UTC] (United States)

# Statistics

Favourites: 28; Deviations: 78; Watchers: 15

Watching: 25; Pageviews: 3420; Comments Made: 30; Friends: 25

# Interests

Favorite visual artist: Sam Kieth
Favorite movies: Popeye, All comic book movies, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, etc.
Favorite TV shows: The Maxx, The Young Ones, Ren and Stimpy, Beavis and Butthead, Aeon Flux, Adult Swim, Lost, Heroes, Fringe, Breaking Bad, Tom Green, etc.
Favorite bands / musical artists: They Might Be Giants, Primus, Nirvana.
Favorite books: The Bible, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series, South of the Pumphouse, etc.
Favorite writers: Douglas Adams, Les Claypool, etc.
Favorite games: Super Metroid, Chrono Trigger, Cave Story, Batman: Arham Asylum & Arkham City, Rachet and Clank series, ALL Zelda games, ALL Mario games, etc....too many to count.
Favorite gaming platform: PS3
Tools of the Trade: Bristol board, .005 Micron pen, retractable pencil, lack of sleep, anything that works....
Other Interests: Playing guitar, writing songs, writing stories, fishing, etc.

# About me

the floor fell asleep on a backwards laundromat. don't be a creep cause I ain't done coughing yet. the drolls are escalating, can we have a minute of cheese jugular here? I'm not one to brag, but if'n I wasn't an unkey's moncle! waterboarding doesn't make me a better swimmer. in the full range of singing sea fleas I reserve the right to carte blanche. lonely attics everywhere can also double as the anti-terminus of a brain train. (in case you're not reading this) I'm not gonna smear goat chowder on a wounded picket fence and call it a day, that's me yawning in seven different languages. belly up, we're callin' in the poker face! unstrung fungal tounge sung some fun young dung. here in the morning hours we seldom remember something something..... I like the shiny taste of the sun repeating in my esophagus throughout the burning watery night. sat on a cat on a cactus....okay that's just lazy even for who are we about to not talk about? I'm confused if I'm still me or not. if I'm you can I call myself and let you know that whichever one of us we are when we get home that I/you forgot the key and am locked out of my head.....again. either I'll be home late or I already am home, I'll decide later. shelf life exceeded, this amphigory will self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2, one of the reasons I waste my breath in spite of decent mental hygene is to use up all of the unused space and dead air due to lack of hearing behind the ears of this one man public. and now a message from our sponsor, if you can't read this'll probably make more sense. if you don't want to read this you already did. there seems to be an over abundance of echidnas gathering under my blanket. consider this their ransom note. I expect all my demands met, whenever I get around to politely asking nicely for them possibley. can I get a what-what? the lights are all reverbed out with prickley little sharps from the mixolydian scale bouncing off the coarse rigid thirstiness of a slow breeze. I've trained my turbid space anemones to recognize various warning labels from such great heights as a traffic jam that breaks the speed limit. I'll get my money's worth as soon as I foot the bill like a tepid fist in the mouth. remember, staring is scaring, are you screaming yet? must be my pillow. can I wring out my brain on your birthday cake? bring on the party snoodes, last year can't get here fast enough n' stuff. tommyrot is a young boiler room attendant who lept out a defunct jar of holes or were it fleck......probably at least a majority of it. can it, I tells me! anyway it deffinately can but that wasn't a question and if it were who asked it? because that may or may not be the answer and if I'm being rude to myself then I'm not sure if I'm just reading this or writng it......in either case, congratulations and thanks don't mention it. in other related news back to our on the spot coverage of more muddle-headed flummery as what appears to be an elderly space citizen giving out loitering fines to all the trees that have presumptuously been gathering around our fine forests for centuries. not giving a single thought to the fact that when he runs out of trees to make the paper that these fines are printed on that there'll be no one left to pay the fines. when sought for questioning he responded by saying, "We'll nail all them hippies too for aiding and abedding. these trees don't just hug themselves! and besides, them clouds ain't looking too friendly while I'm at it!" and then he sneezed and blew up. I am not liking the fact that I boil paint with my eyes I should get that looked at.....by someone whos eyes don't boil things.....unless I'm hungry 'cause let's face it I'd totally eat my own boiled eyeballs if my appetite's not being distracted. from now on I'm not friends with the laws of physics...........captain. here's another noise you'll never hear cause I can't spell it. shall I elaborate on how I like to decorate my brain with fingerprints via my nasal cavity, they'll never catch me 'cause it wasn't me. who broke into my mirror?? I sees ya hiding in there! I never did like double dutch ever since I got jumped by some rope. it's a lie I says which? this is all so interesting that I'll likely purposely forget to take it down. should I begin another racket with the old hello it's me again and.....wait, I'm not here!...(POOF!) where'd I go? I'm coming over yer house and shutup right now. always keep a disposable ego handy for those not so fresh moments. yet again I pulled the wool over my eyes expecting sheep vision but I just tricked myself. bleeting for no reason does not a fool make......or maybe make it does. can't fake a handshake the deal's off. if I'm not chasing my tail then where did it go and why did I stop? if pregnant or breast-feeding, ask a health professional before use. from now on, off later to! there's a chill in the air but I don't hangout up there anymore. I like to follow my nose but it's too fast for me to keep up. skrimp don't fail me now! if I'm snoring sorry for how I'm insomniacting, I don't sleep but I pretend to on television....or not, it's definately one of those two...unless it's both.....or not. (insert pent up anger here.) I scream into cups because they're just too loud otherwisenheimer. what if I was to get a flat all the way out here? I just tricked you into thinking that you're reading this. you very well might be stealing from me by subconciously adopting my think patterns. bees ears smell like duck sauce on the open road. tastes like broad daylight. toss me another argyle stare I can almost see the top from under here. I just caught a cactus shaving before a job interveiw at a balloon factory, true story. on a lighter note this is still too heavy, take a memo, get muscles. stingey scallops, sell this, I shall fish for selfish alfalfa shellfish. let out da britches here come da itis. if'n I wuz a food I'd eat a people. tell me where to sit down will they, stinkin bossy chairs! that oughta putcha in a quantum headlock fer a while. tangling brain-busters marinating sauteed synapses yearn sweet sustainance from dullard drudgery puppets. if you're too busy trying to find a ladder tall enough to see the top of your head don't forget that lollipopping duster fish stagger on yumsterday. hoagie smokes jamokes, we ain't baitin' up fer da same steamburglars. push me locale sensors out of sensory perceptionism I yain't sellin' ya bilge water. yell on up for more stop yellin's and I says we're going tarded first! at it again is we? forget I never mentioned gutterscotch yuckery snipets. a cockamamie cacophony of mulligrubbing rigamarole with dissimulative malarkey-balderdash-twaddle-jargon! on this very lumpington popwallor cotter-bean pinsters steal into the bay on razor-horses. underfed stenographer fingernail germs take over the mandible vagary, anti-paper's at the window wanting their just deserts. mollusk's can't stay in my pillowcase all night, space-woggs deserve a turn on the lazy-go-round. step me right up the footprints on my head are smudging, so for that hard to reach cortex itchiness try new diet bleach, the wilted sicker hiccer-upper. I hear ol' bunk outside crying the "ain't gonna happen blues" because I won't come wanderin' back into nowhere. nice, I tasted that one! sordid crunch soggies fill up my unemployment offices, I gots no place for 'em. little brainsick epidermis vagrants sought out their softheaded monotony gatherings beneath the foot of the bed but no one showed up......because they forgot how, then remembered until they forgot how to remember again, and this went on and continues to this very danish. yesterday I'm already gonna have to wait fer the bus in my shower. uncooked tripe sneaks out my window and slithers its way into the little bird skulls I find funding my lawn's mutiny plans for yard domination. and yet again I find the back porch settler ninjas peeking around looking fer bogus bait shop handouts. so late at night we often break into other people's dimensions and leave a lofty trail of slap happy singing salad bar friendly solar fellow-fancy foghorn fallout fidgets pounding nobody's eardrums through the lack of a roof they got there in their over there. direct hit captain, it's gonna be a lumpy excuse for an excuse me. this mistake is brought to you by the letter yo momma. why can't I seem to wake up before I go to sleep? and now back to what you weren't paying attention to. I'll trade you all of my shutups for all of your stop interupting me right nows. here I hum to stave the day! au contraire mon millions of mini filet minon minions, we ain't yet had our barking validated. slow it down a bit 'fore I learns ya suttin, no slow pokes poke no slow jokes. what can I steal from your mind while you're wasting this time counting all the taps I'm making wasting mine? hmmmmm......I know, I'll move on down to flollop and strike 'em all down with a dollop o' sour cream n' lightning wiggles. a great value it be to sprint crop circles in your glass shorts and not yell at pizza pirates over the phone and still expect a tip. why not just be lazy inside of a musical shoulder blade for all of paternity, show me to the floor my rug blisters are fading. so now I grow afros in my closet for medicinal download vegetable purchases, quit hoggin' the sewer! why not show the aliens how carbonation hisses from underwhelming heights and save us a little time between guava bean slaughterization and giga-piglets. and there still seems to be more motion potion fragments falling from the planets that ignore our despondently formal little me party and our lack of enough invitations. I don't pokes fun atcha, I'm still doo-whoppin to the vital organizational tempo minstrels and what am I still doing explaining soaking wet to a fish. what do busy folks got to do with me and my polar rice naps that can't tell a phony bologna rotary sinus worker from a tolerant lactose gambler sittin on my foot. FROGWASH I sez! I don't always use the flying trapeze to get the point across it just sells more underground worm factories to the future loogies in charge of apparatus detection and lost and found boxes from anywhere in time and space chunks. sit on yourself all at once and forget I ever mentioned it. feed the slugs to rover on the way out and beat up the paper people we has another wednesday to gator-fish the toilet and forget to blink, brace yourselves for impact! do say I didn't warn you, we are temporarily experiencing brain flatulation due to high caller volume please enjoy the elevator muzak between my ears. if this was an actual test, I would have failed it in 9th grade the third time around, repeat, this is just an emergency, thank me. slap me on down the hallway, my nose buckle's on the fritz and ain't tellng me how to make a break for it. simlpy savvy I pixeled, papas fritas might be the only way to go I stammered. annoy me will I, I'll teach me to be taught! yellper's bargaining crayonburger helpest thou, come again? what don't me gonna talk a trout, long drives to the middle of the sentence? analysis incompletely buggin the grenade shards out o' that ol' mumblin dude behind every dumpster full o' good
pickin's. scuff-shruggler's up to slow-mo by now fo-sho. aww, the chumscrubber just quit the leave me alone contest, batten down the catfish I'm taking the last clean spork. what channel am I not seeing what I ain't watching and the radio's jealous, but it's okay, radio go home. right over to the leftovers in the outside downstairs highway and stop sleeping on my attention span, I paid at the doorknob. feel free not to drink all the water you're not drinking in my mirage collection that I leave scattered accross deserts world wide. aliens tried to park in my frontal lobe-asaurus rex and burned holes in my mind with hyperspace picnic blankets and appetizers I thought I've never heard of or would hear of again. eggs and snake bacon animated my boxers, glue-in-the-dark savoy truffles and a warm globe full of lukewarm slime spiders freak-a-booing in my peripheral vision, I sees ya! giddyup self! near sighted tasties wander a lil' too close to me gullet and forget to make reservatory preparations and end up in a heap o' no good. abalone drudge reporters croone lummox wimplets around severely poliwoging hoof-winkers. why not kick back on yer television and stare at yer chair and throw back a couple of bags of dust mites and pickle yer living room, we aren't setting foot on the old frontier. laggard baby muenster lifeforms under my pillow rapidly try to copy my eye movement over the hush of the crowd. should I wake up and take a bow, or let them know that I might've put them there when I wasn't in aknowlegement. not otter's frozen waters, turn and burn, the hand's almost over. I feel like all the binary fission translators in my almost-butter and nothing sandworm saps a grin too sluggishly. can I finish pretending to finish later? The subliminal sandwich and the wimpy executives that do the back stroke through bite sized beverages under my cousins moldy freeway play tonsil tango at the exact lame time as I mute the audience in my transmission the doughy griblets attacked my broken eyebrows when we wasn't paying attention to attendees tending to attending tender teeter tottering toddlers. the welcome mat seems to be following me just next to beneath my heels and creeps up and down the jungle because the deserts are teaming up against forest hams, suddenly they get all filthy and scream surrender to the top soil that drives the paddy wagon to the immigration department. stop sleeping and pet the squid fries as they aim to line up directly in front of where you were gonna walk, but instead you shuffle on down to dee ol' spider market n' gets ya some new lymph-node pirates. yet at the last moment you reach for mud ducks need to give me back my fish finders and stop stalling on paying me back for interspace-transdimensional glow-in-the-dark politicians from SPLAMF........as I was saying you were saying as I was staying micrometers were trying to foul me up and thwart their thwarting thwarteners....thwhat?!? splenda disguises itself as sweetener but only a select few know the plight of their caffeine grudgery, I will indeed protest the snot-lockers and their band of "where am I" troops. potholes are disappearing all over the universe and I still have to be to work on time, but not in space, which opens up an entire buffet of lima bean kangaroos with lightbulb tendencies as they practice hob-nob against the wigwams of the left-winged asteroid settlers in my tall glass of shutup. bubbles surface and yet we seem to ingore the grossly obsessive ankle bandits with the snarky parking lot loiterers that pretend not to see the cracks in their foreheads with the little yellow pickle farmers and their salty soup-on-a-rope obsessions, but that's just a scam determined to open umbrellas yesterday but can never seem to quite make it there.....or then I guess. old block o' cheese on my window sill still says it smells like low tide in here, who's been sneaking free samples? blathering yet another no toned tonic beach bum detecter, won't ever learn though. it's still yer fault. ahhhh, can you smell the under-phlegmed old timers in the breeze out back catching turtle cookies with Crohn's disease? I fry fish in da kitchen, pass the dark matter it's sneezing out there, but I can't wait to anticipate uncle bunker hyuck-hyuck-hyuckin on down the plane tracks yelping for another brain stain. don't lie to my mirror it beat you to it with your eyes closed wide open shut, we need more taxes I'm thirsty trust me never take my word for it believe you me! I invented calling dibs on every seat you're gonna steal from me without asking permission from mayonaise trapezoids on the loose beefing with terrapins and their lillith pads, send me home early if you ate broken porcelain with a side order of zombie ear yogurt. go write ahead it's still spelled like I tells ya, don't be waking me up when I'm yawning in Y#........it's my new sharp! pester yackle bait n' crackle crispy sniffter saddle soap grifter, we gots another chowder dusty onion nerd buster climbing on down the sewer trap! I stepped on the glee club and flicked their gooey splattered pocket protector inards off my finger and a giant lobster swooped down and gambled away my life savings, good thing I wasn't still me at the time. can I play the dirty laundry trombone under five fathoms of powdered water and not be added to my own no-call list without tippy toes falling off in silence. I can schlep through this anywhere I, whatever go to sleep........z z z ZZZZ! Snaggle frogs breathing down my driveway begging to rent out my hamper to the flying Bermese spine-cabbages call me up in the middle of the night pretending to be long lost left socks that sold me out to the under water proof of purchase midgets.......help me I'm drooling! wait no I'm not but if you'd like free samples send a check and/or money-order to wherever you can think of, then think of how many times you've sent money to somewhere and not known how to save the wombats. oyster you say? well that's a glue-gun of a different mother. say hello when you can't hear me ! if you believe this lie is true then I've just saved a ton of geckos from being sold to car insurance commercials, and to think they still owe my grandmother a night on the town for aquatic denture shelves. I like to fall asleep at the wheel while secret coagulated shoe-horns attack the mothership. I'm feeling rather salty since my reoccuring day dreams play limbo in the negative space that feeds off of my sweltering ego. People have trouble trying to comprehend my snipe hunting tactics, but I go home and eat a nice dust-bunny steak while being conscious not to get to close to the cobb-webs in my mind for fear of halitosis. Wakeing yet, suddenly I can't sleep up. Florishing in my capitol surgery noodles apostrophe yester-deedle-tweedle-shmeedle divided by some random shmoe/mook you happen to run into is ever wanna stop and go shrimping fer free freezing frappachino help I can't stop wasting my breath with what you neverminded an hour and 1/3 ago but where are my manners have we ever met I'm happy to meet myself and you stalk small harmless tree vikings for fresh snow underwear, gulp a brew's a snormin' accessery not included or sold seperately as sandwich-farmers and get back here with that consciousness isn't spelled left fast forward to my favorite party hat sneezle I am kaboom and will never sleep your car to the bottomless pit in flasm or if you prefer shuting your inquiries to a minimum in zoom reach me too forever times nothing equals your theater is coming to you soon stop following yourself because you can't spend my salty technology on the rantings of a cronic nose-hair-tangler, plus there's still apostrophe n, looming waiting for the precise time to fall down the stairs and out-sleep a plopping ticket vender. oh no, I know I should ask for a refund, and they try to apologize but I know they mean it when they pull my teeth out and sell them to some half-breed nazi trifling finger-cuff gypsies with there popsicle stands parked just beyond where your eyes can fathom. no new broken mice for the greasey over-cooked freedom gobs that drizzle down to nothingness before they ever reach their pre-determined taste-buds, also in diet and caffiene free. I'm ever grinding away my hind teeth particles at the dull edge that spins my weathered thought muscle, then we shmoozed for a tick and swam laps up and down the street, excluding my front lawn, that you can, by the way, take with you ! by the time I stopped laughing everyone was gone and I realized drinks were on me. stop by once again everyday if I ever figure out who these wastrels are, AND THE CROWD GOES FISH FOOD !!!!!!................snorp.........oops wrong number.