countconkula In reply to VENTl [2016-03-06 07:04:08 +0000 UTC]

where did you go

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2016-03-10 00:24:24 +0000 UTC]

AAA nowhere ;; was gonna ditch this account cause I was having some problems, but I think I'm gonna keep itt

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2016-03-14 09:34:05 +0000 UTC]

what problems?  keep the account if you can ... 

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2016-03-14 21:48:41 +0000 UTC]

Mental issues lmao ><;
yah!! I will. How are you btw?

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2016-03-15 01:00:08 +0000 UTC]

Ah I'm familiar with those.
Not doing the greatest...  Not doing the worst.  I've certainly been much worse than I am now.
Right now everything feels light as a feather. 
Which makes me apprehensive.

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2016-03-15 01:14:36 +0000 UTC]

I feel somewhat similar in a way tbh, some sort of in between..numb kinda. And yeah I get that apprehensive feeling! Anxiety a lot lmao 
man if you ever need to talk you can talk to me n v n idk if I could be of any help but it's good to speak to people.
AND OMG I had a dream about tediz and the shc last night lmfao it was fun e w e
haven't played it in a while tho... >>

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2016-03-16 01:37:12 +0000 UTC]

So much just seems like it's hanging in the air.  '-'
Trying to get my body and soul in touch with the real earth, but eh, I'm definitely in orbit... heh. 
Anxiety out the ass.  Where does it all come from? 
A mild undercurrent of depression or melancholy.
A lot of insecurity, and a fear of insincerity. 
Trying to avoid complete zombification.  It's happened before.

Yeah talking helps at times.  *.* not all the time tho. 

And yeah, I love dreaming in Conkerverse.  I haven't in awhile.  It's always fun as hell though.  I remember dreaming of playing on the COLORS Map from the original CBFD, but of course everything looked so much more crisp and real but bubbly... saccharine and colorful as well.  Most satisfying sound and splash of blood whenever there was a headshot.  Really fun being put in the middle of the action, moving around inside the MAP as opposed to playing it from the outside.  I wish I had those kinds of dreams all the time.

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2016-03-16 08:50:31 +0000 UTC]

Some sort of disassociation? I get it sometimes
tbh I feel as though my spirit is trapped in this body...wrong body, wrong species

AND YEAH OMG anxiety just comes outta nowhere usually and for no apparent reason...and this numbness I feel is the anti depressants and mood stabiliser fuckin me up, I can't feel acute sadness or happiness anymore and anxiety builds up over time and surfaces ; . ; brain fog too bc why not

you're very good with words btw. Poetry??

yes those kind of dreams are amazing! Like you're in a better (imo) universe >:3 the conker dream I mentioned to you before, had some sort of new level, with the opposing side coming from a boat on a beach in between two rock cliffs, (shc side is that one. It's basically a slightly different beach dead..) and a boring ass rock wall for the tediz :'3 I was a sneaker Tedi who looked very similar to the future war dude, slashing and stabbing the opponents (THEY WERENT ACTUALLY SQUIRRELS BTW lmfao just random characters??? Like I remember a charizard and some other characters I completely forgot about haha)

also in another part of that dream I was a sniper :3 my aim was gr8 in that dream, it was lovely u v u

OH HEY didja see this? gamerant.com/rumor-young-conke…

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2016-03-22 02:19:10 +0000 UTC]

There are certainly times where I feel "not at home" in this body, or among this species... 

Which is a strange feeling and doesn't make sense.  I just end up thinking, "Then who or what am I, if not this?  And why am I here, of all people?"  Sometimes I do feel trapped, other times I just feel genuinely confused... 
I can't understand what living, sentient flesh is.  The thought of existence itself becoming incomprehensible, alien.  But what else is there...?

I would like to be able to live without happiness or sadness...  and sentience or consciousness too for that matter.  Just be an unthinking, unfeeling complex object going through life without experiencing emotion.

But I don't fuck with any mood stabilisers or anti-depressants.  I just grit my teeth and deal with the horrible feelings when they reach into my mind and defile me.  It sucks that you have anxiety buildup even with those stabilisers...  I always feel like if I could excise emotion and anxiety, I could live a much more better, focused life.

And yeah I read a lot...  I don't read a lot of poetry though... 

Your dreaming sounds cool as hell... and yeah I know what you mean about it being in a better universe.  I just fucking noticed that all of the shit that haunts you when you're awake is basically {for me, at least} nonexistent while in that universe of dreams.  You can just dive into the fun of furry war and violence and not give a fuck about what's happening in your day to day shit.  And lol imagining a future war-esque Tedi slashing and fucking up a Charizard, rofl... random as fuck... 

And Good God please don't remind me of that...  Project Spark and now Young Conker?  The franchise is getting raped and beaten to death before our very eyes, lol.  How could this happen... 

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2016-04-04 07:01:45 +0000 UTC]

It's very common for me rip

shit's weird man
kINDA UNRELATED BUT UM I feel as tho the government is like..y'know, kinda enslaving us n stuff ; v ; I mean rly governments only exist today bc of a buncha greedy rich people who wanted control over EVERYTHING...and now living as we are now is completely normal. Also a little bit kinda unrelated, you know the banking/money system?? A few countries don't have that atm! I think one of them is Syria. America wants to get rid of them bc of that, they're not following that banking system! ...I have no idea why I told you that but.,uh yeah the government is p bad yeah
btw I do not hate America or generally any country if you got that idea! n v n I actually want to go there lmao

i don't think I want to exist at all, hehe. Maybe a sleep like state forever, or some dream?? Just not this place 

ughhnn I really want to get off these tablets! Either do a natural way of good feels, or like you, just deal with it. id have to stop comparing my art to other people's tho, bc it's really hard to draw with me gutting myself with false garbage 

i used to read a lot, but then I just kinda started focusing on art and the Internet a lot more. Not as interested in it anymore unfortunately!! Unless I could find some informative books on mass murderers/serial murderers?? That stuff is rly interesting hh
i used to type um..better? I guess?? Not using things like atm, lmao, tbh just mt using those abbreviations I think their called??

my dreams are really vivid :'3 I can imagine things happening in my dreams now tbh!! Like control them a bit, and force myself to wake up if a dream feels as if it is going to take an unpleasant turn.
yeah that's true!! Tho some of my dreams has some things from rl pop up and make me anxious o . O unconsciously thinking bout them a lot.
in dreams you have a lot more confidence to do things u v u like say something you usually wouldn't, fight, or even fuck someone lmao

oh!! Just a thing, do you know what a Tulpa is? I'm not sure if you'd be interested in it, but imo it's a really interesting thing!! tulpa.info is the first place I'd go.

good ol Microsoft. c': I LONG for rare to get conker back but..ah I can only dream
but I'm still interested in young conker a bit!! Trying to be hopeful, but then again it's Microsoft :'D
is it possible to make a game of conker?? Like, say a fan game? I'm not 100% sure if Microsoft would take the game down or sue ya, hehe cuz i don't know much about that stuff Q v Q;;

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-11-23 08:57:42 +0000 UTC]

oh cool thanks.  yah i love Tediz.  actually just got on to upload a Tediz piece tonight.  fatatonda, fatatonda, uuuuuuun maggacheyeyeyeyuh.   lol.  okay.  thanks for the comment. 

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-11-23 09:15:02 +0000 UTC]

np! c: yeah tediz are the best o w o wish there were more tediz artists out there.
ye, i saw it! it looks amazing, and you were using your non dominant hand! gj!

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-11-23 09:33:16 +0000 UTC]

yah gotta dig for tediz zstuff nowadays :<
is a good tediz artist and very sexy furry artist
has some of my favorite pics of tediz here: dark-doodle.deviantart.com/gal… fucking gorgeous avatars if i do say so myself.  lol. 
another really good Tediz artist I remember from way back in the day is called Peanut, I think, but I forgot what her username was on dA.  She did them amazing tho.

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-11-23 09:58:54 +0000 UTC]

i've seen all three c: third one is Schnab, i think you're talking about. sonne is one of my fave artists! and i really love Schnab's style of drawing tediz!!

like honestly, i think i've seen just about all the tediz/conker artists on da! lmao. i even went and looked fa, some on photo bucket, on sofurry...or weasyl, forgot w/e it was, and even ConkersCrib. it saddens me that there isn't any conker fan sites up, still :c i would've loved to be on one of em, went they were still looming with people.
it's really great to see theres still an active tediz artist here tho!

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-11-27 04:01:10 +0000 UTC]

hell yeah is who I was thinking of, she is really great at it, and does a lot of cool Ed Edd n Eddy art too. 
And yeah, it's really sad so many conker websites have just disintegrated into the internet...   conker's crib was a cool one, and the one i used to go on all the time was the conkerbase forums.  those used to be popping every day.  i think i was in sixth grade, i think around 2005? when i discovered conker base. 
if you know how to make websites you should make one and compile the conker's artwork and artists that you've found across the web.  i've seen some really cool new artists recently during random searches on google but couldn't find out who actually drew em. 
         

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-11-27 04:11:10 +0000 UTC]

yeah, i love her art!!
yeah :/ i really would love to unite conker/tediz/shc fans again!! start rp forums, compile art like you said, etc etc. don't know how to do that lmao, don't know if i'd be able to hold all the responsibility for the site XD
i wish i knew conker in 2005!! i didn't tho lmao,, didn't get the game until 2008? never really played it until last year haha
what ones? i might know them. or maybe not, haha

AND WOW DUDE TYSM FOR THE WATCH!! it's really an honor!! :'0 i'm not sure if i'm going to be posting tediz art regularly tho, bc i don't actually have a tediz oc! (scrapped all of them, i didn't like them XD ) so yeah just letting you know so you won't be disappointed or anything! :3c 

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-11-29 03:12:56 +0000 UTC]

yeah running a website can be a big responsibility at times...  if you intend to update every day... 
it's something i would consider doing if i, as i hope, one day learn more about computer programming and web design.  but i don't have nearly enough of a complete directory of all tediz/conker/shc artists to do so...  but yeah if i learn more about computers and web design its something i would consider if i could hunt down enough content. 

oh damn so you are new to conker!  didn't know people still discovered it so recently.  i thought the franchise was pretty much dead by this point with them putting conker on some weird "create your own world" microsoft project without blood or cursing... 

and yeah it's cool just watching to keep in contact.  if i ever get to the point where i can do websites i will need to hit you up to help hunt down art and artists and stuff as i only know a handful. 

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-11-29 03:36:29 +0000 UTC]

yeah i'd imagine it would be :<
theres always pro boards! well that could be used for forums n stuff, i don't think you can post pictures there.

yeah sorta c: well i played it a while ago when i was little, it scared the SHIT outta me then tbh, but then i started playing last year and i was like DUDE THIS IS ACTUALLY GREAT
yeah i think they still would, i mean, conker bfd is basically a cult classic i would say? or at least some sort of classic. people would probably take interest from their i'd think.
yeah that kinda really pissed me off! i mean when you hit the tediz in project spark, i'm pretty sure that fluff came out instead of blood? since when?? toning it down really just...aggh >:T idk

i know a shit ton!! i'd be glad to get a list of all the known ones. but i thing tho, as you'd expect a majority of them are inactive...sadly...though there are still active ones! i know 4 active ones that post regularly off the top of my head

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-12-05 04:49:46 +0000 UTC]

I do not trust Pro Boards at all.  Me and my buddies have made three forums with them, and each one got taken down without any explanation.  We tried contacting them and figuring out why our forums were taken down, with a lot of writing we had written there, but they said they reserved the right to take down any forum at any time for any reason whatsoever. If what you're doing is important to you I would say fvck pro boards.

but yeah when I first played Conker wasn't actually the first time I really got into it, I think I was 8 years old at first but I didn't understand how to play, wasn't until 3 years later I got a copy for myself from one of my old roommates who said I could keep it and after that I was in love. 

And yeah that Project Spark is really messed up... lol...  of course the Tediz had stuffing in the N64 BFD but they also had yellow-greenish blood as well wh en you hit them with a Bazooka or Chainsaw or Shotgun.  Truly amazing game tho.  I get a little too misty-eyed nostalgic and long-winded talking about it.  Yeah a lot of conker folks have gone inactive because a lot of the main conker websites went down and everything and there's not been a real new release since live and reloaded (I don't count the Spark stuff).  i'm only semi-active myself and then I only sometimes draw Tedi and Squirrels part of the time when I draw. 

if you do have a list of conker artists let me know tho.  it would be good to check them out or pass it on to someone who can make a website or directory of them.

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-12-05 06:29:16 +0000 UTC]

wow what a dick move from them...well i won't be using that site ever again! ._.

i've never played the n64 ver tbh!! i really want to, but a n64 console and the game itself is pretty pricey these days ; w ;
well! on that note, if you ever make a conker site, i'll totally spread the work around! and contribute a lot ahha,,
i love your drawings of tediz and squirrels! omg,, they have a realistic look to them, and the way you draw them is so unique and lovely <3

uh well i got these off the top of my head, plus there's sonne and schnab :3c

honey-tediz

viki12rocks

nightbare

minorisursae

www.pixiv.net/member_illust.ph…

janesheep

pinkyparrot

rocketthehedgehog

mewringo

utsukushii-hachisu

unless i specified otherwise like on that dude on pixiv, these people are all on DA.
they are all active, tho pinkyparrot isnt. they haven't been on for..300 something weeks.

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countconkula In reply to VENTl [2015-12-12 00:08:12 +0000 UTC]

damn this is big list...  gotta take some time and look thru these altho I'm not online as much as I used to be these days.  thanks for checkin out my art too and getting all these together!

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VENTl In reply to countconkula [2015-12-12 01:13:05 +0000 UTC]

no problem! n v n glad to help.

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countconkula In reply to ellesra [2014-05-18 08:36:56 +0000 UTC]

Thank you.  I appreciate it when people can enjoy it.

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