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evhappyil
βοΈ
[1892980]
[2005-09-13 23:08:08 +0000 UTC]
"A. Sroka"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 44; Deviations: 211; Watchers: 10
Watching: 16; Pageviews: 7200; Comments Made: 112; Friends: 16
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: Alfred RiveraFavorite movies: The Miracle Worker
Favorite bands / musical artists: The Misfits
Favorite writers: Baudelaire (rightnow)
Favorite games: Houdini
Other Interests: collage, fingerpainting, acrylic + acrylic transfer, pen and marker, poetry
# About me
Current Residence: Providence, RIFavourite genre of music: Dark and Forboding Noise Experimental RIOT Punk Rock Madness Improv Home brewed evil
# Comments
Comments: 64
whatever.
I saw Texas Chainsaw Massacre in 3d last night. Way fun.
p.s. you WISH you could cause me mental turmoil HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Hidden by Owner
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Hidden by Owner
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Obviously you miss understand my metaphors,
why is everyone so confused with my words?
Andrea, you and I will never ever see each other again in person, in our life's,
It is important that when we talk you erase all your self taught notions.
Thank you for proving my point.
Life is not about you or I.
Life is not that serious.
I am glad we talk. Someday, I hope we will be able to talk on a deeper level.
Jamie [link]
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I'm so happy you love me! There is never any harm in that, take care.
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it seems like this boy is the most interesting thing in your life at the moment, honored.
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Happy Birthday!!!
I had a dream two nights ago, I was talking to you on the phone and we were splitting up material items, then I woke up.
Complete destruction by;
William Carlos Williams
It was an icy day.
We buried the cat,
then took her box
and set fire to it
in the back yard.
Those fleas that escaped
earth and fire
died by the cold.
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I find I have very little to say most of the time.
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that is a shame Andrea, with so many adjectives in a world full of small details, word choice should be the only possible problem.
I don't even remember writing you this comment, must have been a moment of drunken nostalgia,
Well I hope your ears were ringing,
βJudge a man by his questions rather than by his answersβ
Voltaire
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I love that squirrel, especially the big stitching and the impossibly cute tail. (oh and the sweet belly too.) can you tell I like small critters or what? but seriously the stitching is where its at.
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Thank you. 
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Invictus
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
William Ernest Henley 1875
I my teacher showed me this poem in class, if you look it up on wikipedia it has a huge list of pop culture using it (Timothy McVeigh's final words). Invictus means unconquerable
in Latin. Hope all is well.
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Join now, #artist-of-the-month
would you like to be the artist of the month? in this group you can be! Join now and maby you are the next artist of the month!
All kinds of art that fills our gallery, And a And a special gallery for members, Features, And more! Join now! every week we will feature one deviation and at the end of the month you can vote for the monthly deviation!
:iconartst-of-the-month: Wants you to join!
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Andrea.... I am sober writing this,
I would love if you talk more, I know how you change your day to day feelings towards me, and thats cool. I have no intentions, But tell me about your life, wedding, etc.
I would love to tell you abut my life and past situations with you (but I am waiting for you to ask).
A man who limits his interests, limits his life.
Vincent Price
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hey, Rattfink died last night. Make something for her memory?
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wow I am truly saddened by this news. I just turned on Acid Bath bleed me an ocean, and I am sipping (chugging) my Cobra for her...
I will make lots of Art work, writing, etc for her... Johnny and I are writing our set for our New Years eve show I will have to write a song for her.
Sorry to hear the news
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by Stephen Crane
In heaven,
Some little blades of grass
Stood before God.
"What did you do?"
Then all save one of the little blades
Began eagerly to relate
The merits of their lives.
This one stayed a small way behind,
Ashamed.
Presently, God said,
"And what did you do?"
The little blade answered, "Oh my Lord,
Memory is bitter to me,
For, if I did good deeds,
I know not of them."
Then God, in all His splendor,
Arose from His throne.
"Oh, best little blade of grass!" He said.
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To give life you must take life,
and as our grief falls flat and hollow
upon the billion-blooded sea
I pass upon serious inward-breaking shoals rimmed
with white-legged, white-bellied rotting creatures
lengthily dead and rioting against surrounding scenes.
Dear child, I only did to you what the sparrow
did to you; I am old when it is fashionable to be
young; I cry when it is fashionable to laugh.
I hated you when it would have taken less courage
to love.
Charles Bukowski
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A man who limits his interests, limits his life.
Vincent Price
It's as much fun to scare as to be scared.
Vincent Price
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Andrea sorry,
I talked with three people who said I need to talk with you, and after fighting the urge I said fuck it (and I am sorry if it bothers you).
I am glad Ratfinka is doing good, I got a rat 3 days after you left and she is still alive her name is; John Workman Zemp the 4TH, she is an albino rat, she is real healthy and the reasons I have her are 1. she is female 2. hands were reached in the cage and she was the was the first to respond...
Fuck I don't know what to say, I am afraid I will say the wrong things...
but my intuition wont shut up... Fuck
I wish I had the right words
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Rattfinka is old, she pees a lot and has a new lump I know is not caused by hormones. I feel badly that I can't give her the same kind of life she had. I will be very sad when she goes. Why do people say this and why are you fighting some urge?
Why did you get a rat 3 days after I left? I think you are exaggerating unless you mean 3 days after I said wasn't coming back, why do you do that?
Anyway, it doesn't bother me that your deepest urge seems to be telling me about john workman zemp IV. you are cool. -Andrea
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that is sad... Poor Ratfinka... Do you plan on wearing her with your wedding dress. And I got two Rats three days after you left, one for Jen Baldwin (who Sasha ate) and Workman, When I was doing drugs I became irriatable with animals and slowly I learned to love them again (and Ratfinka helped that, as did Sasha, I couldn't really get a dog, although... Darcy is around now.
And it was a exxageration, I was drunk and thinking about Kalob, Kitty, everything greenfield like back roads smoke rides, Sagem's head, etc... While I was listening to Dax Riggs telling people about Colin. I am glad I was polite I was worryied I might have been rude (I also wrote Kalob and Kitty).
How is the wedding planning coming, I bet you must be excited
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"A man who limits his interests, limits his life."
Vincent Price
Sorry Drea,
If I overstep my place sorry. Cant give up, wont give, yada yada ya,
"I rather be forgotten then remembered for giving in"
I hope all is well sorry for the over messaging I mean well.
Work on our shit.
... and believe in your self, although I doubt I will ever see you again in my life I do believe the world is in your hand... Believe, PLEASE!
Goodnight
(p.s. Johnny, Christen and I are Jamming Weezer's Pinkerton album)
HOW IS RATFINKA?
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I'm not sure what the fuck you're talking about. Don't rip the fairy tale apart...,although you erased some things already which really sucks of you. but whatever. It doesn't belong to you. Just leave it as it is.
I have new projects to undertake, and while our work meant a lot to me before, my priorities have switched drastically, unexpectedly within the past two weeks. I'm beginning a new life with Alfred and my focus is on our collaboration right now, melding everything together just right.
ps My interests are not by any means limited
pps. Rattfinka still loves kisses tho she moves slow...what a fatty!
AND I loved the lated video on myspace. I want to be that guy.
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Thank you for telling me about Ratfinka!!!!!! She is living to be pretty old for a rat, I am Happy for that!
and I am not trying to argue with you, who does it (the art) belong to?
I am trying to finish unfinished work, that is not a hit on you in any sort of way.
I have respect enough to not talk about my life and I only say that because I feel like you are always forgetting that I have other things to do.
I am glad for your Marriage... really I swear!
Andrea, really being nice and not as a shot understand that I have tons of art and writing projects I get paid for, I have school, I have a long term girlfriend, Aleesha (who I only see twice a year), my dog, my house, etc. So I understand life and it's priorities (I respect that, really I do!)
Any how I am going to do something with them, I am willing to compromise or I can cut and paste leaving the originals intact, and when or if I do release them I will write an intro letter on them so people will understand that I took my liberty with them (promise)
p.s. just because you knew me as some kind of monster it doesn't mean that I am the same person any more, People change all the time, and I changed a lot!
P.S. I am glad you liked the Video, Christen showed me it on my B day, and I was very impressed also!
P.s. Meditate on the possiabillitys of change,
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This particular project means a lot to me. I would just prefer it to be left as it is. okay? Just fucking leave it to the internet archivists to uncover like the dead sea scrolls or something.
I think you just have to understand that I always felt very very deeply for you and extremely hurt that you didn't feel them same way about me.
but it doesn't matter anymore.
I'm very happy you're doing all those things you always knew you could do.<3 andrea
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This is a full circle of nothingness,
You want to do one thing I want to do another (I dont see a wrong or right).
I am so frustrated over the outcome of this project that I believe to be so great... I believe in a better compromise then internet archivists.
And I understand your comment but I dont believe it was that I did not feel the same, Obviously I was a drug addict where every thing was hidden deep inside (even from myself), and two I had (and still am working on) some female resentment issuses (My Mothers belief in tough love, Angel waving Aleesha around like a trophy, etc) and yes you did suffer from that, as does Christen Now, I still dont kiss or have sex.
I am aware of my actions and although I haven't completely fixed them I feel much better about going forward (thankyou Annie and Jen),
I am Honestly happy that you brought that up, I know my answer is blunt but it is true, and Honesty is something you never got before.
I don't know what to say, I do believe you are a friend and in the rare situation where maybe you can help it a little bit...
and P.S. you dont have to swear I have no negative energy (although on a computer words have no tone, confussing intention)
P.S.S. this conversation has been helpful and healthy to me, thank you!
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This is a full circle of nothingness,
You want to do one thing I want to do another (I dont see a wrong or right).
I am so frustrated over the outcome of this project that I believe to be so great... I believe in a better compromise then internet archivists.
And I understand your comment but I dont believe it was that I did not feel the same, Obviously I was a drug addict where every thing was hidden deep inside (even from myself), and two I had (and still am working on) some female resentment issuses (My Mothers belief in tough love, Angel waving Aleesha around like a trophy, etc) and yes you did suffer from that, as does Christen Now, I still dont kiss or have sex.
I am aware of my actions and although I haven't completely fixed them I feel much better about going forward (thankyou Annie and Jen),
I am Honestly happy that you brought that up, I know my answer is blunt but it is true, and Honesty is something you never got before.
I don't know what to say, I do believe you are a friend and in the rare situation where maybe you can help it a little bit...
and P.S. you dont have to swear I have no negative energy (although on a computer words have no tone, confussing intention)
P.S.S. this conversation has been helpful and healthy to me, thank you!
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Love In The Asylum by Dylan Thomas
A stranger has come
To share my room in the house not right in the head,
A girl mad as birds
Bolting the night of the door with her arm her plume.
Strait in the mazed bed
She deludes the heaven-proof house with entering clouds
Yet she deludes with walking the nightmarish room,
At large as the dead,
Or rides the imagined oceans of the male wards.
She has come possessed
Who admits the delusive light through the bouncing wall,
Possessed by the skies
She sleeps in the narrow trough yet she walks the dust
Yet raves at her will
On the madhouse boards worn thin by my walking tears.
And taken by light in her arms at long and dear last
I may without fail
Suffer the first vision that set fire to the stars.
Andrea, did you look at the zine or attempt anything with the old stuff (andreajamie)? O hope all is well or at leaset getting better, Jamie
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I did. I Like the order. The new ending sounds good so far I will work on it right now.
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Cool, thanks. I was very consceince to the parts you did not like, and I did remove most of the 'we are all looking for a fix' lines. I dont really see a end to it, I am kind of discouraged, so thank you for the help.
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So the beginning is the end....so why not make the end the beginning? Thats what I was going for anyway....the circle cycle death rebirth winter spring pheonix from the ashes thing.
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I think I was just going to be a wise ass, but with more thought your right, the end can be the beginning, I could tell if you did that much to it, did you? I am getting ready to tear the fairy tale stuff apart but I was waiting to see if you would make first move.
end the beginning?
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p.s. I feel very connected with the last line of the Dylan Thomas Poem right now.
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I am glad you like it, I was just reading lots of Dylan Thomas and Oscar Wilde and I figured you could use a poem to read.
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I am on your shit (like a fly), why?
Because your sacrafice helped me over come, the only better gift I have recieved is Aleesha,
So I owe you a life until I save yours...
Where is the new Art?
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where is this life you owe me?
Don't say things that you don't mean to me.
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Andrea you wont allow me to try and heal the wounds I have created, nor do I deserve a chance.
I do mean what I say, I don't know how to do it, I am a little intimidated by the situation, I am sorry if I reflect my feelings of remorse and guilt onto you,
(I forgot I wrote this so understand I am answering your reply and not trying to dig up shit, I am happy to be talking to you and I don't want to push you away,etc, so don't tread where you are possiablly going to get upset, I don't want to hurt you), Thank you for being respectful. I do think about you often. I really don't know how to answer your statement
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Thank a lot for the fav...
Glad to get it from someone like you.
Like your aww
work
Greeetz Salla
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thank you too. I see your a fellow Dax Riggs fan. Apparently he has a poetry zine out there...have you read it?
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