kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-10-28 21:47:04 +0000 UTC]

omg I'm sorry this comes late but THANK YOU VERY MUCH <3

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-10-31 05:27:18 +0000 UTC]

ur welcome! how was your day??

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-11-03 13:59:37 +0000 UTC]

It was ok I guess, although I've become really suicidal again. I thought is was over and I'd be okay by now but it seems like I'll have to wait at little more :/ I'm very tired all the time because of school and my exam weeks but still I can't sleep, don't know why
How are you?

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-11-07 07:34:56 +0000 UTC]

aww im so sorry to hear that! u know if u feel like doing something to yourself please send me a message first, i would hate to lose u ! please know im always here! i care alot thats no good well look ill send u a note and please send me one

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-08-21 21:25:06 +0000 UTC]

yeah sure you can talk to me! sorry i've not been online much so this comes a little bit late ^^' but tell me more, I'll listen ! losing a friend is hard, I've lost many but it's okay, I wouldn't want to be friends with me either. self harm isn't a weakness, it's just a signal to other people that you need help, you need help now. i don't know if life has a meaning, I mean I don't live, I feel like I'm dead but I'm still keeping on living because I have no other choice. but tell me more about yourself :3 (I hope you haven't done anything bad for yourself because I'm really late with this reply I'm so sorry)

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-08-22 07:52:50 +0000 UTC]

hey,
thanks so much for this message it means alot i actually don't know wether my friend is real and the police have been investigating it.
it has overall been a very hard and confusing time.
thanks for caring i may go to hospital soon if my self harming doesn't get better.
thanks so much again, i would like to talk to if thats ok,
Liv xx ps: i have depression, anxiety and an eating disorder.
i do get help from a physciatrist on a weekly basis and she is always saying i need to go to hospital ):

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-08-22 12:56:05 +0000 UTC]

thank god you're safe, you scared the hell out of me
you have very similar problems with me, i have difficult depression and anxiety and they keep saying that i have anorexia too and i don't know i'm confused but it's okay. it's good that you are getting some kind of help, but i know it doesn't always work that way. i was hospitalized last fall, for 5½ weeks and it didn't help me at all. yes, i don't try to kill myself 24/7 like i used to, but it doesn't mean i'm alright. i'm just tired, too tired to even kill myself. i'm just here, i feel like dead already, i'm not living, i'm just existing. my cutting is bad, my right arm is full of deep, dark scars, you can't see my skin clearly because it's covered by scars. i have cuts in my legs, left arm too but they're not so deep, and older too so they're white already. i'm not hiding them, it doesn't matter anymore but ofc i'll hide them if someone asks.
so tell me more about that friend thing? i didn't understand all of it, i guess. and you can talk me about anything, i want to help you n__n i don't know how to but i can still try.
remember, if you think that no one would care if you died, I DO CARE. i'm really worried about you, and honestly i would cry very hard if you died. yo seem so sweet person :3 <3 it's sad that all the good people are having hard times.

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-09-11 11:46:31 +0000 UTC]

hey, if u don't mind im gonna ramble a bit:
i have a disability don't freak out ok, its not a bad one but once people get to know me they sense i m different.
i have got bullied alot cuz of this like called, gay, retard, lesbian, bitch, cunt and been pushed into things.
then i started cutting as a coping mechanism in year 6 and i have been doing it ever since then. sometimes i just do little scratches but sometimes i cut deep that i need stitches.
that same year i developed anorexia and became really skinny everyone says that i was almost put in hospital.
my dad sometimes hits me too if he gets really angry.
this year i attempted suicide due to finding out one of my internet friends died. i was in a really depressed state and was diagnosed with depression.
i have been seeing a physciatrist for most of this year to help me with things.
so i am getting help for things.
she's nice but i can never really express everything im thinking to her because i get scared i will have to go to hospital or something.
my eating disorder is worse at the moment and i have been losing alot of weight again. i just want to be perfect !
thanks again ur amazing never forget it!! and i would hat having a tube shoved down my throat i really hope i don't have to go!

Liv

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-09-11 20:27:24 +0000 UTC]

sorry about late reply. you know, i think you're awesome. people who bully you are mostly just jealous, trust me. but nobody's perfect, that's a fact and that's how things should be. but you're original, there is nobody who could replace you. just you being you is amazing, i'm sorry to hear about the bad things happened to you. nobody should feel like that, not you or me or anyone but i guess life is being a bitch to those people who are nice and sweet etc :/
does anyone know about your dad hitting you? that's not right, not at all, even if he's angry he's doing wrong. it's not your fault if he has problems, and if you think it's your fault then you're wrong too. he's an adult, and he should can deal with his own problems without hurting you.
have you ever tried music therapy? like, if there's some songs that describe your feelings, maybe you should show them to your psychiatrist? or if you like drawing/painting etc then maybe you should draw or write about your feelings and explain your problems in that way?
but like i said, losing weight is a bad thing. you're perfect just the way you are, remember that !

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-09-14 01:05:52 +0000 UTC]

thats okay sorry about the late reply too <3
yeah thats totally true bad things always happen to the nicest people. know no one knows really he just does it when hes really angry and my mum did it the other day and i ended up on the ground.
i did tell a friend at one stage but that backfired and our principal saw the email i sent her. they were going to call the police but decided not to so if i mention it again i may be taken away. yes i have i tried that this year it didn't really help but it was fun <3 and thankyou no one has ever said that to me, i sent u a note by the way sorry if its long and i rambled a bit

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-09-21 10:07:10 +0000 UTC]

but it isn't okay even if you want to stay home. your parents should really think what they're doing, I'm sure they love you and stuff but when things are getting ugly then it's better that you're a couple of weeks somewhere else, possibly in the hospital or something, idk how things are working in there where you live. your parents need a wake up call, so they realize how badly they are hurting you!
nono it's okay you can ramble to me when you feel like it!

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-09-24 07:09:46 +0000 UTC]

yeah i guess thats true but last time i told someone the police almost got involved! and thanks so much im always here for you too

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-08-26 07:33:27 +0000 UTC]

thanks so much im not really im still struggling alot and the policeman has got back to me and said my friend probably isn't real ); i have had lots of suicidal thoughts and self harm
could u check out my blog on tumblr it explains more about me so i don't have to type alot,: scarredbutterfly.tumblr.com
thanks again for the saying u be here it really means alot at this point thanks (: sorry for the late reply and i so sorry i scared u i didn't mean that. im sorry u have been through so much too, but im always here to talk cuz i care alot about u as well, u know that?? i may still be getting hospitalised but what was ur experience like its ok if u don't wanna talk about it ,
xx

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-08-31 12:33:17 +0000 UTC]

yeah i checked it out and started following you and i think i learned much about you. it seems that you've been feeling bad many years now, and i know i'm sounding stupid and boring when i say this but i'm sure that someday you'll be fine. maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but i promise, someday.
my experience of hospital? well let me think. the hospital was okay, it wasn't so bad place what i first thought it would be. when i went there the first time everything felt so unreal and weird but i guess that's normal when you've tried several times to kill yourself in the same day and then cut your both arms full of cuts and stuff like that, but then you just get used to it. usually you can go outside and have a little walk, but they didn't let me to go outside without nurse because they thought that i would try to commit suicide again :/ then there was different kinds of therapies like music therapy, art therapy etc etc and then ofc you're talking with psychologists and nurses daily. then you sleep and you eat and go to shower normally, i promise you'll get used to it and maybe make new friends, i got many new friends when i was there. you notice that you're not alone, there is people that have the same kind of problems like you have and you can get better. sorry my english isn't so good but i hope you understand something X3

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mangomagic101 In reply to kipupiste [2012-09-03 05:28:10 +0000 UTC]

thanks for the follow (=
and yeah thats true i have been.
i hope that it does too.
thats good it wasn't a bad experience for you because u seem really nice. remember im always here for you, i would cry really hard if u died as well.
i understand everything don't worry about your english (=
im not sure i will be going to hospital for that reason anymore , it may be for my eating disorder, so that could be quite different, i have heard about it from my dietician and other people and it doesn't sound too good. i hope i don't have to go for that reason. i would like to get to know u more, u seem nice,
could we start noting each other about how we are going? (: XD

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kipupiste In reply to mangomagic101 [2012-09-03 20:35:43 +0000 UTC]

yeah it wasn't so bad, although there were some nurses who yelled at me 24/7 because i wasn't good enough but it was fine.
it's true that going to there because of an eating disorder is different, but there was a couple of girls who had an eating disorder so i know a little about that too. they had to eat a lot and if they didn't eat then they had to do it by tube-feeding. they were in a hospital until they gained enough weight
yeah, let's do that ^^ you seem really nice too

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kipupiste In reply to Chrupki [2012-01-30 19:16:11 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome n___n

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