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| manush1991
manush1991
[9341673]
[2009-01-11 18:08:30 +0000 UTC]
"http://manushcj.wordpress.com/"
(India)
# Statistics
Favourites: 690; Deviations: 0; Watchers: 36
Watching: 65; Pageviews: 12788; Comments Made: 1530; Friends: 65
# Comments
Comments: 186
Thanks for adding my work to your 3D collection.
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it was a good work, i thank you for posting it!
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no , thank you!, you work is fantastic!
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I was going to preview the message I wrote back to you and it disappeared. I don't know where it was. Hope it got to you.
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yes i received the message
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Happy Birthday my friend.
~ Did I miss the right day? I was watching it approach, then got busy with things in the traditional account... If I'm late, I hope you had a good celebration and are off to a great start on your new year.
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my birthdays are unlike common notions on celebration, it is a quite day, my parents insist on cake, so there is cake, but i make sure there is silence in the house, it helps me think.
my birthday was on the 5th of January, i am glad you remembered.
i am still unsure of when you were born, i think you mentioned it a while ago, but cant seem to remember now. there is guilt that persists until i am able to wish you too, this is what i dislike about birthdays, i have bad memory when it comes to these kinds of things.
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Bad memories for such things seems to be part of the human condition. If one gets creativity, it crowds out little daily details. Please don't let it bother you. I was born on Nov. 16
I will always remember your birthday now. I think I told you, I was married 23 years, and he left after I got breast cancer. Sad to say, it was the best thing he ever did for me. But I have integrated lessons learned and enjoy my life now all the more because of that experience. The 5th was/is his birthday. I still pray for him on that day, and wish him good things.
I'm like you. I prefer quiet. Even at family celebrations, I usually have to go in another room, where I can hear them, but get a little distance. [I have a very loud extended family.]
What I do like, is lobster. I only eat it on my birthday.
I spent Christmas Day and News Years very content at home alone, next to my fireplace. I loved that it was cold enough to have a fire, without turning on the air conditioning. Hah! I live in north Florida, on the coast. A beautiful city and perfect weather for my taste.
For New Years I put out a journal feature on my traditional account, posted at exactly 12:01 ~ the first minute of this new decade.
<-- Remember, he was forget full. So was Sir Isaac Newton. It is told that he was found holding an egg while boiling his watch. And in his day, a watch was a very important possession.
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUD!!!!
Best wishes to you on your big day!
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thanks but you are still older than me. that is just plain unfair.
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Enjoy your youth! I turn 21 in 1 month and I feel SO OLD
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Wanted to let you know I was thinking of you as we enter a new decade.
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we enter a new decade, we enter a new year, we enter a new day, but i wish to break away from the idea of time, and see if we can exist in a state of timelessness.
i have been thinking extensively about the life of an individual. we coexist with time and i want to experience something differently, however momentary it may be. ( time being the duration of this experience 
i wish you happiness that transcends the mortal experience.
keep well Melanie
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My last piece of artwork is about that. I kept it light in my comments, but it was this topic I was reflecting on. If you have "a moment" read under my last entry, the title is "The Last One OR Lend A Hand"...
As I am getting older, and facing the big changes that a human body experiences, I have thought even more about this. How, what appears so concrete to us, the temporal, is actually in astrophysics or metaphysics, or macrobiology, or Hubble telescope images -- NOT just philosophically,,, just "vapor" in very fast changing motion, at the atomic level.
Jesus taught that His Kingdom was "within us", and that He Himself will live in us if we invite Him to, with an understanding of who He is and what it is He does. I do have "glimpses" of happiness that transcends the mortal experience. I am completely certain we are all eternal, spiritual beings. And that our individuality will remain because it was given to us by "the other" = GOD.
I'm happy to hear from you Manush and I wish you this happiness too. Thank you.
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Hi, thank you so much for stopping by and faving my *Red-Haired*
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I saw you were here just 8 hours ago. Sorry I missed you. We could have had a semi-chat. I'm still far from using skype. But perhaps someday.
I've thought often about your question. Do you have conversations with people in your head in idle moments? Times like that, and also during times when Jesus is being very personal with me. I'll think, this would be a good example...
This link, below, if you listen all the way to the end, he explains a lot of what I would say. He is a VERY unique person, most worth the time to listen and watch him.
[link]
I am so forgetful these days, too many things for my mind to manage. Even at my age, I am still working on getting organized systems for keeping up with everything. But I am involved in a whirlwind of stuff.
Currently, I'm racing around, frames scattered all over my house, as I am pulling together a solo art exhibit. Part of the work for me is to find things that will work together using frames and mats I already have. I want them, when all put up on the same wall, to be pleasing as a group.
I like to use framing as part of the art, so I don't go with the all silver or all gold metal, or all black...
That would be too easy! Haaa
I really do look forward to the day when we can get back, more in touch with each other. Every time I start to write to you, my head fills up with SO MUCH to say, I just haven't been able to grab one thought to start with.
I hope that means the time just hasn't been right, and not that I have been neglectful. If the latter, please forgive me. I would love for you to be able to get a gllimpse into what this, what Jesus, means to me.
It is a story that stretches from the Alpha to the Omega, beginning to the end. But also, every little moment throughout my little life, so much I could tell you about.
I will begin praying especially about this, that I would bring to you some feel for what it is. Right now, He is especially working with me on your art/study topic.
I tend to be an energetic, gregarious personality, which is the way He made me and that is good. But there has always been an underlying unrest and jumpiness, even anxiety. My life circumstances helped to set that in place, and then the choices I made as I went along deepened this fear.
God has lately been showing me many root beliefs, at a subliminal level, that have kept that fear alive in me. As He goes along, in the place of the old fear [which was like the water I swam in, I was so unaware of it] -- He is bringing a new serenity that is taking over.
Jesus said to His closest friends, as He knew He was going to be letting the authorities take Him soon, some of His most profound messages. The thing that He said He had come here to give us.
Sort of like review at the end of a term, before the final exam. Haaa
He told them (the book is written by one of the guys he was talking to, that is very proven, historically documented)...
"In this life you will have tribulation, but take heart, because I have overcome the world."
By world, He was talking about the reality we can't escape. Our God did create for us a beautiful, perfectly balanced planet and life within us. But the planet, and we are under bondage of sin and evil,
... for now.
Everyone faces terrible uncertainties from our human point of view. The words Jesus said just before the quote I wrote above..."These things I have spoken to you...
[and I believe He wants me to insert my own name in such places..."I, Jesus, say this to you, Melanie, today"...AND it really feels that way, as though He is speaking to me, though not with an audible voice]
...to you, that in Me you may have peace."
I live close to Him, "IN Him"...something to talk about if you want. So many ways to describe that.
I don't know how much you know about the writings we call today the Bible. I spend time in it morning, journaling, talking to God, and listening.
Then in the evening I spend time in a different journal, reviewing my day, with Him. That journal is primarily a gratitude journal, where I take time to remember where I saw what I call "God-incidences" of very special timing. Things people often say, WOW, what a "coincidence". I don't believe in those.
I take note of special provision. Things that come to me in unusual ways. It happens a lot.
And the third specific thing, any answered prayer, either for me, or for someone else I am praying for. I greatly believe that prayer "changes things". That is somewhat a paradox, but I believe and have experienced that God likes to have relationship with us and by His working through our prayers, this becomes very real. Another complex subject.
Usually I take time again in the Bible, in this evening time, and He speaks to me. It is amazing how a theme is always so clear, that He is working with me about. I do experience HIS presence here and now.
God is at work in me, like twinkle, twinkle right now. As I grow in Him, I burn more brightly, and in death...NOVA time.
I hope school and life are treating you wonderfully, and that you gain much from God and His universe this year.
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I would send this in notes, but this computer can't do that.
I sit here watching a color wheel spin for about 5 minutes, only to get a message that it can't respond to script, or something.
On my journals if you roll back through those, I have said many things on the subject. [got the spinning wheel even while simply typing this comment = this computer is a mess to work with]
So, if you go to the page where you can simply roll down through my journals you will be able to see what if relevant. I would especially like for you to check out the links I gave with my journal on May 25. All the way at the bottom. Very interesting!!!! man who says a lot of what I would say. HE is quite a unique person.
Don't be concerned about how quickly you answer. I will understand.
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The link appears to be wrong. This computer can't follow it anyway.
If you go to her profile it is
In her gallery, I answered the question under the art titled, "Rebirth"
We also have a conversation under the one called "Jimmy, Pages 31-32"
Her gallery isn't so large that it will be hard to find the right ones by their titles.
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I can't get it to paste, but I hope this is the correct link to one conversation. You can find several, all the way back, if you go back many pages in her profile page comments, you will find a running conversation between us. Might make the most sense if you go back many pages and work forward.
Here was a conversation under one of her art pieces where she asked the same question. I answered it thinking of what might be relevant to her, and I would probably tell you different things. But it is still an honest look at one aspect of this relationship we are discussing.
[link]
Hope that takes you to the right page. I will add this comment and check.
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Currently I am using a very old iMac, that mostly gives me a message: "unresponsive script" whenever I try to even simply move down the page, much less bring up messages or art. Because of that, I can't get back to your note with the question in it, so I can't answer there.
If I can get it to work, I will describe some things about the relationship you inquired about, in my journal [if I can get that to post -- it worked the other day, but I did that in the library, not here] Even the computers in the library branches are VERY old, but I did get it to post a new journal entry for me.
It has been a holiday weekend here and the library was closed. As I just explained, I've gone there to use their computers, while I deal with the break down of my new laptop.
I have hopes that I will get more function from this iMac eventually. Some of the limitations may be my inability to "interface" with this machine. I bought it from a friend, and when she has time, she is going to meet with me, to help me get a better understanding.
I will drop you a special note to let you know when I have written something in my journal, which will be for you. I have other friends who are interested in this, so it will be good to put it where others can read too.
If you read my artist notes under the abstract that I painted, which is in my gallery -- called "Blood and Water Flowed", it is a little background on what I believe, which is where my personal relationship begins.
Starting last fall I have been talking a lot to a girl your age who was very interested. She encouraged me to keep writing, so I spoke of many things to her. I can link you to some of those conversation threads, if you want to read some of them. I think a few of them are under her art postings, in her gallery here on dA.
I have been thinking about you and your question very much, even though I didn't write back yet about it. That is partly because there is so MUCH I could write. I would like to give you an answer that would best connect, without overwhelming you with too much explanation and examples.
Have you begun your college?
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i posted a really general question earlier, i want to be a little more specific, i just need time to think about how i am going to phrase my sentences. otherwise it's going to be too much of a burden on you and difficult for me to organize my thoughts and respond appropriately.
yes please direct me towards this friend, it would be interesting to see your conversation.and i will check"Blood and Water Flowed".
but please do understand that a delay in reply is just a result of a mind in disarray. if that's the right word to use
college starts next week, the 12th. its supposed to be really demanding in terms of engagement with work, so i am going to rely on weekends to look at deviant art, and respond, but i hope to actively think about this topic on spirituality and religion during my work.
I am greatly pleased to see such enthusiasm on your side, thank you for the opportunity, i sometimes forget the age difference between us, and i like it, gives us perspective from our time , culture, gender.
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I've been thinking about you a lot since you wrote, but my computer had to go back to the factory about the same time we *almost* started a discussion about this. I look forward to seeing your new works. AND, explaining what I can about my personal relationship with Jesus.
The Psalms {right in the middle of the Christian Bible} are songs and poems written about God, or to God. They were written over a period of almost 1,000 years, dating from approximately 1400 B.C. to 586 B.C.
Psalms express personal thoughts about timeless issues such as guilt, fear, forgiveness, anger, joy, war, peace, worship, judgment, praise, grief and lots of prophecy about Christ, the Messiah who was to come.
I could write a book a day, and only be scratching the surface of what it is like to have a personal relationship with Him. First thing that pops in my head is Psalm 23. It ends with saying "goodness and love [or sometimes translated MERCY] will follow me all the days of my life..."
It is like, even when I get caught up and ignore or forget Him, He never forgets me. I have experienced and am confident that He will love me, until the last day of my life on earth, and then forever in the next world.
The word translated "follow me" [goodness and mercy will FOLLOW ME] is also used in the descriptions of how the first King of Israel, whose name was Saul, chased after the young man David.
This King Saul knew David would be the next King, and Saul hounded David for years, trying to catch and kill him. Eventually David was made King.
That same Hebrew word describing how Saul chased David is being used where it says here, "love will FOLLOW ME".
Only God follows me to bless me, and I am confident He will do this all the days of MY life, just like the author described in his Psalm all those years ago.
Psalm 22 very much ties in. It is a prediction of what Jesus was going to experience when He was crucified on a Roman cross. That kind of execution was not even invented for another 700 years, but the words describe exactly what happens to someone being crucified. Jesus quotes the first line of this Psalm 22 as He was dying on the cross. Jesus said "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"
Those are exactly the first words of Psalm 22. [The little numbers refer to verses within the chapter, which is the first number, when you see it written like this: Psalm 22:6-8] I don't know if you've seen the Christian Bible.
Verses 6, 7, and 8 describe what people were doing around Jesus when He was on the cross -- in the Psalm, numbered 22.
Verse 14 says "I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint."
A crucifixion victim dehydrates, and when they are lifted up and the large pole they have been [in the case of Jesus] nailed to, drops into the hole that supports the pole, the impact so jars the body that "bones out of joint" is a good description of what happens.
Verse 18 says "They divide my garments among them and cast lots for my clothing"...
Jesus had a special robe and the soldiers cast lots for who would get it, as He was being crucified!
I believe, because Jesus allowed this to happen to himself, the debt I would owe God for things I have done, or fail to do,,,
... that is, how I do not love God with all my heart or fail in so many ways to love my neighbor as myself, will be forgiven. That is why I feel so grateful to Him. Some of the last words of Jesus were "it is finished". The words he used was a common phrase, used in accounting of His day. Like stamping a bill, "paid in full". Jesus was saying PAID IN FULL. He paid my debt, one I could never pay, to God.
Then, I believe Jesus rose from the dead after 3 days of being dead. Because He is both human and infinite, I have constant contact with Him available to me. He knows exactly how I feel because He keeps His humanity forever. It is all very complex. But, I thought it was important for you to have a little understanding of what I believe He has done for me. That is an important part of the personal feelings I have for Him.
But, He interacts with me in all sorts of ways, continually. As long as I choose to be intimate with Him, He reveals more and more of Himself to me.
I could go through that Psalm 23, line by line, and it would be a good outline for how to explain what it is like to have a relationship with Him. And I like to point out, Psalm 22 -- that is, what Psalm 22 describes...That is what "bought" the experience of Psalm 23, which describes what I get to experience.
Jesus said He came to be crucified. He was fulfilling the centuries old system of blood sacrifices of the ancient Jewish religion. The Jewish religion completely changed after the death of Jesus. Their temple was no longer available to them to continue sacrificing animals as they had done before His death.
The temple had a part called the "Holy of Holies"...the pre-Jesus religion of Jews was all about that. It had this incredible thick curtain that separated it, and the High Priest...well, it is a long story. Anyway, when Jesus died, that curtain was torn from top to bottom. All the animals had been symbolic for the pure blood of the real "Passover Lamb" who was Jesus. Passover Lamb refers when the angel of death "passed over" and did not kill the first born of the Jews when they were in Egypt. Part of their complicated history. If they had smeared the blood of a lamb over their doors, no death came to that house that night. For all who did not have the blood covering the door, the angel of death entered and the first born of that house died.
Don't worry if it sounds confusing and repulsive. It is the biggest Gestalt picture, or paradym shift ever. You see it either has hideously ugly, or the most wonderful amazing thing ever. Like those pictures where you see two faces, or the goblet between. Or the pretty lady, or the old lady...in the same drawing, depending on how your brain interprets the image. The lines remain the same, but the way of seeing it completely changes.
That is plenty for one reply, huh? Don't hesitate to ask whatever questions that might come to mind after reading this. Or, don't feel an obligation to respond. Certainly not in any hurry.
Blessings to you, my friend. 
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You mention god as following you, I am not a very religious person, but I do understand this. There is this sense of protection, like I am wrapped in some unperceivable protective layer.
As a child when I was hurt physically or emotionally there was this sense of comfort, even when this comfort was amidst great pain. I often thought I was just a strong person, but there is this feeling that this strength is external, projected down onto me, or even from below me. My emphasis being that it is external, and out of my control. I can try to control it, but that is just an illusion I create to gain control of what I cannot understand. Like you said, βIt is like, even when I get caught up and ignore or forget Him, He never forgets me.β
What I really enjoy about the possibility of god is that I get to question, I might have mentioned this a few times over, but this is just show you how much these questions mean to me. I am made up of these answered and unanswered questions. My personality, my anger and happiness all come from my questions and how I have approached them.
College is going to be different, I alienate myself from the crowd, helps me think. I really am proud of myself; I have been given the power of self-indulgence(if this is the appropriate wording). I find people messy. There are exceptions, but they are hard to find. I spent a large portion of my life trying to please the people around me, I just become miserable. At that time i was incapable of even identifying the source of my misery, now my mind is clear. It feels so good.
Will keep writing
manush
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It was wonderful to see a nice long message from you today.
I'm answering here. I want to keep your note on my own page for now. College in one week. Wow. Enjoy gathering supplies, and then,,,using them.
I think your planned artistic endeavors are the best focus you could possibly choose.
I started a gathering of 3 people, including me. I wanted it to be small because we spend time praying in a variety of ways first, and share very deeply about our lives. Then we work on art. My most recent art submission includes in the artist comments, something from the other two, as well as my art piece that came out of our time last week. {the collage, "What's Inside"...
They are women closer to my age. We meet on Thursday afternoon, as long as childcare can be worked out. This will be the 4th gathering, today. I decided to call it "Taking Wings"...
I would be interested in what your understanding is now, and what your father's world/spiritual world view is. I will enjoy very much exploring this together with you. It has been the focus of my whole life, even when I was very little.
I look forward to seeing how it translates into your art. That was part of the reason for my little group "Taking Flight". I wanted to find others who realize, as artists, our talent is very much a part of worship, if we take that focus.
Music is usually still seen that way, where people gather with the intention to worship.
In past centuries spiritual experiences were very much the central theme of art. It still is, now, in a way. The condition of the whole world is reflected in the art we are creating. But I want to explore that personal thing I spoke of. Knowledge is part of it, but only one part.
A little example of what I currently do, that is more about the relationship --> Every night, I write in a special journal before I go to bed. I answer 3 questions about the day.
Did I see an example of a special provision from God? [of course, everything is from Him -- but this is watching for things that I know are special between me and Him. Where He is clearly visible to me as the source.]
Did I see an example of special timing that was what I call "God-incidences"...things we might remark, wow, that was a coincidence. These happen a lot in my life.
Did I see an answer to prayer?
That one covers things I have asked for, concerning my own life, or for others that I pray for. It is very interesting to track and see how things work out when they are being prayed for.
I also like to jot down any moments when I stopped and simply "fellowshipped" -- connected with Him. Maybe looking at a sky full of clouds and taking time to tell Him how incredibly beautiful it is. Then remain, watching the clouds forming and reforming art, right there in the sky -- which I have the amazing ability to see.
In such a moment, I might reflect on the whole process on earth, of how water moves around the planet and sustains us. How clouds play their part. The intricate nature and balance of this planet that sustains us. As I think about it, I am thanking Him, remembering Him, appreciating how amazing He is.
Your heart runs deep, as shown by your art. I am happy to have "stumbled across you" here in dA. Just imagine that, out of the what?...couple million people on this deviantart thing? And now, almost a year later, we haven't lost touch. Even though we haven't been writing frequently, we made a very strong connection from the beginning.
You are especially unique, just like your art.
I check my emails about once every 7 months or so now, which is to say, almost never, in case you've sent anything. I will get notes in here, and respond most quickly that way.
Wonderful to hear from you, my friend.
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thank you! glad you enjoy my works.
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Sorry I missed your 19th birthday. We've been out of touch. Came by just to say hello.
Duty calls. My air conditioning broke and must attend to that. Hope to visit again soon with more time to check out your work.
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Mel ! hey!
i am so sorry, i have had your message in my message box since jan 2nd. i have been thinking of replying, but then i would just get carried away.
life has been rather tense in the past few months, the need to work and earn a living is being imposed onto me. i spend the time thinking of how it would be to work rather that actually working.
just a few days ago i finished my college entrance test and portfolio review and interview, now i have about one and a half months before college starts. and that's only if i have managed to get a seat.
i am sorry again, i really love hearing from you. please tell me how things have been on your side.
manush
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Oh, manush, great to hear from you. I understand how busy life is, never feel bad if time gets away. Not to take friendship for granted, but, once someone is a good friend, that is still there, even if contact is not frequent.
I pray for your life to be a wonderful amazing adventure, and more.
My current journal tells much about the process I am in currently. I love the link, if you get time to visit it. It is a song on youtube with wonderful art illustrating it. What I wrote in this journal reveals things I might not have told you before.
Approaching 2 AM here. My eyes are in need of sleep. I went to a luncheon today with my mother. Officially, it is now Mother's Day here. May 9th. I am blessed to love my mother very much and still have her living close by. My Dad too.
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i did read your journal right after i had responded, and i followed the youtube link too. enjoyed it
what are your parents names? you really are lucky to have both your parents, touch wood.many friends i know have lost someone in the family.
i will keep visiting your gallery, and i hope to see lots and lots of work in the near future.
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Oh, wow. Sorry. You got buried under a pile of messages. Parents are Faye and Calvin.
I am fortunate to have them, they are still together, and I get along with them, no hassles. It was hard back in my twenties, for a lot of reasons. But they went from being religious Christians to really getting what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus. It really changed them. We all keep growing because of that.
It is funny. Did you know "touch wood" or here we say "knock on wood" was a superstition about the wood of the crucifix cross?
Well, many days may go by, but we became good friends, so you will always be one of the people I think of and want to keep track of. I have a tendency to get caught up in just whatever is the latest thing right in front of me. I believe we had conversations about that before, about not getting spread so thin.
But I am here, in a way, to take a rest from my art *career* attitude to my art. I've been running about 2 exhibits a month and keeping my stuff on sale in all sorts of places, trying to keep track of it all, and follow up on commission possibilities. I have enough going financially to be stable.
I'm in dA mostly to enjoy art as a hobby and try out new things. And I would say my true highest priority has been meeting the people and giving and getting feedback on art, and life in general. People are always the most important thing.
But you are in a place where you have many set goals to attain. You are beginning, and I am closer to retiring. Though the wonderful thing for an artist is that we never want to "retire".
A shift from time to time though, is refreshing, and will bring me back around to a stronger focus. There is a saying "unstring the bow" -- it goes back to the days when men hunted/went to war with archery. If they didn't unstring the bow, it would lose accuracy. Maybe you have heard of this?
I'm trying to catch up with all the messages that have come in. But it is on my list to get over there and take a look around. I think I set it up for your work to go to paintresseye, thinking that would help me keep closer tabs on my first good friends. That account got busy too, so it didn't work out.
I'll visit soon, when I have time to look and comment.
mel
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hey again Mel,
Faye is a beautiful name, what does it mean, any idea?
i truly understand the joy that comes from establishing and maintaining a relationship with family. i have been bouncing back and forth with this issue.
i was a little curious when you mentioned, "they went from being religious Christians to really getting what it meant to have a personal relationship with Jesus".
interestingly i had a similar conversation with my father on religion and spirituality. it was a long and insightful discussion. we talked about religion as a defined understanding of spirituality.
it would be nice to hear a bit from you about what you mean by establishing a personal relationship with god. also your understanding of religion and being religious Christians.
i am really interested in how we as human beings interpret/receive god. i hope to use this understanding to create my next set of works. or at least attain a certain awareness.
i would really enjoy it if we could discuss this in length.
2 exhibitions a month?! that's very strenuous, how do you manage,(don't worry, that was rhetorical, i know you are very capable and experience in these matters
Even the thought of one exhibition in the near future frightens the %$&*$ out of me.
how is your health, i hope you are keeping well.
my college starts in a week, in the process of readying myself. getting hold of art materials.
i hope to hear from you soon.
much love
Manush
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I love the style you use when making portraits! The one's of your father are especially interesting.
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thank you again !
its been a while since some one has commented on my art.
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HAPPY 19th B-DAY MANUSH!!!!
I hope you had a wonderful birthday and I wish you the best for your 19th year of life!
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now how did you remember !! i am flattered !!
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I remembered because I love you 
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