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monkeypire-555
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[14107515]
[2010-06-13 19:30:43 +0000 UTC]
"Farrah"
(United States)
# Statistics
Favourites: 268; Deviations: 15; Watchers: 5
Watching: 3; Pageviews: 4252; Comments Made: 684; Friends: 3
# Interests
Favorite visual artist: H.R. Giger, M.C. EscherFavorite movies: "The Crazies" It made me laugh
Favorite bands / musical artists: Dax Riggs :| Skinny Puppy
Favorite writers: Shakepeare, Poe, Nietzsche
Favorite games: Left For Dead 1&2 (we keep playing them over and over and over)
Favorite gaming platform: PS2
Tools of the Trade: pencil, paper, pain, fear, yearning
Other Interests: Music, writing my friend, loving my friend, loving my animals, drawing, music, writing, music
# About me
I couldn't sleep, I cried all the time for "no reason"? I had hallucinations from severe sleep deprivation. They gave me pills to help me sleep. To stop the paranoia. To stop the hallucinations. One of them? made me gain the weight back. . .and then some. . .and then a lot. Years later they figured out which pill. . .without it I couldn't sleep. To be fat but sleep. . .depressed and crying all the time. . ? or thin and hallucinating and being paranoid. . .I'd choose the later. Even many more years later. . .they say it's not depression (not clinically, anyway), it's Ed again. He sometimes hides behind depression. He almost killed me once. . .but I was happier near death than I've ever been when healthy. I've never come first in anyone's life. How can I come first in my own. I'd rather love a friend, love the animals, love the one who hurts me so. . .love anyone but who I see in the mirror. "It's not about the weight" they say. . .then why is that all I see? Why do I feel ashamed when I eat? Why do I feel so proud of myself when I'm hungry and I don't give in. . .It's not about the weight? Then why do I want to be skin and bone? Why is that what it will take to make me happy, to make me able to be loved? What is it all about? Does it really matter?Current Residence: PA (missing AZ)
Favourite genre of music: all except rap, opera, and spiritual or religiously orriented :s
Favourite style of art: drawings (charcoal or good ole #2)
Operating System: XP
MP3 player of choice: which ever one hasn't broken from over use
Wallpaper of choice: horror (but it changes every day cause there are so many to adore)
Skin of choice: epidermis ^.o may I borrow yours?
Favourite cartoon character: SNOOPY!!!!!!!!! Animaniacs:| (Wacko!)
Personal Quote: If you're not going to take things too far what's the point in starting on the journey?
# Comments
Comments: 62
I wonder where you've gone, and whether you're okay or not. And only hope that one day you can read this message again and remember that people do care.
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Personally I prefer fiction, I don't know when I read it's rather fun to imagine a different world where the impossible is everyday.
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I have read mostly fiction lately. But sometimes I pick up philosophy or theology because I find it all very fascinating. But, horror makes me the happiest. 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't really read any philosophy or theology.
Fantasy, I just like the idea of magic and mythical creatures, reading about different countries mthology is rather fun too. ^^
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I love the idea that magic is real. 
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Yes, I love that idea as well. ^^ It's interesting to see how so many authors can have such different ideas about how it all works. ^^
Really? Do you remember what it was called?
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"Gods and Heroes of Ancient Greece"
(went back and looked to find out) 
I have my own ideas on theology, I think we all do.
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Thank you, I'll have to go find a copy of it. ^^
Yes, everyone is different and interpret things as such. ^^
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I agree. Which is why there are so many branches of each and every religion. No one can agree on ever single point and when they find they disagree. . .the don't accept each other any more. sad really >.>
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Yes it is sad...
There are so many different religions that it's hard to keep all of them straight.
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well sweety, I'm off to read a book i promised a friend i would read
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Good night, it was fun to talk to you. ^^
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sorry it's how i say goodnight 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Ah ok, I was just a little confused. ^^
A llama badge is just a little something you can give to people, they don't actaully have a real purpose, but after you get enough it'll "upgrade" into a different llama. (Honestly I don't think anyone knows what they are.)
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thank you so much 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem. ^^
Good night and sweet dreams to you too. ^^
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can i ask what your major in college is? 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Graphic Design, but I'm thinking of changing it.
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i was going to try my hand at that in a school environment. . . ^.o find your passion and go with it. but make sure there is a market out there
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If you're interested in it and have the time and money, then there's no reason not to.
Yes, I'm just having some slight trouble finding not only something that I love to do, but can also make a living doing.
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exactly. i wanted to be an art teacher at one point. but not solely for the purpose of teaching art. i wanted to reach out and help kids who were like i was in school, not sure how to describe how i was 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
That's too bad, it's very nice that you want to help kids though. ^^
Was there a specific grade you wanted to teach?
I just hope it never gets to the point where I have to choose between doing something I love, or earning enough to live off of.
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i wanted to teach high school and middle school art. . .around here it all kind of meshes together. small town and all :s i grew up in a city where there were separate schools that were miles apart. so, here i could have reached out to more kids.
one thing i learned and have begun to teach my finace (at least i think he is catching on) is that having money does not mean happiness. i'm actually fortunate enough to be able to be happy at most any job so long as i can do it while not having to think about it too much. that way, i can think about things to write and draw. . .
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Really? How small of a town are we talking about?
Yes, I know very well that money doesn't equal happiness, but if you can't even afford the basics like food, then there may be a problem.
That sounds nice, it seems like you live a very happy life. ^^
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so small that there is only ONE count it ONE stop light 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i know you know money doesn't equal happiness
happiness is jason, my fur babies!!! (love them more than life), my friend from far away, and art
Only one? Wow, that's much smaller than I thought.
Happiness can be found when people lease expect it. ^^
Also it's good that there are so many things that make you happy. ^^
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what things make you happy?
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My family (even if we annoy eachother a lot), my friends, art, and nature. ^^
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your family makes you happy 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
nature is beautiful. . . but bugs
No problem with that. ^^
Some bugs are ok, like butterflies for example. ^^
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i adore preying mantis (praying? preying?) sooooooooo pretty 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
also spiders 
Those are pretty too. ^^
Also cicadas sound nice.
eek... Spiders are a bit of a weakness for me. My uncle use to have a pet taratuala, though it drove my grandma insane when he would come downstairs with it on his head. ^^
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my dogs are telling me it's time for bed 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
i've played with spiders and snakes since i was a kid back in AZ. our one teacher had them as pets and would bring them out for all of the kids to see.
well good night and i hope to talk to you tomorrow
Sounds like you had a cool teacher. ^^
Good night, I might be busy with a book report tomorow (I'm taking an online summer class) so if I'm unable to get on to talk, I apologize.
Sweet dreams. ^^
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good luck with the report
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Thank you. ^^
It's "Bad Girls Go Everywhere: The Life of Helen Gurley Brown" by Jennifer Scanlon.
It was one of the choices we were offered to choose from, also sorry it took so long to reply. 
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never heard of that book, was it any good? ^.o
no problem about taking a while to reply 
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Neither had I untill recently, it seemed interesting enough to me though.
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i only ever enjoyed doing book reports that my parents (mom) had to sign a note to the school saying it was okay for me to read the book 👍: 0 ⏩: 1
You had to get a note signed? That sounds rather dumb...
"Of Mice and Men" is good, when I first saw how short it was I was rather surprised though.
I've never heard of "Lords of Discipline" though.
Some books that were required at my school (that I enjoyed) were "And Then There Were None" and "The Giver".
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i think i picked "Of Mice and Men" because it was so short and ended up being surprised that it was so good but it made me so sad
"Lords of Discipline" is about peer pressure and hazing and such at a military school (i'm an air force brat) which was really good because it conveyed so much emotion (which surprised me because of the setting. . .emotion allowed in the military 
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I was the same way wiht "Of Mice and Men". It's hard to believe how much emotion can be cause by such a short book.
I'll have to see if the libary has it...
If I may ask; which of your parents was in the Air Force?
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My dad
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