purpletad In reply to hazels-archive [2020-04-07 22:56:00 +0000 UTC]

No problem! 
And thanks! I hope you're also doing well!!

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hazels-archive In reply to purpletad [2020-04-07 23:13:52 +0000 UTC]

<3

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purpletad In reply to NoireComicsStudio [2020-03-27 04:53:40 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome!!

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purpletad In reply to DelightfulDiamond7 [2019-11-12 02:53:05 +0000 UTC]

I don't know how you do that, but it is stunning. Thank you!

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purpletad In reply to JJJMadness [2019-11-12 02:52:42 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!! And all the cats are precious!!

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JJJMadness In reply to purpletad [2019-11-14 17:31:53 +0000 UTC]

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purpletad In reply to cheriibat [2019-11-12 02:52:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!!

That's nice, I hope you do too!

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2019-11-12 02:51:45 +0000 UTC]

I'm not really doing well, I am sorry for not talking in so long, I would give better updates but it's been harder and harder with college to get time on here recently. We'll talk soon, I miss our talks!

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2019-11-13 22:44:59 +0000 UTC]

I'm sorry to hear that, I hope things aren't too stressful for you :/ I'm not on here much myself anymore if I'm honest. Not enjoying DA as much as I used to, you know? 

I miss them too They were/are the best thing about coming on this site for me (I honestly don't know how long it's been since we've been talking (future me here, I got curious and I think its been like 4 years)

Anyway, it was good to hear from you. 
Talk to you soon If not, I really hope everything becomes easier for you. You know where I am if you want to talk

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2019-11-22 06:32:44 +0000 UTC]

Uh, it's been pretty highly stressful. I don't remember what I last mentioned to you since it's been so long but in June my mom lost her job (for something she didn't do and she has yet to get another job) and my friend committed suicide. Jump a bit, I dated someone for an extremely brief time and after I felt creeped out and left them, tons of fake accounts started harassing me and it has not been fun, one threatened me in a serious way so I need to get legal help at this point. This month, my dad's dad is starting to not do well and it was enough for my dad to break his silence with him of about 3 years to finally talk again, then another friend committed suicide, and my grandma just past and today I gave her eulogy at her funeral. (Oh and all college stress and it being close to finals). I hope you are doing well, and yeah, this site changed a lot and it's weird on here sometimes.

Wow, that's been a long time, I think one of my 2 longest online friendships so that's cool to think about. 

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2019-11-22 15:59:47 +0000 UTC]

I remember you saying something about your mums job. I can't really remember what it was but I know that you were worried about paying for your college/uni so you got a weekend job (was it at a cafe or something?)

I'm so sorry about your friends and grandma. Losing loved ones is so difficult. No matter who they are blood or not. Doing a Eulogy must have been difficult. I didn't do one for my Nanna's funeral but me and my sister did walk her coffin down to like the room of her funeral (I don't know if that made any sense)

I haven't been to uni but I do remember how stressful college was sometimes. Just remember to take plenty of breaks and have a few minutes to relax. I don't know how difficult that is but do try and not over work yourself.

As for me, I don't know the last thing I told you but I'm an Auntie now. My oldest sister has had a baby boy named Oliver Reid (the Reid is after my Nanna) he's four months now and adorable.
Last week was the anniversary of my Nanna's death. It was difficult because we have no where to go to leave flowers or even go to remember her because one of my uncles is being selfish and not letting her ashes go even though he wasn't even there much when she was alive.

Anyway, I also been to that London Harry Potter tour with a friend of mine which was amazing! I've always wanted to do it because I'm like Harry Potter obsessed. I'm also learning how to drive. Passed my theory first time (it was so easy though, it's basically common sense) hopefully I will do my actual driving test soon and get a car next year so I can finally get a new job.

But there is the down side to. Like my job...it's beginning to get me down. I'm feeling myself getting rather depressed and having negative thoughts. So I need to get out of there and change my life for the better. Like sometimes I'm jealous of my sister. Not in a horrible way. But like...she has a loving husband and a gorgeous little boy and sometimes I wonder why I don't have that. And I feel so damn awful about feeling that way because she fucking deserves that happiness.

I'm also still devastated over my Nanna's death and I still blame myself for it. It's the thought of the "what if" that's killing me. What if I did this different? What if I didn't do that? What if, what if over and over.

I guess all these bad things are getting me down. Like there is no escape. I don't know...

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2019-12-11 03:14:23 +0000 UTC]

I didn't get a second job, I did open my hours for my original job as I searched for a possible second one but didn't find one early enough to feel right applying and leaving. I got a job during the college semesters though and the second one that will also happen next semester as well as the one on breaks so sort of 3 jobs now. 

We had the services at the grave sight since she wouldn't have liked to have a big funeral. It was hard trying to talk about how wonderful she was without remembering she is gone and nearly crying. I believe I know what you are talking about.

Uni is intense but it's not too hard for me since I enjoy learning, it just was a lot for the time being. Now I only have one test left for the semester in the morning and it's an easy test so I think I'll be fine after I review one last time.

That's exciting! I don't remember if you did or not but that's still cool! Can the baby smile and giggle yet? I don't know the stages of babies growing well since I mostly fear damaging small children and wait until they are much older to interact. Your uncle shouldn't be selfish for something everyone is grieving. Sometimes I understand people struggle to handle feelings and aren't very helpful and become greedy but you shouldn't stop someone else from being able to grieve properly on anniversaries. 

That's awesome! I wish one day I'll be able to go to a place like that!! And you take a theory test before your driver's test? I think the US does the same concept but we call it permit test. I have a permit and hopefully, I will get a license eventually too. It's sometimes annoying to have to wait for someone else to drive or walk everywhere.

Yeah, those thoughts are valid when going through a hard time but it's hard to process them in a good way, and you are trying to so that is a great step. And someday you will also get those things or whatever is right for your life and you'll feel more content. It took me a while to get over my sister getting engaged and being happy with the same person for 5 years when I tried so hard and my tries have not worked out but I got there, and I am just thoroughly happy for them. 

And I get those thoughts, I feel horrible about losing my grandma and I blame myself a lot. The original cancer I knew of (not what it was but it was a mass growing on her skin) but didn't tell anyone because she didn't want me to and even though they got rid of it before a few years ago, it came back and that is what got her. If I told my mom sooner maybe she would still be here. I feel like I helped to kill my best friend and it not a good thought to have. 

And I really feel the same about everything getting me down all at once. It really sucks and I hope it gets better for the both of us. My friends made me start therapy at my college since it's free and they think it will help me and I'm not sure yet but I'm trying since working on it on my own wasn't working well either.

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2019-12-17 20:23:30 +0000 UTC]

Sorry, for the late reply, like I said I'm not on here a lot anymore and I'm very addicted to Planet Zoo lol

Wow, that's a lot of work. I remember having two jobs for just one month and it was exhausting! Can I ask what you are going to do in the jobs?

Tell me about it, I still can't believe that my nana isn't here anymore and it hurts whenever my sister talks about her last days. I don't know if it helps her to talk about it but to me...I don't really want to talk about that you know? I want to talk about happy stuff. It's extremely difficult to lose someone who was your best friend and who you loved so much. I think I was still a bit naive when my nanna died. Like I always thought she would be there you know? I knew what death was but having to experience that with a family member was awful. 

At least you're enjoying it and finding it easy, that's the most important thing

The little one can really smile and he's trying to laugh (he breathes in and not out lol) but he has just started to like griggle. He really seems to love me too and it brightens my day. He's always smiling and staring at me lol. A few days ago he actually wanted a cuddle from me which was adorable and heartwarming and just today I managed to get him to sleep when he kept refusing it in the car.
Yeah, I know, but hopefully next year all the mess will be sorted. 

Yeah, it's just like a normal test here, answer 50 reading questions and if you get 45 you pass. There are also videos you have to watch and click on the hazards. It was so easy.

At least I know I'm not the only one who had those thoughts. Things are getting more easier as I grow more in love with the little one and when he cries I'm like "nope! Where's mummy or nanay?" so I'm pretty good and right now I'll just stay with dogs lol.

I have the same thoughts. For me, I left my nana to go home with a heavy shopping trolley with a taxi driver I had a bad feeling about. I told my nana to ring my uncle that was living with her to help her with it once she got home. But, I should have known how stubborn she was. If I took some of the shopping home then maybe she wouldn't have fallen, she wouldn't have got stressed at the hopstical and had a mini heart attack or broke her hip and needed an operation. Even though the doctors said that she had like a blood clot in her legs which caused the heart attack and it could have happened at any time like if she was alone or something...But, it's something I'm not comfortable talking about.

 

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2019-12-19 03:27:38 +0000 UTC]

My job during breaks is fast food. The two during school is another food job and also working at an art gallery. 

Yeah, my grandma was my best friend and I knew I would lose her eventually but she always came through so I was sort of in denial that it would happen anytime soon. I lost 2 people to suicide this year and a lot of family members throughout my life have passed but I still wasn't prepared to lose her. And I get your sister's viewpoint and yours. Like I want to go to her house a lot even though it's empty and it hurts everytime but I need to know it really happened. Also, I don't want to talk about it because I don't want to say the words and get emotional about it.

Yeah, uni has been fun and exhausting. Like I got all As beside one class and that class is known to be set up to drive freshmen away so it's hard to do great but a B I can live with.

That sounds so adorable! I think that stage is the most adorable honestly of being a baby like they love the world and it makes things feel less terrible.

We only have like 20ish questions but they are kind of hard and very random, I passed mine by one question which was cool but also stressful.

I'm glad for you, I think the little one is really helping you out right now which is great. I have my cats right now so I sort of feel that. Probably not the same but after having my semester end in such a jarring way, having them here is really good for me.

I think our brains like to try and find a reason why we lost people and since we both were in ways connected to the loss of our grandmas it's easy to blame ourselves for it. Like I want to find someone to be mad at, because it's hard to process and feel, and being mad at me is very easy. And I get that, my mom was there when both of her parents passed and she doesn't want anyone to have to die alone. It's horrible to imagine that someone great in our lives could of not had support. I hope it starts feeling better for both of us.

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2019-12-23 21:28:26 +0000 UTC]

They sound cool, well the art one, I bet the fast food jobs can become busy.

I haven't even gone to my nana's house since she's died. Whoever said life was easy was lying...

A class to drive students away? That's a thing? I've never heard of that before. But at least you got B in a hard class

Yeah, that's true, my nephew sure does make things less terrible and cheers me up whenever he smiles at me. It's the cutest thing ever.

I think I had something simular to that once, I can't remember which class though lol I'm glad you passed ^_^ One question 

He really is, I can't really explain it. Having anything you love near you is a great feeling. My old dog got me threw college and my first year of work, so i know how you feel about your cats.

Bring on the next year and a new start is what I say.

Talking about next year, I hope you have a wonderful X-mas if you celebraite it and it's that time of year for you

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2019-12-25 23:44:28 +0000 UTC]

I actually kind of love fast food jobs, not long term but I like things being fast and constantly doing something.

Yeah, we have to go through her belongings since she was a part of a generation that didn't trust banks or storage places so important things are stored everywhere so we have had to go to her house a lot. And agreed, life is really hard but sometimes people and things can make it easier.

Yeah, essentially it's a tough art program, the first year they make everyone do the same things to push everyone and make sure that they are dedicated. I think about 5 or 6 people dropped out in the first month when we are a group of 50ish kids. If life events didn't happen around the finals I feel like I would have done better, but I couldn't really help it.

I think most small adorable things make the world feel better. Like either pets and little kids can almost always make someone feel better. When I was stressed in college I made a friend with someone who was allowed to bring a cat on campus and I just would walk over to her place for the cat.

I agree I hope the new year brings good things. I think a lot of people are ready for a more relaxed and less chaotic year.

Thank you, I do celebrate Christmas and I hope you have/had a wonderful Christmas as well

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2020-01-01 14:50:24 +0000 UTC]

I know what you mean, I love when my job gets busy and I have things to do. Plus, you can get experience from it too and in the food industry you can climb a ladder, like become something better than you are now like a manger if you'd like. That'd be great on your CV.

I guess it's easier for us to let someone else do it, you know? I don't want to go through her stuff or anything. I've got enough things of hers to feel and remember her pressence. 

I'm sure you did as best as you could during the harsh time you did. Plus, at least you stayed to try you best you know? 

Heh, I was always the one with the cute dog, everyone loved Keesha at my college. Not many people met her but the ones who did feel in love with her but I know what you mean. I think its stuff like that, that keeps me going sometimes.

Yeah, I'm hoping a lot of things will change for me this year but we'll see.

I did thank you ^_^

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2020-01-08 03:53:58 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I was told that during the summer I will be trained as a crew trainer officially so I am slowly progressing up while still in college which is cool. I also found out today that in the summer I will also be apprenticing at a tattoo shop so I'm excited about that. 

She kept so many things, she was in the era of the great depression and her generation hid things everywhere in their houses, we have to search through everything in case there are important papers, money, or other stuff that we don't want other people involved in it. Plus she was in debt so we technically can't take stuff until that is worked out, granted we have taken photos and things she said belonged to individual people but it's mostly reorganizing and searching at this point.

True, plus if you do everything they ask of you, you only have an average of a C unless you go above and beyond. I thankfully got a B but it was a hard battle to get to that, next semester I will work harder on it to get hopefully get in the As.

Yeah, sometimes when I get stressed I ask friends to send photos of pets, even if I never get to meet them in person, it's sometimes really nice to still have cute pets to look at.

Honestly, I hope the year changes in the right direction for you. I hope things start to be better this year for me as well. 

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2020-01-11 17:47:44 +0000 UTC]

That's very cool, just think of all that experience like I said. Just be careful not to push yourself too hard though  

My nana kept many things too but like I said that's for my uncle to sort out.

A B is still good though isn't it? Like two grades below an A? I don't know much about the grade system lol. (I was the dumb kid in the class ) Just do what you can, don't push yourself. 

I can send you a photo of Jasmine if you'd like sometime. 

Me too <3

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2020-01-21 01:54:04 +0000 UTC]

I don't really think I'll ever be able to push myself too much. I enjoy working a lot so it's exciting for me honestly. 

A B is good, but I got all As besides that and I put 10times more effort into the class I got a B in so I just am a little annoyed how it's decided. I just want to have my hard work reflected in my grade so I'm going to try harder and hopefully it will work out for me. 

I support sending pet photos, pets are wonderful. I just went back to college yesterday so I am missing my pets again. How is yours doing? Honestly, I have considered sneaking my fur babies into the dorm and letting them chill here for a while.

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2020-01-25 20:46:44 +0000 UTC]

Well, that's good I hope you keep enjoying it 

Yeah, that would be annoying to me too. So, are all your classes graded separately than to make one final score or is it different? I remember at my college you had to get a merit in like four classes to achieve a merit grade (If that makes sense)
but the grading system has always been funny about certain things. All you can do is try your best. 

Jasmine is fine, full of energy like always and hasn't slowed down yet lol. This is a perfect timed picture of her. I took it when she was in a middle of a yawn so it looks like she is laughing:

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purpletad In reply to FrowerssX2 [2020-03-11 01:32:43 +0000 UTC]

Hello! Sorry for disappearing for a while again, the first half of the semester back to college was stressful and I forgot to ever come on here. How are things going for you as of late? Anything new happening?

And yeah, the classes are graded separately and then combined to make a final GPA or score. 

I love that picture!!! I'm glad she is doing well, she seems like such a sweet dog!! 

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FrowerssX2 In reply to purpletad [2020-03-19 14:20:29 +0000 UTC]

Hello! I disappeared too lol I'm never on this site anymore.

Hope college isn't to stressful for you and your doing okay with this virus going around.

Anyway, I can't remember the last thing I told you but I've passed my driving test first time with only one minor fault. I now have a lovely green car which is perfect for me so, everything's good. Well, apart from the obvious but we are trying not to stress to much about this virus.

That grading system sounds similar to the one I had at college.

She's a pain mostly lol

Anyway, how things with you? X

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purpletad In reply to Lawstbets [2018-12-09 16:25:34 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome! (and sorry for the late reply!)

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purpletad In reply to JJJMadness [2018-11-14 04:18:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much   

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JJJMadness In reply to purpletad [2018-11-14 17:03:57 +0000 UTC]

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purpletad In reply to DelightfulDiamond7 [2018-11-14 04:17:21 +0000 UTC]

Thanks!!

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purpletad In reply to Ruitherga [2018-11-14 04:17:03 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!   

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Ruitherga In reply to purpletad [2018-11-15 02:41:19 +0000 UTC]

you're welcome!

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purpletad In reply to captain-ciella [2018-10-24 16:33:49 +0000 UTC]

You're welcome

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