sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-10-02 20:52:07 +0000 UTC]

HEY THANKS!!! I miss you, lets catch up soon!!

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-10-02 21:13:01 +0000 UTC]

hehe woah I left that in August, but yes...we can catch up if you want.  Hmm, do you have an Ask.fm? (bit like the new Formspring) ask.fm/CuddlyCreature

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-10-02 23:49:06 +0000 UTC]

Yeah dA mobile is a joke on my phone, so i don't get on much, i only recently got a working computer sooooo. yeah. I'll go make one! why the fuck not, eh? hahaha

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-10-03 00:00:43 +0000 UTC]

I haven't even seen what dA looks like on a mobile....can't act as bad as Tumblr mobile does!
heheh ok

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-10-03 00:17:26 +0000 UTC]

i <3 tumblr mobile. shut your mouth hahahaha

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-10-03 00:27:49 +0000 UTC]

it's slooower than Tumblr...er...normal.  Tumblr Notmobile, lol

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-14 18:06:07 +0000 UTC]

HEY!! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY TO YOU! Sorry I've been so AWOL. The few times I've gotten on in the last 6 months I've tried to respond to your birthday note, but dA hasn't been letting me for some reason. GAH. I hope that you are well, and that things over in jolly ol' England are peachy! <3

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-02-14 19:14:48 +0000 UTC]

dA's been obstructing to you? well now that's not nice of it! I hope it isn't messing you around anymore.

How goes the life? Got love or significant others, or just living the singley life?  

England's very stormy! But the day is peachy. How's Oregon?

<3

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-17 05:01:25 +0000 UTC]

I figured it out haha

I'm engaged and living with my fiance, my best guy friend/ex(not Devin), and Thomas(fiance)'s best friend. (: I'm getting so tired of how many people are around lately though. I started smoking marijuana medicinally, because I had a miscarriage i december and have been having a really really hard time emotionally, and my body is in so much pain from the stress.

Oregon is tempermental as ever. We have had two insane(for us) snow storms here in the last 4 months, plus a super freeze, and then rain and sun and confusion mixed together in the interim.

how are you?

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-02-17 22:29:32 +0000 UTC]

tired of how many people are living with you, d'you mean? yeah it's nice to have a bit of solitude sometimes when you're at home.
You were gonna have a baby? What does marijuana do medicinally for someone?

Oh I thought west coast was okay! East seemed to have big snowstorms, and here in england we were battered by almost hurricane winds which is so unusual for Winter. No ice!

I'm surviving day by day. It's difficult, I'm not where I wanna be at home (it's kind of a broken home) but I can't try and move out until June, and even then only for a year unless I can find a new job! Life likes to be hard.

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-21 01:57:30 +0000 UTC]

We just moved from a one bedroom apartment housing 3 people, to a 3 bedroom house with 4/5 tenants, all friends. There are always visitors and it's fun, but it's overwhelming and a little exhausting.

Yeah, I found out I was pregnant the day before thanksgiving, and had just finally come to terms with the fact that we're becoming a family when I started bleeding. I went to the hospital twice in one day, and didn't actually lose the baby until the day after christmas, 10 days later. So I'm dealing with that, it's really rough.

For me, it calms me down. I'm a total basketcase since the miscarriage, and everything was difficult and stressful and impossible. I don't want to go on xanax and become a zombie, that would be horrid for me and for everyone in my life. I've NEVER been a fan of weed, I HATED it for years and years, but I was absolutely desperate for relief.. It works for the most part, but I definitely am a little overwhelmed by how fast it sucks you in.

Snow is overrated. I'm totally good with my snow hope for like 5 years. Both snowstorms were over a foot, which I experienced only 2x in the first 20 years of my life...then the last two years we've had insane weather.

I'm really sorry that your home situation is so difficult. I don't really know what to say, otherwise /=

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-02-21 19:58:48 +0000 UTC]

3 people in 1 bedroom? presumably they all slept there? That sounds crowded. I'm used to houses where everyone (except partners) tends to be in their own room!

Oh, that must be hard for you I guess if you were planning for kids. Must be a pain to re-plan your life and stuff. Personally I never want to have kids but I guess that's just my thing.  I don't really take drugs for depression (or pleasure) either, I'm pretty much straightedge(teetotal?) and childfree.

Snow is good for like the first 2 days (makes everything look different which is a fresh shake-up to mundanity) but after that the novelty wears off and you just remember how it's such an obstacle to life. Stops all the trains running, freezes everybody - I guess if I had a partner, then cold times would be lovely because if there's plentiful hugs&cuddles you can warm up whenever you want and stuff, but mainly I love me some sunshine and warmth! Green grass you can sit out on and stuff

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-24 01:25:14 +0000 UTC]

Sunshine is my thing. I'm a summer baby, through and through.

We weren't planning on kids now, and as of two days ago, we don't have to worry about it until we're ready(YAY LONG TERM BIRTH CONTROL). We are planning on children, just not yet, but we'd just gotten to the excitement and planning and namestorming part when all this happened. It's especially hard when you bleed without cramps for 24 hours, go to the ER just to make sure the baby is okay because you aren't even concerned about yourself at all, see a heartbeat and get told the baby is two weeks younger than you thought and the heartbeat is about 45 bpm slower than it should be, but it's probably because it JUST started beating, hormone levels are perfect, so you get your hopes up that it's fine. You go home and keep your feet up like the doctor said, and wake up at 12 gushing blood and cramping so hard you can't breathe, go back to the ER to have them invade you and poke you and prod you not giving a shit how much what they do hurts, then they tell you that after that, the baby is definitely gone and to just wait for it to pass. It took me two weeks from there, till the day after Christmas to finally pass the baby. I almost had to have surgery(it was scheduled for the next day), and around January 7 my hormones were at 0 and I was back to just being me. I'm not really doing well at all, I'm just good at pretending for the sake of the people in my life. I already lost two friends over it, and I can't stand to lose anyone else. When I got the IUD(birth control), I was like, 'okay, three years isn't too bad, and I can take it out whenever if we decide we ARE ready. Let's do this.' but now I feel trapped in a cage. I don't really know how to describe it any more than that. I just feel cut off from the life I was supposed to have. That may be dumb, I don't know..

It was a one bedroom apartment and the guy who originally lived there offered us a place to stay while we transitioned and saved money to all move into a house together. He slept on a couch for two months. He let us move in because I was pregnant and we were living in a really crap situation, and the people we lived with didn't respect my pregnancy or the way I felt at the time about pot. We've moved out of that apartment now and are in a 3 bedroom house that is absolutely WONDERFUL. We have a HUGE backyard(with patio, basketball court and a concrete slab for a shed as well as permission to graden, a a nice small enclosed front yard, space for our cats and for Thomas to work on his bikes. We had three requirements for the place we moved to: Thomas needed a garage to store and work on his bikes, our friend NEEDED the house to have a dishwasher, because the apartment didn't have one and it was awful, and I needed the house to be centrally located, just to make things easier on everyone. So it's amazing.

I just wrote you a novel, sheesh...have fun with that xP

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-02-25 00:05:41 +0000 UTC]

Yeh you had some pics chilling on the grass in what looked to be Summertime! That's my kind of setting, too.

That sounds pretty harsh, 'spesh the heartbeat one day, and then the cramping/loss the day after. Kinda sad to have got your hopes up like that (not that they would have known 'til it happened I guess) but yeah.  Still I'm sorta disconnected from the whole children thing but I can see how that would have been a harsh experience to have thrown at you.

How come you lost 2 friends over it? Were they too into the idea of you having a kid or something? Seems an odd thing to make friends reject you for, you'd imagine if they were friends they'd be more supportive. But I don't know the details...

Sooo, you planning on trying again? Or does all this mean it's a big no~no because history could repeat itself?

Apartment shizzly: I can't wait to move. I'm in a dumb position of working for my family £400 a month (which isn't much at all here) and it's taken me years to save, just to have enough for 1 year living away for family (in a Big City, hopefully where work is).
I'm just worried that if I don't find a job during that Away-Year then I'll be stuck back to square 1. (Jobs are hard to get around here, not many in existence!)  ....but yeah I am envious of your cool-sounding flat   Need me a little something similar, and maybe 2nd half of this year I will!  *crosses fingers*

...you have a basketball court? hehe neat. Does sound big-ish! You have cats? cool. I have a cat. Rather hope she aint mistreated by the unruly members of my family when I depart...hopefully not!

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-28 21:20:50 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, I'm really a wreck.. I got xanax to help me sleep, on top of the weed, because weed by itself isn't enough, sadly. It was really hard to accept that I was losing my baby, then have them be like "OH MAYBE NOT" and then for it to be confirmed that it was gone...the first ultrasound when they couldn't find it was probably the hardest part for me, especially when I realized that I hadn't passed it yet, it just in dying, because it was still so tiny, was near impossible to find.

The girlfriends thing, one of them didn't approve of me keeping it and thought I would ruin my life and end up a "single, welfare mom" so she told me she wouldn't support me in my having a child, but came to me a week later and asked how I was and said that she had done some thinking and was wrong and felt terrible about it. Then when I miscarried I was talking to her and told her that a few people had been telling me that I was making it too big and stuff and she told me that she agreed with them, and felt that I was being overdramatic, that it wasn't even a baby yet etc etc. Well I didn't talk to her for a few days, then decided that deleting and blocking her on facebook while I worked things out and so we could have some space was the best idea, but I didn't get the chance to talk to her before she saw it so she got pissed and was like "wow super classy" and I told her that I wanted to talk it out to work it out, I just needed some time if she was really willing to try to be there for me. She said she was totally done, and I told her that I honestly hadn't expected her to be a good friend in the end, because I'd seen her with other people but had convinced myself she wouldn't do that to me, and that after everything, our trust was pretty much entirely destroyed anyway.

The OTHER friend is a girl who I know through mutual friends, but I also work with her, she and I got really really close, and she was like the third person I told about the baby. She was so excited, she'd sit with me at work and read my baby book that the clinic gave me, plan silly nicknames and make sure I ate every day and drank lots of water. She was there the day I told my work I needed time off because I was miscarrying, and then after that was at my place almost every day trying to help me feel better and get through it. I think it was in between christmas and new years, she was over at my place and got REALLY REALLY drunk, and we had a heart to heart and I told her just how badly I was doing, and then she walked to the bar with my roommate and told him that she felt overwhelmed by all of the shit we were putting on her(we never ever put anything on her without her first giving us the go ahead, she went to dr appts, and shit like that with me when thomas couldn't. she never once told me that she felt this way), then had a complete meltdown at my house whilst puking her guts out and yelling that she needed to go home RIGHT THEN and needed to skate drunkenly, by herself all the way across town but we wouldn't let her, and she has barely said a word or looked at me since. She told me all through our waste of a time friendship that I was her best friend and that no one was as nice to her as me, but then when she FINALLY broke her silence for all of two text messages, she told me that I was trying to replace her other best friend and that she can't trust or be friends with people she barely knows. etc etc. so yeah, now we aren't friends.


The baby was a surprise. I just got birth control that lasts for 3 years, but I can take it out whenever we decide that we're ready. I want to try again, I want a redo as soon as possible, but Thomas is only 19(he'll be 20 in august), and wants to wait at least a year, which I totally understand. We both want to be in a more child friendly situation, where we actually make enough money to support it and keep it healthy and happy. We're getting married early in 2016, and I think he wants to wait a while after that, but we'll see. We're also talking about moving to Portland(closest big city) in a year or so, so that would mean another little wait, because we'd have to get settled and comfortable there before having a baby. I don't want to be brand new somewhere either largely pregnant or with a newborn.

400 pounds comes out to what...? $670ish? that's more than I'm making in a month right now. I don't know how the cost of living is there, comparative to wages, but it's relatively easy to get a room in a house here for $200-500..

The basketball in the back is just a concrete slab and a basketball hoop, but we're gonna put a grader in back there as well and have bbq's and such all summer. PARTAY

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-03-04 20:00:06 +0000 UTC]

They couldn't find it? That's strange...is that how they first know, it sort of just...disappears?  I'm wondering if you can even think of it as a human or even a baby at that stage. If it's not developed enough, then ...I don't know, I'd probably get into that whole sticky prolife/prochoice debate here, but yeah.

That sounds a bit of a complex thing with your 2 friends.

 I think the thing with the first one is probably that whole 'unfriending/blocking on Facebook' thing. See many people see a deletion from an internet page as the same thing as deletion from life/friendship. I know it's probably not in reality but I think a lot of people are still confused and can't detach themself from social networking enough to know that it can't represent the reality of a relationship between friends. They just think 'oh it's the same thing', so if you block someone it's a shame but it usually turns out that they won't have you back.  I've had that happen, even after assuring a friend that the internet isn't tied to what we are.

Second friend, I don't know, seems like alcohol got in the way? Or she couldn't take the pressure of helping out?

That's a young chap!  How old are you again? (I'm sorry to say I don't remember! But I feel like maybe you're older than him? Not that it's important at all....age-ranges are cool by me)

I guess I'm just a stranger to kids & marriage, neither of those things feature in my life in any way   but it's interesting to hear about, certainly with miscarriages, I'm not sure what people go through.

haha I'm unsure! It's rare that I ever have to convert pounds into dollars for anything...I'll do it now. £400 isss... oh wow, sign of the devil. $666!   You're close!  Really? you don't make that much?  that's a shame, 'cos I'm a really low earner atm. So I guess we both are....just a shame that our apartments skyrocket in price here!  (I figured I will have to pay £600 per month for a flat in Bath(city) which is...$1000 per month if it were you. I can only just make it for a year, then I'm bust!)  - you're lucky with those house/flat rental prices, especially with multi-rooms! Very nice.

Yey for barbeques!

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-03-05 04:41:57 +0000 UTC]

Well, that early, the yolk sac is the main thing you can see, So when it died, I think that collapsed and it left the gestational sac(the black space the baby is in) looking empty, or close to it. As someone who has been it that situation I definitely considered it a baby as soon as I knew about it, even though it's heart wasn't even beating yet.

You're right, I never got the chance to explain it is what bothered me, I was shocked that she even noticed, because she used to just blow me off and not pay any attention to me at all. The other girl definitely couldn't do it, and the alcohol probably didn't help.

I'm 22, we're like 2 and a half weeks shy of 3 years apart.

Ugh. A grand for a small apartment seems SO ridiculous to me. We can get 2 bedroom apartment for less than 800, but then add utilities and I guess it's pretty much 1000 or so total.. But then again, I live in a college town, not a tourist destination or City..

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Destro7000 In reply to sophieoh [2014-03-10 21:28:42 +0000 UTC]

Oh right, yeah it must have been horrible just to see, like, a void there.

Yeah, sucks with some people that they hardly pay attention to you until you block/unfriend then suddenly are like "HEY I thought we were besties" and it feels so far from the right reaction, since they weren't that present when things are normal.

Ah that's not much of a gap at all really   Yeah I try to explain to people that age-gaps aren't a big issue if both parties are legal age/love each other, but some peeps are so prissy and will *ONLY* date others who are almost exact same age as them, or 1 year out. So dumb.

An american grand maybe hehe, but not quite a grand for us! but yeah if you've got flats cheaper over there I am WAY envious of that and I wish it was so here. Gimme! Gonna be haemmorhaging(sp?) cash next year on this flat thing :s

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2014-02-14 18:06:51 +0000 UTC]

<3

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sophieoh In reply to Destro7000 [2013-03-29 05:52:29 +0000 UTC]

hey buddy, how are ya?

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xXFyre-SongXx In reply to xXFyre-SongXx [2012-10-20 09:44:23 +0000 UTC]

and for the watch <3 <3 <3 XD

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sophieoh In reply to Istebrak [2012-09-26 08:26:19 +0000 UTC]

i couldn't help it, you're just so insanely talented <3

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sophieoh In reply to abcartattack [2012-09-09 08:30:13 +0000 UTC]

I can't help that you're RIDICULOUSLY talented and AWESOME!! have a great day!

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abcartattack In reply to sophieoh [2012-09-10 01:41:53 +0000 UTC]

I did have a great day today, thanks

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abcartattack In reply to abcartattack [2012-09-10 04:35:29 +0000 UTC]

I won jurors choice and the prize money at the art fair I did this weekend, so yeah, sweet!

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sophieoh In reply to abcartattack [2012-09-10 02:19:35 +0000 UTC]

glad to hear it

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abcartattack In reply to sophieoh [2012-09-10 04:44:42 +0000 UTC]

I won jurors choice and the prize money at the art fair I did this weekend, so yeah, sweet!

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sophieoh In reply to abcartattack [2012-09-11 06:26:57 +0000 UTC]

WOO! Congrats!!

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