Dark-Angel167 [2014-07-31 12:14:11 +0000 UTC]
You did all you can, Nathan > You did all you could, Nathangreeted by a dark mass of bogy wasteland, made darker by the canopy of leaves that hung over the dark trucks of the trees that feed them > greeted by a misty mass of boggy wasteland, made gloomier by the canopy of leaves that hung over the dark trunks of the trees that feed them ( You said dark three times in the same sentence, for me that's too much )herd the single > heard the singleThump. Thump. Thump. THUMP > If this isn't in italics in the document, I would recommend itNathan suck his arm out in an attempt > Nathan stuck his arm out in an attempt that you didn’t even know you’d made > that you didn’t even know you’d hadwhere he was pinned down > where he had been pinned downdue to wear Nathan’s injuries > due to where Nathan’s injuriesusing the wall to balance him > using the wall to balance himselfletter would have sufficed > This may just be me... But this just seems a little too formal for a Nate of this age ***Jeez Nate I know you were naive but you're even worse at this age.
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115Umbron In reply to Dark-Angel167 [2014-08-02 19:44:02 +0000 UTC]
Edited it in the stream bu you seemed to have added a line in... ***How is he naive?
Dark-Angel167 In reply to 115Umbron [2014-08-02 20:23:57 +0000 UTC]
....*** He's blindly accepting what Oasis is asking of him
115Umbron In reply to Dark-Angel167 [2014-08-02 22:06:31 +0000 UTC]
The one about him putting his hand out***well he don't know. He's only 16.
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