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Swatting Flies
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Published: 2005-06-07 06:55:36 +0000 UTC; Views: 4402; Favourites: 107; Downloads: 1415
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Description
& you said, at the droning beesas steady as modern machines &
office equipement
like an erection their spiked stingers
hanging out, harpoons on the half
that isn't knotted in fuzz & guts
as complex as an irish love knot or radio waves
around a star, as cute as a little boy
killing his first sparrow with a Daisy
made in China, you said that you loved bees
the stigmata they left in your skin, their stingers
attached to their bits - here a pancreas,
there a small intestine if bees need such a thing
to make honey
the ultimate voyeurism,you said, heavy breathing, a bee death on your skin
which dead already
will flake off to become ninety
percent of all your household dust
and you are sorry the next morning
when, incensed, you crush a bug
and the thunder machine starts its heartless roll
as breathless you reel back from - the shit, the golden world inside
foreign as an alien with black blood
or the tongue of god, holding you like a thermometer
to test his warmth.
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Comments: 195
reading it's like, jaw dropping, dropping-dropping dropped, into god's bowl of soup...
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I haven't found anything in the poetry section lately that has made me want to Fave anything. Until now. Thank you for this great bouquet of words. I'm impressed with the variety of expression and imagery, both telling and descriptive. It comes alive in my mind as I read. And I shall read it again now. Take care,
Mai
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this is astounding.
wading through mediocrity
i found this.
this is meant for spoken word.
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I've never done spoken word but I do read poetry aloud... my poetry, random poetry, and it's pretty
so thank you.
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Really great wordplay! You just grabbed the wheel of my imagination and took it for a fast paced brain tease on a wet mountain road!
WAKE UP!
Thanks, I needed that!
This would do well as SLAM me thinks
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Thank you so much!
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I can't make heads or tails of any of that, but I'm faving it anyway!
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wow- that was either really metaphysical, or just... literate.
not bad- captured my imagination.
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Really metaphysical and... literate, I guess! Thanks!
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very good writing! your imagery, metaphors, wordplay are all top notch! gotta fav this, a better example of fine writing I have not seen in a long time on deviant art!
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if anyone succeeded in writing about something extraordinary while still mundane, if ever people understood what poetry really meant you would be our pioneer. i think i love you.
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It's people like you that'll one day make an honest woman of me.
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I caught on really quickly to the bee an its internal organs imagery because I saw a documentary or something the other day that had footage of a bee pulling at the stinger and basically disembowling itself. And the "golden word inside" echoing the innards of the bee, filled with honey? Bubbling. You're masterful with your themes, and your choice of metaphors is clever. Yay, very well-deserved feature.
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wow great job congrats on the daily devation!
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Thank you, and thank you for helping me figure out what the hell is going on.
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np glad to be of service
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I'm back again just to commiserate with you for all the misplaced comments.
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Much appreciated, sweetie!
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I always kind of thought that a truly good poet could take the grotesque and make it beautiful
Well done.
I 
*sticks a 
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I really like this poem, it's a pity you had to remove the preview.. but I can see why you did.
You use very interesting imagery, great concept. How love how easily each line flows into the next.
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Thank you for your thoughtful comment!
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El Chavo Del Ocho!
haha
good stuff, good for you for the DD!
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Fuck.. wait.
That's el chapulin Colorado! grr
oh well is play by the same guy!
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Because I believe that poems are perfect representations of one's soul in the state it is in when the poem was written, I must respectfully dissagree with your critics. They have their tastes, as do I, but when it comes to poetry, you leave it alone. I'm happy with how well you took their critisism, though. Don't feel pressured to bend to what every critic says. Unless he/she is a critic critic, like me.
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Although I'm of the critique school, I appreciate your input, and thank you!
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Bahaha! Oh shit.
I too love critiques, but somtimes I wonder if we should just.. Let things be.
Oh well.
Take it easy.
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Excellent poem. Directly to my favourites.
Good selection of picture. El ChapulΓn Colorado is one of my favourite Mexican heroes.
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CHAPULIN!!!
I loved that guy when I was a kid!
SWEEEEEEEEEET!
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the poem is really good. i enjoyed reading it.
i was wondering though. where did you get the preview picture? 
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Google image search, it's property of a man in spandex.
Thank you for the commentary on the poem.
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Solo hay comentarios de la foto... its a shame the picture got you the DD but didnt let people see the poem. The poem is very good ya know. I hope people stop making comments about chapulin.
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Chapulin colorado!! I ADORE the artistry in this poem. WOW!
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the guy isn't a bee! is a "red grasshopper".
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And that goes just about... four inches above your head?
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zOMG el chapulin colorado!!!!
no contaba con tu astucia
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que chingaos tiene que ver Chespirito con el poema???
sabe a caso quien es? lo encontro en algun buscador? cree que es una imagen aislada?
sabe de los derechos de autor? Roberto GΓ³mez BolaΓ±os puede demandarlo!!
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No, this is an original work of mine. I didn't steal it, you're welcome to contest that if you'd like.
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I know, the poem is original and awesome,but the first picture didnt let people see the poem. And is the picture the first that you see in the Daily Deviation.
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Ahah. Well. Weird.
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