voltball [2003-05-31 03:51:36 +0000 UTC]
i think the language is good and the rythm very good.
i sort of understand the previous comment, but i'd say it's not the rythm that is forced, but the story that is forced into the frameworks of the rythm.
so while it is very rythmic and in good language, the story sort of end up in the background.
still, the story is there. it may require two readings to be able to see it play out, though.
.volt
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