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AkaiTaiyo — Do you remember I love sunflow
Published: 2010-05-29 19:55:40 +0000 UTC; Views: 977; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 5
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Description
Do you rememer I love sunflowers?Laying late in my bed
And waking up to your kisses
Do you remember I like staying up late
And thinking how it would be being in your arms
Feeling your skin under tips of my fingers
And smell of your hair when you come close
Even now I stand up alone
Imagining how it would be
How it would feel
Taste
And sound
I wonder does it echo
When I would feel it
Or maybe it just fades away
Is it intense
Or just plain painfull
Wonder is it warm
Or does it feel like a cold water
Is it sweet?
I want to wait
I want to sense
Finally and fully
Utterly and completely
Your regret
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Comments: 29
This is very well-written, but starting at, "I wonder does it echo," the lack of punctuation seems very stark. In the previous part of the poem, it flowed very well, but after that line the flow is a bit jumpy and snags every other line.
The last line, simple as it is, and without the period, kind of serves as a slap in the face to the reader- i like it. It really brings out the hurt in both the speaker and the spoken-too.
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Oh wow I am sorry it took me this long to reply, I kind of neglected my account here.
Thank you very much for your feedback, and reading it back it seems to me now you got a point there.
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so sweet and delicately written,
try and live without regrets though, what is done is done, it's time to start a new day
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Thank you for comment and for the advice as well, I will try
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no problem!! life isn't worth living if you are scared to try new things
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They're not my favorite flowers, but the poem itself is very amazing.
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Thank you. 
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Everything we care about holds some sort of significance for us. I have memories of a friend attached to them. It's amazing how tall they can get!
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Wow, what a Powerfull Poem, I dont find too many of them on DA, or any where. (But i could be looking in the wrong places) Still, I like your style and ability to convay a emotion from your reader.
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Thank you so much for such a great comment.
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absolutely beautiful. is this written after a breakup and because you are missing someone and afraid to forget what that feels like?
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Thank you for the comment, and yes you're right it's after breakup.
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that is me right now, my bf broke up with me exactly a week ago from now. 
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im sorry... it's not a good feeling at all
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This is amazing. I do love sunflowers too and the emotions seem familiar. Great work!
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This is impressive! I love how sensitive, heartwarming and sweet it it.
It's painful how much the first part reminds me of someone. It's not a bad thing, just very intense. Beautifully written!
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Thank you so much for this beautiful comment.
Really appreciate it.
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You are most welcome! ~
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