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Description
Warnings: Profanities, angst, sexual implications

Promises

You remembered the first time he came to you.

He was broken.

He was in the state in which he was drowning in his own grief, and before you knew it the adamant man you once knew and loved was but a troubled soul. That was when he'd just lost Michimiya Yui.

That night, you promised him the world - that you would make it all better. You thought that, somehow, with your feelings for him, you could wipe away his suffering. Of all the promises you made that night, there was but one you made to yourself:

Someday, you would make him love you back. You had no care about the fact that he harbored no romantic feelings for you in that moment. You could just make him fall for you in time. That was what you truly believed.

Needless to say, you couldn't quite fulfill that promise. He never did look at you the way he looked at her, even as your relationship ((if you could even call it that)) pushed to its third year.

You weren't stupid, and you weren't blind.

Sure, if another person were to look at the both of you, they'd assume that you were just another happy couple. But more than anyone, you knew that was far from the truth. You could tell, because it was the little things that spoke the loudest - the little things that no outsider could do as much as make out. Mostly, it was the way he woke up next to you.

You did, however, love watching him him sleep. That was the only time, it seemed, that he'd smile with veracity.

That morning, you laid still next to him as if any movement could wake him. Just like that, you watched how the breadth of sunlight danced across the contours of his face. Ever so slightly, his lips curve into smile every once in a while. It took every bit of you not peck his lips right then and there.

However, moments later, he shifted in his sleep. Surely enough, his eyes soon cracked open, and there it was:

The disappointment.

In spite of the smile on his face, you could clearly see the sheet of discontent that was situated across chocolate-hue of his eyes all because you weren't her. You smiled back, albeit short-lived. After all, you still hadn't quite come around to forgetting what had happened last night.

Yesterday had been your anniversary, and during your special night, he called her name. Although you were aware that it was probably because he'd drunk quite a bit of wine that evening, it still didn't change the fact that he was still thinking of her even then. You knew that he'd always pictured her each time deep down in your mind, though. You just didn't expect to hear the proof from his own lips.

It was barely audible, but the both of you knew that the other had heard. Needless to say, he apologized profusely. But in that moment, all that ran through your mind was just how unbelievably tired you were.

"Hi," he whispered upon taking full hold of his consciousness, despite the trace of sopor from his voice.

"Hi." You knew what was coming next but you were having none of it.

"About last night, I-"

"Don't," you gave him yet another one of your millisecond smiles. "I'll get over it."

You lied. Just like each moment he murmured her name in his sleep, you'd just bury last night deep beneath your conscious mind. You had to. Else, you'd fall apart, and he would soon follow. You couldn't have that, could you?

"I want to make it up to you," he began with the same softness he used as he spoke around you. "How does dinner sound?"

God knew you wanted nothing more but to accept, and have a great time with him. But you knew it was impossible. You were just so fucking tired of pretending - that you were happy; that he could ever love you the way he loved her; that you hadn't packed all your things only to unpack them before he arrives countless of times; that you hadn't thought of every which way to just end everything.

"I appreciate it, Daichi, but now is a bit..." Your final tone lingered in the stale air before it dissolved completely. You shot him an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, okay. I understand," he planted a chaste kiss on your forehead. You could've sworn that for a moment, that fluttering sensation in your chest was strong enough to make you forget.

"Now, get your lazy ass up off this bed or you're gonna be late for work," you grinned at him.

However, when Daichi had long gone to work, you could feel the silence envelope you. And in that said silence did your thoughts find the opportunity to consume you. It made you aware of the massive girth in your chest that weighed you down into your pooling misery.

For a while, you thought about leaving - thought about just hopping into your car and never looking back. You thought about going where the rain could wash off all your pain along with the droplets of water that would cascade down your skin. You thought of all that, and more.

But you did no such thing.

You were inclined to believe that thoughts were just thoughts that would never materialize into reality, much like your thoughts of making him fall for you. That never quite happened, didn't it?

How absolutely stupid of you.

So, just like that, you stayed as you feel yourself go down into the same ocean of misery of which Daichi drowns.

[END]

Description
Warnings: Profanities, angst, sexual implications

Promises

You remembered the first time he came to you.

He was broken.

He was in the state in which he was drowning in his own grief, and before you knew it the adamant man you once knew and loved was but a troubled soul. That was when he'd just lost Michimiya Yui.

That night, you promised him the world - that you would make it all better. You thought that, somehow, with your feelings for him, you could wipe away his suffering. Of all the promises you made that night, there was but one you made to yourself:

Someday, you would make him love you back. You had no care about the fact that he harbored no romantic feelings for you in that moment. You could just make him fall for you in time. That was what you truly believed.

Needless to say, you couldn't quite fulfill that promise. He never did look at you the way he looked at her, even as your relationship ((if you could even call it that)) pushed to its third year.

You weren't stupid, and you weren't blind.

Sure, if another person were to look at the both of you, they'd assume that you were just another happy couple. But more than anyone, you knew that was far from the truth. You could tell, because it was the little things that spoke the loudest - the little things that no outsider could do as much as make out. Mostly, it was the way he woke up next to you.

You did, however, love watching him him sleep. That was the only time, it seemed, that he'd smile with veracity.

That morning, you laid still next to him as if any movement could wake him. Just like that, you watched how the breadth of sunlight danced across the contours of his face. Ever so slightly, his lips curve into smile every once in a while. It took every bit of you not peck his lips right then and there.

However, moments later, he shifted in his sleep. Surely enough, his eyes soon cracked open, and there it was:

The disappointment.

In spite of the smile on his face, you could clearly see the sheet of discontent that was situated across chocolate-hue of his eyes all because you weren't her. You smiled back, albeit short-lived. After all, you still hadn't quite come around to forgetting what had happened last night.

Yesterday had been your anniversary, and during your special night, he called her name. Although you were aware that it was probably because he'd drunk quite a bit of wine that evening, it still didn't change the fact that he was still thinking of her even then. You knew that he'd always pictured her each time deep down in your mind, though. You just didn't expect to hear the proof from his own lips.

It was barely audible, but the both of you knew that the other had heard. Needless to say, he apologized profusely. But in that moment, all that ran through your mind was just how unbelievably tired you were.

"Hi," he whispered upon taking full hold of his consciousness, despite the trace of sopor from his voice.

"Hi." You knew what was coming next but you were having none of it.

"About last night, I-"

"Don't," you gave him yet another one of your millisecond smiles. "I'll get over it."

You lied. Just like each moment he murmured her name in his sleep, you'd just bury last night deep beneath your conscious mind. You had to. Else, you'd fall apart, and he would soon follow. You couldn't have that, could you?

"I want to make it up to you," he began with the same softness he used as he spoke around you. "How does dinner sound?"

God knew you wanted nothing more but to accept, and have a great time with him. But you knew it was impossible. You were just so fucking tired of pretending - that you were happy; that he could ever love you the way he loved her; that you hadn't packed all your things only to unpack them before he arrives countless of times; that you hadn't thought of every which way to just end everything.

"I appreciate it, Daichi, but now is a bit..." Your final tone lingered in the stale air before it dissolved completely. You shot him an apologetic smile.

"Yeah, okay. I understand," he planted a chaste kiss on your forehead. You could've sworn that for a moment, that fluttering sensation in your chest was strong enough to make you forget.

"Now, get your lazy ass up off this bed or you're gonna be late for work," you grinned at him.

However, when Daichi had long gone to work, you could feel the silence envelope you. And in that said silence did your thoughts find the opportunity to consume you. It made you aware of the massive girth in your chest that weighed you down into your pooling misery.

For a while, you thought about leaving - thought about just hopping into your car and never looking back. You thought about going where the rain could wash off all your pain along with the droplets of water that would cascade down your skin. You thought of all that, and more.

But you did no such thing.

You were inclined to believe that thoughts were just thoughts that would never materialize into reality, much like your thoughts of making him fall for you. That never quite happened, didn't it?

How absolutely stupid of you.

So, just like that, you stayed as you feel yourself go down into the same ocean of misery of which Daichi drowns.

[END]