HOME | DD

Description
Warnings: Profanities, Alcohol Consumption

What We Have

"Then maybe we should just break up!" You threw at Hajime without even realizing before you heard yourself. In spite of being well aware that this was your ego talking, you refused to relent. After all, this whole argument was his fault, wasn't it? What surprised you, though, wad his reply.

"Fine!" His fist hit the dry wall. "Let's break up."

"Fine! Good luck finding someone who can actually bear with you.”

It felt like your insides were convulsing with each second that passed, while tears threatened to fall from your eyes. God knew you didn't want to break up, but there was no fucking way you'd admit that you were wrong. Your rage got the better of you, and in no time, you stormed out of his apartment.

The moment you slammed your car door shut, a distorted shriek you hadn't realized you were holding in the back of your throat finally made its way out. It devoured the silence like wildfire, before it dissolved into same empty existence. With all honesty, you didn't want scream your guts out; you didn't want to walk away from that door: You didn't want to let the rage consume your mind until all it saw the end.

But you did all that and more.

The next thing you knew, you were speeding through the express way. The tears still refused to stop. They fell and fell until you think you've cried a good five years worth of tears, and then they'd fall some more. You could hardly breath as you thought back to what had happened. Each occurrence repeated over and over in your head like a broken record.

It haunted you.

So, you stepped on the gas pedal, as though somehow - if your were fast enough - you'd disappear into the fabric of time. And hell knew, in that moment, you wanted nothing more but to dissolve into the void.

But then, a luminescence invaded your vision. For a moment, you thought, your desire had been fulfilled, until the pain came. It felt as though the air that had been eluding you earlier that evening had disappeared completely. Simultaneously, you could only imbibe the incursion of an infernal heat that stuck your head, and thenafter extended to you entire body. Howeverthankfully enough, it was only for the briefest moment.

The next thing you knew, all that you could hear was the hum of the breeze, and all you could feel aside from the numbing cold was regret. That night, you didn't think of how beautiful the night sky was - not even how the blanket if stars coruscated brightly against your dimming sight.

All there was was this empty feeling of not having Hajime by your side.

•••

Iwaizumi

To Iwaizumi Hajime, you were the most beautiful thing that this world had to offer - in spite of the abundant scars and bruises tattooed onto your skin, in spite of the serpentine wires wrapped around your body, in spite of how life very gradually fled your being. He watched you as you slept on the hospital bed. After all, it was all he could do.

He could still clearly remember how the breath was knocked out from his chest the moment he received the call about your accident that dawn. Naturally, he drove to the hospital as soon as he'd heard. Hell, he probably would've ended up in an accident, too, if he'd been just as unlucky as you were.

In that moment, wanted nothing but to hold you in his arms, and to whisper apologies against your lips. But he won't. He knew that he doesn't get to apologize. He didn't deserve to.

This was his fault.

You could never wake up; you could spend the rest of your days on that bed; you could wither away without experiencing another second of your life. And all that was his doing. If he'd just stopped you from leaving that night, then maybe - just maybe - he would still be able to hear your melodious laughter.

The idea of never being able to hold you killed him from the inside out, and the fact that it was his fault did even worse. He didn't deserve to be here. He didn't even deserve to breath the same air you breath.

So, he left.

•••

You

The first thought to cross your mind at your moment of cognizance was the aridity of your throat. The second was where the hell you were, and what in fuck's name happened. Naturally, when you remembered, the third thought involved Hajime.

Was he sitting outside? Or was he sleeping soundly on his bed? Or did he not care at all? The possibilities were endless, but you were too tired to entertain your train of thought any further. It was a struggle, even just to keep your eyes open, much less to function properly. Before you could quickly slip into stupor, though, a nurse rushed into the room spouting words from her mouth you couldn't quite catch. Then, before you knew it, all there was yet again was absolutely nothing.

•••

Iwaizumi

Without you, he didn’t know what else to do. The moment you lost consciousness was the moment his world lost meaning. He felt as though all he could do now was drink the day away while he thought only of you.

•••

You

The next time you came to, you were greeted by an overly-chipper Oikawa, who gave you a crushing hug the moment he saw you shift in your bed.

"It's great to see you too, buddy," you managed to choke out with your dry voice. You heard him giggle, before he puled back.

"Your family's on the way here from the airport, and everyone's stoked to visit you!" He chirped.

You feel your heart lighten considerably at his words, only to constrict yet again once you realize that he hadn't mentioned Hajime.

"Is Hajime...?" You trailed off, since you had no clue how to thread on with the question. Oikawa seems to know exactly what you wanted to ask, though.

Almost guiltily he began, "Iwa-Chan has been MIA since the first twenty-four hours of the accident. He came here as soon as he heard... And he stayed for a long while. In fact, the last time I saw him, he was just there sitting in the chair by your bed."

"Wait up. The last time you saw him?" You burst out in exasperation. "What do you mean? How long was that ago?"

Oikawa seemed hesitant, but he answered anyway, "A month ago."

"And you haven't heard from him since?" A sense of urgency floods your mind. What if something bad had happened to him, too?

"Yes."

"What do you mean 'Yes.' Do you know where he is? Or- o-or something. What if," you choked. "What if something happened to him?" There was more venom in your voice that you'd hoped for, but that hardly mattered now. Oikawa, thankfully enough, didn't seem to be upset about your little conniption.

"He called me before he went poof. He said that he'd be gone for a while." You finally understood the reason behind the guilty expression he wore.

Hajime left you.

Your heart sank in your chest as you reclined back onto the bed. More than anything else, sadness and disappointment dominated the surge if emotions currently overwhelming you.

"I'm sure he had his reasons, Y/N-Chan." Oikawa spoke, but you didnt quite hear it. In fact, all you heard were the voices in the back of you head, each one of them realizing Hajime had abandoned you.

In that moment, you felt pain more excruciating than the one you felt in the crash. In fact, you would rather slam into a ten-wheeler truck a hundred times, than to even just feel a tinge of this pain. Before you knew it, you were crying yet again.

•••

Iwaizumi

That morning, Iwaizumi Hajime practically woke up sweating vodka. The stench of alcohol had latched onto every inch of him, just as it had every single day of that month. After all, it was only when he was intoxicated did the memories of the accident leave him be. He didn't drink before, but goddamn he'd be fucked if he didn't after the accident.

He wasn't drunk when he saw the caller ID showcased on his phone, though. So, he was sure this wasn't one of the reoccurring dreams he has where you’d call him, as if the accident had never happened. This was real. You were calling him. Him.

After a few moments of arguing with himself, he decided to answer.

"Hajime?" Your voice rang through the line. Despite the shitty signal, he could feel the fire that was eating him alive be finally placated with each syllable you articulated.

"Y/N..." His voice was raspy from underuse and alcohol. He knew you could tell.

"Hajime, I'm in the place where we first met. I'm waiting for you."

"Bu-" he tried to reason with you, but you interjected.

"I won't leave unless you come." With that, you hung up.

Wordlessly, Hajime spring up and dumps himself in the shower before shimmying into his clothes. Without a minute lost, he grabbed his keys, and he drove to you.

•••

You

You refused to give up on Hajime. You mean, he wouldn't have came to the hospital in the first place if no longer cared about you, right? With that final thread of hope, you waited for him in the courtyard of your old highschool. You sat beneath the biggest tree, taking shade from the glare of the afternoon sun.

Upon waiting, you traced your hands over the bark, attempting to locate a specific rift. You couldn't help but smile, once you find the 'always' marked across that tree. You could remember that day perfectly.

That was the day Hajime first entertained the idea of PDA in school grounds. It wasn't anything special, really. Nothing hard-core. All he did, in fact, was lie his head down on your lap. Strangely enough, that was enough to make him a blushing mess, in spite of trying so hard to conceal it. That was also the day he first said he loved you, and the first time you said it back.

"Y/N," Hajime called you from your train of thought. He came. He actually came.

Maybe all hope wasn't lost.

"Hajime," you could feel your lips crack into a smile. "You look like shit."

Stiffly, he stood there looking quite unsure as to what to do. So, you motioned for him sit down beside you. With hesitance, he did just that.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"What did you want to talk about," you repeated sarcastically. "I think it's pretty clear what I want to talk about."

He shifted uncomfortably, which was something he hardly did in face of your sarcasm. That was when you were certain that something was up.

"I'm sorry," he replied after a few delayed beats. That was when it hit you:

"You think it was your fault, don't you?"

"What?"

"The accident. You think it was your fault," you didn't give him a chance to respond before you continued. "Well, I'm telling you that it's not."

"Y/N, don't." He stared at you, as if he was drinking the sight of you.

"You weren't the one speeding 60 over the limit that night, and you weren't the one behind the truck that slammed into my car. Just how are you at fault?"

He didn't reply. All he did was look at you with those eyes that were filled with guilt.

"It wasn't your fault." You whispered against his lips. "The circumstances were out of your hands."

You pecked his lips, "So stop blaming yourself."

With that, he pressed his lips into your own. His touch was light, as though he was afraid you'd break beneath the force. However, you could feel the longing in each tug and release. He kissed you lightly, yet firmly. He kissed you as though he was making up for lost time. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

When you pulled back for air, he whispered against your ear just as he had years before, "I love you."

You smiled, "I love you, too."

[END]

Description
Warnings: Profanities, Alcohol Consumption

What We Have

"Then maybe we should just break up!" You threw at Hajime without even realizing before you heard yourself. In spite of being well aware that this was your ego talking, you refused to relent. After all, this whole argument was his fault, wasn't it? What surprised you, though, wad his reply.

"Fine!" His fist hit the dry wall. "Let's break up."

"Fine! Good luck finding someone who can actually bear with you.”

It felt like your insides were convulsing with each second that passed, while tears threatened to fall from your eyes. God knew you didn't want to break up, but there was no fucking way you'd admit that you were wrong. Your rage got the better of you, and in no time, you stormed out of his apartment.

The moment you slammed your car door shut, a distorted shriek you hadn't realized you were holding in the back of your throat finally made its way out. It devoured the silence like wildfire, before it dissolved into same empty existence. With all honesty, you didn't want scream your guts out; you didn't want to walk away from that door: You didn't want to let the rage consume your mind until all it saw the end.

But you did all that and more.

The next thing you knew, you were speeding through the express way. The tears still refused to stop. They fell and fell until you think you've cried a good five years worth of tears, and then they'd fall some more. You could hardly breath as you thought back to what had happened. Each occurrence repeated over and over in your head like a broken record.

It haunted you.

So, you stepped on the gas pedal, as though somehow - if your were fast enough - you'd disappear into the fabric of time. And hell knew, in that moment, you wanted nothing more but to dissolve into the void.

But then, a luminescence invaded your vision. For a moment, you thought, your desire had been fulfilled, until the pain came. It felt as though the air that had been eluding you earlier that evening had disappeared completely. Simultaneously, you could only imbibe the incursion of an infernal heat that stuck your head, and thenafter extended to you entire body. Howeverthankfully enough, it was only for the briefest moment.

The next thing you knew, all that you could hear was the hum of the breeze, and all you could feel aside from the numbing cold was regret. That night, you didn't think of how beautiful the night sky was - not even how the blanket if stars coruscated brightly against your dimming sight.

All there was was this empty feeling of not having Hajime by your side.

•••

Iwaizumi

To Iwaizumi Hajime, you were the most beautiful thing that this world had to offer - in spite of the abundant scars and bruises tattooed onto your skin, in spite of the serpentine wires wrapped around your body, in spite of how life very gradually fled your being. He watched you as you slept on the hospital bed. After all, it was all he could do.

He could still clearly remember how the breath was knocked out from his chest the moment he received the call about your accident that dawn. Naturally, he drove to the hospital as soon as he'd heard. Hell, he probably would've ended up in an accident, too, if he'd been just as unlucky as you were.

In that moment, wanted nothing but to hold you in his arms, and to whisper apologies against your lips. But he won't. He knew that he doesn't get to apologize. He didn't deserve to.

This was his fault.

You could never wake up; you could spend the rest of your days on that bed; you could wither away without experiencing another second of your life. And all that was his doing. If he'd just stopped you from leaving that night, then maybe - just maybe - he would still be able to hear your melodious laughter.

The idea of never being able to hold you killed him from the inside out, and the fact that it was his fault did even worse. He didn't deserve to be here. He didn't even deserve to breath the same air you breath.

So, he left.

•••

You

The first thought to cross your mind at your moment of cognizance was the aridity of your throat. The second was where the hell you were, and what in fuck's name happened. Naturally, when you remembered, the third thought involved Hajime.

Was he sitting outside? Or was he sleeping soundly on his bed? Or did he not care at all? The possibilities were endless, but you were too tired to entertain your train of thought any further. It was a struggle, even just to keep your eyes open, much less to function properly. Before you could quickly slip into stupor, though, a nurse rushed into the room spouting words from her mouth you couldn't quite catch. Then, before you knew it, all there was yet again was absolutely nothing.

•••

Iwaizumi

Without you, he didn’t know what else to do. The moment you lost consciousness was the moment his world lost meaning. He felt as though all he could do now was drink the day away while he thought only of you.

•••

You

The next time you came to, you were greeted by an overly-chipper Oikawa, who gave you a crushing hug the moment he saw you shift in your bed.

"It's great to see you too, buddy," you managed to choke out with your dry voice. You heard him giggle, before he puled back.

"Your family's on the way here from the airport, and everyone's stoked to visit you!" He chirped.

You feel your heart lighten considerably at his words, only to constrict yet again once you realize that he hadn't mentioned Hajime.

"Is Hajime...?" You trailed off, since you had no clue how to thread on with the question. Oikawa seems to know exactly what you wanted to ask, though.

Almost guiltily he began, "Iwa-Chan has been MIA since the first twenty-four hours of the accident. He came here as soon as he heard... And he stayed for a long while. In fact, the last time I saw him, he was just there sitting in the chair by your bed."

"Wait up. The last time you saw him?" You burst out in exasperation. "What do you mean? How long was that ago?"

Oikawa seemed hesitant, but he answered anyway, "A month ago."

"And you haven't heard from him since?" A sense of urgency floods your mind. What if something bad had happened to him, too?

"Yes."

"What do you mean 'Yes.' Do you know where he is? Or- o-or something. What if," you choked. "What if something happened to him?" There was more venom in your voice that you'd hoped for, but that hardly mattered now. Oikawa, thankfully enough, didn't seem to be upset about your little conniption.

"He called me before he went poof. He said that he'd be gone for a while." You finally understood the reason behind the guilty expression he wore.

Hajime left you.

Your heart sank in your chest as you reclined back onto the bed. More than anything else, sadness and disappointment dominated the surge if emotions currently overwhelming you.

"I'm sure he had his reasons, Y/N-Chan." Oikawa spoke, but you didnt quite hear it. In fact, all you heard were the voices in the back of you head, each one of them realizing Hajime had abandoned you.

In that moment, you felt pain more excruciating than the one you felt in the crash. In fact, you would rather slam into a ten-wheeler truck a hundred times, than to even just feel a tinge of this pain. Before you knew it, you were crying yet again.

•••

Iwaizumi

That morning, Iwaizumi Hajime practically woke up sweating vodka. The stench of alcohol had latched onto every inch of him, just as it had every single day of that month. After all, it was only when he was intoxicated did the memories of the accident leave him be. He didn't drink before, but goddamn he'd be fucked if he didn't after the accident.

He wasn't drunk when he saw the caller ID showcased on his phone, though. So, he was sure this wasn't one of the reoccurring dreams he has where you’d call him, as if the accident had never happened. This was real. You were calling him. Him.

After a few moments of arguing with himself, he decided to answer.

"Hajime?" Your voice rang through the line. Despite the shitty signal, he could feel the fire that was eating him alive be finally placated with each syllable you articulated.

"Y/N..." His voice was raspy from underuse and alcohol. He knew you could tell.

"Hajime, I'm in the place where we first met. I'm waiting for you."

"Bu-" he tried to reason with you, but you interjected.

"I won't leave unless you come." With that, you hung up.

Wordlessly, Hajime spring up and dumps himself in the shower before shimmying into his clothes. Without a minute lost, he grabbed his keys, and he drove to you.

•••

You

You refused to give up on Hajime. You mean, he wouldn't have came to the hospital in the first place if no longer cared about you, right? With that final thread of hope, you waited for him in the courtyard of your old highschool. You sat beneath the biggest tree, taking shade from the glare of the afternoon sun.

Upon waiting, you traced your hands over the bark, attempting to locate a specific rift. You couldn't help but smile, once you find the 'always' marked across that tree. You could remember that day perfectly.

That was the day Hajime first entertained the idea of PDA in school grounds. It wasn't anything special, really. Nothing hard-core. All he did, in fact, was lie his head down on your lap. Strangely enough, that was enough to make him a blushing mess, in spite of trying so hard to conceal it. That was also the day he first said he loved you, and the first time you said it back.

"Y/N," Hajime called you from your train of thought. He came. He actually came.

Maybe all hope wasn't lost.

"Hajime," you could feel your lips crack into a smile. "You look like shit."

Stiffly, he stood there looking quite unsure as to what to do. So, you motioned for him sit down beside you. With hesitance, he did just that.

"What did you want to talk about?"

"What did you want to talk about," you repeated sarcastically. "I think it's pretty clear what I want to talk about."

He shifted uncomfortably, which was something he hardly did in face of your sarcasm. That was when you were certain that something was up.

"I'm sorry," he replied after a few delayed beats. That was when it hit you:

"You think it was your fault, don't you?"

"What?"

"The accident. You think it was your fault," you didn't give him a chance to respond before you continued. "Well, I'm telling you that it's not."

"Y/N, don't." He stared at you, as if he was drinking the sight of you.

"You weren't the one speeding 60 over the limit that night, and you weren't the one behind the truck that slammed into my car. Just how are you at fault?"

He didn't reply. All he did was look at you with those eyes that were filled with guilt.

"It wasn't your fault." You whispered against his lips. "The circumstances were out of your hands."

You pecked his lips, "So stop blaming yourself."

With that, he pressed his lips into your own. His touch was light, as though he was afraid you'd break beneath the force. However, you could feel the longing in each tug and release. He kissed you lightly, yet firmly. He kissed you as though he was making up for lost time. And you wouldn't have it any other way.

When you pulled back for air, he whispered against your ear just as he had years before, "I love you."

You smiled, "I love you, too."

[END]