HOME | DD

Aogami — EdY: Instructor Suzaku Shin

Published: 2012-04-18 11:49:10 +0000 UTC; Views: 3372; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 52
Redirect to original
Description Staff Application
[☯||Name:] Suzaku Shin [☯||Alias / Nickname:] Sensei [☯||Age:] 31 [☯||Species:] Kirin [☯||Height:] 5'5” [☯||Seme/Seke/Uke:] Seke [☯||Sadism/Masochism:] Masochism [☯||Speciality/Talents:] Japanese Jiujitsu/Aikido
Ballet/Contemporary Dance/Break-Dancing
Massage Theraphy
Pyrokinesis
Teaching
Sex-Techniques [☯||Wealth:] $8725 [☯||Likes:] Strawberries
Running
Swimming
Working out
Practicing
Teaching
Trashy Novels [☯||Dislikes:] Laziness
Poor work ethic
Willful stupidity or ignorance
People who can't keep up with him
Young Children
Guns [☯||Personality:] Shin is dedicated to his job, and a talented, resourceful teacher. As the resort's self-defense instructor he is demanding and insistent, but patient with those who aren't as quick to grasp the techniques as long as they are working hard. The pets' safety is his primary concern in this role, and he stresses this during his classes.

As a dance teacher, Shin expects no less than perfection. Those coming to him for dance lessons always begin rooted in the classics of ballet with strength and flexibility training. If they show promise, talent, and a desire to learn more, he may introduce them to the many other styles he's learned over the years and help them grow as an artist during one on one lessons, but this is rare. He teaches two group dance classes – Ballet, and Erotic Dance. In Erotic Dance, he focuses on performance rather than technique, and how to craft a positive experience for the clients Pets will be entertaining with their skills.

As a Sex-Techniques instructor, Shin is all business. He spends the first day of every new class expunging the ideas of shame and embarrassment from his students by having them strip naked, pair up, and draw one another. Once they're comfortable with nudity and open sexuality, he begins teaching them how to make a lover, or more importantly a client's experience at the resort not just positive, but extraordinary enough to keep them coming back year after year. He also focuses on the importance of being able to separate emotion from sex when necessary, but ensures that his students are also aware of the role sex plays in healthy, intimate relationships. Although Shin is all too aware that his students will most likely have many sexual partners they would probably prefer not to have, he teaches the class mostly in the hopes that his lessons will help students to develop real, healthy sexual relationships, rather than allowing their role here turn them against sex entirely.

When he's off the job (and not spending endless hours preparing for classes, reading or training), Shin is pretty relaxed and laid-back. Despite his harsh demeanor in class, he's friendly and even a bit shy during social interactions. Though he's rarely the life of the party, he has a million stories to tell about his life in East Asia, and never declines to entertain a guest or a client on request. He's even been known to step in and salvage dire situations for his students when things get beyond their abilities.

As a lover, Shin's vast knowledge and experience make him quite creative and versatile when it comes to sex, though truth be told he actually prefers the more vanilla varieties when given the choice. Mostly, he's all about pleasing his partner before he even considers pleasing himself, and he carries this attitude with him through life as well as love. [☯||History:] Shin was born 31 years ago in Okinawa, Japan, when a wise, compassionate man named Suzaku Ryuzaki died of tuberculosis. As Kirin are spawned by the death of benevolent men, showing the deference of the heavens to man's greatest contributions, Shin had no birth parents. However, recognizing the symbolism behind his birth, the Suzaku family adopted him as one of their own, and named him Shin (death) to remind them of how he came to be.

The young Shin was very lucky in that his adopted family was quite wealthy, allowing him to freely pursue his interests. Kirin mature to young boyhood very quickly, but are very long-lived, so their journey to sexual maturity is a longer one. He grew to about the size of a ten year old in the space of only a single year, and spent until his mid-twenties as a prepubescent boy studying dance and martial arts, honing his body into a slim, lithe and powerful machine which would obey even the harshest commands.

Once he reached sexual maturity at the ripe old age of 22, Shin was already quite curious about sex and why adults seemed so preoccupied with it. He spent several years apprenticed to a masseuse in Japan's red-light district, learning the arts of massage, courtship and sex, but eventually his family discovered where he'd been spending all their money when a newspaper article scandalized him and disgraced the Suzaku family name. Although they had grown to love Shin, and felt that to do so would be a dishonor to the man for whom he was born, the Suzakus had no choice but to disown him.

The next chapters of Shin's life were spent as a penniless wanderer in various places in and around Japan and China, even so far west as Tibet. But eventually he caught wind of a dream job – one which could utilize all of his talents and the skills he'd spent so much time and effort crafting. And so he came to work at Eden d'Y. [☯||Classes:] Self-Defense and Martial Arts
Dance
Sex Ed for Resort Pets [☯||Other:] Although Shin is practiced and skillful with numerous hand to hand weapons, he loathes firearms. He finds them a disgraceful weapon which places the power to kill in the hands of those who haven't developed the temperament necessary to wield it. Shin does recognize the usefulness of guns, and keeps one for his own personal defense; his distaste for them is more related to the majority of people who use them. [☯||Partner:] None yet [☯||Dorm:] Hotel suite 303
Related content
Comments: 40

I-Devi [2012-07-20 16:28:13 +0000 UTC]

Sasha: *He walked along the hallway with looking at a note in his hand. The dance room had to be here somewhere?... Finally he found it. He was actually looking forward to this class. He enjoyed dancing and would like to learn something new. His Russian dances where getting boring. He knocked on the door before open it* Hello? *He walked in and spotted the smaller male inside* Sorry to just walk in but are you Shin? *He looked the other over. He had cute ears. He smiled kindly than* I'm Sasha. I wanted to take the dances classes. Are you still teaching it?

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to I-Devi [2012-07-22 09:11:47 +0000 UTC]

Shin: "Sasha is it? Sasha ... Sasha ... Ah! Here you are." he said, eyes drifting down his class roster. "A bit early for today's lesson but yes, I'm Instructor Suzaku and among other things I'll be teaching dance." he smiled warmly, setting the clip-board down. He was wearing a track suit, and his long fiery hair was bound up in a ponytail; he leaned up against the balance bar on the expansive mirrored wall of the studio as he inspected Sasha. "You're no stranger to dance I see. Hopefully I'll have something to teach you!" he laughed "We'll be starting out with classical stuff. Basics - ballet and the like, though if there's interest I'd like to try and work in some gymnastics and contemporary routines. I bet the clientele would like it if I did a lesson or two on belly dancing ..."

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

I-Devi In reply to Aogami [2012-07-22 09:29:17 +0000 UTC]

Sasha: He laughed a little at Shin's words. "Sorry. I have a habit of coming early. I don't like being late for something I like to do." He smiled as the other looked him over. He dance as long as he could remember. It kept food on the table after all. He raised a brow at the belly dancing bit. "Belly dancing? Do man do that? I thought only woman did that. Well or so I heared. Maybe I spent to much time alone in the woodlands afterall." He laughed. "Anyway, I'm sure you can teach me a lot. I only know Russian dances. So I'm a bit limitted." He's tail moved happily behind him as he got interested at what Shin could teach him. He than remembered something and lowered the bag hanging over his shoulder. "I have something for you..." He pulled out one of his finest bottles of Wodka and handed it to Shin. A habit he had. He found a teacher neared some respect so he brought a gift. "I hope you enjoy a drink. I looked forward to your classes." He said with a warmth smile on his face.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to I-Devi [2012-07-23 12:38:05 +0000 UTC]

Shin: Nodding thankfully, the kirin accepted Sasha's gift, turning it over in his hands to read the label. "If you'd given this to me before the lesson we might've had quite a different class." he joked, setting the bottle into his gym bag for safe keeping. "You're right about women primarily doing those types of dances, but keep in mind this is an island for the prostitution of men only, so shall we say ... being in touch with your feminine side is sometimes a necessity for the boys here. Besides - it's a sexy dance and the clients love to see the boys perform BUT, you must lay the proper foundations before you can build a house; which is why we're starting off with these intensive ballet lessons. In ten weeks you and everyone else who hasn't dropped out should be ready to take on anything I throw at you to learn." he finished, giving Sasha a sly wink as he squirted his water bottle into his mouth and wiped the sweat from his brow with a loose towel.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

I-Devi In reply to Aogami [2012-07-24 17:35:30 +0000 UTC]

Sasha: Laughed at Shin winked at him. He was funny, cute but something was off. He could not put a finger on it yet. Maybe his looks? He shaked his head and got back on the topic. "I'll try not to let you down teach." He smiled as he puts his bag away. "Anyway I think I can probably find some use for this leasons. If been trying to get back into shape. I've never been fat and I like to keep it that way. It's to easy to gain weight here with all the food and stuff. Even sex won't kill all those kilos. So I'm sure this will be helpful." He yawned a bit. He was still somewhat sleepy from late night and from the heat. "So shall we start before I fall asleep. Where do we begin... or are others still be coming in?" He asked looking toward the door. He was early after all.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to I-Devi [2012-07-30 10:21:15 +0000 UTC]

Shin: "That won't be necessary." he replied, frowning. "There's been a cancellation of class today due to weather." the childish teacher looked out the window at the ominous storm clouds gathering quickly. "I guess you didn't get the notice, but since the dance studio is so far from the dormitories they didn't want everyone out in the storm."

As if on cue, the first heavy raindrops began pattering against the windows, quickly increasing in frequency until the rain was an ongoing din the pair had to speak over to be heard. "Since we're here though, we might as well do as we planned. There won't be much else TO do until the storm lets up unless you'd like some personal instruction on your dance."

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MusicInRain [2012-05-29 01:16:51 +0000 UTC]

He's wonderful |D I'd love to rp sometime <3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MusicInRain [2012-05-30 16:55:13 +0000 UTC]

feel free to note me

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

Othoutegra [2012-05-23 03:49:34 +0000 UTC]

… coo~

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

NotaVerde [2012-04-27 14:27:58 +0000 UTC]

I can't say how much I adore this little Kirin CX
Although there's a lot of text, it was interesting to read and I can't wait for my pet to meet his sensei~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to NotaVerde [2012-04-27 17:38:27 +0000 UTC]

Heheh look forward to his assignments. They'll be ... interesting. fufufu

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NotaVerde In reply to Aogami [2012-04-27 17:48:41 +0000 UTC]

Ouh, I'm sure they will be full of awesome~ 👍: 0 ⏩: 0

jy1235689 [2012-04-19 04:54:52 +0000 UTC]

WOAH, wasn't expecting the wall of text to follow. Such hard work... you are one of few.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to jy1235689 [2012-04-19 05:20:41 +0000 UTC]

ROFL YEAH I tend to sort of get in the zone and write too much ;

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

jy1235689 In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 05:28:33 +0000 UTC]

When I do that, it turns into senseless horrid banter; but still, you have a talent there, Doniel~

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to jy1235689 [2012-04-19 16:11:53 +0000 UTC]

OHOHOHO well thank you good sir. I do try my best, and I've been writing for a long time x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

jy1235689 In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 22:21:02 +0000 UTC]

Sir knight, you are a noble gentleman and scholar.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to jy1235689 [2012-04-19 22:57:05 +0000 UTC]

I know. I mean uh ... some ...gentlemanly response

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

jy1235689 In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 23:48:30 +0000 UTC]

It's a good thing I didn't get anything logical from what you just said.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

RociStone [2012-04-18 21:56:18 +0000 UTC]

I can't use the "critique" Feature, so I'll just add it here.

Lots of Information- loads and loads of it. Tons of it..

Not a gram of character.

Artists use these "sheets" as a way to "Unload" (read: dump) character information they can't seem to express any other way.

You're cheating. Instead of doing artwork (or story work) that demonstrates all this fascinating character you've developed, you just write it down on a page with a few (as few as possible) character related drawings, and *bang* all of a sudden, we (the audience) are "responsible " for knowing what's on the "character sheet".
It's as bad as a lazy professor slapping a freshman class with a 300 page syllabus, and telling them as an aside that all of it will be on their first quiz next week.

There's something else here that bugs me, and I'm going to get it off my chest.

Why should I care about whoever this is, and what they like and don't like?

You haven't given me any compelling reason to linger over the character, or to wonder what it would be like to come face to face with him.
Character sheets are about character. I don't see much here at all. I don't spend long minutes with my mind sparkling over what it would be like to curl up with him and read "trashy novels" to each other on a damp, rainy night in the warmth of his arms, curled up in his bedroom in Shinjuku. I don't feel any impulse to discover how good his Aikido might be, or to feel his touch as he massages my shoulders after tossing me around like an empty jacket in said dojo. (I've studied Aikido for better than half my life, by the way.) I don't spend a moment wondering what it might be like to do the waltz, minuet, or Swan Lake with him. There isn't some quiet "kinjite" whisper deep inside my mind that says I want to be taken by this "sex instructor" and willingly ravaged to within an inch of all my deepest fantasies.

Rather than really, honestly "work" with this character to build him a following, or to ignite new interest in him, you do the equivalent of driving him to the worst part of the city, and shoving him out the car door and onto the dirty, dangerous streets. It's a form of character abandonment I simply will not abide.

You make him a dancer.. a dance instructor, no less, and you condemn him to one stiff, lonely picture washed over by a sea of words that drowns him.
Put him in a leotard, make him sweat, and have him *doing something* that combines dance and Martial arts, and you light the fuse on what could be a stick of dynamite.

I should look at this and say "Oh my goodness, he's beautiful, more, *Please?*

As it is, the artwork is OK, but as someone who "does art and stories" there's nothing here that's going to grab me and make me want to create for him over some other character I'm already working with. I like the artwork,(although I think there is something lacking in the expression and light of his eyes.) and I will say I like the species in general, but rather than a "diamond in the rough" he's just another"character." This "sheet" does nothing to make him stand out, and all the words are ineffective, because I don't feel anything in them.

Sorry if I'm a bit rough, but doing something like this requires huge loads of work, that most creators tend to avoid, rather than embrace. Go back, and put in the work, and your skills are good enough to light this place up but good. (It needs it-Badly.)

Keep on, I'll be watching you!

Roci

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to RociStone [2012-04-18 22:44:42 +0000 UTC]

Well, I freely admit that when people tend to 'dump' exposition on their character sheets it gets tedious to read. Here's the thing though. This is for a club, and all that exposition there is required to be in written form. I tried to keep it brief, and that leads it to be a little dry but what else can I do?

Maybe I'll go back and add some character building drawings on the sides and the like, but the deadline for the club was coming up and I spent a really long time trying to make it look nice and sound palatable. I'm getting defensive here because I feel like you're on the attack. I'd like to hear more about my painting technique, my color and composition choices, my writing especially and what's lacking there. How DO you take a character sheet with set requirements like these and turn it into something people want to read?

I'll do some more work on the art side - you come back and help me out a bit more with that other stuff

Thanks for taking the time to write out such a thoughtful critique though. I probably would have just left it as is otherwise.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RociStone In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 08:08:07 +0000 UTC]

>>How DO you take a character sheet with set requirements like these and turn it into something people want to read?<<

Good question. The old saw about pictures being worth 1000 words works well. Don't gear toward having it read, make it something to be seen and flipped thru instead. Martial artist? Dancer? Lover? How about a page of real quick, roughie sketches covering all the facets of this gem? It doesn't have to be color keyed and clean, and all that, but it does have to do some more important things. It has to convey life, motion (if possible) and character.

You're also suffering from information overload. This kind of thing is what happens in a bad spy novel when you pick up someone's file and read it in place of character development and story exposition. You give him a life and skills set that's nigh superhuman. Okay. The flip side is that you have to invest the time to show off those skills so an audience can admire them as much as they come to admire the hero who uses the skills.
The way this character is done up, he can walk in anyplace, succeed at anything, and walk away without paying a price for anything. While that's fun (for a few minutes) after the first couple of times it is --well-- boring. The perfection of skills requires practice and labor. Perfection is a road, not a destination. The thing about falling in love with a character is that we're with them for the long walk, not just the wrap party at the hotel afterwords.

Trying to cram all this on one sheet, for a "one off" is just not possible, meaning it cannot be done well, even tho I can see how hard you are trying. You have to let the visual aspects carry more of the load. Imply things, rather than make outright statements. Let the minds of the people looking at him finish the thoughts. That's another way to build connections with a character over time. You leave almost no room for the audience to connect their own fantasies to him.

You say this is for a club? Do the members already know this fellow to any depth, or is he a creation just for them? The thing is, if they know him already to some degree, that ought to mean less exposition. If he's "virgin", than I would tend to think that this club would be delighted to wait a bit longer, and receive from you something slightly deeper than the one sheet. The additional sketches would not be that much work, but I suppose that would be a function of your own time, and naturally how much you are being paid as a ratio to what the character means to you beyond your wallet.

You say you want to hear more about colors and such? I didn't comment those quite on purpose. They will do if all you're going to do is that one central illustration. The colors add nothing to the mix, but they take nothing away, so they are all right. I say this in part because I come from a school that likes to see sketches before I think about color. This is simply because if the sketches "hook" me into the character, I don't care if he's sky blue and pink with chartreuse polka dots. Now before you go and do something silly, yes, good color key is a major thing, but let's not worry about the frosting before the cake has left the oven.

Looking at the new sheet, I am struck by one possibility. You have the right idea with the pencils around him. They compress information such that you could almost turn this into two pages, made with one fold, with the text on the first (left hand) page, and the artwork on the facing (right hand) page.
Technically, that is one sheet, but the presentation is two "pages" which flow together well. Very nice job on the new sheet!
You might have to play with fonts, type styles and layouts to get the text onto a folded "page" but it can be done if you are more general and less specific to start out with. The information in the plaid border is fine. Most of the stuff below that is grist more for a short story or introductory comic strip(s) Version two is much better both in terms of character and our hero now has a much better "hook". Goodnes knows I would not mind seeing more of him now. I'll bettcha a soda pop that lots of people in this "club" will feel the same way *wink*

Keep on keepin' on!

Roci

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to RociStone [2012-04-19 16:07:40 +0000 UTC]

I'm not being paid at all, it's a roleplay club and I'm volunteering for a staff position there. I'm glad you like the new work I added, but unfortunately the rest of what you requested is going to be difficult since I'm stuck using the default format character sheet for the club.

In terms of having an over-powered character who's not all that interesting, here's the problem. The position I'm applying for requires him to be an instructor for three subjects: Sex Techniques, Self-Defense, and Dance. Since it's a very classy resort, capable of paying top dollar for only the best employees, he HAS to be quite good at at least those three things. So I wrote a character who has thirty years of experience and training in those fields and still has an excuse to look like a teenager and fit in with the rest of the staff.

I plan on working more with the character, doing illustrations for events, drawing memes, roleplaying etc. So the character IS going to have opportunities to develop beyond the wall of text on this sheet. The sheets themselves are meant as an RP aid. When you're in the chatrooms talking with a person, you can click over to their page, read for a couple minutes and have a good idea of where the RP might go based on your partner's history without having to spend half the time out of character asking the player questions and fumbling around in the dark.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

RociStone In reply to Aogami [2012-04-20 12:25:09 +0000 UTC]

>>I'm not being paid at all, it's a roleplay club and I'm volunteering for a staff position there.

Okay, then you should be a bit less "constrained" in some of the forms your using.

I'm glad you like the new work I added, but unfortunately the rest of what you requested is going to be difficult since I'm stuck using the default format character sheet for the club.

That does make things difficult. If this is Volunteer work, once you're accepted (If they don't accept you, clearly they have no eye for talent.) maybe you can "nudge" them into altering the confining format. The way it's set up now, there's no mystery, no discovery, and very little fun in RP'ing a character about whom you suddenly "know everything." There is another down side as well. If you're RP'ing a dancer, or scientist, or a chamber maid for that matter, you can pretty much BS your way thru about 85% of the situations you'll be in when it comes to character interaction and general fiction. (Let's face it, most of those you encounter are going to want to get this guy naked, and fast. The only "Ballet" most of them will want is the horizontal kind.) But their might be a few instances where you're going to have to actually know something about what the character knows, in order to make him more dimensional and believable. So you can kick back and create nuclear physicists and role play them all the live-long day, but there will come a time you'd better be able to tell a proton from an electron at the very least. The "problem" with spinning out these super competent characters is sometimes "living up" to them. There's a load of work there too, and (as usual) most people (Role players included, unfortunately) run away screaming. More's the pity. But if you're playing with someone who wants "horizontal ballet" lessons, you won't need to worry about knowing the plot to "Swan Lake."

In terms of having an over-powered character who's not all that interesting, here's the problem. The position I'm applying for requires him to be an instructor for three subjects: Sex Techniques, Self-Defense, and Dance. Since it's a very classy resort, capable of paying top dollar for only the best employees, he HAS to be quite good at at least those three things. So I wrote a character who has thirty years of experience and training in those fields and still has an excuse to look like a teenager and fit in with the rest of the staff.

>>Well here we go. You've made him 31, if I remember his sheet. I have a question for you. What abut childhood and puberty? I mean that even given the fact that he's non human, he wasn't born knowing all of this stuff (unless there's some tech in his culture you haven't mentioned) so let's do some math.


Assuming that he really is in every way extraordinary, his body could not have developed the physiology to sustain the musculature needed for intense combat style Martial arts and dance until at least the (human age) of about ten (human)years. While anyone can study and take part in any activity from a very early age (including dance and the Martial Arts) and become incredibly proficient (even deadly) for their age, there must come a time when age and sexual maturity causes changes in the body and mind.For anyone studying intensely physical and/or mentally challenging subjects, this is the time the key really turns, and both the body and mind can respond to more intense training and study. So someone who is good at Martial Arts at say seven years of age, continues their studies thru puberty with the same level of intensity, (which is completely possible, although difficult in some aspects) by the time he's say 17, you could have someone who's on the way to being another Nureyev, or someone with the intensity and skill set of a Bruce Lee. But remember, there are still only so many hours in a day. One must eat, sleep and other things. Sickness and injury can also cut into time, and tax even the trained body to the point of failure. The same can all be said of the mind.
But the cost for all these super skills is, at base, time.

Even if (for stories sake) we cut this time in half (5 years) this would mean that your character has achieved complete mastery of three of the most complex skill sets in Human Culture in (31-5 years)=26 years


One super skill set in (roughly)25 years? No worries.
Two super skill sets in 25 years? Can do, if the two share some common roots (Dance and Martial arts)--OK
Three super skill sets in 25 years? My suspended disbelief just got a cramp.

Sex is one of his super skill sets. You describe him as a sex instructor in one place, but the way the character information is done, he comes off as someone who is sexually curious (nothing wrong there) but slightly "reticent" as far as sexual exploration goes. Something here doesn't ring entirely true. You can be softspoken and be the world's greatest student of say, Tantric sex. It's seldom a subject that comes up over tea. But there does come a point where if you hold back on certain skills because you're a bit of a "shrinking violet", how can you teach the skills to others, let alone Master them by having leaned them from others? It goes back to maturity and mindset. I think he's reached the skill level where he'd be able to simply touch someone and cause them to orgasm (Ever see "Remo Williams-The Adventure Begins"? Rent it and watch Chun use "lesson 36" on Kate (Janeway) Mulgrew, and you'll get what I mean.) Someone with this level of accomplishment in intimate skills would not have the slightest problem taking off their clothes and diving into pleasure when a situation called for it. This doesn't mean they have to be a slut, but there ought to be no reluctance at all (given a certain situation) to use what you know than there would be for any other skill set. Masters have an air about them, as do most people who have been made more than competent by repeated application of skills.
Now you can be a sexual master and still get "tongue-tied" around a pretty face or body, but it isn't quite the same thing as described.<<


I plan on working more with the character, doing illustrations for events, drawing memes, roleplaying etc. So the character IS going to have opportunities to develop beyond the wall of text on this sheet.

>> Great! He's going to a load of work to play, (if he's to be played well, that is) but it would be fun!<<

The sheets themselves are meant as an RP aid. When you're in the chatrooms talking with a person, you can click over to their page, read for a couple minutes and have a good idea of where the RP might go based on your partner's history without having to spend half the time out of character asking the player questions and fumbling around in the dark. <<

>> The Art of interactive storytelling (Role Playing, if you will) is a fine skill in and of itself. You can read the "information wall" (nice turn of phrase there) and "Know" all this stuff about the character in a few seconds of "real" time within your storytelling environment (chatroom or whatever) but the Art of the Character is, (as always) how his skills are revealed, when and how they are used. ("applied" Might be a better word.) Like I said before. You have a super character here who could waltz thru a working blast furnace just to light up a cigarette. (Not that he would ever be stupid enough to smoke, I hope!)

James Bond is a good example. He's a master spy. Super skills up the wazoo. But being Bond doesn't mean you pull a Q-Branch gadget out of your backside every time you need to work thru a spot of trouble. The key to Bond and loads of other "super competent" heroes is understatement, not overstatement.

When we hear "Bond, James Bond." or "Vodka martini, shaken not stirred." the audience knows pretty well who and what is up ahead.

Getting an audience to the point where they can see or hear your character, and know what to expect takes time and work. Don't be in such a blind rush to avoid the occasional bit of "fumbling in the dark" as you say, as long as the answers to these and other questions help you reveal(a bit at a time) and (hopefully) polish the skills your character has. It all goes back to the fact that well done exposition takes time. When you have an audience, you just have to make darn sure it isn't "nap time" for them.<<

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to RociStone [2012-04-25 14:38:45 +0000 UTC]

Okay, in response to your first suggestion about getting the club to change their forms, I don't think that's going to fly. The club is already open and dozens of people have already got characters drawn out and set up with the current one, and honestly I think it works fine. It's functional and offers enough space to get ideas about a character from a glance, as well as to have a few detailed drawings.

Secondly, if you read the character history, his race ages very differently from humans. He grew rapidly in his first year until he was about the size of a ten year old and stayed there for approximately two decades. The majority of the acquisition of a person's basic and most important skill sets are developed during pre-pubescence, giving Shin adequate reason for having developed two complex skill sets to mastery in ten years apiece rather than the normal twenty it takes a mature adult. That leaves another ten years after reaching sexual maturity to learn about and experiment with sex, not to mention that he was in an environment which fostered instruction in the subject - something most people don't get.

I do know the plot to Swan Lake. It's one of the more interesting ballets because the plot changes every time it's performed, actually. It's been told from countless different characters' perspectives, the twist ending altered etc. If you're interested, I recommend the anime Princess Tutu or the movie Black Swan, both of which follow the main story of Swan Lake and have very different takes on it following the tradition of the original ballet. I've taken nine different forms of martial arts over ten years, including aikido, jiujitsu and western martial arts like fencing so I don't need to buff my knowledge in that department either. And if I did, I could just pop over to wikipedia or youtube and find enough material to stumble my way through a roleplay. But like I said, I picked a job with which I am familiar. I'm also 26 years old and have done quite a bit of reading lately on geisha and the Japanese view of prostitutes and their training, which is relevant to the character. I'm prepared to use the character and make him seem knowledgeable in all three subjects even to the most scrutinous eye. Don't worry about me getting pulled aside by some aikido master such as yourself and being told that my knowledge of the subject is inadequate.

In any case, I don't think that most people are going to read all of it, or even if they do, that they'll remember everything. There will be plenty to reveal, and individual stories of his lifetime of adventures to tell

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

L0rd-Black [2012-04-18 14:24:07 +0000 UTC]

Wohooo... ^^
Ballet tights FTW! So cute... :3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to L0rd-Black [2012-04-18 22:45:41 +0000 UTC]

Haha I thought so too. Thanks

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

L0rd-Black In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 08:01:44 +0000 UTC]

^^

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

MasterCheifn [2012-04-18 14:13:28 +0000 UTC]

oh mai, you did a great job on him ovo Everything looks good, we shall let you know if you placed or not after we're done judging! >u👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-18 22:46:30 +0000 UTC]

awesome! I'm going to be doing a little more work on it in response to someone's lengthy critique so keep an eye out, and if you see anything that ought to be changed just give me a heads up when you guys have a chance to review it. Thanks ~ n.n

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasterCheifn In reply to Aogami [2012-04-18 23:38:10 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, i read that critique, and i disagree witht the writer on several points, but i think its because im more description based. At any rate, i look forward to seeing what you do!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-19 00:09:50 +0000 UTC]

Well it can't hurt to put in some more descriptive drawings and such anyways

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasterCheifn In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 01:03:12 +0000 UTC]

No, it can't. I just got rubbed the wrong way because he seemed to imply that you can't have a good character sheet without descriptive drawings. But then again, I might be misinterpreting.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-19 01:21:55 +0000 UTC]

Haha I think part of my problem was that I intended to do other works with the character, and this one was merely intended as a reference xD but if you refresh the page I've added some other stuff to it now

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasterCheifn In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 01:41:40 +0000 UTC]

Ah, well that kinda makes sense. I usually just do my character app as a reference. I love the additions though, and your character as a whole X3

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-19 05:21:44 +0000 UTC]

Heheh I'm sure you can't tell me anything about the voting for who gets in or anything but I hope I have yours xD

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasterCheifn In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 05:28:44 +0000 UTC]

I can't, but you are a strong candidate.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-19 16:11:12 +0000 UTC]

xD I can't wait to see the other staff and members ~ even if I don't make it hopefully I'll be able to participate as a player

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

MasterCheifn In reply to Aogami [2012-04-19 16:22:06 +0000 UTC]

Come on into the chat anytime! It's a bit bare at the moment, but it's always worth checking up on. You can create a pet character as well, if you so desire :'D

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Aogami In reply to MasterCheifn [2012-04-19 16:49:37 +0000 UTC]

I believe I shall

👍: 0 ⏩: 0