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ArchiCrash — The Many Women of Deathstalker
Published: 2011-08-16 14:45:29 +0000 UTC; Views: 1081; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 8
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Presenting a collection of characters from the old sword and sorcery flick: 'Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell'!...A very poorly named movie, if you ask me. There were some ressurected soldiers in the movie, so it could justify the 'warriors from hell' bit. But the 'deathstalker' part... Not so much. The movie's hero never actually stalked death. Never stalked much of anything, really. He spent more time running from events rather than moving towards them. Mostly, he just stumbled into women, and then made lazy, half-hearted passes at them. And he stumbled into a lot of women, so there were a lot of lazy, half-hearted passes in that movie....
I was introduced to 'Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell' by Mystery Science Theater 3000. For all those others who saw it the same way, riff away my friends!
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Comments: 31
Deathstalker 2 is my favorite of the series!
I saw it when it came out on VHS and I got it when it came out on DVD.
It's what inspired me to create "The GATH Chronicles".
I just wish they created a fifth film.
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That's the one that's closest to being a quality film, right?
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This douchebag gets a dozen sexy women. I spend Saturday night watching Mr. Bean and eating chocolate chip cookies. It just isn't fair.
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I feel ya, man. I feel ya...
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*bad guy gets stabed, explodes, falls off castle, weird digital fade-away*
"TRON!?!"
To this day, I still haven't figured out what the hell that was suppose to be.
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Uh, I couldn't say for sure, either, but it could be a reference to the old live-action Disney movie 'Tron'. I'm not overly familiar with the movie, but the name at least fits....
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Oh, I know about TRON; I mean I don't get why the hell the guy digitized at the end of the movie!?
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...Probably that was the most 'advanced' special effect the movie could afford...
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...Because its a bad movie. You should really just relax.
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Y'know.....I don't think I could say for sure just which girl they were referring to with that line. Most of the chicks were, shall we say, less than ideal...
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Heh. One of the few bright spots of the moive...
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Hmm, he's surrounded by ladies... it's no wonder he looks more happy about it than the ladies do
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Yeah, he had a way of enjoying things...While annoying those around him...
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Deathstalker: I wish I was the kind of guy that could kill a woman.
Mike: Instead I just repulse them.
This was just a dumb movie. What was more painful was how this loser kept saying how he was a great adventurer engaged in fighting evil, rescuing princesses, getting rewarded, etc...
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Well, a lot of women around him tended to die? Does that count as killing them?
...Yeah, its best when a movie shows us the hero being good, rather than letting the hero brag about how good he's been. Otherwise, well, you end up with this...
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Well, most of the lasses had pretty tall hair... Other than that, though, I think the heights just happened to be whatever felt right when I was blocking out the bodies...
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"Okay, we've seen his crotch, his pits, up his nose, in his mouth, WHAT'S LEFT?"
"This movie is like playing Doom when there's no monsters or opponents."
Fun Fact: As Crow guessed, this movie is indeed a sequel. It's the third Deathstalker film, and is considered the worst by people who've seen all four. I've heard that the second is the best; kind of like Army of Darkness on a lower budget.
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Yeah, I'd heard about this being a series too. I think it was brought up in the context of them being more exploitation/cheesecake than actual sword-and-sorcery... Kind of a pity we didn't get the whole set, though. I really enjoyed franchise-episodes. More chances for running gags!
...And, hey, at least the 'hero' was decently dressed during most of the close-ups. Unlike the many unpleasant views we got of Cabbot and his sidekick in 'Outlaw' *shudder*
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Considering Deathstalker changes actors every flick, I think they'd have a good jumping off point for running jokes.
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....Really? They couldn't even keep the same actor? That is just hilarious! Yeah, a joke of a franchise like that would have made for some great episodes!
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Of course, they would have to be censored heavily. Being low-budget, independent fantasy films, they had lots of violence and nudity. I think Deathstalker 3 was chosen because it had the least of each.
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