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I thought I was ok, you know? I could pretend like I don't love her and like it doesn't hurt to not hold her like I used to. And I could pretend that I didn't want to kiss her.

But as soon as anyone else touched her it hurt, and it hurt really bad but i was ok, I wouldn't cry over it... but last night... We were all caught up in so much drama and I just wanted to go home and when we were saying goodbye she kissed the top of my head and I just started sobbing uncontrollably...

I couldn't stop and I couldn't stand up.... and i kept saying 'god damn you' and 'why did you do that' and she didn't understand what I was talking about and we left like that and I think she's hurt and I'm just... I donno anymore...

I've never cried like that. I stood there and I heard crying but i didn't know it was me. I was numb and it wasn't until i wondered where I was and who was crying that i realized it was me.... and then I couldn't breathe right and it hurt so bad...

Kit and Kayla where there, they watched me cry but no one knows why I was crying.... and they weren't getting that I wasn't upset that Beamer was going with them to the arcade.... I just can't have that anymore... not if we can't be together... I can't have those small bits of intimacy...

Description
I thought I was ok, you know? I could pretend like I don't love her and like it doesn't hurt to not hold her like I used to. And I could pretend that I didn't want to kiss her.

But as soon as anyone else touched her it hurt, and it hurt really bad but i was ok, I wouldn't cry over it... but last night... We were all caught up in so much drama and I just wanted to go home and when we were saying goodbye she kissed the top of my head and I just started sobbing uncontrollably...

I couldn't stop and I couldn't stand up.... and i kept saying 'god damn you' and 'why did you do that' and she didn't understand what I was talking about and we left like that and I think she's hurt and I'm just... I donno anymore...

I've never cried like that. I stood there and I heard crying but i didn't know it was me. I was numb and it wasn't until i wondered where I was and who was crying that i realized it was me.... and then I couldn't breathe right and it hurt so bad...

Kit and Kayla where there, they watched me cry but no one knows why I was crying.... and they weren't getting that I wasn't upset that Beamer was going with them to the arcade.... I just can't have that anymore... not if we can't be together... I can't have those small bits of intimacy...