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athenastar17 — KH -- Never Have I Ever
Published: 2006-07-14 04:45:37 +0000 UTC; Views: 1915; Favourites: 23; Downloads: 6
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Never Have I Everby Kaori Raven
“I have an idea,” Demyx said. He waited until all eyes were on him, and then cheerfully presented, “Let’s play Never Have I Ever!”
The other twelve stared blankly for a moment. Then, Roxas piped up, “Uh...what’s that?”
“You’ve never played Never Have I Ever?” Demyx looked slightly taken back. “Well, it’s...” He looked around and stretched his back to wrap his fingertips around another beer from the cooler a few meters behind him. “It’s when you say...‘Never have I ever’...and then you say something you’ve never done.” He straightened up with the bottle in his hand, staring at it intently as though it could save him from embarrassment. “And then the other people...well...if they have done what that person said, they lose a point. And you win if you’re the last person with any points.”
The others thought about it. Zexion raised a hand slightly. “How many points do you get?”
Demyx’s face twisted for a second, and then lit up. “Oh, yeah! Same as the number of fingers you have! It’s...” He started to count up the number of fingers he had...
“Ten?” Roxas offered.
“Yeah! That’s it!” The blonde grinned.
“Now, that isn’t fair,” Vexen protested.
“Aww, what’s your problem, old man?” Axel shot at him. “It sounds like it’ll be fun.”
Demyx beamed at him.
“I don’t deny it. But you, wet-behind-the-ears little whelp, neglect to take into account all the variables.”
“Everything’s a science with you, isn’t it you grey ugly bastard?!”
“Silence,” Xemnas ordered. “You two break into a fight and I’m raping both your asses.” When they had quieted, (and he didn’t have to wait long at all,) he motioned for Vexen to continue.
Vexen sighed and pulled off his left glove. Immediately, he was met with gasps and yelps.
“So that’s why...you have a shield instead of an actual weapon...?” Roxas asked hesitantly.
“Yes, in fact, it is.”
~~~
Vexen looked out at the Darksides and the two friends. A mouse and a teenager who already had grey hair...he never thought he’d see the day. Although he’d managed to sneak through the door in the flash of light, he wasn’t eager to reveal himself to these newcomers...especially now that the door was closed...especially now that the Darksides fell to their knees before the small, but mighty warriors...
“Ya think Sora and his pals’ll be alright?” the mouse asked his companion.
“Your Majesty!” the teen replied quickly with a look of surprise on his face. “Was there ever a doubt? Sora may look like a total sissy man, but he’s stronger than both of us.”
“I guesso. I can’t help thinkin’ that there’s gonna be trouble ahead, though.”
“Whatever. We can take anything on.”
“Pride comes before the fall,” Vexen muttered to himself, and stood.
The mouse saw him immediately, drawing the infamous keyblade once more. “Who’s there?”
At his cry, the boy also drew his sword—a rather odd shape, Vexen thought, like a demon’s wing—and shot into battle stance. Vexen merely laughed, floating down to their level. “I am no one of importance. You must be Riku and the king...I have heard much about the both of you.”
“Are you looking for a fight?!”
Vexen turned to Riku. “Children are meant to be seen and not heard.” He shot the loudmouthed teen a bird.
A split second later, Riku dashed towards him, then before he knew it, past him, a warm pain coming from his left hand. A sickening “plop” on the floor told him he had lost something...
~~~
Almost the entirety of the Organization roared with laughter.
“He sliced off your birdie finger?!” Xigbar’s question seemed to be more of a statement...
Vexen sighed and continued, eager to get on with the game and out of the spotlight. “So, as you see, I am at a slight disadvantage.”
“I’ll take out that old whiteboard in the closet and we can use tally marks instead...” Xaldin offered, rising and moving to a door in the corner.
When the whiteboard and markers were set up and everyone (except Roxas) had gotten a fresh beer, Axel declared, grinning broadly, “I’m going first, losers.” He resituated himself and began, “Never have I ever lost my middle finger when I was flicking someone off...”
“That was coooold!!!”
“That was so obvious, Axel!”
“You’re the loser!”
Despite all this, however, Axel remained silent, smiling—or, rather, smirking—but not uttering a sound. Vexen erased one of his tallies.
“Oh!! My turn!” Demyx giggled excitedly. “Never have I ever...um...um...OH! Never have I ever...invited prostitutes over for a party!!”
Xemnas, Saix, Xaldin, Xigbar, Marluxia, and Luxord looked around at each other...
~~~
Vexen, Lexaeus, Larxene, and Zexion had not returned. Axel was a traitor. Roxas...well. Demyx was doing his business with Sora in the Coliseum. The others decided one day...
“Hey, let’s throw a party,” Xemnas said.
(In case anyone may be wondering, he did say this often.)
The others dared not—or, rather, really didn’t care—to argue. Xaldin went out to get the alcohol, Marluxia to get the decorations, Luxord to get the cards and chips, Xigbar to get the video games, Saix to get the music. When they returned and everything was set up, they started their little party. But something was missing.
“Ahhh, it’s just not doing it. What’s the matter with us?” Xigbar complained.
Saix suggested, “Perhaps we’re missing too much of the Organization?”
Xemnas agreed. “That’s right...Axel was always the life of the party...Lexaeus made a great bouncer, whether we needed one or not...Vexen made a great whiner about getting back to his studies...Demyx was the best dancer by far...Roxas was the innocent one...and Larxene was...” He thought about it for a moment. “Ahh, Larxene was just a whore.”
They all nodded in agreement. Then, Xigbar’s face lit up. “A whore!! That’s what we need!”
“A whore? How about one for each of us?” Marluxia argued.
“One to replace whoever’s gone,” Saix corrected.
“Of course!” Xemnas chimed in.
“Oh, I know just the place!” Luxord declared. “Stand back. Where’s the phone?”
The others watched intently as the gambler picked up the receiver.
“Uh...yes, I’d like two...no, three blondes...two brunettes...a redhead...and, uh...got a lass with spiky white hair? Name’s what, love? Paine? Oh, yes...that’ll do just fine.... What’s that? Oh, yes, I would like to super-size my order. Fries? Hey!” He shouted to the others. “Do you lads want fries with that?”
“Extra salt!” Xigbar called.
“You heard ‘im! Extra salt!! Make it snappy—we’re hungry for some love!”
~~~
Thus, six tallies left the board.
“I guess I’m next, eh?” Luxord resituated himself and said, “Never have I ever...ah...let’s see...what haven’t I done? Ah. Never have I ever worked in a laboratory.”
Curses across the room. The first six members wiped off a tally.
“Your turn, love,” he said, turning to Marluxia.
“Let’s see...” He thought hard. “Never have I ever...remained loyal to the Organization.”
“Oooohhh, now you’ve done it, you little manwhore!!”
“Can I kill him?!”
“Why are you even at this party?!”
Roxas grinned. “I get off easy. And so does Axel. We’re not complaining!”
“Me too!” Larxene chimed in.
“You never betrayed Organization XIII!” Maluxia argued.
“Oh, yes I have.” She ran her fingers through her hair. “Or didn’t you notice I was working with you in Castle Oblivion?”
“She has a point,” Roxas admitted.
“Fine.”
Nine tallies.
“That would make it my turn, wouldn’t it?” The nymph giggled. “Never have I ever...crushed on any man.”
Axel and Roxas flushed, as well as Demyx, Marluxia, Xemnas, Saix, Xigbar, Luxord, Zexion, and Lexaeus.
“Oooohhh! So many of you are so deliciously gay!”
“Don’t even talk! You’re a lesbian! That’s not fair!” Roxas protested.
“It’s perfectly fair. So much for having a perfect score, Rokusasu!” She gave him a seductive wink.
Ten tallies.
“Don’t think you’re off the hook, Larxene! It’s my turn now.” He glared at her. Roxas took a deep breath, thought, and then declared proudly, “Never have I ever made a girl do anything against her will.”
“Oh, snap!”
“Got me on that one...”
Axel nodded proudly. “Right on, Roxas!”
“Sorry, Axel,” the blonde answered. “Remember Kairi?”
Axel’s grin faded in an instant.
“Ooohhh, you’re gonna get it for that!” Larxene swore.
Larxene, Marluxia, Saix, Vexen, Xemnas, Xaldin, Zexion, Lexaeus, and Axel lost a point.
Xemnas cut in quickly. “I’m going next. Never...have I ever...dyed my hair.”
Axel, Demyx, Marluxia, Larxene, and Xigbar swore. Luxord hesitated...
“Your hair is dyed?” Roxas asked the gambler.
“Well...you’d never believe this, but...”
~~~
A young, long-haired brunette man sat at a table across from a blonde scholar with golden eyes. Although the table was dimly lit, they could sufficiently see the stacked chips and the cards in their hands. They discarded, drew. Discarded, drew. And then...they were ready.
“Dulor, Dulor...” The scholar sighed. “You play the game well, but this time, I’m afraid you lose.”
Dulor smirked. “Is that so, Doctor Ansem? I think you make a better scientist than a gambler, man. I’ve got a bloody good hand here.”
“What are our stakes, then?” the doctor inquired.
Dulor thought about it. “Well...why don’t we say...if I win, I want a night with that dashing apprentice of yours...Xehanort, was it?”
Ansem nodded. “Very well. But if I win...” He grinned. “You cut your hair to look exactly like mine.”
“What?!” Dulor was shocked. “Surely not...the colour as well...?”
“Yes, the color. And the beard.”
“The beard?! You’ve gone postal, man!”
“Do you doubt your ‘bloody good hand,’ Dulor?”
“Of course not!” Dulor shifted nervously. “Well. Here it is.” He laid down his cards. “A full house! Beat that!”
Ansem merely grinned.
~~~
“A royal flush?!” Roxas half gasped. He wasn’t a gambler, but even he knew what that was.
“Yes, a bloody royal flush! But as it turns out, I came to rather like the mop, and after a little tweaking, love it.”
“But you don’t love it now, do you?” Axel asked.
“Shutup, ginger!!”
“But...Axel...” Roxas turned to his best friend. “You said you dyed it...I thought you had naturally red hair...”
“I do,” he insisted. “I tried to dye it black.”
“Oh! I see...”
Six tallies gone.
“I’m goin’ now,” Xigbar said. “Never have I ever looked out of my right eye since becoming a nobody.”
“Cheap!”
“Damn you, Xigbar!”
Xigbar just laughed at the rest of them as twelve tallies left the board.
Xaldin was next, who decided to play a game of elimination. “Never have I ever created a replica of Riku.”
Vexen swore and took off a tally.
When Vexen came back, he sat and thought about it for a minute, then smirked. “Never have I ever laughed at or made fun of science.”
More swearing. Xigbar, Axel, Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, Larxene, and Roxas lost a point.
“Your turn, Lexaeus,” Zexion said.
“Never...” He looked up, admiring the patterns on the ceiling. “...have I ever broken a bone.”
“Never?!”
“I know you’re strong, but that’s impossible...”
“You’re serious?!”
“You must drink a whole lot of milk...”
Xemnas pondered this. Although he was the most powerful in the Organization...
~~~
Wine, candles, red satin sheets. It was all ready. Saix would be there at any moment. What a wonderful thought! Visions of him spun about Xemnas’s mind, him in his cloak, out of his cloak, into his arms. His ocean blue hair and soft, poisonous touch. Xemnas could hardly contain himself any longer...
Saix waltzed into the room, his cloak already unzipped. “My Superior...my master...do with me as your body desires,” he whispered, coming closer to Xehanort’s nobody. Within moments, there was no more need for the cloaks, or the gloves, or the boots, or...anything else, really.
Deep, consumed in their wonderland, they paid attention to nothing else. Only one another...only the heat and the pleasure they had unleashed. Lovely, luscious, livid, lucid, growing, gaining, gawking, gorging, devious desires delving into darkness, straining, sizzling, searing, suffocating—!
“Xemnas—”—Saix pleaded between his screams—“I—don’t—not so rough—Xemnas, you’re hurting me!—It’s too much!—”
But Xemnas ignored him. He was only faintly aware of a pain running through his own limbs. He was focused on the feeling, the high...
His thoughts were broken by a sickening crack.
...Perhaps it was a bit too strenuous...
~~~
Xemnas decided it might be best to keep this to himself as he erased a tally, and none of his loyal subjects dared to ask (except Saix, but he, of course, knew, so didn’t ask). The other 11 followed suit, erasing away their own points.
Zexion sighed. “I suppose I go next?” He considered how he could knock down the greatest number of his opponents. “Never have I ever had a seventeenth birthday.”
Silence.
“Yeah you have,” Axel stated firmly.
“No, I haven’t,” Zexion insisted.
“Yes you have!” Luxord argued. “You have to be older than sixteen, lad!”
“I’m not.”
Utter disbelief stilled their tongues. Xemnas broke the silence with, “It’s true. He joined Ansem the Wise when he was...what? Fifteen? Fourteen?”
“You’re kidding,” Larxene muttered.
“Everyone except Roxas needs to take off a point, if I’m not mistaken,” Zexion pointed out.
Which they did.
“Alright,” Saix said. “Never have I ever...used a thunder spell.”
“Bastard,” Larxene snapped, but took off a point.
“Hehe...my turn again.” Axel giggled maliciously. “Never have I ever had to read my orders off a notecard.”
“Heyyy!!! I could barely even read it!! That’s meeeeaaann!!!” Demyx whined, but took off a point. “Never have I ever...met Ansem the Wise!”
“Never?” Xemnas seemed confused for a moment, but then sighed. “I suppose you wouldn’t have...”
“That sucks,” Axel complained.
Roxas, Axel, and the six originals erased a mark.
Luxord continued, “Never have I ever loved someone illegally.”
Lexaeus looked away...
~~~
Elaeus knew from the moment Ansem brought him to the lab what was happening to him.
Such a scrawny, pale thing...followed by Aeris and Leon, he looked so fragile...so easily broken. So thin, malnourished. As though he had been through some unknown torment. At this point, his age was obvious. He couldn’t have been fifteen yet. Poor, poor child!
Ansem led them to a blackboard where he had written all his various formulas, written and scratched out and rewritten and erased and written again. He was explaining to Leon what he was trying to figure out, how he just couldn’t put a finger on it. How it so easily escaped him, and yet, the answer should have been simple. He explained what the formula was, and then, the child said something shocking.
“It’s wrong.”
Leon scolded him and asked Ansem to pardon him. To question the very foundations on which their great leader based his work! How preposterous! How rude! Ansem, however, being wise as he was, stared the formula down, carefully considering it.
“My God,” he whispered. “You’re right.”
From that day forward, little Ienzo was apprenticed to Ansem. From that day, Elaeus had asked his superior—as a personal favor—that he might guard, guide, and protect young Ienzo. From that day, he realized just how brilliant the boy was. From that day, he smiled more, he grew stronger, he even worked up the courage to persuade Ansem to expand their research into the matters of the heart...
“You’re in love with me aren’t you?” Ienzo asked him one day.
“Why...why do you ask?” Elaeus answered sheepishly.
“I’m only fifteen, and you know that...but still, you love me...it’s a little obvious.” He smiled. “Will you be there for me? Always?”
Elaeus didn’t have to think. “I will guard you to the very last. I swear it to you.”
~~~
Lexaeus removed a point, saying nothing. But Lexaeus was never very good at keeping secrets. It was so obvious that most of the others understood.
“Uh-oh,” Marluxia said. “Xemnas...Xigbar...Vexen...only one point left! I think I’ll spare you for now...or...no, I changed my mind. Never have I ever been the Superior of Organization XIII.”
Xemnas swore; he was most definitely out.
“You’re coming to my room tonight for that, Marluxia.”
“I’m sure I am, dearest Superior.”
Larxene smirked. “Never have I ever used weapons I didn’t touch.”
Xaldin removed a point and lost the game. “You are a harlot indeed!”
“Why thank you, lover!”
Roxas thought about that. “Lover...” he muttered. “Never have I ever...slept with Xemnas.”
The room, once again went silent.
“Damn!”
“That’s...geez.”
“How can you wipe out—”
“Huh?” Roxas was dumbfounded. “You mean you’ve ALL slept with him?!”
Axel sighed and looked away. “Yeah...”
Roxas was more than disappointed to see Axel’s point disappear. Axel didn’t belong to Xemnas...he had no right to do that...no right! Axel...he had wanted Axel to belong to him...to him alone...but there would always be Xemnas now. How he despised the fact! How he wanted to tear that smirk off Xemnas’s face...
~~~
Yet another night, yet another party. Alcohol passed all over the place. Xemnas and Saix in their happy place. Everyone on a high. Going out of control.
Roxas turned to Axel and said quickly, “Let’s get out of here.”
Axel smiled. He was never one to argue with his beloved, so he scooped him up into his arms and carried him outside to the tallest tower. “My darling, darling Roxas,” he sang softly.
“You’re queer,” came Roxas’s curt reply.
“Only for you, Roxas.”
Only for you, he said!
Axel laid him down against the wall, allowing the blonde to lean on him. The night was clear, Kingdom Hearts shone with an unmatched radiance. Roxas rested peacefully in his arms, gazing up into the sky. The cool night air brushed his cheek softly...just as soft lips touched his.
At first, he was shocked, but as Axel showed him more and more how much he adored him, he gave in and showed him the same. What rapture one can feel in a single kiss...they didn’t need the sex or the drugs or Kingdom Hearts...all they needed was one another.
“Do you love me, Axel...?”
“Always...”
“Just me...?”
“There’s never been anyone else...”
Listen to him! Listen to him lie!
“No one else?”
No more!! No more lies...what a traitor! Bastard!!
“I swear, you’re the only one...the only one...”
...The only one...how could you?!
~~~
Lexaeus, being naturally kind-hearted, noticed his distress and immediately cut off his thoughts. “Never have I ever fought with more than two weapons.”
Larxene growled at him. Luxord let out a moan, saying, “Oh, damn you! Damn you! Damn you!” and lost.
Zexion was next. “Never have I ever forced someone to rewrite their own heart.”
Larxene swore at him. “What is this?! Elimination?!”
“Yes,” Saix answered. “No one likes you, and you know it. You don’t care.”
“You’re right...I don’t.” She sighed, knowing the end was near. “Go on...”
“I will,” he agreed. “Never have I ever styled my hair to have antennae.”
Even Roxas had to laugh at her, even in all his emo-ness. Revenge was sweet, after all. However, Axel remained still silent.
“Why so quiet, Aku?” Demyx asked.
“Well, I’ll tell you why,” he answered, a smug look on his face, quite oblivious of his beloved’s bad mood. “Never have I ever burst out laughing while playing Never Have I Ever.”
Demyx looked as though he might cry. Marluxia took a rose to his breast and laid down dead. The rest lost points, except for Lexaeus, who was far too quiet for such things.
Roxas sighed. “Never...have I ever....” He faltered...he just had lost the will to play anymore, even with the demise of Larxene and Marluxia and all the others. “I’ll pass this turn,” he muttered.
Lexaeus looked to the boy tenderly. “Demyx, can you say something you have, in fact done, and lose a point?”
“Um...yeah, I guess. But, Lexaeus! You only have one point!”
“I know, but this is needed.” He made very sure Roxas was listening. “Never have I ever...been raped by Xemnas.”
Roxas looked up at him, astonished, but confused.
“Oh...Lexaeus. I am defeated,” Zexion sighed.
Saix hesitated. “It was at first. I must withdraw.”
But Roxas didn’t hear these. All he heeded was the last.
“Guess I’m done for,” Axel said, “With a capital ‘D.’”
“Raped?” Roxas had tears in his eyes. “Axel...”
“Huh?” The ginger looked up, his emerald eyes alight in confusion. “Yeah...you didn’t know?”
“How could I have known?! All you said was that you had slept with him and I thought...you said I was the only one! And I thought you had lied to me! Oh, Axel...”
“I would never lie to you, Roxas! That’s just something Xemnas does. You can ask the oth—”
Axel was presently glomped and kissed. Passionately.
Demyx applauded, hooting and hollering included, a wide grin on his face. Xemnas wasn’t pleased, but was far too drunk to care much about punishing them. Lexaeus beamed; he had really made a difference to Roxas, and that meant the world to him—it almost made him feel as though he had a heart.
However, well as all that may have been, Axel must be Axel. He allowed his hands to wander just a little too far below the pant line and...
SLAP!
“Axel, you pervert! I’ll kill you!” Roxas drew both keyblades.
“Aww, shit!”
Axel leapt to his feet and sprinted, as fast as his legs could rescue him, while his “beloved” chased after him, fuming, Oathkeeper in one hand and Oblivion in the other. When they circled around, however, Roxas rounded on the “Superior.”
“You! You raped my Akuseru, you fucking bastard!”
Before Xemnas knew what was going on (for he was far too drunk to know immediately), he was out cold. With a nasty lump on his head. Make that several nasty lumps.
After taking a good minute or so to bask in his triumph, Roxas moaned to his lover, “Akuseru~~~! Let’s go hooome!!”
“Of course, dearest!” Axel complied, scooping him up in his arms. “We’ll see you losers later. Great game, by the way, Demyx!”
Demyx beamed as they made their exit.
“Well...” Lexaeus breathed, “All’s well that ends well, as they say.”
“Too true,” Marluxia agreed.
Silence.
...
Luxord turned to the others. “Hey, who wants to order some hookers, loves?”
~fin~
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Comments: 26
I love this!!!!!! I'm gonna play this game with my friends!!!!!
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OMG! i read this thing like, five times and thought it was so funny EVERYTIME!!! Great work~
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XDXDXDXD omg!! i literaly loled hahhaha oh i swear i have a six-pack right now
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well....um....damn... i can't think of a good comment....this was.....awsome!?
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Awesome!! I love that game. but the people i play with do so much we have to play it backwards. You add a finger instead of losing one. One person got up to 43 before we stopped the game.
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that is so awesome 
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Thanks so much~
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no,really!its sooooo funni.
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hehe well, really! I'm glad you liked it! 
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I really did miss some good stuffs. XD
I love the end. ^^
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However, well as all that may have been, Axel must be Axel. He allowed his hands to wander just a little too far below the pant line and...
SLAP!
“Axel, you pervert! I’ll kill you!” Roxas drew both keyblades.
“Aww, shit!”
oh god I'm still laughing too hard XDDDDDDDDDDD
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OMFG. That's hillarous.
And speaking in character:
I would do that Xemnas. Beat his brains out I mean. Cut off his balls.
Ahem.
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LOLLLZZ thank you~!
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