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Autumn-Sacura — Nomads - 06
Published: 2007-09-19 04:10:07 +0000 UTC; Views: 3288; Favourites: 46; Downloads: 60
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EDIT: I replased file with more clean, betaed by ThanatosGear. Maybe I'll add more soon.Alas, my beta-reader can't help me anymore... I was too lazy to search new one, and I decided - now anyone can be beta-reader! Just read the page and find mistakes or mispellings. And I'll be fix them eventually.
This page mostly fight scene. I actually love fights more than romantic scenes, so be sure - my next manga will be 90% fight scene ^__^
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Comments: 28
Sakura? Have you stoped posting on fanartcentral? I should have looked for a notice or something but now I am happy! I couldn't wait to read more of your "Nomads"...Wonderful job as always!<3
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Yeah, sorry... I stoped to post there because I have no time now to manage two galleries.
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That's okay! Sorry for the late reply!
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Nice action shots! I love this!! Keep it up!
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I'll beta!
When it says "Tell the cheiftan What we came for his head", its a little choppy and unclear. A 'was' between for and his should fix it ^_^
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I'll sum up the whole thing as I, being American, would want to read it:
1: "Tell your chieftain that we came..."
2: "...for his head!"
3: "You are strong, stranger."
"But you'd better give up!" ('You'd' = 'you had;' it's more proper than just 'you'
4:"Hide yourself somewhere!" OR, "Find a place to hide!" (The second version is less formal than the first and might not suit the character.)
"There's someone in the tree!" ('There's' being 'there is'
5: "Hehehe! Feel the wrath of Altan's clan!"
That's what makes the most sense to me. I offer my services as beta reader.
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Wow, thank you for summing up everything ^__^
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Actually, looking at the replacement file I like Thanatos' version even better. Good job, Thanatos!
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Ack...those are not winks! They're ending parentheses! (See, this is how obsessive I am about my own English.)
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You're not bad at fight scenes. I really like the first panel.
I can be your beta.
Anyway, on this page, they should be, "Tell your chieftain...we came for his head!" "You better give up." "There is someone in the tree."
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Ooh! Poor girl, bouncing about unsupported like that...
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Yes, fight scenes rocks! All of the poses looks pretty good, but the first panel with the backward dodge looked more confusing I'll admit - mostly the twist the hips leaded to. I suppose that particular character is extra flexible then? :3
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Hehe, I also noticed that it's anatomy impossible, but, sadly, after I inked it.
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You're not the only one who makes those mistakes. I do it all the time.
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I thought it was something like that - maybe a mixup with which leg is the closest to the camera.
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I love it. I cant find anything wrong that hasn't already been found.
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Ooo....actions!That what attracts the reader~!
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What you had in the first and second panel didn't make sense. You should change it to: "Tell your chieftain, what we came ... for is his head."
Also, in the third panel, you should change it to: "You are strong, stranger! But you better give up!"
Other than that ... this page is wonderful!
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Some says there must be "that" instead "what". Which is better grammar?
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Well, if you meant to word it with the "what" than it should be with the "is" after "for". But either way you put it is correct, it just depends on some of the words you choose.
Arr. It's talk like a pirate day.
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True, either is fine, but for me, the most natural choice is:
"Tell your cheiftain that we came for..."
"His head!"
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either is fine depending on the rest of your sentence. if you added an is after for than what is okay and if you leave your current wording it should be that.
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lol, I love this comic so far ^.^
First panel "Tell your chieftan that we came..."
And third panel "There is someone in the tree!"
Sorry if somebody's already pointed those two out.
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