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Autumn-Sacura — Yuzo-06
Published: 2008-05-20 11:48:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 2537; Favourites: 31; Downloads: 60
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Page # 6. So many talks, I guess I nedd your help again ^__^"He-Goo" - joke nickname which Yuzo gave to Higu. The only time, when English version sounds better than Russian ^__^
About Chan-Lang - it will be explained later.
Russian:
Юзо: Хигу, помнишь о чем мы говорили недавно?
Хигу: О Вашем планируемом побеге в мир Смертных, Мастер?
Хигу: Но Вы понимаете, что после событий в Чан-Лань. остальные Бессмертные попытаются остановить Вас?
Юзо: Ага. Лучше скажи, ты нашел способ, чтобы я смог снова стать смертным?
Хигу: Можно лишиться бессмертия, совершив непростительное преступление: убийство, изнасилование…
Юзо: Заткнись, Хи-гуу! Я что, похож на негодяя?
Хигу: Как насчет святотатства? Разрушить храм или…
Юзо: Отлично, то, что нужно! Идем!
Хигу: Я так и знал, что он выберет это…
Кибелла: Куда это Вы собрались, молодой человек.
Юзо: Ох, китайская ж… Кибелла?
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Comments: 9
Things are starting to get interesting! My translation:
----------
Panel 1:
Yuzo - "Higu, you remember what we've been talking about?"
Higu - "About your planned escape int othe world of mortals, master?"
Panel 2:
Higu - "You do realize after the Chan-Lang incident, the other Immortals will try to stop you?"
Yuzo - "I know. So did you find a way to make me mortal again?"
Panel 3:
Higu - "You can lose immortality committing an inexcusable crime--murder, rape..."
Yuzo - "SHUT UP, He-Goo! Do I look like a sadist?!" ['Scoundrel' loses its impact in English.]
Panel 4:
"Then how about a sacrilege? Destroy the temple, or..."
Panel 5:
Yuzo - This part is fine.
Higu - "Somehow I knew he'd choose that." [NOTE: This would be more appropriate as a thought balloon.]
Panel 6:
This part is fine.
----------
I'll see if I can manage page 7 tonight; it's getting late and I have school tomorrow.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Thanks. I like how how you make it more fitting English-speaking people ^__^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Some small mistakes.
Yuzo: Higu, do you remember our recent conversation?
Higu: But you should understand, after the Chan-Lang Incident all the other Immortals will try and stop you.
Higu: You can lose your immortality by committing an inexcusable crime, like murder or rape.
Yuzo: Shuddap Hee-goo! Do I look like a scoundrel?!
Higu: How about sacrilege?
That' all I found.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
It's great so far!
A quick error I came across though.
In the sentence, "Than how about a sacrilege?" you should have used the word "then" in place of "than." The word "than" should be used in sentences like: "I'll take the sword rather THAN the lance."
Other than that I didn't see any other errors that no one else brought up already.
Again, good work and I can't wait until the next page. ^.^
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Damn, I forgot about difference between "then" and "than" ^__^ Thanks!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
hahaha the last frame is very funny ^_^ well done! your art is always enjoyable
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
hmm let me try...
Panel 1: Higu, do you remember our recent talk? (conversation would probably work better than talk)
P2: but you should understand, after the chan-lang.....
p3: an inexcusable crime. murder, rape.
Do I look like a scoundrel?
p4: then how about scariledge?
👍: 0 ⏩: 1