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AzeilaRose β Johto Girl Chapter 1 page 4
Published: 2011-03-23 04:26:27 +0000 UTC; Views: 2258; Favourites: 22; Downloads: 0
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Previous: [link] First: [link] Next: Coming Soon!Yay, page four is finally up! I worked really hard on this page. I know it's not perfect, but I think it's my best page yet! Thanks to the wonderful feedback I've received, I've made some changes. First, the boxes are not free-hand anymore. Secondly, the word bubbles and narrative boxes are outlined. Thank you so much for all the helpful feedback I've gotten!
Awww, isn't Meowth cute? It seriously is one of my favorite pokemon.
And now you get to see Kim's parents!
Oh, by the way, this takes place in modern times, but since the people of Arborville live up in trees, I figured that it would be pretty hard to get a dryer and washer machine up in their houses, so they have a village washer-woman! And that woman is Kim's mom!
So guys, what did you think? Comments are loved! Constructive criticism is welcome, however I'm not looking for too strong a critique on this one. Unless something really stands out that I should know about, I'm not too worried. Thank you for understanding.
Would you like me to return the favor? For every comment I get on this, I will go to your gallery and give you a comment as well! If there is something in particular you would like me to comment on, let me know in a note, otherwise I'll just choose on my own! It's my way of saying thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts!
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Comments: 78
He actually doesn't, Kim's gonna have to fight tooth and nail just for her to be able to go. Β There is no way Mamma is loosing her daughter and her kitty in the same day!
But thanks for the comment!Β
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aww, I love the idea of a Johto comic! That's by far one of the best regions, in my opinion. I can't say I've seen something quite like this
The colors you chose and the text font is all so easy on the eyes, and I love the storyline as well. Keep it up
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Haha, yeah. I actually made up this story when I was little, and I'm revising it now that I'm an adult. So of course Jhoto is the way to go, no other regions existed (except for Kanto) at that time. I have a sort of bias.
I'm so glad that you like it. That means a lot to me.
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Oh that's so cool! I love revisiting old ideas and reworking them when you're older. It's like going back in time almost
And you're more than welcome
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your comic/manga is really great! I love the way you're drawing the hair and the clothes <3
I'll continue reading it for shure
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In the original pokemon series, an evil/silly Meowth plays a big role. Toby is a meowth so that's probably what you're thinking of.
Thanks so much!
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I love the way this goes along from pane to pane. I don't even read, watch or play PokΓ©mon but I can't help being excited about the storyline! Can't wait to see more
The backgrounds are great and I've just noticed the amazing texture on that weaving! Lovely work
As I've mentioned before, I love the character consistency you have. The way you make faces unique (I always point out the noses, but the rest of the face too) really helps when you're doing something with multiple panels like this.
P.S. I love Meowth (that's the right name, right?)! He looks so cute
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Awww, wow Itti! That's like the greatest compliment ever!!! You're so sweet!
Thanks so so so much!!!
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I already like the characters, especially the mum!
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Awww, why thank you so much!!! That comment really means a lot to me!
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I hope Kim's mum will appear often in the story! 
If you need any comments or help, let me know
Comments mean a lot to me too
yaaay, you Watch me now!
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Oh, don't worry, she will. And your right, parents don't have big roles in stories. It's a shame really. I always try to keep parents in my stories, even if they have passed away, they appear in thoughts, flashbacks, memories, etc.
I always love comments, so thanks so much for offering! I'm not looking for too much critique these days. I mostly would like to know what people think of my artwork and not what I did wrong, if that makes sense.
Anyway, the same to you! I'm sure we will be friends.
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I don't know why, because in reality they play rather a big role
I can't wait for the next page
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sweet. glad she has a nice mom. and meowth is cute!
too lazy to go back to my inbox, so im gonna reply here.
[link] yes i have my fanfic posted. it's just in story form, not comic. i dont think i have the patience. warning you though, it's looong. the first part, the prolouge, is only six pages, but in part two, the regular story, im at chapter 32 and counting.
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Aww, thanks so much! And I'm excited to read your story as well!
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cool thanks. im gonna attempt to reread it one of these days.
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Hahaha, sounds good!
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I think this is one of your best yet
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Thank you so much! It means so much that someone has faith in me.
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so far so good, ive enjoyed all 4 pages and am awaiting more^^ and i was totaly expecting bulbasaur or something more leaf type but then it was *boom!* meowth XP perfect fit hehehe
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Aww, thank you so much! I'm so happy you like them!
Haha, well, as far as the pokemon goes, Toby (meowth) is her mothers pokemon, not hers. He's more of a family pet. But I do love meowth!
Thanks again for your feedback! It means a lot to me!
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Was looking thought what I could critique haha took me a while to figure I should look at your most recent one
There is improvement from the 1st page XD The backgrounds are nice but a little too flat. You can add slight gradients to remedy that. I like that weaving on the wall on the second panel but it sticks out a bit detail wise.
I don't do much comics so I am not very good at explaining.. the panels feel too rigid. If you look at mangas or western comics, you'll notice that they have part where important panels are bigger or overlapping something. It is like the arrangement of the panels direct your eyes to an important panel.
<.< hope that was helpful
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Thank you for the input.
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Okies, here we go - don't be upset because I can be a demon without knowing it and you can feel free to ignore as much as you please.
I love your palette, first off. It's a mundane scene, so you wisely used more natural colors and didn't make anything too bright or showy. The whole page works as one giant illustration due to this continuity and each panel is a moment of focus in and of itself. I love the colors you do choose to pop - the pinks, golds and aqua blues - because you use them subtly. It's not like "BOOM I'M HERE" and thus stealing away from the rest of the page.
I also like your panel work - there are definable borders to each panel and there's nothing confusing about your panel lay-out. Personally, I would've perhaps made the last panel in the middle row - the one with the portrait - borderless to try and infuse the reader with the emotional impact of a dead dad, but it works even with the border because it's like she's saying, "Yeah, he was there, now he's not, but I'm used to it by now." However, not every page has to have emotional impact and drama, you know? Sometimes it just needs to be a page. LOL
Your balloon placement needs work. The second panel in the last row really threw me off because you overlapped the word balloon with the caption of the panel above it. The eye naturally wants to follow those sorts of pathways and it jarred me out of the story to have to redirect myself to the next panel. When you're doing thumbnails be careful of that - avoid in future! Your font is illegible for the speech balloons. Because word balloons can change sizes with the drop of a penny, you need to pick something really easy to read. The same font for the captions gives it a diary feel, so people are more willing to overlook/appreciate it, but in the balloons it has to be instantly recognizable. I know, I know, I'm a big ol' meanie about your text, sorry hon.
As for the people, for some reason your upper arms look really stiff and their poses look mechanical. Go crazy with the folds in the fabric, too - it kinda looks like paper. LOL Otherwise, I really like it - the emotions of the characters are really easy to read and they're instantly discernible at a distance (they don't look alike, LOL).
I really like this, and I cannot wait to see where this story goes! 
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Wow. Just wow. This critique was wonderful! I honestly appreciate it so much! You really know how to be nice and yet at the same time help me improve! I thrive on stuff like that. Thank you so much!
I totally agree with the speech-bubble thing! This is the technically the fifth page to a comic I've ever done! It's a big learning process for me! I was worried that the speech bubble down there was too big! And thanks for pointing that out about the handwriting! (It's my handwriting.)
Also, I'm not very good at drawing anime! It's hard for me! I'll have to work harder on the poses and technique for sure!
Thanks to artist like you, I've all ready made a huge deal of improvement from the first comic pages I made only a few months ago.
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That is so not your handwriting. Seriously? It looks like a computer did it!! D: Just, instead of using your usual script, write everything in caps. :3 That will help.
I've been critiquing in art class all day, so I think I have the technique down at this point. If I didn't, I'd be embarrassed to come to class. And I'm glad I gave a helpful critique to you~!
Do you use thumbnails, by the way? I didn't used to and as soon as I started, all those tricky spots with the speech balloons and format worked themselves out after a few pages. :>
Psht, and I wouldn't call myself an artist, just a scribbler of doodles.
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Well, it is my handwriting, but your right, the computer did it. I made my handwriting into a font.
What do you mean, thumbnails?
And please, do not be so modest! You're great! Much better then scribbles!!!
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Oh geezs. Thumbnails are little sketches of each page or illustration before you make the actual page. They're really important in comics because they help you see problem spots in your work before you draw them. You can also show them to friends and ask their opinions to make sure everything is coherent. You really ought to do them beforehand, it might make doing the actual page a lot easier if you've already plotted everything out, even though they aren't mandatory. XD
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Oh yes, I actually do those.
I'm just term-retarded.
My biggest problem is that I don't plan in the speech bubbles. I just draw the pics.
I'll have to start doing that.
You can really tell the difference between when I would make the thumbnails and when I wouldn't.
This page is done with a thumbnail.
And this page was done without one: [link]
(I like the drawings, but the layout is so embarrassing!!! )
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Always think of the speech balloons as part of the illustration. Makes it easier that way.
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Thank you so much!
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lovely work! your comic is coming out very well, especially compared to the first page. i like how you did the family portrait, everyone looks younger in it but older in the actual comic. some mangaka won't even show an age different in old photos so well done in paying attention to that! i also like the panel where the mother is washing clothes, the colors really show a cut scene from the ongoing scene C:
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Thank you so much for that lovely feedback! It really helps my confidence!!!
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Wow, great work! Your skills are improving so fast... Well done!
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Thank you so much! That's what I've been striving for!
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You are welcome
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I really like this!
I love how you drew characters and story looks pretty interesting.^^
Can't wait for the other page!
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Thank you so much!!! I'm so happy you're interested!!!
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