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beanbagbrianna — But I Don't Want To Move On...

#sans #waterfall #undertale #steamtale #steamtale_sans
Published: 2016-08-04 14:18:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 506; Favourites: 9; Downloads: 0
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Description Heya guys, can I be a sad turd for a little while? I can? Alright then, let's get started. 

Oh, and can I also be a total weirdo and just write a story type thing here? I can? Thanks, you're the best. (talking to mirror)

No, first off, a couple of things. Sans and Papyrus both keep aging after Gaster 'dies.' Not because Gaster isn't technically dead, though. I have other reasons. Papyrus keeps growing because for some time, he views Sans as his father figure. Of course, he grows out of this phase when he's older. As for Sans, his soul is so modified by magic that it works differently than monster souls. In fact, it has become almost human-like in some way. It is able to produce small amounts of determination and is able to provide age for Sans to grow from without absorbing from his father's soul. So technically, if Papyrus stays an individual as he is, they're both technically immortal. At least from aging, they can still die from other causes. (sickness, starving, murder, etc. You know, all the fun stuff) 

K, here's the product of me typing stuff early in the morning while listening to sad moosic. ;-;


    Sans had seemed like he was willing to walk, but Gerson ended up half-dragging him most of the way anyways. As usual, he said nothing. When was the last time he had said something? Gerson couldn’t even recall if he’d ever heard the kid talk around him before. All he ever seemed to do now was stare into space.

Of course he hadn’t objected to “go on a walk” as Gerson had put it, objecting would mean talking, and he wouldn’t want to do that, would he? Even if he had found the energy to argue, Gerson would have dragged Sans along anyways. This was something that needed to be done. Papyrus had handled everything correctly, right as it happened. Then again, Gerson guessed that Sans probably had more… “issues” than his little brother when it came to emotions.

He saw the bin of umbrellas and chose to pass it by without helping himself to what it had to offer. He never minded the rain, and the kid sure wasn’t going to complain. His speed increased and he heard Sans stumbling to adjust to the new speed behind him, his boots dragging and leaving long stretched out footprints in the wet ground.

He had told Undyne and Papyrus to “go and do whatever kids do when they’re bored,” which he knew, for them at least, consisted of going to the dump and using whatever they could find as training dummies, and probably hanging out with that Alphys girl Undyne was always talking about.

Gerson pulled Sans the last stretch of distance to the opening in the wall, walking through the other side. The king’s castle was the first thing that would catch your eye, shining in the distance. But then your gaze would move to the hundreds of twinkling stones on the ceiling, creating the illusion of what stars were on the surface. He glanced back at Sans and saw that, for the first time in what felt like forever, focus had returned to his eyesocket as he stared around at the sparkling rocks. This was good, he was already making progress.

He stopped walking about halfway across the path leading to yet another opening in the cave walls. Sans would have kept walking if there weren’t a turtle there for him to bump into. Gerson immediately knew he had made the right choice bringing him here. This was where his dad used to bring him, wasn’t it?

He turned around to face the boy, who was still lost in staring at the ceiling, fascinated by something he had seen so many times before.

“Sans?” Gerson tried.

Sans’s expression didn’t change, he went on staring.

“Sans.” He waved a hand in front of the kid’s face. The skeleton’s expression changed from distant to surprised.

“Hm?” he asked, half staring at Gerson, half staring past him.

Hm. Hm was all he had said, yet it was more than a nod or a head shake, so it was still progress.

“Sans, you remember this place, don’t you?”

“Sure.”

“And you remember who brought you here?”

“Why did we come here?” Sans looked slightly annoyed now.

“Because we need to talk.”

“We could have talked somewhere else.”

“No, no we couldn’t have. Because you would have just shut me out like you shut everything out.”

“Talk about what?” Sans asked, seeming to ignore Gerson’s previous statement.

“I think you know what.”

Annoyance turned into anger. “I want to leave,” he said, shifting his gaze to the side.

“Not until we clear a few thing up.”

“There’s nothing to clear up.”

Now Gerson was the one feeling angry. How stubborn and selfish could you get?

“Sure there is,” Gerson continued, managing to keep the anger he felt out of his voice. “There’s the fact that you don’t do anything but stare at the wall all day.”

“S-so?”

“And there’s the fact that you don’t know how to properly grieve.”

“I want to l-leave,” Sans said again, a more demanding tone seeping into his voice. The stutter was starting to come out though, overriding any sense of demand that might have once existed.

“I told you, we’re not leaving until we clear some things up.”

“And I told you that there’s nothing to clear up.”

“Tell me why you weren’t sad.”

“What?”

“Tell me why Papyrus cried when your father died but all you did was shut yourself down. No, more than that, you were angry.”

“We’re l-leaving.”

“Not until you tell me why.”

“What? Am I n-not allowed to feel angry?”

“Of course you are, but why at him? Because he died?”

“NO.”

“Why then?”

“BECAUSE HE ABANDONED US!” He could see tears brimming in the socket that still functioned properly.

“Are you really going to be angry at him for dying?”

“N-no! I’m mad because I KNOW WHAT HE DID!”

Gerson paused, feeling shocked. Did he really think that…?

“Sans, you have no way of knowing if-”

“I KNOW HE DID!” Those brimming tears started to fall, and his arm shot up and wiped them away furiously, like if he dried them fast enough then they wouldn’t have existed in the first place.

“Alright, alright.” Gerson said. “Let’s say that he ‘did.’ Is that why you were angry? Why you are angry?”

Sans nodded, still staring off to the side, and still looking furious. Alright, there was that taken care of, how did he progress from here?

“Sans, I’m worried about how you’re treating yourself. Undyne is, too. And Papyrus worries more than either us, I’m sure of that.”

“Y-yeah? So? Let em’ w-worry.”

“Well, kiddo, we’re worrying for good reason. If you continue the way you are now, you’re going to end up dying one of these days, probably sometime soon.”

“Yeah? W-well… good.”

“You saying you want to die?”

“That so hard to understand?” He looked ready to cry again, though he was trying to let his anger cover it up. It wasn’t working. And, no, it wasn’t hard to understand. In fact, Gerson understood perfectly. And that was what scared him. That was why he needed to stop it now.

“So you’re fine with abandoning everyone who cares about you? Abandoning Papyrus?”

Silence from his end.

“If  what you’re saying is true, then wouldn’t that make you a hypocrite?”

“Stop.”

“Wouldn’t that make you no different from him?”

“I w-wouldn’t say stuff like that.”

“Why not?”

“C-cause you’ll make me real mad. Then I might end up… doing something. I c-can hurt people, I’ve d-d-done it before.”

For a fraction of a second, Gerson believed him. But it only took a fraction of a second to notice his expression. Gerson pushed on.

“You can but you won’t.”

Silence from his end again, they both knew Gerson was right.

“Sans, nobody wants you to die.”

“Yeah? W-well, n-no one wanted D-dad to die! Look how that t-turned out!” He looked like he was ready to keep arguing, but those tears were back, and this time wiping them away wasn’t going to do much. He covered his face instead. Embarrassed to be crying in front of a grown-up.

“But the same thing doesn’t need to happen again.” Gerson said, crouching down to get on Sans’s level. Sans wiped at his eye furiously, tears only came out of that one side now anyways, so rubbing them away didn’t take very long. Gerson could tell the kid was forcing himself to look angry, using it as a distraction so he wouldn’t cry.

“Sans? Why won’t you let yourself be sad?”

“I t-t-told you! I’m mad at h-hi-hi….m….” His face contorted into a grimace, he was putting all his effort into trying to look angry, but he just looked like he was in pain.

“That’s not the real reason, is it?”

“It… i-i-it is….” He burst into tears, not even trying to hold it back this time. “Because it hurts! It h-hurts to be sad! It hurts s-s-so much!!”

Gerson bit his lip, telling himself that an adult crying in front of a child would not do this situation any good..

“I miss him!” Sans’s shoulders hunched forward at the force of the sobs, his legs shaking, struggling to keep him standing.

Gerson held out his arms in an offer for support, and Sans did more than accept it. He completely collapsed, letting Gerson catch him while he was still shaking through and through with each new onslaught of tears.

“It’s alright to be sad Sans. Even if it does hurt. In fact, it’s good to be sad sometimes, especially in your case.”

All he got as a response was hitched breathing and groans that could only be described as sounding like true misery. He lifted Sans up, knowing he wouldn’t be walking back the way he was now.

As Gerson thought, Sans was crying hard almost the entire walk back. Almost the entire walk. Near the end, the boy had gathered himself enough to speak again.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” Gerson said. “Just promise you won’t shut everyone out again.”

“P-promise,” he said. His breath hitched again and his voice got shaky. “Can I g-go see his g-grave? Today?”

“Of course, we can go now, if you want,” Gerson said. By 'grave', Sans had meant the memorial that Asgore had set up to serve as a grave. ‘Buried’ in the king’s garden, what an honor. Would have been more of an honor if they had found any dust to have a proper funeral with. “You want to bring flowers, or something, kid?”

He awaited a response and got none. He realized Sans was crying again.



Sorry if there are typos or something, I was very tired. Also sorry, it probably isn't that good, my judgement is clouded this early in the morning. Oh yeah, and Sans is like thirteen-ish here (maturity-wise) maybe twelve, I dunno, age is hard. Also, he has a stuttering problem that occasionally comes out. Why? It thought it was cute, that's why.

Totally didn't cry while typing this. T-T Just don't combine this and this song: www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl8f2m… , it was even enough to make my blackened heart ache for a bit. 
Related content
Comments: 12

Breakerofgem [2016-08-05 00:25:37 +0000 UTC]

story! -v-

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beanbagbrianna In reply to Breakerofgem [2016-08-05 22:05:58 +0000 UTC]

Story is important, yeah. =v=

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5th--Dimension [2016-08-04 20:31:30 +0000 UTC]

Ah, Gerson. People seem to forget about him, but he's just the best.

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beanbagbrianna In reply to 5th--Dimension [2016-08-05 22:06:43 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, heh. I feel like he's not used very much in other comics or AU's, so he's going to be a fairly big character in Steamtale later on.

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5th--Dimension In reply to beanbagbrianna [2016-08-05 22:39:46 +0000 UTC]

Yay!

Saw this magnificent fanfic where Gerson decides to fight Chara. It's amazing. I'm going to put a link. www.fanfiction.net/s/11738761/…

Just ctrl+f "Gerson."

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Myfuzzykins [2016-08-04 18:12:29 +0000 UTC]

Nooo Sans... its ok to cry... its ok to be sad...

this is wonderfully sad and beautiful.
Soo sad

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beanbagbrianna In reply to Myfuzzykins [2016-08-05 22:07:26 +0000 UTC]

Thank you. I might have based Sans a little too much off of myself for this.

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Myfuzzykins In reply to beanbagbrianna [2016-08-05 22:15:24 +0000 UTC]

Hey, we know each other best, of course our characters are likely to resemble ourselves in some ways, characters that share nothing with you often seem shallow and fake, since you dont know how to portray them

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beanbagbrianna In reply to Myfuzzykins [2016-08-05 22:18:16 +0000 UTC]

Yeah, that is very true.

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Myfuzzykins In reply to beanbagbrianna [2016-08-05 22:24:51 +0000 UTC]

I honestly think thats why I made my OC Scarlet become a protaginist when at first they were antagonist. I loved the story i made for her, and I got to attached that once I got the main part of her story down... I didnt know what to do.
So I was like
LETS MAKE HER A GOOD GUY IN THE END SO I CAN DO MORE WITH HER

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beanbagbrianna In reply to Myfuzzykins [2016-08-06 03:00:28 +0000 UTC]

xD I've done similar things with my characters before. I was working on a story and I had a main character set, but I made two side characters (i think there's a picture of them on DA, I don't remember. xD) and I liked those two characters so much that I ended up filling a notebook with their backstory, and decided that maybe they should be the main characters xD. Making stories for characters is way too much fun.

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Myfuzzykins In reply to beanbagbrianna [2016-08-06 16:37:58 +0000 UTC]

Ye, Scarlet was supposed to be the main antagonist

she ended up gaining soooo much backstory that she ends up being one of the main PROtagonists 

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