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betwixtthepages — Losing Traction
Published: 2012-04-06 03:25:55 +0000 UTC; Views: 525; Favourites: 14; Downloads: 5
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Description Snow clung to black eyelashes
as frozen fingers
grasped at fur collars,
damp necks,
empty pockets,
looking for more air to breathe with
under such heavy,
foreboding clouds.

The last time I kissed you
felt like a promise
neither of us meant to keep,
but when I stepped into the street
and faced that sliding car,
a caged beast,
I almost wished
I'd run after you.
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Comments: 16

gold-rose [2012-04-22 12:00:22 +0000 UTC]

Because you're a member of your work is featured in this journal [link]


Please make sure you add it to your favourites to get even more exposure!

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betwixtthepages In reply to gold-rose [2012-04-22 12:15:14 +0000 UTC]

Thank you so much!

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aprilwednesday [2012-04-08 18:22:59 +0000 UTC]



also, i love this part -

The last time I kissed you
felt like a promise
neither of us meant to keep

perfect description

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betwixtthepages In reply to aprilwednesday [2012-04-08 18:25:57 +0000 UTC]



Thank you, honey. I think that's my favorite part of this piece, too.

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MathUsurper [2012-04-07 17:32:24 +0000 UTC]

and the double-meaning of the title.

(although I'm a little worried about whether you have gone from "attraction" to "in traction")

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betwixtthepages In reply to MathUsurper [2012-04-07 21:01:33 +0000 UTC]

I hadn't, actually.

I was meaning the title as it is said--Losing Traction, as in, losing grip on the street, the tires "losing traction."

^.^

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MathUsurper In reply to betwixtthepages [2012-04-08 08:39:40 +0000 UTC]

Well ... you don't think there's a double meaning as in "losing control" when we fall in love?

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betwixtthepages In reply to MathUsurper [2012-04-08 14:31:15 +0000 UTC]

There is, yes. I just hadn't meant it to be that way, is what I was saying. I wrote the title PURELY for the "tires losing traction" bit and didn't even think about the double meaning. But when you pointed it out, I saw it.

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MathUsurper In reply to betwixtthepages [2012-04-09 18:42:43 +0000 UTC]

:^)

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MathUsurper [2012-04-07 17:30:49 +0000 UTC]

Love the black/white; "hot"/cold; empty/heavy juxtapositions.

In harmony with these is the 1st stanza -- imagery; 2nd stanza -- explanation juxtaposition.

much enjoyed -- thanks!
JoS

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betwixtthepages In reply to MathUsurper [2012-04-07 21:02:28 +0000 UTC]

Thank you very much!

I hadn't really noticed the juxtapositions playing out here--thanks for pointing them out.

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SurrealCachinnation [2012-04-07 05:37:33 +0000 UTC]

All my tears! All of them!

This is absolutely beautiful... and so tragic...

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betwixtthepages In reply to SurrealCachinnation [2012-04-07 11:35:39 +0000 UTC]

Thank you, hon.

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SurrealCachinnation In reply to betwixtthepages [2012-04-07 15:35:39 +0000 UTC]

Of course!

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Echostar08 [2012-04-06 17:00:36 +0000 UTC]

You really painted a picture of a beautiful, but tragic moment. Great job!

Lovely Links, too. Thanks for Linking

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betwixtthepages In reply to Echostar08 [2012-04-06 17:08:05 +0000 UTC]

Thank you!

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